Her New Worst Enemy (16 page)

Her throat constricted and the low ache that had plagued her for the entire week intensified
until her whole body jumped with nerves.

“Hey, Ellie,” he said as his gaze dropped from her face, down her body to her shoes.
“Going out?”

She shifted her feet, wondering if she’d overdone it with the outfit and crossed the
line from sexy into tarty.

“You look gorgeous,” he said, his voice deep and low and his pupils large.

Relief washed though her. Not tarty then.

“Where have you been?” she asked before she could check herself. He was right; subtlety
really wasn’t one of her strengths.

“Scotland. I had some business there.”

“Oh. Right,” she said, nodding stupidly.

Gideon’s mouth twitched at the corner, his expression bemused. “Can I come in? I’ve
got something to tell you.”

“Yes, of course,” she said, backing up to let him in to the hallway. As she led him
into her tiny living room, her heart raced with excitement. Was he going to suggest
they carry on with their affair? Her insides were a jumble of apprehension and longing.
It would be typical for him to mix her up again just when she’d convinced herself
she was better off finding someone who was interested in settling down and having
a grown-up relationship.

What would she say to him if he made the suggestion? She had no idea how she’d deal
with it. Could she consider a future with Gideon, or would she be foolish to even
think he’d be interested in anything long-term?

He sat down on her sofa, pulling a magazine and a dirty plate out from under him and
cocking an eyebrow at her untidiness, before tossing them onto the coffee table.

Ellie sat down opposite him in her big squashy armchair, kicking her shoes off and
drawing her feet up, tucking them under her. She waited for him to speak, her hands
shaking in her lap.

“I found Will,” he said, and she blinked at him slowly, trying to process what he
was saying. “He was staying with a friend in Edinburgh,” Gideon continued, oblivious
to the churning disappointment going on inside her. “We talked and I think I convinced
him to come back and give it another try with Penny. He’s a good guy, Ellie — he’s
got some issues to deal with, but I think he really loves her.”

He waited for a response, his expression going from expectation to confusion. “That’s
what you wanted, right? For them to give it another go.”

“Yes, yes … ” she blurted, nodding and giving him a weak smile, trying to appear pleased.

Gideon frowned at her. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, his gaze raking her face.

“Of course,” she answered, her words sounding over-bright to her ears. Despite being
happy to hear the good news about Will and Penny, a hard lump began to form in her
throat as she realized he wasn’t here to continue their affair, and she had trouble
swallowing it down. Hot tears burned in the back of her eyes, but she refused to let
them come in front of him.

It was good he wasn’t here for her, she tried to convince herself. She needed to move
on from this. From him.

“That’s great, Gideon. Penny will be over the moon,” she managed to struggle out.

“Yeah, well, I wanted to let you know so you can stop beating yourself up about it.”

“Thank you.” She gave him a confident smile, blinking the tears back rapidly.

Silence filled the room as they looked at each other.

“So,” Gideon said, breaking the uneasy atmosphere that had fallen between them. “I’d
better leave and let you go out.”

Ellie nodded and forced a smile, but all the while, a voice in her head screamed at
her to stop him. To do whatever it took to prevent him from walking out of the door,
because she was pretty damn sure this would be her one and only chance.

He got up and strode toward the living room door as the internal battle raged in her
head. Five more seconds and he would be gone. She stood up, too, and followed him
toward the door.

As he turned to look at her, she felt a lurch of sadness to see that his eyes were
hard and his expression closed.

“Think you’ll find your future husband tonight?” he asked, a rough edge to his voice.
He quirked an eyebrow to show her he was joking, but his words fell flat and her stomach
plummeted to her knees as the last drop of excitement she’d felt earlier drained out
of her.

• • •

Gideon groaned inside and almost punched the wall in frustration at the idiocy of
his question. What a stupid thing to say to her. What the hell had compelled him?

He knew, of course, what it was.

As soon as she’d opened the door and stood there looking up at him with those big,
blue eyes, he knew he’d made a mistake coming here. He should have done this over
the phone. That way he wouldn’t have had to see those long curvaceous legs or her
high full breasts that fitted so neatly into her low-necked top. He wouldn’t have
had her intoxicating, sweet-honey smell in his nostrils or the low, dark pull of longing
in his chest.

At the time, he’d thought their bargain to end the fling when they left the house
was a good one, but for the last week he’d felt so frustrated being away from her
he was almost convinced he was going insane.

He wanted her so much. He needed to be inside her again. He missed being with her.

Ellie looked back at him with a questioning frown. Her mouth parted for a second,
and he saw the flick of her tongue against her teeth and he totally lost it.

Striding forward, he pushed her back against the wall, his body hard against hers,
and brought his lips down to hers, forcing them open so he could slip his tongue into
her sweet mouth.

He threaded his fingers into her hair, grabbing fistfuls of it and holding her head
still so he could kiss her more thoroughly.

She wriggled against him, her firm breasts pushed up hard against his chest, and kissed
him back.

At the moment he’d moved toward her he hadn’t stopped to wonder what her reaction
would be — hadn’t even cared — but an intense excitement pounded through him as she
kissed him back furiously, matching his passion and need.

She smelled so good, felt so soft and hot against him, he lost himself in the moment,
not allowing his usually analytical brain to question his actions.

Her hands were on his belt, fumbling with the buckle and he knocked them away in his
haste to release himself from his clothing.

Ellie’s hands flew to his face, cupping his jaw and stroking her thumbs over his cheeks
possessively as her lips savaged his. Her breath came quickly, heating his skin, and
she made a low growling sound in the back of her throat sending his senses into overdrive.

Finally free of his clothing, he pushed his hands roughly up between her legs, under
her skirt, yanking her panties aside to find the damp warmth he knew would be waiting
for him. His fingers slipped inside her and she let out another loud groan against
his lips.

“Please,” she whispered pushing herself harder against him. “Please … ”

After what had felt like the longest week of his life, trying not to think about her,
trying not to remember, he’d had enough. She was so wet against his hand, the promise
of her hot tightness around him was too much, and he pulled his fingers out of her,
lifted her leg under her knee and pushed his cock hard inside her. He slipped up to
the hilt easily, her body as desperate for him as his was for her, and he took out
his frustration on her, pounding her with his need and his absolute desperation for
her.

She felt so good around him.

His thrusts lifted her higher up the wall and she wrapped her legs around his back
tipping her pelvis for maximum friction against him.

They moved together, hard and fast, grinding themselves together, trying to get deeper,
tighter, closer.

Her nails dug into the flesh of his shoulders and her body tensed as she climaxed,
shouting out his name as she tipped into oblivion.

He couldn’t hold on any longer and gave in to an orgasm that wracked his body, forcing
his eyes shut as a tide of sensation rushed through him, the intensity of it leaving
him weak and shaky.

They held onto each other tightly, both still coming down from their climaxes, their
breathing quick and ragged.

Gideon buried his face into her hair, leaning into the wall to keep them both upright.
After a few moments, his strength returned, and he loosened his hold on her and felt
her legs unwrap from around his waist.

Moving back gently, he allowed her to slip down off him and she placed her feet back
on the floor and released her grip around his arms.

He went to pull the condom off and froze.

It wasn’t there.

What the hell? Had it come off inside her?

But he knew it hadn’t. He knew what the heavy sinking in his gut meant.

He’d forgotten to use a condom. For the first time ever.

“Ellie?” he said, trying to keep the panic out of his voice.

She frowned at him, obviously aware of his anxiety, despite his attempts to hide it.
“What is it?”

“You’re on the pill, right?” he said, clinging on to the hope that it would all be
fine and they wouldn’t need to deal with this right now.

“No,” she said, “I stopped taking it when Paul left.” Her eyes flicked uncertainly
between his, her expression questioning, before the meaning of what he’d asked hit
her and turned momentarily to shock before relaxing into derision.

“You forgot?”

“
We
forgot,” he said, moving fully away from her now and pulling on his trousers. “I
seem to remember you being part of this, too.”

He turned away from her and ran a hand across his eyes, battling with a sudden rush
of anger.

“Don’t worry, I don’t have anything nasty. I got myself tested after I found out Paul
had cheated on me, and you’re the only person I’ve been with since.”

Gideon didn’t reply, still battling to contain the rising panic that made his stomach
nauseous and his veins feel like they were filled with fire.

“I’m guessing you’ve been careful, too?” Ellie asked quietly behind him, her voice
now small and strained.

“I always use a condom,” he said, fighting to keep his voice level.

She snorted. “Not always.”

He spun round to face her, his heart racing like a snare drum. “You have to take care
of it, Ellie. I can’t have any … ” he struggled for a word big enough to sum up the
potential life-altering catastrophe but couldn’t find one, “mistakes.”

Her eyes immediately lost their amused twinkle and her expression closed over. “I’ll
take care of it,” she said, her voice now hard.

“You have to, Ellie, we can’t take any risks.”

“I said okay, Gideon,” she practically hissed at him, her face contorted with hurt
and anger.

“Look, I’m sorry, but having a kid right now would be … ” he paused, unsure how to
kindly put into words the utter chaos that would befall them if she did get pregnant.
The idea terrified him. He would lose everything he’d so painstakingly built over
the years: his lifestyle, his freedom, his peace of mind …

Ellie pushed herself away from the wall and advanced toward him, her body tense with
fury. “You think I’d try to trap you, Gideon?”

He thought back to the pain on her face as she talked about Paul’s new girlfriend
being pregnant and the look of jealous longing when she found out Penny was going
to have a child. He knew she wanted children of her own and that she thought she was
running out of time. “I don’t know,” he said, desperately trying to gather himself
and slam a lid on the whirlwind of confusion that made rational thought impossible.
He hadn’t planned for any of this and he felt like things were spinning away from
him now. He was losing control. He stepped back toward the door to the hallway as
she advanced on him, her eyes narrowed in anger.

“Do you really think I’d want to have a kid with someone like you?” Her voice shook
with rage. “I feel sorry for all those girls who started a relationship with you with
the impression that something more could develop. Little did they know. You’re not
in it for the long term, just a quick fix and time to move on to the next one.” She
was clenching and unclenching her hands at her side in agitation. “Because you’re
a coward, Gideon. And you know what? Each time you trade up, they’re going to get
just a little bit younger.” She pointed a shaking finger at him now. “You do realize
that you’re going to end up a pitiful, letchy fifty-year-old trying to date twenty-year-olds?
That’s sad, Gideon, really sad. And pathetic.”

The growing panic transformed into a white-hot rage, pounding through his veins as
the cruelty of her words sank in. He looked down at her as she stared defiantly back
at him and felt nothing but cold, hard anger.

“I’m not surprised Paul left you if this is what he had to put up with,” he said as
the anger overtook him and he gave in to it, shoving away a niggle of shame as the
words left his mouth.

Her stunned expression told him he’d hit his mark, and her eyes welled with angry
tears. “Get out,” she shouted, pushing him hard away from her.

He stumbled backward from the force of the shove, smashing his hip against the doorframe.
An unnerving calm overtook him, and he turned and walked away from her quickly, before
he did something stupid, slamming the front door hard behind him.

• • •

Ellie stood in the now silent room, with the sound of her anger reverberating around
her head. How dare he accuse her of plotting to do something so … low. Hot tears of
rage and disappointment sprang to her eyes, and she let them fall heavily onto her
cheeks and drip down onto her top.

She’d felt such elation when he’d stormed forward to kiss her, was so relieved to
see he was caught in the same desperate need to be with her again. But that’s still
all it was to him. Sex.

His hysterical reaction to forgetting the condom had proved he wasn’t interested in
a real relationship with her. It wasn’t as if she didn’t expect him to be worried
about her getting pregnant — they’d only been having sex for a short time after all
— and in an ideal world they’d probably have worked up to talking about having children
if he’d been serious about her. But he’d been angry about it, as if she’d planned
the whole thing and deliberately tried to catch him out.