Oh goodness. This secret is getting on my nerves. It was a great idea at the time, but everyone knows I’m impatient.
“It’s kind of hard to make a decision based on me only. There’s a lot to consider,” Steph says, her head down. She grabs for her drink and takes another sip. “On one hand, I feel like we’re supposed to go our own ways and meet new people. Experience new things, make new friends. Find new boyfriends. But …”
“Look how well that turned out last year,” Keesh says. “If we wanted new guys, we would’ve enjoyed last year. Instead no one was good enough and we missed the guys terribly.”
“Hey ladies,” a woman who’s sitting behind Steph looks over her shoulder at us, “do you mind if I chime in?”
Keesh says, “Not at all. Go for it.”
The woman turns her chair around. “How long have you been friends?”
“Meg and I have been friends since elementary school,” she gestures to me. “And we’ve been friends with Steph since middle school.”
“Have you made other friends?”
I think of Andi, Travis, Josh. And Alex, Ben and Dom. “Yeah, definitely.”
“And have you lost friends?”
“Oh yeah,” the three of us say.
“But the three of you have remained friends?”
“Of course.”
“Then, I don’t see why you guys should feel the need to separate when it comes to colleges. If you all decide to go to the same place, don’t feel bad about it. Like it’s something you’re not supposed to do. Embrace it. Let your friendship grow. Let it get better. Don’t force yourself apart. You don’t need to.”
We all stare at this wise woman, contemplating her words.
“What about the guys? Our boyfriends?” Keesh asks.
“Sounds like you already tried to stay apart, right?”
We smile.
“Then don’t fight that either. If it’s meant to be, then
let it
be.”
What’s spring break without the beach? A fucking amazing spring break, I tell you. But it’s not like we’re going to toss out the tradition. My friends haven’t cared that I loathe the beach the last three years, so why would they now?
For some unknown reason, they actually like the gritty sensation of sand between their toes. They like eating a hot dog and feeling like they’re getting their teeth polished at the same time. They like taking a shower when they get home and seeing the sand pool in the bottom of the tub. Why? I don’t know. They just do.
Obviously, I’d rather stay home, catch some rays in my backyard, and swim around in a chlorinated pool where I don’t have to worry about whale shit seeping into my pores.
But, I’m just one person. One vote. Like usual, I’m now dragging my lawn chair through the sand, burning my feet, with my sweaty hair stuck to my face. My lips are already dry so I swipe my tongue across them and the nasty taste of salt has already cemented itself to my skin.
“Babe, we just got here. Put a smile on that cute face of yours,” Alex teases.
“Bite me.”
He wiggles his brows. “Gladly.” Now, I can’t help grinning. “That’s what I love to see.”
“Whatever.” I haul my things to where Keesh has set up camp for us. We’re here early enough to score a fire ring. At least I have roasted marshmallows to look forward to.
Travis and Josh are the first to trot down to the water, boogie boards in tow. Andi’s chillin’ with a floppy big-brimmed sunhat on her head and a sketch book in her lap. Of course, the hat is bigger than she is and it makes her look even cuter than usual.
Steph and Keesh are flipping through magazines, their heads bobbing away to the music in their ears.
Me? Alex hands me a tube of sunscreen and sits in the sand between my legs.
I rub a dollop between my two palms before I press them to his back. His smooth skin beneath my fingers causes me to draw in a deep breath.
“You okay?” he asks.
“Mmm,” I whimper, enjoying the warmth radiating from my fingertips to other parts of my body.
He leans back, tilting his head up to see me. “Having fun rubbing me down, are you?”
My mouth hovers just above his. “Just a little.”
His hand curves around my neck and his lips brush mine, lingering for a beat before his tongue peaks out and slides across my bottom lip.
“Oh boy,” I say, backing away from him.
Alex sits up with a chuckle. He turns around, facing me now. “You want me to get your back?” That sexy grin kicks up the warmth in my body to a full blown heat wave.
I dig into my bag for a book. “Nope. Don’t think I can take it. Go get in the water or something. I need to cool off.”
“Come with me,” he says, threading his fingers through mine. Oh goodness, more sparks fly with the slightest touch.
“No thanks. Don’t like the ocean, remember?”
“Fine. I’ll go in with the guys.” He turns back around and faces the water, sitting with his knees propped up and his arms draped across them.
“What are you waiting for?”
He glances over his shoulder at me. “I can’t get up just yet. You’re not the only one who needs to cool off.”
“Dude, our guys look hot. Someone, quick. Take a picture. I want to draw that later.” Andi’s holding the front lip of her hat up to enjoy the view of the guys getting out of the water after spending the whole afternoon boogie boarding and body surfing.
Keesh scrambles to hold her phone straight, tapping wildly on the screen to catch the amazing site of our three guys strutting toward us, with sun-kissed broad shoulders and dreamy grins, dripping wet. I may hate sand, but the way it’s dusted on Alex’s body catching the sunlight, making him glow like the hottest fantasy I could ever imagine, is mouth-watering.
“Sweet jeezus,” Steph whispers. And she’s right. Dom is the biggest one of all them and never have I noticed how much muscle that guy is packing. He looks like a grown man, like the ones on the covers of my mom’s sexy romance novels.
“
Dayum
.” Keesh continues to snap pictures, her tongue sticking out the side of her mouth in deep concentration. “Even Joshie looks like a sex god. What the hell happened to our goofy little boy?”
“I heard that,” Josh says, apparently close enough to eavesdrop. “That’s what I said when the Megster first showed off her hot ass body a few years ago. Who would’ve known she had all that under her baggy clothes?” The dork doesn’t even have time to brace himself for what comes next. Alex kicks the back of his legs out from under him and he’s on his ass. “Hey, bro. It was a compliment.”
Alex nods, “I know. And that was a warning.” He winks at Josh.
“Dude, when are you gonna get your own girlfriend?” Dom asks, shaking his head. He plops down next to Steph with a quick smooch to her cheek.
Josh props himself up on his elbows. “What do I need a girlfriend for when I have,” he points to each of us girls, “four already?” Travis, Dom, and Alex don’t laugh so he adds, “Just kidding. I don’t know. Haven’t found anyone I like. These ladies have set the bar pretty high.”
“Good one,” Keesh says, through a mouthful of Hot Cheetos.
“Dude, Shayna was totally cute. I liked her.” Andi is now sitting in Travis lap sharing a bag of licorice.
“Yeah, she’s cute. Just wasn’t feeling it. I’m in no rush. All of you are gonna be getting married soon, so someone needs to handle all the single ladies at the receptions, right? I’m just taking one for the team.”
There’s no arguing with this guy. He has a silly comment for everything so we all just nod in amusement.
After a few scrumptious roasted marshmallows, Alex gets to his feet and holds out his hand to me. “Let’s go for a walk, babe.”
“We’ll be right back,” I tell the group.
“Take your time.” Keesh raises a brow at me.
Alex leads me away from our friends and down to the shoreline. Hand in hand, we walk along with the damn sand squishing through my toes. And it doesn’t feel so bad. Not with this amazingly hot and sexy stud of a man attached to my fingers.
“Did you have fun today?” he asks.
“I did. I always have fun when we’re all together.”
“Even at the beach?”
I laugh. “Yes, even at the beach.” My breath catches when he holds the back of my hand to his lips. “So how is everything going? At school? At work?”
We continue, walking slowly, stealing glances at each other while we talk. “Things are good. This week, I went out to a few sites with my boss. It’s different. I loved it.”
I look up at him, seeing the sparkle of happiness form in his green eyes as he talks about his work. “How so?”
He smiles. “First of all. Everyone was casual. It was the first time I’ve seen my boss in anything other than an expensive suit. It was cool wearing jeans and a flannel to work. And a hard hat.” He chuckles.
“I wish I could’ve seen it. I bet you look hot in a hard hat.”
His eyes narrow on my lips. “I bet you would too.”
“Dang. We’re just one big ball of horniness, don’t you think?”
He chuckles again. “Maybe.”
“You think that’s a bad thing?”
“Why would it be? We’re just being careful. We’re not rushing into something we’re not ready for just yet.”
“Yeah.” I’m quiet as I think about it for a bit. “But what if we’re finally ready and we do it …”
“It?”
“Yes. It.” I think about what my mom said. If I can’t say it, than I shouldn’t be doing it. “It. Have sex.” Oh my god. Does that mean I’m ready? “What if we have sex and then the spark between us fizzles? What if that’s all our relationship is based on? The fact that we want to be together, we want to sleep together, and then when we do, there’s nothing left to want.”
He stops walking and turns around to face me. Alex traces the outline of my face with his fingertips, drawing my chin up so our eyes meet. Then he threads his fingers through my hair, before letting his hands drop down to mine. He grasps both of them, the strength and warmth of his hold sending flickers of heat pulsing through me.
“Megan Miller.” The intensity in his dreamy eyes has me hypnotized. “Someday soon, you’re going to be my girlfriend again. And someday, when you’re ready, we are going to make love. But I can guarantee you, there will never be a
someday
when there’ nothing left to want. I’ve always wanted you. I will always want you. And we will always want to be together. I promise.”
As I gaze into his eyes, it’s like I can see straight into his heart. And he’s right. We’ll always want each other. Even when we’re old and married with two kids and a dog. We’ll still want each other as much as we do right now. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.
My hands slide up his hard chest, and curve around the back of his neck. I pull him closer, until he lowers himself and our foreheads are touching. “Kiss me,” I whisper against his lips.
And he does …
Showing me with every nibble and nip.
With each brush of his tongue against mine.
With every press of his lips to my mouth, my chin, my neck …
He shows me just how much he wants me.
Chapter 26
I only have one more night with Alex before he leaves again, and I’d really like to spend it with just him. But … something very important came in the mail today and a video from Ben trumps everything.
It kills me to wait for my friends to watch it. It’d be so easy to just pop the thing into the side of my laptop and view it in the privacy of say … my closet. But I promised I’d wait. Even if I break out in hives with impatience.
The crew trickles in little by little. Josh is the last to arrive. I almost started the damn thing without him.
“Dude, I hope he figured it out this time,” Andi says.
“Or at least, watched it before he sent it,” Josh adds.
“You guys act like he has time to just sit around and make home videos for us. He’s a Marine, for cryin’ out loud. He’s not at summer camp.”
“Wow, Travis. Someone’s got their panties in a bunch today,” I tell him. “They were only joking.”
The rest of the room is quiet as he scowls.
As much as I was disappointed in the first video we got from Ben, I also thought it was funny.
It went something like this, “Hey, guys. What a good idea. I loved watching all your videos. I was …” And then the screen blacked out for a second. When it flashed back on, Ben was saying, “Okay. I’m sure you’re sick of me already and I gotta go. See ya next time. Love you guys.” And that was it. He must have pressed the record button twice and not realized he turned the thing off. Let’s hope my step-by-step instructions helped him record something good this time.
There’s static at first, and I groan. Not again.
“Hey everybody. I think I got it this time.” He laughs. “That must’ve sucked to watch the last one. I don’t have much time and I doubt the next one will get there in time, so I just want to tell Travis, Josh, Andi, Keesha, Stephanie, and Meg, congratulations. I wish I could be there on your graduation day but know that I’ll be thinking about you. I can’t wait to hear more about your plans and I’m sure you’re all going to be a big success where ever your paths lead you. I’m proud to be your friends and …” he pauses, scrubbing his bald head, “congratulations, again.”