Out of Sight Out of Mind (18 page)

Making love – she caught her breath. That was the only time that the pain went out of Jay’s eyes. And then afterwards he’d lay immobile beside her. Willing himself not to sleep. Keeping himself out of the dreams. And she wanted so much to help him—

She cupped her chin in her hands, forcing herself back to the figures. There was an uncompleted line in the spreadsheet. She’d rifled through the papers in her tray before she realised what it was, the blood test results that were still in her briefcase. And the case was – on the backseat of the car. She glanced at the window. Rain was beating against the glass. She wasn’t going out in
that
to find the case and then come back again. She filed the incomplete return and shut off the machine.

‘Rain’s stopped.’ Madison stood at the balcony door, watching a small boy disconsolately kicking his ball about in the open space across the street. His mother was sitting on a low wall, watching. She raised her hand to wave. ‘Why don’t you go and give Callum a game before bedtime?’

‘His or mine?’

Madison turned from the window. Jay was sitting on the floor, knees up, arms crossed around them. He’d given up all pretence of reading the book that was open and lying on the rug beside him. They hadn’t spoken for at least an hour. Now, when he raised his head, the dark shadows under his eyes were plain.

‘You could have an early night,’ she suggested gently. ‘
We
could.’

Jay shrugged. She saw his shoulders tense. ‘I’m not sleeping here tonight.’

Madison took a breath. ‘Fine, if that’s what you want.’ She watched him out of the corner of her eye, saw him start.

‘Are you humouring me?’ His head went back, eyes glinting.

‘I’m agreeing to what you want.’ She walked back into the room. ‘You need sleep, Jay. You’re not getting any rest, here, with me. You want to sleep next door, sleep there. Just
sleep
.’

She flopped on to the floor to sit in front of him, knees up, mirroring his pose. A mocking half-smile pulled his mouth out of shape. ‘Soothing the crazy man.’

‘I can think of another soother.’ She slanted her head. ‘You up for it?’

‘What do you think?’ The stiffness in his neck had relaxed a fraction. He put out a hand and she clasped it, palm to palm.

Madison weighed up options. She could gloss over this, take Jay to bed, give him the respite he desperately needed. Or she could confront it, head-on.
Nobody runs forever
.

‘You don’t worry about whether you might hurt me when we make love – it’s not even in your head,’ she said abruptly. ‘No fear at all. So why is it different all the rest of the time?’

There was shock in his face. She saw him searching for his response.

‘Making love with you …’ The look in his eyes made something hot quiver over her. He shook his head. ‘It’s the only time I feel whole. Like it doesn’t matter who or what I am.’

‘It doesn’t. You’re beating yourself up, Jay – because of something that might not exist.’

‘But what if it does? No, listen—’ He held up his hand against her objections. ‘What’s going on in my brain, we’re sure it didn’t get there by accident.’

‘So?’

‘So – someone put it there. We’ve never really talked about why.’ She could see the restlessness and the torment in every line of his body. ‘What if I got away from somewhere? Somewhere
really
spooky? And the barrier, whatever it is, has been put there to block something – something grotesque.’ He shuddered. ‘I could be anything – a psychopath, any kind of deviant, a killer, child molester—’

‘That’s why you’ve stopped playing with Callum.’ She covered his hands with hers. ‘Don’t torture yourself, Jay. You saved that child.’ She shook him gently. ‘If you had instincts to harm anyone, don’t you think they’d still be there? Just like the ability to read or to recognise a tune?’

He rocked back, away from her. ‘But what if they’ve been deliberately excised? As a kind of cure? And we’re trying to undo that process. If we open the box – God alone knows what will crawl out.’

‘You want to stop?’

‘No!’ His whole body went rigid. She watched the battle wash over his face. Conscience, over need. This was the bedrock. What this thing was really about. She had to lean forward to hear him, he spoke so softly. ‘Everything rational in me says that we should stop. That I have to learn to live like this.’ He looked up, eyes anguished. ‘I don’t have the courage to do that. I want … to go on. If you will? We just have to be … careful.’

‘So – you want me to tie you down, like Frankenstein’s monster, before I go to work on you?’

‘It’s a thought.’

The pain in his eyes shifted slightly as she smiled into them. She put all she had of reassurance into that smile. She had to get this right.

‘Jay, whatever happened to you, it is not down to you. Someone put it there. I’m surer of that every day. And I don’t think it was because you’re dangerous. This thing, if it’s constructed the way I think it is, uses your own mind against you. I don’t believe the brain would naturally work against itself in
that
way. You don’t feel like a psychopath, or any of those other things, and you don’t act like one. If that was true, it wouldn’t just be a matter of blocking something. It would mean replacing one character with another, a whole new mindset. There are people out there who are good, but not that good. Trust me on this.’ She risked a look up at him, through her lashes. ‘Tying you up sounds like an interesting proposition, and maybe we can explore it some time, in a recreational context …’ She waited until she saw the corner of his mouth twitch. ‘I’m not afraid of you, Jay. I don’t think that you’re going to turn into a werewolf when we find out what’s going on in your head, but if it will make you happy, I promise to keep a gun loaded with silver bullets under my pillow. First sign of trouble and you get it – straight through the heart.’

He was smiling now, despite himself. ‘You are seriously disturbed. You know that?’

‘Of course I am. It goes with the job. Now get out there and let Callum beat you at football, before it gets dark.’

Madison sat on the bed. Her limbs were in the lotus position but her mind was way out still, churning information. She was sure that Jay wasn’t crazy or violent.
And we’ll just forget the bit in the alley when he came at you with an iron bar, shall we? Pretend it never happened?

Giving up on the yoga – she didn’t practice enough to be any good at it – she unwound her limbs. There had been violence in Jay that night, with reason, but it wasn’t there now. She examined the thought. That was the truth. She knew the difference. Jay was the victim. She had to believe that.

She headed for the shower.

The CEO was leaning against his desk when Alec entered the room. The sight of the short-sleeved sport’s shirt, straining over bulging biceps, and the baggy pants in hallucinatory tartan, put a brief hitch in Alec’s step, but he recovered quickly. Not quite quickly enough.

‘It’s a holiday weekend, Calver.’ The CEO held out his hand for the report. ‘Is this good?’

‘I think you’ll find it so, sir.’ Alec handed it over with a tight smile.

‘The ape plays golf!’ Vic’s eyes bugged for a moment, before he began to laugh. When he almost choked, Alec thumped him between the shoulder blades, slightly harder than was necessary. Recovering, Vic gave him a sharp look. Alec met it blandly.

‘Networking,’ he suggested. ‘Lots of contacts, male bonding, all that crap.’

‘Anyone who wants to bond with the ape—’ Vic let the idea hang. ‘He reads what’s in that file, he’s going to be too happy to see the little white ball. Are we geniuses or are we geniuses?’

‘The critical part is still to come,’ Alec cautioned.

‘Yeah, I know. Don’t sweat it.’ Vic waved away the warning. ‘Look – the thing with the river, I was in too much of a hurry. I admit it.’ He grinned as Alec blinked. ‘Watching them tiptoeing around each other was so bloody frustrating. And don’t pretend you didn’t feel the same.’ He pointed a finger at Alec’s chest, before curling it into a fist. ‘But now we have Creed in Albi’s bed – without us having to give them any more help. Plus the good doctor is what – this much?’ he held up a closely aligned finger and thumb, ‘away from opening the box.’ He leaned back in his chair. ‘We’ve got the sex confirmed from the gossipy cleaning woman at the apartments. Real hot sex, and I mean
hot
– lingerie, the lot. That van driver from the florist is seriously good.’ He gave a crack of laughter. ‘And wouldn’t the guy in Dubai be surprised just how often he’s sending his wife flowers!’

Alec’s head jerked. ‘Is he going to suspect—’

‘Nah!’ Vic shook his head. ‘Left his credit card details, didn’t he? For regular
bouquets,
’ Vic drawled. ‘He’s just gonna be pleasantly surprised how far his money stretched. Hope the little woman is suitably grateful, when he finally gets home.’ Vic leered, rubbing his hands, well pleased with himself. ‘The mind stuff – Albi’s lab results – they’re coming in fine, too – the computer I’m monitoring and the ones your bloke in the test place is intercepting.’

Alec pursed his lips. ‘I’m not sure that’s going to be available much longer. We may have to make other arrangements. It looks like the test place is having its contract terminated.’

‘Not surprising, with half its staff on the take.’

‘One technician, and a delivery driver,’ Alec objected.

Vic shrugged. ‘Whatever. Not really a problem, old son, Albi’s
doing
it. Doesn’t need us to interfere, just to keep our eye on the ball. And she’s two weeks ahead of your best-case scenario. You
said
she was good.’

‘
He
said she was good,’ Alec corrected. ‘She was on the original shortlist, but he interviewed Gina first.’ A small spasm crossed Calver’s eyes.

‘Messy, man,’ Vic sympathised. ‘But now you have me on the case.’

‘Yes.’ Alec looked at him. Cold. ‘This has to go down perfectly. We bring them in, the moment that Albi makes the breakthrough, day or night—’

‘Hey, it’s going to take them a little while to figure out what they’ve got.’

‘Not long,’ Alec objected. ‘And when they do, they’ll run. So we have to be there. We have to know, and we have to be ready. Whatever you need to put in place, you do it – now.’

‘Don’t get your knickers twisted. It’s all in hand.’ Vic looked at his watch. ‘Even as we speak.’

‘Dr Albi?’

‘Scott?’ Madison tucked the house phone under her chin, as she dumped out the contents of her handbag on the kitchen table. Pouncing on her car keys, she tumbled everything else back in, with a quick swipe off the end of the table. ‘I’m just about to leave. What is it?’ She picked up a toffee that had rolled away, unwrapped it, one-handed, and popped it into her mouth.

‘Just checking, Dr Albi. I have the maintenance company here, for the heating systems? They need to check the block – some of the units may have a faulty component. Will it be okay to let them in later?’

‘Yeah.’ Madison sucked the toffee. ‘Whatever you need.’

‘This is ridiculous.’ Madison picked her way carefully around the trestles and pots of paint. ‘Who the hell authorised this, and why wasn’t I told?’

‘Woo – scary Dr Albi, out for blood.’ Jonathan moved her out of the way of a man carrying a ladder. ‘Run and hide.’

‘Fool!’ Madison punched his ribs. ‘I just think I should have been warned that someone had decided that my office should be painted.’

‘It’s not just you – they’re all over the place. Apparently maintenance arranged it for the long weekend, when the building was empty, but someone put the wrong start date in the order – today not tomorrow. No one’s admitted to it yet – but when the director finds out who it was …’ He made a graphic throat-slitting gesture. ‘And talking of the devil.’

Madison swung round, to see the director approaching them.

‘I know.’ He held up his hands. ‘Heads will roll, I promise you that. In the meantime,’ he cast a rueful look round, ‘I think that the only option is to break for the holiday,’ he consulted his watch, ‘six hours early. I have complete assurance from the maintenance manager that everything will be kept secure and protected.’ He glared at a workman, whistling by with a bundle of dust sheets under his arm. ‘But you’d better check over and lock up whatever you need. Then you can go. Have a good one.’

‘Have a good one?’ Madison looked at Jonathan as the director strode away.

‘He has teenage children,’ Jonathan reminded her. He was grinning. ‘Well, you heard the boss. Let out of school, a whole day early. Cornwall, here I come. Surf’s up, man!’

Madison intercepted Jay as he walked towards the lab from the bus stop, drawing into the kerb to pick him up. He looked at her questioningly as he slid into the car.

‘The decorators are in – so we’re out.’ She peered through the windscreen. The sun was burning off early morning puddles in the road. The weather forecast was for a fine weekend. ‘I think it’s an omen. How long will it take you to pack a bag?’

‘I could drive,’ he suggested, half an hour later as they pulled out into the line of traffic. ‘If I had a driving licence. Also if I knew where we were going.’

‘Wait and see.’ She was grinning.

He settled back in his seat. ‘No fair. Clues?’

‘Mmm. They speak another language, but you don’t need a passport.’

‘Good thing, as I don’t have one of those, either.’ He squinted at the approaching motorway sign. ‘You do have an actual destination in mind? One that isn’t going to be booked solid?’ he queried, as she looked sideways at him. ‘Bank holiday? Fine weather?’

‘Don’t worry. We’ll have the place to ourselves. I promise.’ She took her eyes off the road to look over at him. ‘This is time out, Jay. No work, no mind reading. Just you and me. Deal?’

He reached to take her hand. ‘Deal.’

‘I think it should be down this way.’ Madison turned the sketch map sideways, keeping it out of Jay’s sight. She’d given up on the satnav after it triumphantly deposited them in a deserted car park.

‘You
think
?’ Jay asked suspiciously, tweaking the map out of her hand. ‘C’mon, I’ve figured out from the bilingual road signs that this is Wales. You may as well tell me the rest.’ He studied the map. ‘Guillemot Cottage? Right. No –
turn
right – there, just past the sign that says Tenby.’

They travelled along a winding B road for a couple of miles.

‘We must be getting nearer.’ Madison rolled down the window. ‘I can smell the sea – and there are gulls.’ She turned the wheel, and they bumped into a rutted farm track. ‘If I’m right … I’ve never actually been here before. Yes, there. See the sign? Oh! Wow!’

She brought the car gently to a stop and they sat in silence, taking in the view.

The cottage was small, white painted and half-covered in wild-looking clematis, just coming into flower. Beyond that there was only the sky and the gulls. Below the headland a narrow sandy bay stretched in a nearly perfect arc. A dark straggle of seaweed marked the extent of the tide, and a large rock broke the line of the outgoing surf.

‘It’s beautiful.’ Jay exhaled. ‘Who does it belong to – Jonathan?’

‘It’s mine.’ She folded her hands over the wheel, still for a moment. ‘It was part of my legacy, from Neil. He left me everything, and the deeds for this were amongst the papers. He completed the purchase the day before he died. He told the solicitor it was for a wedding present. I’ve never really understood …’ She put her hand to her head. ‘There are no memories here, his or mine, but he wanted me to have it. Chose it for me. I’ve never been able to get it together to come here before – a couple from Tenby take care of it for me – but now it’s right for us to be here.’

She could feel the tension that she hadn’t known was gathered in her neck and spine, beginning to unravel, like yarn. She opened the car door.

‘Time to explore.’