“Eww. You’re gross.” Keesh smacks me with her shin guard. “Besides, what do you know about sac jam?”
“You’re calling Meggie gross, you just said sac jam.” Andi crunches up her nose in disgust.
“What’s sac jam?” Josh says as he pulls up some grass next to us.
Travis sits next to Andi. “Should I be worried? These two filling your head with trash again?”
“Us?” I feign innocence. “Your girl is the one who’s pickin’ her toe jam right in front of us. I had to look away or I was gonna vomit.”
Andi tosses one of her cleats at me. “Dude, really?”
I toss it back. “Sorry, girl, but little miss innocent, you’re not.”
“You got that right,” Trav says, nuzzling his face in Andi’s neck. “Ooo, babe, you’re nice and sweaty.”
“Stanky is more like it,” Josh says. “You girls reek more than my team does after a game.” He waves his hand in front of his face.
“Stinky, huh?” I tell him. “C’mere. Want some of this?” I tackle him and put my arm pit in his face. He’s like a rollie-pollie on his back, wiggling back and forth, trying to get up.
Keesh joins me, sitting on his chest. “How about some sweaty ass all over you?”
“Been there, done that,” he says, slapping her on the backside.
She whips her head around to stare him down. He pauses for a second waiting for more from her, but then he starts cracking up.
“Oh, you’re gonna get it now,” I tell him.
“Ladies,” our coach yells. “The teams are posted.”
We all jump to our feet and head to the gym. Girls are already walking away as we get there, some looking thrilled, some not. There were more girls trying out than spots this year, so by the slouch of their shoulders and droopiness of their eyes, I’m guessing some of these girls didn’t make it. It would totally suck ass if I went over there, looked for my name, and it wasn’t there.
Suddenly, I don’t want to look. Maybe I didn’t make the team. Wouldn’t that just suck!
Chapter 14
“Mom, do you know where my Berkeley hoodie is?” I yell from my room, knowing she’s somewhere in the house and hoping she can hear me. Even better, I hope she knows where my prized possession is because, shockingly, I can’t find it.
I continue to gather a few things, shoving them in my soccer duffle. I had to spray the thing with a can of Febreze after today’s game so it wouldn’t stink up my clean clothes. Who knew that after only a week’s of practices and games, my life would come to killer calculus and smelly soccer gear? Someone should really come up with scented shin guards. Or maybe, I shouldn’t put the things to my nose for a disgusting whiff. Andi’s reek the worst. How her teeny body puts off the most rancid odor is unbelievable.
My mom comes through the door with armfuls of laundry. “It’s probably in this load that you so nicely left in the dryer.” She drops it on my bed.
I pick through the pile and hold up my navy sweatshirt. “Here it is.” I bring it up to my lips for a goofy kiss.
“You’re silly.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“You guys have been playing really well. I hated missing your game today. How was it?”
“Good.” So good, my thighs hurt like hell and so do my ribs. This chick I was covering kept digging her elbow into my side. She stopped when I told her I was going to punch her in the cooch if she didn’t knock it off. “We won. Keesh scored every goal. Like always. I stopped a few.”
“How about Andi?”
“She looked cute.” Which is my way of saying she sat on the bench. She made varsity but she isn’t getting much playing time. “She put her hair up in pig tails.”
“Only she could pull that off,” she says as she plops herself down at my desk, swiveling the chair from side to side. “You almost done packing?”
“Getting there.” I sift through my laundry wondering what else I missed. “I’m so excited I’ll probably forget something.”
“You excited about seeing colleges, or seeing Alex?”
“Both.”
“I bet. You know, I think it’s time we had a serious talk.” Her tone has changed and I can tell she means business. However, I’m not interested in the talk I think she’s suggesting. I’ve had enough sex talk with everything that happened with Amy and Eric to last me a lifetime. I know how it all works. More importantly, I know what happens when you don’t take precautions.
“Do we have to?”
“Yes. Sit.” She gestures to my butterfly-winged chair in the corner of my room. “I’ve waited long enough and you’re not going to spend five days with Alex without me saying what I need to. And if you can’t talk about it, then you shouldn’t be doing it.”
With a sigh, I drop into my purple chair. “Shoot.”
“I’m not so naive that I don’t think you know about the birds and the bees so I won’t get into the details. I just want to make sure you know enough to keep yourself safe.” She pauses, true concern in her eyes.
“Mom, you don’t have to be worried about me.”
“I’m not. For some reason, I don’t think you’ve actually had sex yet. It’s just a feeling. But, for some other reason, I have a feeling the time is getting close, and I just want to be sure you understand that having sex changes so much in your life.”
I know what she’s getting at. I’m tempted to tell her I’ve had lots of wild and crazy sex just to torture her, but I’ll put her at ease. What a good daughter I am. “You’re right. I’m just as much a virgin today as I was the day I was born.”
She raises her hand, pressing it over her heart. “Whew,” she sighs again. “I’m good, huh.” We both chuckle a bit. “Okay, back to the point. You’re getting older, and I’m sure every time you see Alex, things are getting a little more intense. He’s older too, and while I don’t think he’d ever pressure you to do anything you don’t want to do, I also know that young man of yours makes you melt like a stick of butter every time he looks at you.”
“Mom!” Is she trying to kill me?
“Relax, Meg. I was young once and your dad was even sexier than Alex was in his day. That man could make me do anything with the rise of his brow.” She fans herself with a sly grin.
“Thanks for the visual.” I don’t know if I should walk out or throw up. Both sound pretty good right about now.
“Okay, Saint Megan. Just in case, I put a box of condoms under your bed. Take them with you on your trip. Just in case. I’m not saying I want you to do it. I’d be more than thrilled if you waited till you guys were married for at least five years before you went there. But I’m not stupid either. I just don’t want you to get yourself into a situation where you have to make some really tough choices because you weren’t prepared.”
“Uh.” What do I say to that? “Thanks, I guess.”
“I can tell you’re uncomfortable with this conversation, but you have to be able to talk about it. Being able to discuss sex with me or with your partner is part of being mature enough to handle the physical part, and the emotional, that come along with being intimate.”
“Yeah, I get it.” I’ll say anything to stop here from saying more.
No such luck. “Then, when you can talk about it, you move on. You should be free enough to explore each other’s bodies without being embarrassed. That’s part of protecting yourself. If you’re too afraid to look at him downtown and make sure nothing is infected, then you’re not ready for him to be down south on you either.”
Holy mother of God. Is she serious? “Mom!”
“And then if you decide to follow through, you need to make sure he puts the condom on. Look. Double check. Don’t take his word for it.”
“Mom! Stop! Please.”
“This is serious, Megan. One little misstep and your life is changed forever.”
“Believe me, I know.”
More than you think
.
“What do you mean?” Oh shit. Did I just say that last part aloud. “Did something already happen? I thought you said you were a virgin?” Guilt must register on my face. “Megan. What happened?” She leans forward. “You know you can tell me anything.”
And I do. I know I can share anything with her. She’s just that type of mom. Kind, understanding, loving.
“Nothing happened.” Her crumpled brows show all the worry. I can’t do this to her. I can’t lie. “Not to me, anyway.”
“Keesh? Steph? Are they okay?”
“No.” I’m really going to do this. “Amy.”
Now, she’s confused. She backs away, sitting straight up. And then, I tell her what happened with Amy and my part in holding her hand.
Tears slowly trace my mom’s cheeks. Lips pursed, hands clasped together as she listens.
“You know you could have come to me.”
I nod.
“Amy can come to me too, if she needs anything. Just because it’s been months doesn’t mean she’s okay. You tell her I’m here for her.”
“I will. Thanks.”
“So you’ll take the stash of condoms with you?”
“Yes. But I doubt I’ll need them. I’m not there yet. And I’m pretty sure Alex is scared dad will whip out his gun and shoot him.”
My mom laughs. “That never gets old. I’ll be laughing twenty years from now.”
“Yeah, I don’t think Alex thinks it’s very funny.”
“Good.” She stands and comes to my side. Cupping my chin in her soft hand, she says, “I’m glad you’re waiting till you’re sure. There’s no point in rushing it. If you ever need to talk, I’m here.”
“I know.”
“Knowing and actually coming to me are two different things.” She drops her hand but still peers down at me.
“Believe me, Mom. I’ll be talking your ear off when I need to.”
“Okay. Don’t forget to pack your hoodie, and the latex.”
“Nice way to slide that in there.”
“That’s what she said.”
“Oh my god. I can’t believe you just said that.”
“There’s more where that came from.” She chuckles.
“Now, that’s what I’m afraid of.”
“Vegas, baby!” I shout as we pull onto the freeway.
Steph turns around, staring at me with confusion. “Vegas?”
I chuckle. “Yeah. I’ve always wanted to say that.”
She shakes her head. “But we’re not going to Las Vegas.”
I roll my eyes. “Fine.” I thrust my head and half my body out of the window, wind blowing in my hair, and yell, “Berkeley, baby!”
Keesh smacks my tush. “I’m surprised you’re not yelling ‘Alex, baby’!”
“Oh, I will be. I’ll save that for tonight. But it’ll be more like a whisper. I wouldn’t want to wake you guys up.” I flash a dramatic wink her way.
Dom shakes his head this time. “What did I get myself into? This is gonna be one long ass drive.”
Steph pokes him in his side. “Oh, you’re loving it.”
He steals a glance at her with a sweet grin. “I love
you
. There’s a difference.”
“Aww.” Keesh lets out a dreamy sigh. “And you guys thought you’d be able to break up and stay away from each other. How long did that last?”
“Not even a week,” I tease.
Steph whips herself around again, this time staring me down. “It was months actually. And like you’re one to talk. How long did you and Alex last? Two weeks? Or two days?”
My friends laugh at my expense.
“Hey, we’re not back together.”
To my surprise, Dominic chimes in next. “Whatever.”
“Who invited him again?” I joke.
“You wanna walk?” He eyeballs me in his mirror with a goofy smile.
“Nah, make fun of me all you want. I can hang.”
Then, I take out my phone and start tapping away, updating my status on all my social media sites.
Our college road trip has officially started. Watch out peeps, here comes the double threat crew.
Driving straight through to Berkeley with one restroom break has taken a toll on my bladder.
When we make it up the stairs to Alex’s apartment, I slap a quick peck on his cheek and ask him to point me in the direction of the facilities before I piss all over his floor. I can hear my friends snicker as I do the pee-pee dance all the way down the hall till the door is closed.
“I told her not to get a Double Big Gulp sized Slurpee at the last stop.”
“I can hear you,” I shout to Dominic.
“Yeah, but you don’t listen,” he shouts back.
Whatever. I try to tune them out while forty four ounces of Coca-Cola Slurpee drains from my body. Just when I think I’m done, a steady stream starts flowing again. Taking a deep breath, I sigh with relief as my bladder shrinks back to normal size.
I could seriously kill Dom for not stopping the last two hours.
We’re making good time
. Whatever. A quick stop wouldn’t have killed us.
When my jeans are finally buckled, the toilet flushed, my hoohah wiped, and hands washed—and not in that particular order—I make my exit and mosey on over to my friends who are now sitting down on a couple of old sofas.