My heart is thumping so loud, I can hear it. It’s like a jackhammer pulsing in my chest. I tear open the top of the envelope and slide out a stack of papers.
I only need to read the first word to know the outcome.
“Congratulations!”
Tears fill my eyes as I tilt my chin up to my mom. “I’m in. I just got accepted to my first four-year university.”
In an instant, she’s kneeling beside me, arms circling my body, as she rocks me back and forth. She sniffles, and I know she’s crying right along with me. “I’m so proud of you, baby. You’ve worked so hard. Congratulations!”
“Thank you, Mom. Let’s call Dad. I bet we can get a really good dinner out of this.”
She chuckles into my hair and pulls back to look at me. “And some ice cream too.”
Dad brings home Chinese food, along with gourmet cupcakes. I devour an Oreo Cookie Chocolate Fudge dessert, savoring each bite as if it’ll be my last.
I can still taste the sweetness on my lips as I pace a trail into the carpet in my room. In two minutes, Alex should be home from his internship and will be calling me. I’ve been dying to tell him about Davis, but I don’t want to do it over a text. This is too exciting. I want him to hear it from my own two lips, not read it on a three-inch screen. Plus, I want to hear and see his reaction.
Time trickles by like a slow drip on a leaky faucet. Drip. Drip. Tick. Tick.
Finally. Two minutes are up.
I pounce on my bed, bring my laptop onto my thighs and wait.
My phone chimes first.
Hey r u home? Wanna chat? Video? Call? Phone sex?
My head falls back with a laugh. Phone sex? If I’m having any kind of sex with this guy … well that’s another thing that’s not gonna happen over the phone. I send him a quick reply letting him know video will be just fine. And not video sex either.
Seconds later, his face is smiling at me over the invisible internet lines.
“Hey, baby. How was your day?” he winks at me with that sexy grin of his spread across his gorgeous mouth.
His lips are amazing, even in the blurriness of a video chat. I could suck on them for days.
“Megan? Are you there? Can you see me? Hear me?” He starts moving around, examining his screen and keyboard.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m here. I can see you.” I chuckle. “That’s the problem. You make me lose my mind every time I see you.”
“Is that a compliment?”
“Duh! It’s been years, and you still make me drool.”
“Right back at’cha, beautiful.” He winks again and my heart does a little dance.
“So,” I begin, taking a deep breath. “I have something to share with you.” His eyes fixate on mine. “I got accepted to Davis today,” I squeal.
His smile widens, reaching up to the corners of his eyes, his lips parted. “Oh my god, Meggie. I’m so happy for you. Congratulations!”
“Thank you.”
His smile reaches me closing the distance between us. “You know that’s just the first of many.”
“That’s what I’m hoping for,” I tell him.
“Have you checked online? Sometimes schools post their decisions there before they mail them out.”
I shake my head. “No, I never thought of that.”
“Meg, this is the digital age. I’m surprised they even send paper letters anymore.”
“True.” The idea of looking online right now suddenly haunts me and my belly is a ball of nerves again.
“Hey, I have a ton of work I need to do for class tomorrow. Why don’t you go check online and I’ll call you when I’m done so you can give me the news?”
I think this over. “Sounds good.”
“Congrats, Megan. I’m so proud of you, baby. I can’t wait to find out where you decide to go.”
“Yeah, I can’t wait to find out either,” I say with a roll of my eyes.
Since Tuesday, letters have been trickling in slowly. After Alex suggested I look online, only one school had posted their decisions. I’m in at San Jose and I couldn’t be happier. So are Steph and Keesha. If we want to go to the same school, San Jose is going to be it. It’s the only school all three of us applied to.
“This is so hard,” Steph says. “How are we supposed to decide? I think I might have a nervous breakdown. There are so many things to consider it’s literally making me ill.” Dom runs his big paws up and down her arm, trying to calm her. His eyes study her with an intensity I’ve never seen. This has to be hard for him too. Whatever decision she makes, it could drastically change his life too. She’s already been accepted to Stanford, Mary’s and some college out of state. Both Keesh and I got in at San Diego too.
“I just wish Berkeley would hurry their arrogant asses up,” Keesh says. “I know it’s the only thing stopping both of you from making a decision.” She gives Steph and I the look, raised brow and all.
This whole discussion is starting to irritate me. We decided to come to my house and chill outside in the backyard, and maybe roast some marshmallows. We didn’t say anything about hashing out college decisions. “I’m not waiting for Berkeley,” I tell her.
My friends go silent, each of their necks snapping to turn in my direction. “Dude, even I know you’re waiting for that.”
“Whatever, Andi.” I pause. “You know what. I’d like to be able to make a decision for myself. Both Ben and Alex, my parents, Mrs. Fuller, have all said I need to do what’s best for me. I wish I’d get the chance. It’s killing me to think we could all be going in different directions, but do I really want to pick a school just so I can be near you?” I point to Keesh. “Or you?” I point to Steph. “Or anyone? What if you guys want to go somewhere I don’t really want to go to? Mary’s was the only school we visited in Los Angeles and I don’t want to go there. I didn’t even apply. So I already know wherever I go, I’m going to be far away from Andi. And probably Travis.” He puts his head down when I glance at him. “And who knows what the hell Josh is gonna do?”
He puts his hands to his chest. “Me. Don’t bring me into this, I don’t know what the fuck I’m gonna do. And I sure as hell don’t want to put any pressure on you. Go wherever you want, Megster.”
I swear, by the time I make a decision, I’m gonna have coronary problems. My heart is beating like a drum at a rock concert. An idea pops into my head to calm my nerves. I stand, pull off my hoodie, kick off my flip flops, take a few steps to the edge of my pool, and jump in. Clothes and all.
The chill of the water hits my skin like a slap in the face. But it’s so refreshing at the same time, and it’s just what I need. If the boys weren’t here, I’d whip off my shorts and tee, but they are so I have to slosh around in them while they weigh me down. Dipping myself underwater again, I resurface, floating on my back. Voices murmur through the water and into my ears, but I can’t make out what they’re saying. Thank god.
There’s a splash, and a wave pushes me away from the person. I close my eyes, not wanting to know who joined me. And then, there’s another splash. Great. I was trying to get some peace.
Suddenly, I’m under water again. My eyes flash open to see Keesh pushing me down with a smile.
“What the hell?” I shout, after taking a breath.
“Hey, relax,” Steph says softly, mascara smeared under her eyes. “We have an idea.
The three of us are treading water in the deep end, eyes darting back and forth between one another.
“An idea about what?” I ask.
Keesh smiles, and nods at Steph.
“How about we make the decisions on our own?”
“That would be great. But how do you suppose we do that?” I ask, wiping water from my face.
This time they’re both smiling and my nerves kick in again. “How about we make it a surprise? We won’t talk about choosing schools again until we’ve made our choices.”
I’m confused. “What do you mean? What if you decide before me? Are you gonna tell me?”
“No.” Keesh shakes her head. “We’re gonna keep it a secret until Senior Awards Night. None of us will know what each other’s plans are until we step up on that stage and spill the beans into the mic.”
“That’s crazy!” I squeal. “But what a plan. Do you think we can all keep a secret?”
Steph’s eyes are wide. “We can try.”
Chapter 25
Keesh signed up for a campus tour at San Diego, so Steph and I are tagging along. It’s spring break and other than a day at the beach, we don’t have anything planned. Steph and Dom have decided to stay in town and not go dirt bike riding with their families. Alex won’t be home till Thursday. It could possibly be our last spring break together and we have very little planned.
Keesha spends a good five minutes checking all the gauges on her mom’s Camry and looking in her mirrors before she pulls away from the curb at my house.
“Are you sure you know how to drive?” Steph asks, from the backseat.
Our driver doesn’t look back at her. “I have my license, don’t I?”
“The testing guy could’ve been old or had a bad day. I feel like I’m driving with my grandma.” She pauses. “Or a crack addict. You’re practically twitching with nerves.”
I try not to laugh, but I can’t help it. Keesh’s hands clutch the steering wheel at ten and two and her eyes flit in every direction as she moves down the street.
“Keesh, just relax, girl,” I say, softly. “Keep your eyes on the road and relax.”
Steph starts to say something, but I turn around and shush her.
“We have a two-hour drive ahead of us. Let’s just turn on some beats and chill.” I push the button on the dash to turn on the radio, hoping the music will calm my friend and we’ll get down south in one piece.
I don’t think I’ve ever driven anywhere with Keesh and now I know why. The girl is barely going the speed limit on the freeway. It may take us three hours to get there. But who am I to judge? I never drive either. My mom always offers me the car, but why would I want to drive? I love cruising in the backseat chatting with my friends. I don’t have to pay attention to anything but the conversation.
And … I never have to be the designated driver.
Not that we’ve needed one lately. First semester was crazy with all the partying and drinking. But shit is getting really serious now and we all have a lot of pressure on us. First it was calculus, then soccer, and now maintaining our grades until the end of the year. Whatever acceptances we’ve gotten are provisional. We still have to pass all our classes this semester.
I doubt we’ll have any problems with that. But I can’t imagine telling my parents I failed physics because I drank one too many beers and couldn’t focus.
That would be bad. Very bad.
And, I’d also like to go to college with at least some of my liver intact.
We make it to San Diego with just enough time to park and make a dash for the admissions office. They set us up on a guided tour and we follow this tiny girl around who must have buff arms from all the traffic directing she’s doing.
The campus is enormous. It’s a city of its own. Street after street of buildings. Stop signs, traffic signals, multiple parking lots, tons of places to stop for coffee, and we’re haven’t even seen half of it. The tour only includes a small piece of the whole enchilada.
“Oh no, if you want to see the entire school, it’s best to drive around. Not walk.” Our tour guide acts as if it was a stupid question to ask how long it was going to take us to see the campus from one end to the other.
“What happens if you have class on one side and your next class on the other?” a parent asks. We’re the only students who came on our own. I can’t wait to get home and tell my mom I feel neglected. She’ll probably tell me it’s just too damn bad.
“We have shuttle buses that transport students. But I wouldn’t recommend scheduling classes back to back if they’re at opposite ends of campus.”
I’m starting to feel overwhelmed. The campus is beautiful, the weather is amazing, but shuttle buses. Really?
When the tour is over, we head to the last coffee shop we passed to grab an iced drink.
The three of us sit in silence, sipping our coffees like we’re these too-cool college students.
“This is gonna be tough,” Steph says.
“Definitely,” I tell her.
“We have so much to think about,” Keesh says. “You know, Jon says he’s moving back home once he graduates. He’s been saving money. His parents told him if he can get a job and get into school over here, they’d help him.”
“That’s awesome.” I smile at my friend who glows every time she talks about him.
“I guess they thought he’d adjust, but he never did and they know he’s not happy there.”
Steph sets her drink on the table. “Did he get in anywhere over here?”
She smiles. “Yup.”
“Which ones?” I ask.
She raises a brow. “Not gonna tell you.”
“Why?” both Steph and I ask.
“Because you might get an idea of where I plan to go. And it’s a secret, remember?”