My head is pounding. I keep burping beer. And my stomach is queasy as queasy can get. I may have just completely killed my party liver. There’s gonna be nothing left for when I actually do make it to college. I’m gonna be the one with a bottled water while all my friends are doing keg stands and dong bongs—a beer bong in the shape of a … well … dong. I saw it once on a documentary.
“This had to be Steph’s pick,” Alex says when we pull onto campus.
Keesh kicks the back of his seat. “I resent that. What? Meg and I can’t do without guys?”
Alex doesn’t answer. He just laughs. He’s right on the money though. Steph is the only one I’d know who’d choose to go to a male-free school. For four years. That’s just nuts.
“I feel kind of weird going to a Catholic school with a hangover,” Keesh says as she steps out of the van.
“I’m sure you’ll be okay. Just dodge the lightning bolt if you need to,” Steph tells her.
I pull my sunglasses down over my eyes. “Hey, are you guys allowed to walk around with us?”
Dom and Alex glance at each other, then shrug.
“Yeah, it’s okay,” Steph says. It’s not like it’s a convent. Boys can visit. “Let’s go.”
It doesn’t take us long to tour the campus. Now,
this
one is like our high school. It’s really small compared to the others we visited in the last few days. I know it’s not for me, but something tells me Steph is in love with it. I can really see her here. It’s quiet and cozy. Just like Steph when she’s in school mode. Keesh and I wouldn’t make a good fit. I can see us cracking like a nut after a week of living here. We like to be where the action is. And during our brief tour, I have seen very little action.
“So that’s it, girls.” Dom peeks back at us. “College road trip has come to an end. Hope you guys figured out what you want.”
“Thanks, Dominic,” I say. “I really appreciate you volunteering to chauffeur us up and down the state. It helped clear up a lot of things for me.”
“Like Santa Cruz?” Alex smiles.
“Yeah, like I don’t want to go to a beach campus. I’m more of inland-no-sand-in-my-ass kind of girl.”
“So did you rank ‘em, babe?” he asks Steph.
“Kind of. If I get in, I have to go to Berkeley.”
Alex turns to her. “Really?” He smiles.
“Yeah. Definitely. How can you pass that up? I’d be insane if I did.”
“But …” Dom says.
“I like the idea of the all-girls campus.”
“How about you, Keesh?” Steph asks.
“I doubt I’d get into Berkeley with my shitty freshman grades. Other than that, I really liked San Jose. It wasn’t even on my list, but it stood out to me.”
“Meg?” Alex asks.
“I liked them all. I don’t know how I’m going to decide.”
Chapter 17
“Are you sure you don’t want to go, Mom? Dad?”
“We’re sure. You two go and enjoy yourselves. Tell Ben we’re very proud of him and we’ll see him tomorrow,” Dad says.
“Here, take these.” My mom stuffs a travel pack of tissues in my hand. “I know you.”
A quick glance at Alex’s face tells me he agrees. “Do you have more? She’ll probably need them,” he says.
“Ha. Ha. You two are very funny.”
“You better get moving. No telling how traffic is going to be,” Dad says.
We say our farewells and just minutes later, we’re cruising down Interstate 15 toward San Diego.
“You know, I don’t want to take another long car ride for a year at least. I can feel my ass getting squished and wider as we speak.”
Alex wiggles his brows. “Really?” He reaches his hand out. “Can I feel too?”
“You’re quite the jokester, today. Aren’t you?”
“Just trying to keep up with you.” He winks.
“Keep trying.”
He takes my hand in his as I sing along with the tunes blasting through the speakers. Every once in a while, he joins in with the chorus. I look over at him and wonder if this is what it’ll be like in twenty years. Will we still be holding hands? Still be singing off key to the music but having fun while we’re doing it? But never once do I wonder if it will be him beside me.
I glance his way again, this time lingering a bit with satisfaction. This guy is one hot piece of male.
He’s gotten older, obviously. But in the last year, he actually looks it. His features have sharpened. His jawline. It seems more defined, stronger, edgier. He’s filled out too. He’s never been skinny or lanky like other boys I know, but now … he’s a pure hunk of muscle. And I could just eat him for breakfast.
“Why are you staring at me?” he asks. “Do I have a bat in the cave or something?” He swipes at his nose with the back of his knuckles.
“No, you don’t have a booger hanging out. Dork.”
“Then what?” He breathes into the palm of his hand and sniffs. “I brushed my teeth.”
“No, your breath is fine.” I take a pretend whiff in his direction. “Wait. Maybe not.”
His expression flashes a look of horror.
“Just kidding. You’re fine.”
“Okay. Then what?” He reaches over and pats my thigh.
“I was just … admiring you.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. You look different. Like a man.”
“What’d I look like before?”
I smile. “A boy.” He raises a brow at me. “A really good looking boy, though.”
“And I’m not a good looking man?”
“No.”
“No?” There goes that look of horror again, only this time with a side of flirt.
“Not just good looking. More like an eat-you-up-like-a-sexy-pop hot.”
“A sexypop?”
I chuckle at hearing him say it aloud. “Like a lollipop.”
“You don’t
eat
a lollipop.”
“Right. So I’ll lick you up then.”
“And down?”
“And all around,” the words slide out of my mouth.
He shifts in his seat, and the car swerves. “Think Ben will mind if we’re late?”
Good one. I laugh again. “I’d mind, sexy man. Just keep driving. Preferably straight.” I can’t stop smiling at him. “You can be my sexypop tonight.”
“Anytime, babe. Anytime.”
We made it. In just a few hours, we’ll be able to see Ben. I’m worried. I wonder if he’ll be different. Will he be all proper now? Standing straight and saying
yes ma’am
or
yes sir
to everything? Staring out the window, I start working double time on filing my thumbnail with my bottom teeth.
“Relax, Megan.”
“Maybe we
should’ve
stopped. The waiting is gonna kill me.”
“He’ll be here soon enough.”
No. Not soon enough. It’s been twelve long weeks. Without Alex. And without Ben. I got one of my guys back. The wait for the other has my insides all mashed up like they’ve been run through a blender.
“Let’s talk about the trip,” Alex says. “I had a good time. You?”
I don’t want to talk about colleges. We just got back yesterday. We’ve said everything there is to say. But I know he’s trying to distract me. “Hey, what’s up with you calling me your girlfriend?” That’s one we haven’t talked about.
“When?”
“In Davis. When you asked that bimbo to give us a tour.”
“Oh.” He combs his fingers through his hair. “I just didn’t want her to think I was available.”
“You’re not?”
He takes hold of my hand, squeezing it at first, and then tracing circles in my palm with his thumb. “No. I’m not.”
“Really?” What does that mean? He’s not available. Is he thinking of me? Is there someone else?
His releases my hand and his fingertips graze my cheek. “Hey. I’m not available to anyone but you, Megan. Wipe that worried look off your face. I’m yours, baby. Whenever you’re ready, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
My eyes are glued to his when the buzz of my phone breaks my stare.
“Go ahead. Get it.”
I reach for my bag, and take out my cell.
“Oh my god.” Tears fill my eyes. “The baby is here. Mrs. Gelson. She had her baby.” I hold out my phone for him to see the picture Travis just sent.
“Cool.”
“She’s cute, isn’t she?” I mumble, while wiping my eyes.
“Told your mom you were gonna need more than one pack of tissue.” I punch him in the arm. “When is Mrs. Fuller’s baby coming?”
“Christmas break. How fun for them. I hope me and the girls get prego at the same time.”
“In about five, ten years, maybe. Right?” He looks worried.
“Yes. I only want you to be my
lick-stick
right now, remember? Not my baby daddy.”
To this, he throws his head back with a big belly laugh. “Lick stick, Meggie? Really?”
“How are we supposed to know which one he is?” I ask. “They all look the same.”
“We’ll know when we see him,” Ben’s mother says. “They all look very handsome, don’t they?”
We stand for the National Anthem. The lyrics form on my lips as the band plays the song. When it’s over and we’re seated again, my eyes scan the perfectly straight rows of men looking for my friend in a sea of Marines all dressed in the same khaki colored dress shirt, and blue slacks. The band plays as I continue to search.
“Find him yet?” Alex asks.
“You’ll know when I do.”
We watch as a Marine—who I assume is someone special because there’s a red pinstripe going the down the side of each of his pant legs—grunts out a bunch of stuff I can’t make sense of. I’m assuming these jarheads know what he’s saying but I sure don’t. And they don’t even flinch, sway, or move a centimeter while he calls out to them. It’s amazing to me how still they can be on their feet, their right hands up in a salute, while everything goes on around them.
Through a P.A. system, an officer tells us about this group of graduating Marines. There are 428, ninety-nine percent are high school graduates, and nine are college grads. The booming voice thanks the parents for giving up a part of their families to protect this great country. I look over at Ben’s mom. She nods with a smile on her face. His dad is beaming with pride.
“Good morning, Marines!” he shouts.
Then, I’m assuming they say good morning back, but I can’t quite make out the words. The crowd cheers in response.
The voice goes on to talk about the changes we’ll see in these new Marines. I laugh aloud when he says they’ll all wear their pants where they belong now—around their waist and with a belt. Maybe the rest of the guys at my school should enlist.
“I still don’t see him,” I say.
“Neither do I,” his mom says. “If he asks, we’ll just tell him we had our eyes zoomed in on him from the moment he marched in.”
We all chuckle at her joke.
At one point, the spokesperson asks all Marines in attendance to rise. Near us, an older gentlemen stands, wearing a red ball cap that reads, “USMC Veteran” in gold lettering. His legs are a little wobbly as he raises a shaky hand to a salute, but the hardened look on his face is sheer determination. A young woman sitting next to him has tears gliding slowly down her cheeks.
“Is he your dad?” I ask.
She dabs at her eyes with a tissue. “Yes. We’re all here,” she gestures to the people next to her, “to see my friend who’s graduating today. Me, him, and his girlfriend have been friends since the fourth grade.”
“Wow, that’s a long time.” I think of Keesh and smile.
“My dad is a Vietnam vet so things like this always get emotional for us.” She reaches out to steady her father as he sits.
He glances over at me, and I tell him, “Thank you, sir, for your years of service. It’s an honor to be here with you today.”
He nods with a gleam of pride in his eyes. “You’re very welcome.”
The band begins to play again and this time the bad ass mother fuckers— as I’ve been instructed to call them because they are never to be referred to as soldiers—begin marching.
“Oh, cool. It looks like they’re gonna come right in front of us.” I sit up a little straighter, hoping to catch a glimpse of Ben as he passes.
We observe as each platoon goes by in step with each other. How they manage to stay together in stride is impressive.
“Did you hear that?” she asks, after a number is called. “That’s his platoon. He’s in this group.”
“I see him,” Alex says, pointing toward the guys. “He’s in,” he counts, “the fourth row in the center, closest to us.”
And sure enough, there he is … facing forward, straight-faced, and he doesn’t even blink. The seriousness of his expression is new to me, but that’s definitely his profile. He looks thinner, and more tan. A little bulkier on top.