How to Be a Great Lover (22 page)

This is one of the more favored items ladies buy for their gentlemen. It adds a new dimension to a most favored male pastime, masturbating. It is a translucent pink sleeve that is soft and gently ridged inside—just like us. It is placed snugly onto the erect penis with your choice of water-based lubricant inside, and voila! As one man stated, "In combination with my vivid imagination, three strokes and I was done!" A multipurpose toy, it can be used on him by you, or by himself—either accompanied or solo.

Secret from Lou's Archives

For those concerned that masturbation or "Pink Elephants" will replace you, worry not. Ladies, the majority of men masturbate regularly. Masturbation or the use of a Pink Elephant in no way indicates they aren't sexually satisfied; sometimes, men simply masturbate to relieve a bit of stress. Men have said it is very comforting when they can share these activities with their wives or partners. And some gentlemen enjoy having a spectator.

The Pink Elephant is an ideal "gift" for those times when one is unavailable or your partner is traveling. I have been told it fits well in shaving kits and computer cases. Proponents of the PE are young mothers with children, tired executives, pregnant ladies, and any other woman who wants to I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW

This toy is a clear silicone-like penis sheath with two texturized surfaces, one for the wearer and one for the recipient. ICSCN is worn by a gentleman to augment his width and, to the delight of ladies, its textured bumps heighten her sensation. The idea behind this product is a custom amongst tribes in southeast Asia where they would make a small incision into the skin on the shaft of the penis and insert bells, small stones, pearls, etc., to enhance their ability to pleasure their partners. As a woman from Seattle said, "Oh, weren't they considerate?" There is a lining of soft fringe on the inside for him. There is a slight decrease in sensation for the man. Said one male user, "It felt like a thick condom but I wasn't concerned about losing my erection. The look on her face makes it worthwhile."

BUTT PLUGS AND ANAL BEADS

For those who enjoy anal penetration here are the two favorites. The sensation for women is feeling more full, and if intercourse is to take place there is an even greater feeling of fullness. For men, the primary stimulation spot would he the prostate gland. Both toys require lots of lubrication as the anus connect with her partner but is either too

tired or unable physically to do so. And if

Butt plug

does not have any natural lubrication.

you remember the comment about "sex is

hard work," the men in our lives have worn

Pink Elephant

Butt plugs are in essence a dildo for the anus but with a design adaptation of

down their batteries as well. One young mother of four,

including twins, under age four, said her husband's original response was, "What is THAT?" and now he says, "Honey, can you get the pink thing: Says his pleased wife, "This has been a godsend for us."

a flange at the base to ensure it does not fully enter the rectum. It is usually an inverted cone shape so that once it is in, the strength of the sphincter holds it in place.

Anal beads

Anal beads are plastic or metal balls all on a string and all but one are inserted into the anus and gently pulled out at the moment of orgasm, as the PC muscle is undergoing orgasmic spasms in the anus.

Care and Cleaning of Your Toys

You should always use water-based lubricants with any of your plastic, latex, or rubber toys because oil will start to break them down and it could result in a sticky, goopy surface. If it says oil anywhere on the ingredients label, it's an oil-based product. See Chapter 5 for field researchers' suggestions on lubricants.

• What's yours is yours and should not be shared. Period. They can bring or get their own toys. This would be the one time your mother's sharing lesson is wrong.
  
• As with any item that touches your body, or enters your body, use soap and water to clean your toys. If you are using them anally, be sure that is all they are used for, and store them in a separate bag from other (vaginal) toys.
  
• In order to ensure your own protection, always dress any toy you use with a condom. It keeps you from introducing unseen bacteria into yourself and makes cleaning up very simple. Use hot soapy water.
  

For the Playfully Advanced

BUNGEE SEX

Probably the most innovative toy I've seen is the bungee sex toy. Designed by a gentleman who loves bungee jumping, this to\ allows you to achieve weightless sex. Essentially, it is an ergonomically designed and patented harness system whereby the partner in it can assume umpteen positions for sex while the freestanding or sitting partner controls the range and intensity of motion. This also provides a most unique way to perform oral sex. The per forming partner can move the recipient up and down with just a pinkie motion. Probably the biggest problem with this bungee is locating a ceiling stud to attach it to. It is available in regular or large sizes. For information call Cords Unlimited, 888-828-6431

REAL DOLL

This takes the blow up doll into the twenty-first century with a bang. It's best I just tell you to find it on
www.realdoll.com/ It has too many features and I would do it injustice with a one paragraph description. Suffice it to say this is the doll that Howard Stern had sex with on his show.

Where Can I Get Toys?

There are a number of mail-order, fully illustrated catalogues, as well as stores in most major cities, nationwide, that sell sex toys. Consult Sources at the back of the book.

Toys may not be for everyone, but they can be a lot of fun and add yet another new dimension to sex with your partner.

One F inal Word

How to Be a Great Lover is my gift to you. At the risk of sounding sanctimonious, I must tell you that women who have attended my seminars (and their men as well) have said that these techniques have changed their lives. It is my hope that you too can benefit from my long and winding search for useful, practical information about how to become not just proficient as a lover, but a master.

However, keep in mind that the information in this book is yours and yours alone—until you choose to share it. It's personal, private, and special. And no one should feel forced to share this kind of knowledge unless and until she wants to. Remember, this book's premise is that the more information you have, the more confident you will feel as a lover. But it's completely up to you how and when to use the information. If you're in a new relationship, for example, you may want to wait and see how other aspects of intimacy progress before trying a technique. Trust yourself. For those of you in a marriage or long-term relationship, you may have more room to explain to your partner how you suddenly became a sexual master. Again, if you've been with your partner for a long time, you will probably feel more casual about telling him. However, in newer relationships, you may experience some awkwardness when first introducing some of these techniques and he may even wonder how you became such a great lover. Put any worries to rest by showing him the book. In my seminars I have heard again and again women sharing their stories of how they've explained their newfound talents to their men; believe me, the men may be surprised, but they are ultimately grateful.

Above and beyond all, these techniques are meant to enhance your sexual relationship and give both you and your lover a richer, more meaningful intimacy. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy! And good luck!

Bibliography

Anand, Margo. The Art of Sexual Ecstasy: The Path of Sacred Sexuality for Western Lovers. 450 pp. Los Angeles, CA: Jeremy Tarcher, 1989.

Anand, Margo. The Art of Sexual Magic: Cultivating Sexual Energy to Transform Your Life. 383 pp. New York, NY: Tarcher/Putnam, 1995.

Bakos, Susan Crain. What Men Really Want: Straight Talk from Men About Sex. 225 pp. New York, NY: St. Martin's Paperbacks, 1990.

Barrows, Sydney Biddle. Mayflower Manners: Etiquette for Consenting Adults. 221 pp. New York, NY: Doubleday, 1990.

Bechtel, Stefan. The Practical Encyclopedia of Sex and Health. 366 pp. Emmaus, PA: Rodale, 1993.

Bechtel, Stefan. Sex: A Man's Guide. 500 pp. Emmaus, PA: Rodale, 1996. Birch, Robert. Oral Caress: The Loving Guide to Exciting a Woman—A Comprehensive Illustrated Manual on the Joyful Art of Cunnilingus. 138

pp. Columbus, OH: PEC Publications, 1996.

Bishop, Clifford. Sex and Spirit: Ecstasy and Transcendence Ritual and Taboo: The Undivided Self 184 pp. Boston, MA: Little, Brown and Company, 1996.

Blank, Joani. Good Vibrations: The Complete Guide to Vibrators. 70 pp. San Francisco, CA: Down There Press, 1989.

Brothers, Joyce. What Every Woman Should Know about Men. 218 pp. New York, NY: Simon and Schuster, 1981.

Brown, Helen Gurley. Cosmopolitan's Love Book: A Guide to Ecstasy in Bed. 197 pp. New York, NY: Cosmopolitan Books, 1972.

Caine, K. Winston. The Male Body: An Owner's Manual. 405 pp. Emmaus, PA: Rodale, 1996.

Chesser, Eustace. Strange Loves: The Human Aspects of Sexual Deprivation. 255 pp. New York, NY: William Morrow and Company, 1971.

Chichester, B., ed. Sex Secrets: Ways to Satisfy Your Partner Every Time. 168 pp. Emmaus, PA: Rodale, 1996.

Comfort, Alex. The Joy of Sex: A Gourmet Guide to Love Making. 253 pp. New York, NY: Fireside/Simon and Schuster, 1972.

Comfort, Alex. The New Joy of Sex: A Gourmet Guide to Lovemaking for the Nineties. 256 pp. New York, NY: Crown Publishers Inc., 199 I Danielou, Alain. The Complete Kama Sutra: The First Unabridged Modern Translation of the Classic Indian Text. 560 pp. Rochester, VI. Park Street Press, 1994.