Dominque (Knights to Remember) (9 page)

A
ll the way back to the hotel Dominque was silent, too caught up in the events of the night and the options floating through his brain to speak out loud in a sensible way. He’d broken down and cried. He didn’t do that, not anymore. Not since
that
night. Tears were useless. They changed nothing.

“We’re here,” Jacob spoke softly, waking him from his thoughts. “I’ll walk you inside.”

“There’s no need.”

“Can I have your number?”

“You have my email.”

Jacob sighed and Dominque caught him running his hands over his face, rubbing it roughly. “I feel responsible for your pain.”

“Don’t, you didn’t cause it.”

“I'd love to meet the fucker who did.”

Dominque smiled, turning to him. “I’ll think about everything you said.”

“I just want to help, Dominque.”

He didn’t know if that was the truth of not, but his heart told him to believe it. Since when did his heart speak to him about clients?

He caught sight of Thom at the doorway to the hotel, concern etched on his face as he watched them in the car. It was later than they’d agreed, and there’d been no call to say Dominque was okay.

“Who’s that?” Jacob followed his gaze to Thom, tapping his fingers on the wheel as he looked up and down the six feet four of muscle which was Dominque’s security for the weekend.

“He looks after me. Looks after a lot of us I should say. He’s my protection.”

“Protection from men like me?” Jacob flicked his questioning gaze to Dominque.

“From clients.” Dominque sighed. “They’re not all… trustworthy.”

“Even me?” Jacob tucked a strand of Dominque’s hair behind his ear, gently tracing his jaw before he dropped his hand to his lap.

“I don’t think I need protecting from you, Jacob.” Maybe he did, but not from harm, more from himself and how he was considering Jacob’s offer of help. “Trust is a gift.” He met Jacob’s green eyes and smiled softly. “A gift you should think carefully about giving away. I learned the hard way. I won’t make that mistake again.” Dominque was opening the door and he sighed when he saw Jacob stepping out of the car too. “Good night, Jacob.”

“Dominque…” Jacob was beside him, holding his elbow and keeping him still.

Thom caught his hesitant look and was over immediately. “Is there a problem, Domie?”

“No. Jacob was just leaving.”

“Very well.” Thom crossed his arms over his broad chest and looked down at Jacob. “Then I’ll bid you goodnight, Mr Buchanan.”

He could see Jacob wasn’t totally convinced about leaving, even with the giant which was Thom standing before him. It made Dominque smile a little seeing how he was so confident and unaffected by the pushy alpha male display Thom pulled off. Jacob simply stared into his eyes, not backing down and instead half smiling at Thom before looking at Dominque again.

“Good night, Dominque. Sleep well.”

“Night, Jacob. Thank you for a lovely evening.”

Jacob was about to say something else, but he stopped and nodded, turning back to look at Thom before walking around his flashy car and getting inside.

Dominque moved into the lobby of the hotel, secretly watching as he drove off. When Jacob had gone from his vision, he leaned against the wall, closing his eyes and sighing heavily.

When he was in Jacob’s presence, he felt on edge all the time, like he couldn't take a full breath. Everything in him was super aware of Jacob. He could sense an invisible link connecting them, and through it travelled all the strong emotions Jacob felt. He felt all the nerves and confusion, the anger, the need to be in control. Dominque felt how Jacob wanted to protect him, and it stung knowing beneath it there wasn’t more.

It was a natural instinct in a Dom to protect and care for a sub. Dominque didn’t want to be an automatic response, he wanted much more, and he didn’t think he would ever get that from Jacob.

“Are you okay? Did he do something you didn’t want?” Thom was holding his shoulder when Dominque opened his eyes.

“No. He just… he saw
me
.” Dominque knew Thom would understand. They met while Dominque was training at the club Thom went to. They never played together, but he was a friend, one who both he and his best friend Kieran trusted. “I should have known.”

Thom gently led him to the lift where he held Dominque close. He was always so caring, so in tune with the real feelings in someone. This was what Dominque had missed the most. Outside the club and the scenes he took part in, there was few people who really ever cared for him.

He found much more than domination with his Doms. He found out how he could hand over his body and his mind to them and trust they would take care of him. Not being able to do that, and not being able to find someone outside of the scene to be with either had taken a heavy toll on him over the past two years.

Dominque didn’t show much, he held everything tightly bound inside him and Thom was obviously a little concerned by the unexpected release of emotions, but he still dealt with it in his cool, caring way. “I’ve never seen you so shaken up. What happened?”

“He’s a Dom. He saw through me, Thom.”

Thom helped him into the lift and looked down into his eyes. “He said he was one, that doesn’t mean you have to believe it. He could be some wannabe who likes to think he’s one ‘cos he’s dominant. You know they’re out there, and you know what happens when you trust someone to play with you when they don’t know what they’re doing.”

Dominque disliked thinking back to the last time he placed his trust in someone so easily and he didn’t appreciate being reminded about it either. “He wants to help me.”

Thom grunted, shaking his head. “If you’re ready to seek out help, then you know where you should go, Domie. Back home.”

“No.” Dominque hugged himself. “I’m trying, Thom. That’s why I’ve been reaching out to Kieran, as a way of easing me into that life again, but it’s too much to go back there right now.”

“What did he offer? And how do you even know he’s good enough to take this on? Does he even know what you’ve gone through?”

Dominque hadn't spoken about that night for almost two years, since it happened. “I don’t know what to do right now. I'm too tired.”

Thom walked with him to his room, gently holding his shoulder again. “You want me to check him out? If you know more about him, then deciding what to do next will be easier on you.”

Dominque looked up and smiled. “How will you do that?”

“I have my ways.” He grinned at Dominque. “And don’t worry. It will be outside of the agency. They won't be involved.”

Dominque nodded as he stepped into his room. “Night, Thom.”

Thom gave him one last long look, then nodded, stepping back and watching as the door closed. Dominque had no idea how he would check out Jacob, and he really didn’t want to know. But if he found out Jacob could be trusted and he really was a respected and experienced Dom, then Dominque would feel better about the whole situation. He’d fallen for fakes before, and he wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

T
hom was knocking on his door at nine the next morning. Dominque had finished dressing and was a little shocked to see him standing there with two large lattes and a box of warm croissants.

“Morning.” Dominque eyed up the food as he smiled. “I'm starving. Come in.”

Thom placed his goodies on the coffee table and sat down, pulling out a few sachets of sugar from his jeans pocket.

Dominque looked over his friend as his thick fingers ripped open three sachets and poured them into his coffee. “You look tired. Please don’t tell me this is my fault somehow.”

Thom stirred his coffee with a tired half-smile, watching Dominque sit beside him, cradling his own coffee. “Don’t feel guilty for me losing a few hours’ sleep. It was worth it.” Thom scratched his chin, running his fingers through the short beard he wore sometimes. “Your doctor was easy to track down. Living around here, and doing what he does for a living, he had to go somewhere exclusive to play. So, I started off by calling a friend up who manages one of the more elite local clubs. He’d seen your doctor there a few times, but said it wasn’t his regular place. He asked around, made a few calls, gave me this place.” Thom slipped out a thick cream-coloured business card.

Dominque ran his fingertip over the two R’s facing each other embossed on it. This place was famous and it was invitation only. You couldn't just walk in and play, you had to have an interview and book an appointment before they would even let you through the door. “He goes here? Did you… did you go in?”

Thom laughed. “I went, got as far as the doorman. It’s totally private, Dominque, they won’t give away a member’s details to just anyone. I called up and spoke to the guy who was managing the night staff. Told him your doctor had shown an interest in you, but as we didn’t know him, we were unwilling to go further without confirming how good he was. It’s common for club members to check up on other Doms when they’re interested in one of the subs, so it wasn’t strange and he was okay with it.”

“But obviously he didn’t give you anything?”

“No, but Jacob Buchanan’s been around for years.”

“So… he’s fully trained? He was telling me the truth?”

“Yeah. No doubt about that part. But just because he’s trained doesn’t mean he’s suitable for you.”

“Hmm.” Dominque sipped his coffee, then quickly devoured a croissant while he thought. “I like him. I mean physically, I like him. He’s got a good heart, despite how much he tries to hide it. I react to him when I haven't to anyone else in a long time. But… he’s a client, and he’s already asked me to attend another function. I can’t… I don’t know if I should mix the two. I'm not ready for a personal relationship, and keeping it business-like, or in the scene seems like a good idea, but then mixing the two just didn’t work out last time.”

“This wouldn’t be like last time. We’d make sure he’s right for you before you moved on. How you two move on… well, that’s up to you. I’d say keep it out of the clubs for now. It would be too much for you, but him being a client and you subbing for him… I don’t know. The best way would be to end the client/escort side of things and move on to a contract with him as your Dom.”

The word contract made Dominque choke. “I'm not ready for that.”

“You must have something agreed before you move on.”

“I don’t want to.”

Thom sighed. “You're going to have to talk to him, Dominque. You know this. You can't expect him to guess what’s going on. If he’s going to help you, he needs to understand, and that has to come from you direct, not some third person passing on the info.”

“Like you.” Dominque smiled at him.

“You need to open up to him. It’s no good me telling him. Yeah, he’d know what you went through, but that’s not the point. You telling him everything means you trust him and that you're ready to open up to him. You can't move on if you don’t trust, Dominque.”

Thom’s phone rang and Dominque sat back, giving him some space to talk. “This is the club where he goes.” Thom met Dominque’s wary eyes and smiled reassuringly. “They said they’d contact Jacob and discuss the situation directly. If he’s given them the okay to talk to us, that’s a good sign.”

Dominque almost couldn't bear to sit beside him while he talked to the club. He had to busy himself packing, trying not to listen, but it was impossible. Hearing them talk in such a cold way about him and Jacob made him freeze up and want to forget the whole thing. It only took a few minutes and Thom was ending the call, smiling at Dominque.