How to Be a Great Lover (18 page)

VAGINAL ORGASM

(VIA COITAL ALIGNMENT TECHNIQUE)

The "alignment" is between the two parts of the genitals: her clitoris and his pubic bone region. This pubic area is cushioned by the fat tissue so it isn't just hard bone.

Vaginas are mysterious places, known to contain many sensitive areas for stimulation. Some women refer to an orgasm vaginal because this is the place where they feel the most sensation. Sometimes with their partner inside, women find that their orgasm actually comes from clitoral stimulation. Other times, the man is deep enough inside, and maintains constant contact between her clitoris and his pubic bone at the base of his penis. she can achieve an orgasm via coital alignment technique. This happens most often in the female superior position or with the man in the male superior position; in both he will be penetrating as deeply as he can. Then she or he starts a slow pelvic rock ing motion, about a two-inch range of motion, without breaking contact with her clitoral area. It is the constant contact and motion that brings her to climax.

FEMALE EJACULATION

Some women ejaculate regularly; others, rarely; some, nevi Female ejaculation can occur during intercourse, manual play. or during oral sex (cunnilingus). And women who do ejaculate typically know they do, and have had to deal with partners of themselves thinking they have urinated—not so. The source of the fluid is apparently the Bartholin glands, which respond like salivary glands. They squirt, and are located on either side of the urethra, hence people assume the ejaculate is urine.

Men who have tasted and smelled female ejaculate have said, "It has a taste and smell all its own." It has been reported ' by some as tasting sweet; others say it is little or no different from vaginal secretions. Secret from Lou's Archives Before I get into the different positions for intercourse, I want to say two words—safety and lubricant. We've already discussed both in great detail so there is no reason to go on and on about them again. Just remember that it is sexy to be responsible. Insisting on safe sex until you know for sure that you're both healthy and disease-free is a sign of class as well as a show of respect for both yourself and your lover.

Using additional lubricant beyond that which your body produces naturally can only enhance your sexual experience. Whether you self-lubricate or not, no woman stays wet forever. Applying lubricant to him or yourself before or during a sexual encounter will ensure long-lasting comfort. You know how painful it can be to have a man enter you when there's not enough moisture for him to slide in easily. It can also cause severe chafing and soreness to his penis, a condition he may not notice at the time, but will most definitely feel later. When this happens, it makes it difficult for him to enjoy intercourse again within a short period of time. The vagina, in its most sexually ready state, should fit a man like a warm, wet, kidskin glove.

Another piece of information to keep in mind has to do with shaving. Some women like to shave their pubic hair because it increases their sensitivity. Please know this can be a bit rough on your man. As one man said, "I was once with a woman who had shaved herself completely. When we were together it had been a few days since she shaved. Man, in my shaft was rubbed so raw, it looked like hamburger. But I didn't even notice it until the next morning—by then it was too late to tell her." Waxing is usually more effective, lasts longer, and eliminates rough stubble.

Positions

In spite of all the pictures or drawings you may have seen countless books depicting hundreds of sexual positions, the truth is there are only six. Everything else is just a variation on a theme Granted, some of those variations feel incredible and it is certainly worth your while to experiment. There are only eighty-eight keys on a piano, but that doesn't mean people won't continue to create new and beautiful melodies with those same keys out eternity Couples typically use two to three positions during one lovemaking session, moving from one position to another before they finish. Nevertheless, I don't want you thinking that there is something wrong with you or your lover because you haven't had intercourse in fifty or sixty different ways. I am not suggesting you have to become a world-class gymnast in the bed room. You don't have to. While I do encourage variety in all forms in, of sexual intimacy, the purpose is to push back the boundaries of self-imposed limitations and find your ultimate pleasure.

POSITION I: FEMALE SUPERIOR

(WOMAN-ON-TOP)

In the female-superior position, you are on top during course, usually straddling him with the bulk of your weight distributed evenly between both of your knees. This can be done either facing him or facing away from him. Another variation on this position would he for you to squat over him with your feet flat on either side. Many women prefer the female-superior position because it allows for deeper penetration and allows you to control the speed of thrust since you are the person doing the thrusting. It also works

well if you are much taller than your man. However, this does require a lot more work on your part and, some say, "ski racers' quads."

Men tend to enjoy this position a lot because it provides them with a good look at your body. They love to see a woman's breasts move up and down with each thrust and see her hair falling or hitting them in the chest or face. Keep in mind that men are visual creatures and they love to watch. A male magazine editor from San Francisco says, "I knew this would be my favorite position from the time I saw a porn film when I was fourteen when this woman in a big skirt lowered herself onto a man. When my wife lowers herself onto me, it takes all my power not to shoot off right then." Men also like to see the expression on your face and know that you're having a good time while you're having sex. A homemaker from Omaha said, "My breasts are unbelievably sensitive, so the combination of me on top leaning forward, while my husband licks, sucks, and plays with my breasts, is a surefire winner."

On the other hand, the women who don't enjoy this position say that it's because they feel self-conscious about having their bodies exposed and in full view. If you don't feel particularly confident in the shape or tone of your body, it is understandable that you might feel uncomfortable about having it on display in this manner. But again, according to what men tell me, they are not looking at you with a critical eye at this time. Quite the contrary. Some men may be critical of women's bodies outside the bedroom, but during sex their women's bodies are beautiful to them. As a Seattle computer executive told me, "By the time I'm with a woman, I want to be intimate with her entire body."

Tightens vaginal entry

1. spot stimulation
   

   WOMAN-ON-TOP
   

   Tips
   

   • To increase the odds of coming during intercourse or coming with him, have your clitoris stimulated to the point where you feel orgasm is imminent, then get into the woman-superior position. If you thrust, there is a good chance you'll be able to reach orgasm with him inside of you.
     
   • Another way to increase the heat between you and your partner is to lower yourself onto him starting at the top of his head, moving your whole body down his body very slowly. Let him see, feel, and taste all of you as you make your way to his feet and then back up to his penis; then lower yourself onto his penis. He can also caress your derriere and guide your hips with his hands. You can reach back and play with his testicles.
     
   • Facing him gives you the advantage of being able to make eye contact during intercourse; also, he can be caressing your breasts at the same time you're thrusting.
     
   • While you're on top and facing him, try reaching back with your hands and gently play with his testicles, or try to softly pinch or kiss his nipples. Many men say that having their nipples stimulated drives them wild.
     

     Secret from Lou's Archives
     

     In the female-superior position, if you're worried about putting too much weight on his pelvis, lean into his chest (if you're facing him) or onto his thighs (if you're facing away).
     

   • If you're facing away from him, you will feel him against the front wall of your vagina (the G-spot zone).
     

1. • POSITION II: MALE SUPERIOR
     

     (MAN-ON-TOP)
     

     This position is the so-called missionary position, the most common position for making love. The woman lies on her back with the man lying over her or slightly to the side of her. Men like it because they can control the depth of penetration as well as the speed of the thrust, according to how far away from orgasm the\ are. Women like it because there is more body contact than in the other positions. While the other positions are perhaps considered more erotic, this one is the most romantic. Kissing and hugging are easily done in this position and many women say ii makes them feel safe and protected.
     

     Tips
     

   • When you're engaged in the male-superior position, there is also a way to involve more of your body than just the genital area. If you haven't tried The Madonna technique (see Chapter 5), you may find this one to be a lot of fun. What you do is sandwich his penis between your breasts. By lifting them up and together, you create a tunnel similar to the vagina. He'll thrust his penis between your breasts and orgasm right there on you. This is also known as "giving a woman a pearl necklace."
     
   • By maneuvering your hands between his legs, you can tenderly squeeze and release his testicles in rhythm to his thrusting. Some men have been known to describe this move as pure ecstasy
     

     

     Deepest G-spot penetration
     

     MAN-ON-TOP
     

     • Massage or insert your finger into his anus while he's thrusting; this has been known to send a man over the edge. (Remember to remove your finger slowly and gently.)
       
     • For men with very large penises, try lying with your legs flat against the bed; this will increase your tightness, as well as prevent him from penetrating too deeply
       
     • For more genital contact and penetration, wrap your legs around his hips, increasing your pelvic tilt.
       
     • You can give your partner the feeling of sucking him into you by exhaling deeply just before he enters you; then tighten your PC muscle and breathe in as he enters you.
       
     • Place your knees over his shoulders to increase penetration and stimulation of the back of the vaginal wall (G-spot territory).
       

       Secret from Lou's Archives
       

       One seminar attendee says she puts small ice cubes inside herself, then he enters her; her husband loves it!
       

1. • • POSITION III: SIDE-BY-SIDE
       

       For this position, the man and woman are on their sides with their legs entwined like scissors. You can be facing each other or he can be in back of you. The beauty of side-by-side is that most men can thrust for a long time in this position without climaxing. It provides couples the opportunity to make their intimate encounter last. And because penetration is not as deep in this position, women who have lovers with exceptionally large penises say that intercourse is more comfortable for them. Much like in the male-superior position, kissing and hugging are almost inevitable here. A forty-one-year-old male investment banker from London recalls this experience: "Our first time together we had gone camping and slept in a sleeping bag. I'm 6'3" and she's 5'6", so it's easier this way. As she says, sometimes, she can disappear underneath me." Perhaps the best thing about making love side-by-side, however, is that it is the one position that lends itself to falling asleep comfortably in each others' arms afterwards. A sixty-two-year-old award-winning actress says, "I love having my husband behind me. He kind of scoops me in towards him. He has a huge penis, which can sometimes hurt. This way he can have the head inside me and my thighs stimulate the rest of his shaft. After we're done, we fall asleep with him nestled behind me, one arm cupping my breast."
       

       Tips
       

   • With the man behind, he can also stimulate your clitoris.
     
   • Tightening your thighs can increase friction.
     
   • Rear entry in a side-to-side position can be good for pregnant women, as she will be able to support her abdomen and he can play with her, ahem, full breasts.
     

     

     SIDE-BY-SIDE