Her New Worst Enemy (18 page)

“I don’t know if I want children right now though, and she’s set on it. I’m used to
only taking care of myself and I guess I’m a bit selfish with my freedom.”

Penny nodded thoughtfully. “Well, only you can decide whether she’s worth giving up
your lifestyle for.”

He snorted. “My lifestyle. When you put it like that, it makes me sound like a total
dick.” He sighed and shook his head. “I think I’ve got a bit too used to keeping things
surface level. It’s a culture shock for me to even consider a serious relationship.
I’ve become a bit blinkered in my old age.” He gave her a wry smile.

“Haven’t we all. Look, I know she’s a pretty intense person and getting her to step
back and relax is virtually impossible, but if anyone can do it, it’s you.”

She smiled at him, and the lead weight he’d been carrying around in his chest lifted
a little.

“I wanted to ask you something,” he said, sitting up straighter in his seat.

“Fire away.”

“If I offered my house in the Cotswolds for your wedding reception, would you be interested
in using it?”

Penny raised her eyebrows in surprise.

“Are you serious? We’d love to get married there. We’re having real trouble finding
a suitable venue at such short notice and your house would be perfect for what we
had in mind.”

“I need to fill that place with happy memories before I can live in it again. I’ve
let my past take over my life for too long, and it’s time I exorcised it.”

“Well, we’d love to exorcise it for you.”

“Good.”

“We were hoping to get married pretty quickly, so I’m not too tired to enjoy it.”

“Not a problem, name your date.”

Penny nodded thoughtfully.

“I’ve asked Ellie to be my maid of honor. It might be a bit awkward if you two aren’t
talking.”

The thought of seeing her again made his insides clench, but he shoved the unease
away. They would have to face each other again at some point, and maybe doing it whilst
surrounded by distractions and a friendly crowd would be the perfect time. “I’m sure
we can be adults about it.”

Penny gave him another sad smile that he chose to ignore.

• • •

It was a week before Penny broke the news about the venue to Ellie.

“How very generous of him,” was all she managed to struggle out when she heard. Just
the mention of Gideon’s name tapped into the sinking feeling she’d been trying to
conquer for days now.

“Oh Ellie, you’re so mean about him. Why do you do that? He’s been nothing but nice
to you,” her friend chided, giving her a light, reprimanding tap on the arm.

“Nice. Yuck. I can’t stand the way he uses women, them casts them aside like litter.
He’s always done it. He can never stick with one woman; he’s convinced the grass is
greener in the next acre.”

“Why do you care so much?”

Ellie swallowed hard before answering. “It’s the principle, Penny. I hate playboys,
and he’s one of the worst I’ve ever met.”

“I know how you feel about him,” Penny said quietly.

“What do you mean? I don’t feel anything for him. Except annoyance.”

“Ellie … ” Penny gave her a withering look. “Don’t talk crap.”

“What do you mean?” Her heart raced at the realization her secret was out. Had Gideon
said something to her?

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. You and Gideon. You two are having a thing.
Am I right or am I right?”

“You’re not right, Penny.” Perhaps she could still bluff it out. Maybe her friend
was just taking a stab in the dark about a hunch she had. She didn’t want to burden
Penny with more of her angst right now and cast a shadow over her friend’s happiness.

“But you were, the weekend at the house. You two could barely tear your eyes away
from each other. And all those suggestive comments you both kept making. You didn’t
really think we wouldn’t notice, did you?”

Ellie was flummoxed. “I thought we were being discreet.”

Penny laughed. “Ellie, I didn’t think the word discretion was in your vocabulary.”

“Yeah, well, it’s over now,” she said, looking away from her friend’s concerned gaze
and trying to keep the pain out of her voice.

“Are you sure? I was only saying to Will today what a terrific couple you’d make.
You’re so funny together, and he’s a pretty good catch, Ellie.” She wiggled an eyebrow,
and Ellie gave her a reluctant smile.

Penny frowned at her lack of reaction to the joke. “What’s wrong? Did it end badly
or something?”

“You could say that. I had to take the morning after pill.” She stared down at her
hands and twisted them together in her lap as tears filled her eyes. Damn it. She’d
promised herself she wouldn’t cry over him again.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Penny asked, looking her in the eye.

“No. It’s time I moved on. He made it pretty clear he’s not interested in anything
serious. Anyway, I’ve decided it’s time to get back out there. I’m giving internet
dating a go.”

“I’d bet my inheritance you won’t be single for more than two weeks,” Penny said.

“You might regret placing that bet.” She rubbed a hand over her eyes to wipe away
the tears that clung to her lashes. “At least this whole thing with Gideon made me
realize what a lucky escape I had getting away from Paul. Trying to please him turned
me into a loony. I got obsessed with the idea that having a child with him would miraculously
turn him into a nicer person, but it would have been a disaster for everyone involved.”

“Yeah,” Penny said, putting a comforting hand on her arm. “It’s a shame things didn’t
work out for you and Gideon, but you never know, the man of your dreams might be at
the wedding.” She raised a speculative eyebrow.

“Yeah,” Ellie said, “maybe he will.”

In fact, she knew he would be. The wedding was going to be held in his house.

A month later Gideon stood in the grand hall to his home, watching as the teams of
caterers and florists busied about transforming his house into Penny and Will’s wedding
reception.

He liked the idea of the house filling with happy memories now, to banish the loneliness
and inadequacy he’d associated with the place when his grandparents still lived here.
It gave him a sense of satisfaction that he was now on the road to exorcising those
demons, and this wedding was going to be a huge step on the road to recovery.

He was so glad he could do this for the two of them. He liked Will. The time he’d
spent with him recently had been an eye-opener, and he was really pleased that he
and Penny had been able to work things out.

He sighed and rubbed a hand through his hair. If only he were able to work out his
own love life so successfully.

He hadn’t seen or heard from Ellie since he’d watched her speed away in the taxi and,
if he was totally honest with himself, he was nervous about seeing her today.

Penny had invited him as one of the guests to the wedding, but he’d declined to come
to the service out of respect for Ellie. He knew his presence there would be too disruptive
for her peace of mind when she was supposed to be focused entirely on Penny. He would
be at the reception though, and he was now in the process of mentally steeling himself
to see Ellie again.

Her words about him making a terrible father had rung in his ears for the last few
weeks until he thought he’d go crazy with it. He’d tried to dismiss the accusation,
telling himself she was angry when she said it and it wasn’t true, but deep down he
was afraid she was right.

It had occurred to him that he should just call up one of the women he’d dated recently
and take her to bed to obliterate the thought of Ellie, but he couldn’t do it. Not
only was he sure it would prove futile, but he couldn’t bring himself to use the other
woman in that way.

Ellie’s distain at his previous attitude to dating had worked its way into his head,
and he could almost feel her disgust at his idea, which transformed into disgust with
himself for even considering it.

She’d really done a number on him.

When he’d thought about it, it occurred to him that despite the wide circle of friends
he’d cultivated, he didn’t feel comfortable enough with any of them to talk about
what had happened. Not even Gareth. He’d kept himself so emotionally removed from
other people he’d completely isolated himself.

He realized with a shock that he was lonely. The time he’d spent with Ellie had opened
up a whole mess of feelings he’d been repressing for a very long time. Feelings he’d
been afraid of. But when it came to it, letting himself be happy with her had been
exactly what he needed to help him move on from the sadness that had plagued his life
up until now.

She’d challenged him and allowed him be himself and still hadn’t walked away, but
she didn’t trust him — not that he could blame her. He’d not given her any reason
to.

His total self-involvement up until now pretty much proved her right — but he didn’t
want to be that man. He wanted more than that, now he knew what it felt like to be
in love with someone. Because he was in love with her.

His heart squeezed in his chest as he finally allowed the truth to break into his
consciousness.

There was a commotion outside as the bridal party arrived. He mentally shook himself,
taking a deep breath and forcing the cascade of feelings into the dark recess of his
brain, as he made ready to receive them into his house as the gracious host. This
wasn’t the time to try to deal with the fall-out of his revelation.

Penny and Will were first through the door, and he moved forward to hug each of them
in turn and offer his congratulations, only looking up at the last second to see Ellie
standing on the doorstep, her hand closed tightly around the arm of a tall, blond
man who was looking down at her with a pathetically soppy smile on his annoyingly
handsome face.

• • •

Seeing Gideon standing in the doorway to his house, looking elegant and relaxed and
so devastatingly handsome in his perfectly tailored tux, was a lot harder than Ellie
had anticipated. Her heart raced so fast she thought she might pass out and had to
clutch on to her date’s arm to keep herself steady.

Even though they’d been seeing each other for two weeks now, she still wasn’t sure
if the chemistry was right between her and Toby. She’d dithered about inviting him
today but finally decided to go for it in the hope that something would finally click.
And perhaps he’d help shield her from the nerve-wracking panic of having to act normally
around Gideon.

On paper Toby had everything she wanted; he was charming, smart, attentive, not bad
on the eye, and most importantly, he was looking to settle down and have children.
She should have been delighted to be dating him, but there was something missing.

She was so nervous about walking back in to the manor house and seeing Gideon, she
hung on to Toby’s arm for dear life, barely registering his bemused smile as she shook
in her ludicrously high heels next to him.

After an uncomfortable pause, Gideon moved forward and kissed her lightly on the cheek
and she thought her heart might explode in her chest as his familiar spicy scent assaulted
her senses.

“Ellie, you look beautiful.” His deep voice reverberated around her head.

Keep it together, Ellie.

She took a deep, steadying breath as she pulled away from him, determined not to let
her insecurity and pain show on her face.

“This is Toby,” she said, gesturing toward her companion and saw a flash of something
unreadable on Gideon’s face before he turned to give her date a cool, welcoming smile.
She tried to decipher his reaction. Was it anger? Disapproval? Jealousy? Something
flipped in her belly at the thought.

“A pleasure to meet you, Toby,” Gideon said, holding out a steady hand, which Toby
shook firmly. “Welcoming drinks are in the drawing room,” he said, nodding to one
of the many doors that led off the entrance hall.

“Thanks,” Toby replied, giving Gideon a dazzling smile before dragging Ellie off with
him to the door he’d been directed to. “So that’s the guy who’s turned you into a
nervous wreck,” he whispered, giving her a stoic smile.

Ellie stared at him, flabbergasted, before pulling herself together. “How did you
know?”

Toby shrugged. “That was quite a grip he had, and you’ve been jittery all day. I figured
an ex-boyfriend would make an appearance at some point.”

Ellie nearly corrected him before stopping herself. There wasn’t any point. After
he’d been so sweet to her, she couldn’t in all good conscience string him along now.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I was hoping I wouldn’t bump into him. I wanted
to forget … ” Her voice broke before she could finish her sentence, and Toby put an
arm around her and pulled her close, allowing her to fold into his body.

“Hey, it okay,” he said against the top of her head. “I knew this probably wasn’t
going anywhere.”

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I thought I’d be okay, but I’m really not. I feel awful. You’re
such a nice guy, but I don’t think it’s going to work out. I can’t believe I’m saying
this at the start of the evening.”

“Ah, don’t sweat it. I can’t say I’m not disappointed, but it’s better to know now
if there’s no life in this. Hey, at least we’re surrounded by free booze.”

Ellie laughed into his shoulder. “I can’t believe I’m letting you go. Whoever gets
you is going to be one lucky lady.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“No hard feelings?”

“None. As long as you point me in the direction of the nearest single bridesmaid,”
he said with a grin.

After introducing Toby to a few people, Ellie tried hard to concentrate on the conversations
going on around her and stop herself from wondering where Gideon was. She was hating
every minute of this. Not the wedding, per se, but the feeling of being in some sort
of haunted house where Gideon was the phantom and she had no idea where or when he
might pop up.