“My
gawd
, it’s gotten all Stepford-queers up in here,” Valerie said, sounding particularly disgusted. “You’re both
totally
awesome, we get it already, now move the conversation along before I black out from the boredom of it all.”
Levi sucked in a deep breath of air, counting to ten but Jake was chuckling under his breath, which seemed to put Julia at ease as she’d appeared visibly unsure what to make of Valerie.
“You are a little loco, no?” Sophia asked, eyeing Valerie suspiciously as she took a sip of wine.
“You bet your sweet ass, senorita.” Valerie began laughing at herself, like she’d just told best joke ever.
“There’s nothing wrong with Val that a continued regimen of Thorazine couldn’t fix,” Levi said, shooting her the evil-eye, praying that would clue her in that he didn’t appreciate her shenanigans.
“So who else here thinks this whole relationship nonsense is moving way too fast?” Valerie asked, completely ignoring Levi. “These boys moved in together before the sweat from their first wanton act of copulation had time to dry.”
“Um… rude much?” Levi asked.
Valerie held up her hand, not waiting for anyone else to chime in. “It’s not right, people. I tell ya, I smell trouble.”
“Trouble?” Angelo asked.
“Right here in Wilde City,” Valerie added in a hushed whisper.
Angelo gasped. “With a capital T?”
“And that rhymes with B and that stands for boys.” Valerie nodded.
Ruby began applauding as Levi rolled his eyes. Everyone else started giggling over
The Music Man
reference. Everyone except Craig, who looked completely stumped over what was so humorous.
“I don’t get it,” Craig said, looking to his wife.
Sophia patted him on the shoulder. “It’s okay sweetie, just sit there and look pretty for me.”
“That I can do.” Craig nodded as he shoveled another fork full of food into his mouth.
Gregory and Julia both laughed as Sophia gave her husband a peck on the cheek.
“As the mother of bridegroom number one, I’m going on the record and stating this relationship didn’t move fast enough in my humble opinion.” Ruby wiped her mouth with her napkin. “I adore Jake. He’s every bit the dreamboat I imagined for my Levi.”
“Aw, thank you, Ruby,” Jake said.
“That was sweet, Momma.”
“My boy did good.” Ruby winked at Jake who was still grinning like an idiot. “I mean, if you gotta look across the table at someone for the rest of your life—what a face to look at, huh?”
Jake was slightly preening now. “Why thank you very much.”
Julia shook her head at her brother. “I can actually see your head getting larger by the second.”
Jake picked up his wine glass. “Nobody asked you, sis.”
Julia turned to Levi, who assumed she was hoping for a little back up.
“Don’t look to me for help, lady.” Levi raised his hands in the air as if to surrender. “I’m anything but impartial. I’m with my mom on this one, the man is a total dreamboat.”
“Way to stand by your man, baby.” Jake nodded his appreciation.
“I just threw up in my mouth,” Valerie announced to no one in particular.
Gregory was chuckling at Val as he reached over and placed a hand on Jake’s shoulder. “You might want to slow down there, buddy. You really think it’s safe to downshift so quickly after suffering from years of belittlement and the methodical criticism of your parents?”
Julia let out a little squeak, which her husband decided to ignore.
“You’re not used to so much high praise and adoration,” Gregory said, an exaggerated expression of concern taking over his face. “You need to be more careful about soaking in too much love, too quickly. You’ll overdose and your brain will explode and we’ll be left with a cold shallow husk… a mere shadow of the man you used to be.”
Jake sneered at Gregory, apparently not appreciating the reminder of his Freeman upbringing.
Gregory was doing his best to hold back a smile.
Julia rolled her eyes. “Please stop talking Gregory, what
will
everyone think of us?”
“That the two of you were raised by Captain Hook and Cruella de Vil?” Angelo asked, smiling sweetly as he shoved a fork full of salad into his mouth.
Jake’s head fell back, laughing hysterically.
“Which is not
entirely
accurate,” Julia said.
Jake stared her down, wide-eyed.
“Okay, fine, so it’s kind of true,” Julia said, visibly exasperated as she leaned back in her seat.
Gregory placed an arm around her, giving his wife a squeeze of reassurance.
“I’d like to know when this wedding is going to happen already,” Ruby said, likely an attempt at changing the subject. “It’s been six months now and not a word about when the two of you plan to stop living in sin and make things legal.”
Levi rolled his eyes at his mother, who certainly had no right to be judging anyone else for sin-living considering her own free-lovin’ philosophy which had ruled over his formative years. The fact the entire table had gone completely silent was Ruby’s clue that she had let the cat out of the bag.
She started to fidget in her seat.
They hadn’t mentioned the marriage bit to anyone else, deciding it would be better to wait a year and then announce it so everyone other than Ruby didn’t think he and Jake had completely lost their marbles.
“First of all, Mother, as you have no doubt been able to ascertain judging by the deafening silence that has fallen across the table, nobody else knew about that.” Levi smiled sweetly, which was pointless considering the sarcastic tone of his delivery. “Secondly, you are not doing a song and dance number at either the ceremony or the reception.”
“Good Lord, it’s worse than I thought!” Valerie said. “Is the sex so good that you’ve each lost your ever-loving minds?”
Levi felt his face burn hot, completely mortified by Valerie’s comment and Sophia reached over, placing a hand on his lap.
“Judging by the shade of red on your face I’m thinking congratulations are in order,” Sophia muttered out of the side of her mouth.
Jake was no help at all, with his elbows propped against the table top and his face shoved into the palms his hands, laughing so hard at this point that he was no longer making any sound.
“I don’t see why I shouldn’t be allowed to do a number at the wedding,” Ruby said, now sounding grumpy and seemingly ignorant of the fact that entire world didn’t revolve around her own needs and desires.
“I’m voting yes to the dance number,” Angelo blurted out, “I’ll be your back-up dancer.”
“Me too,” Gregory said, looking particularly ornery. “Come on, Levi, a little soft-shoe never hurt anyone.”
“I’m less swayed by that disclaimer considering it comes from the man who wanted elf mud-wrestling as the entertainment for his anniversary party.”
“I, for one, would like to offer my congratulations to each of you.” Julia lifted her wine glass, appearing to be quite sincere. “I couldn’t be happier for the two of you. I’m thrilled. Really and truly.”
“Thanks, sis.” Jake was wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes. “That means a lot to me.”
“Me too,” Levi said, smiling at her.
“Something classy, of course,” Ruby said, apparently still lost in thought over the dance number that was never going to happen. “I’m picturing a large scale, Fosse-inspired Broadway routine… backing me up, obviously…”
“Obviously.” Levi shook his head at her, deciding it would be better to indulge her fantasy for the time being.
Jake was smiling at him and Levi felt all the irritation he was currently experiencing begin to evaporate.
Who the hell needed Xanax with Jake around?
The entire world fell away as Jake continued staring into his eyes from the other side of the table. All the insanity of their friends and family chattering away as they each weighed in, offering their opinions on when and where they should tie the knot faded away until there was no one, but he and Jake.
Jake mouthed the words,
I love you
, and Levi nodded that he understood and accepted the love Jake had offered of his own free will. For a brief moment, Levi thought he might cry, only to laugh instead, realizing it was merely happiness that had inspired his emotional reaction.
Levi could picture their entire lives together in the back of his mind and that was how he knew that he and Jake would be together forever, until death do them part. It felt like it might be uniquely specific to the love they shared and Levi’s belief that this one aspect of his life was now so completely etched in stone, meant none of the rest of it mattered. Work, family and friends… Every other aspect of their lives would all work itself out in due time. All the angst and urgency that had plagued their relationship upon first meeting one another had been replaced with a sense of safety and serenity.
Levi mouthed,
I love you
, back and he sighed, comforted by the fact he was finally content with who he was and how far he had come. All the fear and the doubts that had weighed upon him throughout his childhood and for most of his adult life were nothing more than bad memories. Whatever adversity came his way from this point forward, he wouldn’t have to face it alone and that was everything to him. He no longer had to wonder if someone was going be there to love him tomorrow—Jake would cherish him today and for all other days thereafter—and Levi intended do the same for Jake.
THE END
Trademark Acknowledgement
The author acknowledges the trademark status and trademark owners of the following wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction:
Thunderdome: Warner Bros.
Mercedes SLS: Daimler AG
Sin City: Frank Miller, Inc.
Band-Aid: Johnson & Johnson
Starbucks: Starbucks, Inc.
Prius: Toyota Motor Company
Cinderella/Snow White/Cruella de Vil/Captain Hook: Disney Enterprise, Inc.
I Dream of Jeannie: Columbia Pictures Industries, Inc.
iPad/iPod: Apple, Inc.
Oz:
Turner Entertainment, Co
Levis: Levi Strauss & Co.
Mad Men: Lions Gate Entertainment, Inc.
Some Like It Hot:
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc.
Looney Toons: Warner Bros.
Psycho: Paramount Pictures
Richie Rich: Classic Media, Llc
Post-It: 3M Company Corporation
Casablanca: (original black & white version): Warner Bros.; Colorized:
Turner Entertainment, Co
Silkwood: 20th Century Fox
Prozac: Eli Lilly And Company Corporation
Coca-Cola: The Coca-Cola Company
Scout: The Boy Scouts of America
Heineken: Heineken International
Legos: The LEGO Group
Voldemort: Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. and J K Rowling
Jedi: Lucasfilm Ltd
Cops: Barbour/Langley Productions
Disney: Disney Enterprises, Inc.
Chanel: Chanel S.A.
On The Town: Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer
Kleenex: Kimberly-Clark Worldwide, INC
Styrofoam: The Dow Chemical Company
Snuggie: Allstar Products Group
Q-Tips: Conopco, Inc
Harley Davidson: Harley-Davidson Inc
American Pickers: A&E Television Networks, LLC
Thorazine: Smithkline Beecham Corporation
The Music Man: Warner Bros.
Xanax: The Upjohn Company (now part of Pfizer, Inc)
Ethan Day
I am a gay man living in Missouri...I can hear the gasps already!! How very un-chic of me, yes I know. It was here I was born and here I have stayed. The youngest of four children and the only boy, I’ve always suffered from an extravagant fantasy life. When I played with my Star Wars action figures as a child, I liked to make up my own stories. Naturally, Luke Skywalker and Han Solo were totally meant for each other, and Princess Leia made a bitchin' wise-cracking Fag Hag.
I managed to survive high school living in a small, racist town in Southeast Missouri and emerged unscathed, realizing life was too short to pretend to be anything other than who I was. It was very Lifetime Movie Network meets After School Special, I assure you.
After several stints in college, I signed up for a Creative Writing course, choosing the class because there were no tests. For once my scholastic laziness paid off, and I found an outlet for all the fantasies running amuck inside my head. It was love at first write, and I've been doing it off and on ever since.
Also by Ethan Day
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Dreaming of You
As You Are
At Piper’s Point
Sno Ho