Double Clutch (34 page)

“
When will you be back?” I held him tight against me.

“
You’ll hardly even know I was gone. The race is at ten, so I’ll be here by nine, if that’s okay.” He went to the window and looked down at the muddy clothes. “Just to prepare you, I am going to cry like a baby when I have to put those on.”

“
I don’t think I have anything that would fit you. I could grab something of Thorsten’s.”

“
No way. Too risky.” He jumped out the window. He shook his delicious, muscled limbs and put his clothes on, jumping up and down with cold. “I’ll see you in a few hours. I love you Bren.”

“
I love you, Jake.” I leaned out the window and kissed him, trying not to get choked up as he ran away from me.

It wasn’t even possible to think about going to sleep again, but I wanted to be ready for the day, so I made myself at least lie down and breathe deeply; in twice and out once, my chest rising and falling until I dozed. When I woke up with a start, it was eight. I had an hour to get ready.

I made my bed, and it seemed impossible Jake had been there with me the night before. I felt so good and light after telling him everything. Saxon wasn’t hanging over our heads anymore, and I finally felt like I could breathe easier. I was still feeling a little ashamed I had doubted Jake’s commitment to me, and that I had let Saxon suck me into a web of lies.

I showered and got ready, taking extra long because I was freaking out about the day, and I preferred to focus on getting my mascara on without any clumps than imagining what would happen when Jake and Saxon and I all wound up in one place together later that night.

Before I knew it I heard the familiar rumble of Jake’s truck and the crunch of his tires on the gravel of our driveway. My heart raced and I gripped the sink vanity for a few seconds, trying to work up the courage to go out and meet him.

I heard Mom open the door. I heard Jake’s low voice, and I heard her say, “Thank you, Jake. That was so thoughtful of you.”

I crept out of the bathroom like the coward I was, and saw Jake had handed my mom a bunch of flowers. He had on a blue button down that brought out shades of blue in his usually gray eyes. His hair was brushed down and gelled. It seemed like he had worked really hard to get a certain look, but I wasn’t sure I knew what it was. Maybe ‘responsible boy who won’t break your daughter’s heart’?

Thorsten came down the stairs and shook Jake’s hand. I was so relieved Fa was here today. His cool Scandinavian calm tended to offset Mom’s natural crazy neuroticism. Jake stood awkwardly when I came down the hall.

All three of them looked at me at once. Thortsten looked happy and kind, as usual, Mom looked like she was trying really hard not to cry, and Jake smiled so wide it looked like it had to hurt.

It was Jake who moved forward first, then stopped. He seemed to sense my mother’s territorial vibe.

“
Wow. You look really pretty, Brenna.” Jake fumbled with one of the buttons on his shirt.

My mom gave him an assessing look. “She does, doesn’t she?”

“
You’re going to need to keep away from the track. It’s way too muddy.” Jake looked a little worried.

“
Is it dangerous, Jake?” my mother asked.

“
No, ma’am, not for Brenna. Sometimes the riders wipe out, but we’re in a gated track.”

“
I see you drove.” My mother gave Jake a long, piercing look that I’m pretty sure most interrogators would kill to master. “Have you been driving long?”

“
Yes, ma’am. I’ve worked on a farm since I was about fourteen, and I drove their tractor the first day. After a few months, they let me drive the work trucks too. I never speed,” he added hastily.

“
You work on a farm?” Thorsten asked. He grew up on a farm, so he had this agricultural camaraderie thing. “Where do you work?”

“
Zinga’s, sir.” He looked at me, just a really quick flick of his eyes, but I could see he was nervous.

“
I love their apple tarts!” Thorsten said enthusiastically.

It broke the tension. Everyone laughed.

“
Fa loves to eat anything,” I said.

“
I should be very fat.” Thorsten motioned in front of his stomach like he was pregnant. “I have to walk everywhere, or I’ll get a big gut.”

Mom laughed and patted his flat stomach. “Well, you kids should get going. Brenna, do you have your cell phone on?”

“
Of course.” I took her into my arms and held her very tight. “I love you so much. Thank you.”

“
Well, he’s very polite,” she whispered as I held her. “And he certainly is very good looking.” Louder she said, “Wear your seatbelts at all times, no exceptions. Give me a call when you get to your concert and when you get out. I don’t care how late it is.”

We agreed, I kissed her and hugged her again, kissed Fa, and grabbed Jake’s hand. If it was possible, I felt even lighter than I did after I talked to Jake the night before. As Jake opened my door and I climbed into the old truck, I saw the familiar flick of the curtain, and it made my heart glow with toasty warmth.

Jake pulled out very slowly and carefully. He probably overdid it, but I imagined Mom would appreciate his effort to impress her with his caution. “Wow. Your mom is scary.” Jake undid the top button on his shirt and took a deep breath.

“
I thought she was nice.” I felt the defensive prickle that I always felt when someone said something not completely complimentary about my mom.

“
I didn’t say she wasn’t nice. I said she was scary.” He looked a little pale. “She stared at me the whole time like she was trying to decide if she should punch me in the face or let me go out with you.”

I laughed. “You’re exaggerating. She told me she thinks you’re hot.”

He looked over at me, his eyes dancing. “No way!”

“
When she hugged me.” I reached over and tousled his perfectly gelled hair a little.

“
Wow.” He shook his head.

“
What?”

“
Your mom’s like this super scary, super hot professor. I guess I’m just really flattered.” He raised his eyebrows at me. “Do you think I’m hot?”

“
I do.” I leaned against his shoulder. “Especially in that shirt. I love all those buttons.”

We laughed easily. It was nice to be able to be so comfortable with him. I thought after we slept in the same bed, there might be some kind of residual awkwardness, but there was nothing like that. He kept one hand on the steering wheel and shrugged out of his dress shirt.

“
I’m a little nervous about the race,” he admitted.

“
Don’t be. You’ll do great,” I said, though, of course, I had no idea at all.

“
I don’t usually mind screwing up, but I don’t love the idea of doing it in front of you.” He tapped his hands nervously on the steering wheel. “Just don’t go home with the winner instead of me.” He wanted it to be a joke, but he couldn’t bring himself to laugh at it.

“
Don’t be insane. Like I’d even be interested in anyone else? Anyway, maybe you’ll win,” I suggested. “I can’t even tell if there’s a real chance that you will. You’re always so pessimistic about yourself, I don’t know if I should believe you.”

“
We’ll find out soon enough.” He shifted and drummed on his steering wheel faster, not able to settle down at all.

When we pulled up, there were hundreds of other cars already there. I felt my jaw drop. I guess I had been expecting a couple dozen people and a little dirt track. This was huge. The track was enormous, and there were already really little kids flying around it. Like really little kids; kids who looked small enough to be in kindergarten.

Jake looked over at them and grinned. “I was that age when I won my first race.”

I remembered he had told me he was four when he started riding. “Do you win a lot?”

He laughed and rubbed his neck. “A lot for an amateur.” He reached into his backseat, pulled out a long sleeved, jersey-like motocross shirt, and put it on. He got back in the truck to put on his pants, then boots and knee and elbow pads. When he stood and turned, his helmet tucked under his arm, I felt a little girly thrill. He looked very sporty and tough.

In the back of the truck, under a tarp, was his dirt bike. It was bigger than I expected, and very clean.

“
Did you wash it for the race?” I pulled a finger along the shiny metal of the fender.

“
Of course.” He looked at me in shock when I laughed. “What’s so funny?”

“
Jake, you washed your
dirt
bike the day of a big
dirt
track race? You don’t think it’s funny?” The more I thought about it, the more it made me giggle, chuckle, then full out laugh.

Jake just sighed. “You,” he said and kissed me between giggles, “just don’t understand.”

He parked near one of the ramps that were set up in the area, hopped into the back, and pushed his bike down. He set the helmet on the bike. Then we walked to a tent where people were waiting with clipboards and number placards.

The sound was intense. There was the constant whine of a dozen bikes racing at the same time coupled with the cheers of the crowds and the droning announcements from four big loud speakers.

“
Jake Kelly.” Jake smiled at the older woman checking people in.

“
Jake! How nice to see you! I hope you win the big one this year.” She smiled and handed him a large number seventy-eight for his bike and his shirt.

“
Thanks,” he said shyly and we moved on.

“
So, are you some hot shot in the world of dirt bike racing?” He attempted to pin the number on his shirt. I brushed his hands aside and pinned it for him, making sure it wasn’t crooked.

“
In the world of amateur Sussex County dirt bike racing I’m like a demi god.” He winked at me.

Just then a gaggle of girls called his name. When he looked up, one of them took a picture of him with her phone, and they giggled and ran.

“
Oh no.” I put my hands on his big, broad shoulders. “This is going to be one big Jake Kelly love fest, isn’t it?”

“
I hope it’s one big Jake Kelly win fest.” He tugged me closer and leaned to whisper in my ear. “I prefer a private Jake Kelly love fest later on, if you know what I mean.”

He was just about to kiss me, which would have been wonderful, when a bunch of guys wearing the same kind of motocross outfits came over to us.

“
Hey Jake,” said a guy with slicked black hair and crooked teeth. “Ready to lose?”

“
If I’m racing you, it isn’t really a worry.” He put his arm around me tight.

I noticed every guy in the group looked at me a little hungrily.

“
Who’s you’re girl, Jake?” the crooked-toothed guy asked.

“
Guys, this is Brenna. I’m not introducing them,” he said cheerfully to me. “They’re mostly idiots, and plus that, you don’t really need to know anyone here but me.”

The guys hooted. “He’s just scared you’ll realize there’s something better than the old village dirt bike,” Crooked Tooth said, half joking, half nasty.

I smiled dumbly because I didn’t really know what to say. The tone was a little meaner than I was comfortable with. The guys moved on quickly, most of them looking back to whistle or cat call.

“
That was weird.” I put a hand out and Jake grabbed it, pulled it to his lips, and kissed my knuckles.

“
They’re scumbags. Listen, don’t talk to any of them while I’m racing, okay?” His eyes had that strange, maniacal gleam that only bubbled up when he got seriously angry.

I felt my face go hot. “I know I’m not really in any position to be offended that you just said that, but c’mon, Jake.”

“
I’m not worried about you.” He kissed me softly. “They’re like damn dogs. Give them any encouragement, and you won’t be able to get the hell away from them.”

“
When is your race?” I asked.

“
Twenty minutes. But I get a few minutes to run the course between races. I’ll take you to the stands, okay? You want a soda or some food?” There were little vendor huts set up all over. The track had turned into a little city with food and clothing vendors, port-a-potties, repair stations, and sponsor huts.

I was a little hungry, but I didn’t want Jake to miss out on any practice time. “I’d rather get one with you after you race.”

“
Alright.” He squinted a little in the sun and smiled. “I’m really glad you’re here. No one’s ever come to see me race before.”

“
Never?” I couldn’t believe his dad never wanted to be by his side when Jake raced.

He hesitated. “Mom of course, before she died. And Saxon. Back when we were friends. He used to race, actually.”

“
Oh,” I said. He shifted uncomfortably, and I switched tracks. “I’m glad I’m here, too.”

“
Good.” His smile was a little more guarded. We walked to the stands. He came as far as he could go with his bike, then directed me to sit where he could see me.

“
It’s important.” He held me by the elbows. “I want to be able to see you, okay?”

“
I get it. Wait.” I took my camera out of my purse. “Stand next to your bike.” He did and gave a cocky smile. I snapped the picture and kissed him again. “Have fun and be careful.”