Double Clutch (32 page)

“
Nope, and I like it like that.” His jaw tightened at his lie.

“
There’s a concert on Saturday. A bunch of us are going.” I made sure my voice was casual.

“
Folly?” He avoided looking directly at me, but I could see he was interested.

“
Yeah. You want to go? My boyfriend can pick you up.” I felt like any wrong word would send him running in the opposite direction.

He looked at me, not quite trusting me. “I don’t know.”

I shrugged. “It’s no big deal. You have a cell?” He nodded. “Here.” I wrote my number on a piece of paper. “It’s my number. You can call if you feel like it. Oh and have this.” I pulled one of the Folly shirts I designed and made myself at home. I planned to give them all to Chris so he could consider them for future sales, but it seemed like a decent good faith gift, to let Devon know I wasn‘t inviting him out to get a bucket of pig‘s blood dumped on him at a concert full of his peers. “I designed it for the show, but it’s the first, so no one else has one yet.”

He held the shirt out and stared. “What if I don’t go?”

“
It’s a t-shirt, Devon. You could always just wear it to school.” I went back to writing, even though my mind pulled in a thousand different directions.

“
I’ll think about it.” Devon said it like he was doing me some big favor. “And, um, thanks.”

I smiled at him, and we didn’t say anything else for the rest of class, both of us pretty lost in thought.

By the time the bell rang, we were farther than any other group. Thankfully, Mr. Dawes didn’t feel it necessary to announce that fact to the whole class. Devon and I walked quietly to my government class.

“
I have government now.” I pointed to the door. “Where are you headed?”

“
Biology.” He looked intently at a poster for fall drama auditions on the wall.

“
That’s on the other side of the school. Devon, you don’t have to walk with me.”

“
I like the company.” He tore his eyes away from the poster and smiled.

I smiled back. “Cool. Think about Saturday. It’s supposed to be pretty fun.”

He nodded, then gave me an awkward wave and turned the other way. I went into government where Saxon moodily tapped his foot, cell phone in one hand, call sheet in front of him. He barely looked at me when I walked in.

“
Do you remember Devon Conner?” My words clicked out of my mouth with undisguised fury.

He stopped tapping his foot. “Who are you, the Ghost of Christmas Past? Lay off today, Blix. I’m in no mood.”

“
Do you?” I pressed, ignoring his comment.

“
What part of ‘not in the mood’ causes you confusion?” He met my eyes and tried to stare me down; I wasn’t about to let him win this one. He gave up and shook his head with disgust. “He was some dork I went to middle school with. I haven’t talked to him in years.”

“
Did you organize your classmates to exclude him?”

He looked at me with narrowed eyes. “Yeah, then I burned a cross on his front lawn. Could you calm down the melodrama? I was, like, twelve the last time I had him in a class. Whatever I did to him, I’m not apologizing for it now.” He went back to tapping his foot.

Sanotoni came in and barked a laugh when he saw the cell phones out. He rubbed his hands together. “Looking good, young pollsters. Let’s get started.” He checked his watch. “On the hour. Okay, go!”

Thumbs worked overtime, and for the next forty-five minutes there was the endless chaos of phone dialing and dozens of low conversations going on simultaneously. Saxon was polite, direct and fast. He flew through half of our list in no time. He got snagged by a few talkers, but managed to get himself out without being rude. I planned on taking my time, but once I got someone on the phone, the thrill of competition crept over me and I couldn’t help but do my best. When the final bell rang, Saxon and I were in the lead, with thirty completed surveys between us.

“
We go again tomorrow. Dismissed,” Sanotoni said.

“
Don’t win this,” I begged Saxon in the hallway. “It’s just going to make problems.”

He laughed me off. “Don’t try to direct me. I’m not Jake. And try not to be a chicken shit when we win. It’s a day out of here. Plus that,” he said, and he moved his mouth close to my ear, “you know you want to spend the day, just the two of us. Now you don’t have to lie to Jakey. Tell him it’s for school. Don’t go into detail. Wouldn’t want to confuse him.”

Saxon turned and stalked away, pushing past the flow of traffic just to be an asshole. I was left with nothing to yell at his back; no angry retorts, no smug, self-satisfied comeback. I slunk into art class and grumbled through my macramé mess, ran so hard in gym I could hardly breathe when it was over, and stomped past Saxon on my way out to Jake’s truck.

He was leaned against the passenger door, and as soon as he saw me, he opened the door and helped me in.
That
, I thought to myself, was the difference between dating someone like Saxon and dating someone like Jake. Jake had basic manners. Jake was thoughtful and kind. Jake wasn’t wreaking personal Armageddon on the lives of innocent dorks for fun.

Maybe he had slept with half the female population of Sussex County. I honestly couldn’t care less. He loved me, he was good to me, and when I thought about him it felt like my heart was in bloom.

He smiled at me from the driver’s side. “I’m loving that I get to see you for lunch.” He pulled me over to the middle and threw his arm around my shoulder. I leaned my head against him and breathed his smell in.

We pulled up at Tech and he led me into the lunchroom. He felt me hold back a little bit.

“
What’s wrong, Bren?”

“
I just…I don’t know anyone here, I guess.” It was that raw, jangly first-day-of-school feeling all over again, but I was already a month in.

“
I do, though.” He rubbed his thumb over my knuckles. “C’mon. You can meet my friends here.”

We went to a round table, the one I had seen Jake at the day before. “Hey guys,” he said. “Brenna, this is Lou, Jesse, Ellen, Aaron and Chloe.”

They all smiled friendly smiles and waved.

“
This is the famous Brenna?” Lou asked. His lean face was friendly. “We’ve heard a lot about you. A lot. Like never-endingly a lot.”

Everyone laughed.

“
Shut up,” Jake mumbled, flicking a Dorito from Ellen’s bag at Lou. They laughed again.

“
All good stuff, though,” Lou added.

“
Good to know,” I said and smiled at them all.

Jake led me to the cafeteria line. The selection was different than Frankford’s, not better or worse, just different. I loaded my tray up.

“
Is it okay here?” Jake stacked two yogurts on my tray with anxious fingers.

“
It’s good.” I squeezed his hand while I balanced my tray with one hand.

When we got to the checkout cashier, Jake paid for the both of us.

“
I don’t want you doing that.” I put my wallet back in my pocket with a frown.

“
You’re my girlfriend. I want to pay for you. I know you think I’m really poor, but I do work full time.”

“
I don’t think you’re really poor,” I said, even though I did. “I just get money from my parents for lunch. What will I do with it all?”

He grabbed my tray, put all of my food on with his, and slid the empty tray under the shared one. “You mean you can’t think of anything to do with extra money?”

I shrugged. I hadn’t been shopping, except for my room, since I was in Denmark. “Fine. I’ll spend it on something else.” I thought about what I could get Jake for his birthday; would he be offended if I bought him new clothes? Money was a testy issue for him.

Back at the table, Jake touched my arm and thigh every so often to check on me. I realized part of the reason he wanted me to eat lunch with him was to show me off a little. He bragged for me to his friends, which made me blush and them laugh. It was weird to watch him talk about me. It was like eavesdropping on his thoughts, or reading his journal. If Jake kept a journal. It was flattering.

The rest of the day flowed smoothly. Our projects were almost ready to submit. We had created a set of business cards for our fictitious companies, and they wound up coming out better than I expected. Jake’s work was a little more conventional, but he was meticulous and put a lot of thought in. My stuff was more creative. I was happy taking risks and playing around with ideas that were new or different. Our teacher was impressed.

“
You two should do the next partner project together,” she said as she flipped through our portfolios. “You both have excellent designs, and you have polar opposite strengths. You’d do well together.”

Jake and I nodded respectfully, but under the table, he rubbed my leg.

“
I guess we’re pretty good together,” he whispered against my ear later in the hall.

“
Is that what she said? I thought she said you could learn a lot from me.”

He kissed me against his locker, pressing into me in a way he didn’t often do in public. I hung on and kissed him back, pushing away everything I had done or left undone, everything I had lied or told a half truth about. I finally had a little bit of a grasp on the weight of Jake’s regrets.

Friday was the longest day of my life. Saxon said nothing to me. He didn’t catch me in the halls, didn’t walk by me, didn’t talk to me. I was glad we were calling in government. We didn’t have to speak to each other at all.

We won. Of course. Neither one of us spoke about the win or the day we would have to spend together the next week.

Devon decided to go to the concert. He was getting dropped off, but I told him the time and we planned to text when he got there, so we could meet up. He bit his lips nervously all period. When we walked down the hall together, I caught sight of Chris and Kelsie and purposefully stopped to talk to them. I introduced Devon and mentioned the show. Chris was all excited when Devon mentioned that his favorite Folly song was “Slow Dog.”

“
I wrote that song!” Chris exclaimed. I had never seen him that excited. “You are my personal favorite fan, Devon.”

Kelsie punched his arm. “What about me?”

“
You are my personal favorite person,” he clarified.

We laughed, and Devon stopped chewing on his lips.

Kelsie gave me a necklace, one of her beaded ones made from blue glass. “It’s the same color as your eyes.”

I hugged her. “It’s beautiful. You’re going to be famous someday.”

“
Then that makes two of us.”

When it was time for track, I ran hard and long. Coach Dunn was ecstatic, which she showed me by thumping me on the back a few times until I felt like I might hack a lung. I had taken the late bus home on Thursday, and it had only been about half an hour. Friday, Mom picked me up.

“
How was your class last night? I wasn’t up when you got in.”

“
Just some rotund stone fertility goddesses.” She smiled at me. “Are you up for movies and ice cream? It looks like this group of students is going to drive me to consume Ben and Jerry’s at least three times a week.”

“
I’d love that.”

So Mom and I got some Chunky Monkey and Cherry Garcia and rented
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
and
The Birdcage,
two of our all time favorites. We snuggled on the couch and laughed and ate our totally non-nutritious dinner, and it felt like old times again.

I knew Jake wouldn’t call until late. He had to work extra hours to make up some of his time for taking off Saturday. Then he had to make sure his bike was in good working order, then he was going to do a few laps on a course near his house.

By the time the movies were done, Mom could hardly keep her eyes open.

“
Um, Mom?”

“
Yeah, honey.” She brought our bowls to the kitchen while I turned off the TV.

“
My friend…” I took a deep breath and stood next to her in the kitchen. “My boyfriend, Jake, is coming tomorrow. I just didn’t know if you remembered.”

She turned and looked at me, my pretty mom with her blue-gray eyes and her good cheekbones that I didn’t inherit. She tucked a piece of light hair behind her ear and blinked a few times. That was tears. I felt my throat tighten.

“
Mom.” I took the bowls out of her hands and put them on the counter. “We don’t have to do this. If you don’t feel comfortable, you and Thorsten could give me a ride.”

“
No.” She put her hands on my shoulders. “You’re a good kid, Bren. I want to meet this Jake. If you like him, he must be something special.”

And now I had to bring in my backup, to make my mother feel better and spread the good kid thing on thick.

“
I filled out that application for the Rotary Club study abroad. I emailed it last night, while you were at work.”

“
Oh, baby.” Mom sighed and hugged me close. “You are going to have such a great time.”

“
Well, they have to accept me first. There might be a lot of applicants. It’s possible I won’t get in.”

Mom snorted at that. Then she smiled at me and said the words that made us both crack up. “Brenna, sweetheart, who can hold a candle to you? You’re
world traveled
.”