Dominque (Knights to Remember) (8 page)

“I wouldn’t know.”

“Do you top?”
Oh, surprising.

“Yes.” Dominque chuckled. “Of course. You think I don’t like fucking men?”

“Yeah, but…”

“Never judge a book by its cover, Jacob. Don’t you bottom?”

Jacob laughed so hard he had to wipe his eyes. “No, Pet, I don’t.”

“You should. It’s amazing.”

“I did years ago, not now. Not for a long time.”

“Didn’t you enjoy it?”

“It felt very strange. The guy was big though, and he was fucking bossy.”

“A toppy bottom works for me.” Dominque slapped his hand over his mouth, then laughed. “I mean… you know what I mean.”

“Topping from the bottom. I love to watch that.”

“Me too.”

“You lose control on the bottom. I’ve always got too lost when I did it. I need to be in control.” Jacob pulled into the underground parking lot and smiled. “I'm all about control.”

“So am I, but I remember how good it was to not have any. It’s freeing.”

Jacob nodded, understanding instantly what he meant and wanting more than anything to be the one who Dominque would trust to let him take that control and leave him flying free.

“Jacob…” Dominque looked at him, eyes wide and honest. “It doesn’t matter.”

“You can ask me anything.”

He shook his head and smiled. “It’s okay. It’s not important.”

“Anything you say, or think, is important to me, Dominque.”

They both stepped out of the car, Dominque waiting for Jacob to reach his side before they began to walk. When he felt the soft silk-like hand clasping his, he turned to look at Dominque.

“Boyfriend’s touch, Jacob.”

“Yes, so I've heard.” Jacob looked down at their hands in quiet amazement, restraining himself from latching on and never letting go.

“You don’t get touched much, do you?”

“Not when I can help it.”
However, for you, I wouldn’t mind you touching me all over. Anywhere you want.
Jacob closed his hand around Dominque’s. Enjoying how his warmth heated his own skin as they walked side by side.

“How do you cope during sex?” Dominque’s question made Jacob smirk as he turned to look into those big eyes.

“I do all the touching.”

“I don’t know how they can't touch you.” He hummed as he looked away, a slight blush covering his cheeks.

“Thank you.” Jacob grinned down at him. “I guess them being tied up helps.” He chuckled, throwing in the little tease to see how he reacted.

“Is this it?” Dominque ignored the statement all together and pointed at the Japanese restaurant in front of them. “I'm so excited about going here. It’s the best in London. How did they get seats?”

“I have no idea, and I don’t like sushi, so I’ll be sticking to noodles or something.”

“You should try some. You never know, you may like it.”

“We’ll see how convincing you can be. But I doubt it will happen.”

“I can be very convincing when I want to be, Mr Buchanan.” Dominque looked up through heavy lids, coy smile playing on his pouty mouth.

“I bet you can.” Jacob placed his hand on the base of Dominque’s spine as he ushered him through the door, fighting his own body’s craving to rush him up against the wall and wipe that smug little smile from his mouth by a bruising kiss as he huskily whispered his words the sexy brunette. “I'm sure you can get most men to do anything you want. I see I'm not the only one who loves being in control.”

“I didn’t say I loved it.” He turned to Jacob while they waited to be seated, keeping those brown eyes on his the whole time. “It’s a job where I have to be in control. Like you said, without control you get lost. I can't get lost in this job. I’d never find my way out.”

Jacob brushed his fingertip down Dominque’s jaw, looking into those dark eyes. He was submissive, he needed to be lost, to be out of control, and he needed someone who he could trust to give that control to. “Seeing you so lost would be a very beautiful thing. Helping you find your way back would be an honour.”

“You're a Dom.” Dominque stepped back, the shock and fear evident on his face as he spoke in hushed tones, both of them aware how their voices would carry in the marble encased area. “I knew you were.”

That surprised Jacob. It’s not like he was an easy target, but Dominque spotted all of the clues and got the right answer. Clever boy. “And you’re a sub.”
Jackpot!!
Jacob was more convinced than ever Dominque wasn’t a total vanilla. He used to practise BDSM and now he didn’t. There was a reason why, the question was, did Jacob want to know the answer?

“No.” Dominque pressed both his hands against Jacob’s chest. “I’m not.”

“Oh, Dominque. You are, I know you are.” He moved closer so his words were for only them to hear. “It’s in your bones.” His lips brushed over the silk-like skin on Dominque’s neck as he spoke. “You scream for submission, for someone to dominate you. Every look, every tilt of the head, every drop of the eyes, how you kneel when you can't cope.” Jacob tilted Dominque’s head back, both of them staring into the other’s eyes breathlessly. “You’re begging for me to take control of you. It’s your natural state. One you're denying. You need to be on your knees for someone, to give them everything, you want it so much I can taste it spilling from you.”

“No,” Dominque whispered. “You're wrong.”

“Oh, Dominque. I'm never wrong, Pet.”

“Don’t call me that,” he hissed out. “I'm not a pet. I'm not your dog. I'm not your… your anything.”

“But you want to be mine.” Jacob took hold of his chin and forced those honest eyes to look into his.

“No. Maybe that’s what you
think
you see, but it’s not true. Trust me on this. I will
never
submit to you in that way. If you want to be on top, that’s fine, you want it rough, that’s fine. But if you think you can gain my trust and play with me, then you're wrong. I don’t trust.”

“If you don’t trust, you can't submit.”

“I know!” Dominque slapped his hand over his mouth and panted as he stepped back, putting some distance between them. “I know that.”

Jacob quickly caught him in his arms again, holding him still. “You can't submit? To anyone? You don’t trust anyone?”

“No.”

“For how long?”

“Stop this.” He looked around nervously but Jacob’s only concern was Dominque and everyone else could be damned.

“Dominque, how long?”

“Two years.”

Jacob stood back, his mouth half open. The kid must be losing his mind. “How deep were you in the scene?”

Dominque looked around, trying to see an escape route, but Jacob softly touched his arm, stealing his attention back where it should be. On him. “Are you trained?”

“Yes. Now that's enough.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing. Everything.” Dominque stood back, arms crossed over his chest, eyes wild and pupils blown.

Jacob was losing him and he made the instinctive decision to calm him and keep him still. He took hold of Dominque and pulled him against his chest, the svelte body in his arms shaking violently. “It’s okay. Just breathe for me, close your eyes and breathe.”

Right then Bettina and Allan appeared through the front door.

“Will you be okay to do this? We can leave.”

“I'm here to do a job. That's what you're paying me for.” Dominque stood back, blowing out a long controlled breath and fixing a fake smile on his lips. “Don’t push me again.”

“I won't.”

A lie.

T
he evening was pleasant considering the underlying stress which Jacob knew he and Dominque were feeling, but what could he do about it now Dominque’s fake persona was set so firmly in place? Bettina and Dominque talked in Russian sometimes, leaving him and Allan to talk chit chat, mainly about how loved up he was with his wife and new baby girl, and hoping Jacob had found that special someone in Dominque.

It seemed Dominque cast a spell over anyone he met, leaving everyone in his wake captivated by him. Jacob was sure this was his gift, becoming what people expected of him, but he’d caught a glimpse of the real person, and that’s who he wanted.

The fact something bad had happened which caused Dominque to be unable to trust and to submit weighed heavily on Jacob’s shoulders, and he found himself comforting Dominque as he would any sub while they were in pain or distress, with softer touches, more caring glances, giving him the attention he needed.

Dominque smiled, leaning in to kiss his cheek midway through the meal and whispering against his cheek. “Stop it. I'm not your pet.”

“I don’t want a pet.” Jacob held the firm scowl he got. But it was true, he wanted so much more.

“Then stop treating me like one.”

“Jacob?” The female voice from behind him made his hand tighten on Dominque’s shoulder, his companion instantly feeling it and looking behind them. “I thought it was you.”

His sister.

“What on earth are you doing here? You hate fish. I bet you had plain boring rice, didn’t you?” Helen was there, right in front of him, looking between him and Dominque with narrowed eyes. “You're on a date?” She shifted her attention immediately to Dominque, not even bothering to let Jacob reply before she began talking again. “I'm Helen. This miserable bastard’s sister. Poor honey-babe, what has he done to convince you to date him?”

Dominque took her hand, chuckling. “He’s paying me lots of money.”

“Ah, well that explains the mystery. Oh, you're lovely. Am I interrupting? Of course I am. Do I care? No.” She smiled at Allan and Bettina. “Mind if I stay a while?”

“A while?” Jacob growled out. “Piss off, Helen.”

“Piss off?” she replied indignantly. “I haven't seen you in
six
months.” She rubbed her heavily pregnant stomach. “See how big I've gotten since we last talked? I'm ready to divide in two months and you tell me to piss off. Some brother you are.”

“Please, take a seat.” Allan was up, offering her his seat.

“Thank you, nice to see someone has manners.” She settled down, folding her hands over her stomach, and Jacob sighed. “I won't stay long. The other half is paying the bill, then he’s getting the car and saving my feet.” She turned her attention to Dominque. “So, tell me everything, starting with your name.”

“I'm Dominque.” He smiled at her. “It’s nice to meet you. Jacob mentioned you in passing. I had no idea you were expecting. You look lovely. So healthy.” He lied so well and so easily. It made Jacob pause and wonder if he had fallen for any.

“It’s my first.” She grinned at them both. “So, how long have you been seeing each other?”

At that point, Bettina jumped in excitedly, telling her how they made the perfect couple and they were so in love, how she loved Dominque. It went on and on while Jacob squeezed Dominque’s hand under the table. When he moved to caress Jacob’s shoulder, leaning in and kissing his cheek, whispering the word ‘breathe’ into his ear, Jacob smiled softly at him.

“See, so in love,” Bettina exclaimed loudly.

“Dear God,” Jacob whispered against Dominque’s hair.

“Are you coming to the wedding?” Helen leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table and cupping her cheeks in both her palms.

“Of course I am,” Jacob replied. “I wouldn’t mis—”

“I wasn’t talking to
you
.” She turned to look at Dominque. “He has a plus one, but he hasn’t said anything about you coming. I have to get the list finalised. You should have told me, Jacob. I’ll have to rearrange a few things—”

“Dominque is busy that week.”

“The whole week? You can't make the weekend of the wedding?”

“Erm.” Dominque faltered.

“It’s the week you have to be back in Leeds,” Jacob intervened quickly.

“Oh, I'm so sorry… I’m busy this week.”

“It’s the week after.” Helen brushed her hair over her shoulder. “Did you give him the wrong date? Can you come? Ma would love to meet you. She’s obsessed this one is going to die alone.”

Jacob threw Dominque a stern look and he bit his lip.

“Sorry,” Dominque said quietly.

“It’s okay, that’s my fault. Of course it’s next week. Helen, we need to talk about this. Meeting the whole family in one go might be a bit too much too soon. It’s very early days.”

Dominque nodded, shyly smiling and blushing on cue. “It would be nice to be there on your special day, but—”

“See!” Bettina interrupted. “He wants to go. Aw, you two lovely boys need to go. Don’t make him sad by not taking him, Jacob.”

“I just… Let us think about it.” Jacob couldn't say anything else.

“I need to know soon. Like by Monday.” Helen wasn’t going to let this go, Jacob could tell.

“Fine, Helen. Fine.”

B
y the time dinner was over and they’d said their goodbyes to Bettina and Allan, Jacob felt like he’d been in a car crash. His head was spinning and he was totally confused. Dominque dealt with the situation much better than him and had taken over for the last half of the night, playing on his escort persona and experience to keep everything happy and light.

Now they were walking back to the car, both separately, Jacob with his head down and his hands thrusts in his pockets. Since his sister left, she’d been texting him, saying how she’d told their ma the good news, and how she wanted to meet the man in his life. He’d never invited anyone to meet his ma.

“Are you okay?” Dominque stopped him and they looked into the other’s eyes.

“I'm fine, just… I'm sorry.”

“What for?” Dominque laughed. “Your sister running into us isn't your fault.”

“I meant everything else, about before. I shouldn’t have pushed.”

“It’s okay.”

Jacob could see it wasn’t, but he didn’t push the matter further. “She won't let this go, you know.”

“Lying to work friends is one thing, lying to your mum… I don’t know, Jacob. Don’t ask me to do this.”

“I don’t want to do this anymore than you do.”

“Tell them we broke up. Tell them we had a huge fight over something tonight and it’s over. End it now.”

“End it?” Jacob took out his car keys and tossed them in his hand. Part of him wanted to end it, but only so he could be with Dominque without the agency. “Would you trust me enough to talk to me without the agency, without the money and this client/escort thing? Just as friends?”

“No.” Dominque backed off instantly. “I can't do that.”

Jacob leaned back on the car and looked at his feet. “Right.”

“I can't do this, Jacob. Not only because I don’t feel right lying to your mum, but because of what happened earlier. You pushed, pushed too much. That’s out of line. I can't be with you. Not now, not now you… I can't risk it.”

“I would never touch you against your will, Dominque.”

“No, but you would push my limits. Force me to think about issues which I don’t want to. However you’d accomplish that, it’s still something I'm not ready or willing to talk about.”

“We don’t have to talk about it.”

“You're lying.”

“I never lie.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“You don’t trust anyone.”

“Jacob… I'm not what you want. You know this. This changes nothing.”

“It changes everything.” Jacob pressed Dominque back against the car covering his svelte body with his and looking into his eyes.

“You want a sub, go find one. I'm sure you're in constant demand.” His prissy attitude made Jacob tense and tetchy, his fingers curling unconsciously into his palms.

“I don’t just want a sub. I want to help you, Dominque. Maybe we could come to some arrangement. I could help you and you help me.”

“No. I won't.” He sighed heavily. “You don’t even want me.”

“It doesn’t have to be about sex. It’s about trust. You could gain so much from me if you let me in.”

“I haven't let anyone in for a long time, and I've got more chance of trusting other men above you and still not changed my mind.”

“Other men…” That riled up Jacob’s blood. “Other Doms obviously.”

“Yes.”

Jacob thought for a moment and went with a comforting lie. “But I don’t want you. They do. This would be different. I wouldn’t want to own you. I want to help you.”

Dominque looked at him for a moment, then turned away. “I'm tired, Jacob. I’d like to go back to the hotel now.”

“Will you at least think about it?”

“I can't do this. I can't if you knew… If you knew why…” He covered his mouth and took a few slow breaths. “I can't. This is a hard limit for me. It’s gone. Maybe forever.”

“No, not forever.”

“You don’t know.”

“Tell me.”

“I can't.”

“You can trust me.”

“I won't trust anyone ever again.”

“Jesus.” Jacob wiped the tears from Dominque’s face tenderly. “Someone really hurt you, huh?”

“Yes.”

“Maybe one day you can tell me all about it, but until then, I'm okay with stepping back.”

“You're not a friend, you’re a client. Don’t confuse the two. Don’t believe your own lies. I'm nothing to you. I'm nothing but a fantasy.”

“This isn't a fantasy. This is you.”

“I don’t know who I am!” Dominque shouted so loud it echoed around the underground car park. “I lost who I was. I'm just a shell and I wait for someone like you to come along so I can decide what to fill myself with. Who I was never really existed. He died a long time ago, long before my trust.”

“I see you, Dominque. I see the real you.”

Dominque sobbed quietly, not looking at him. “How can you when I don’t even know who I am?”

“Because I see the person you should be, who you want to be, the one who you deny inside. I see the characters you play, the different personalities you take on. I see every lie, every fake smile, every action which feels wrong. I see past all those and see you.”

“Jacob… I can't. I don’t know what you want, what I want. I don’t know where to go with this. I can’t think.”

“Come to the wedding with me.”

“I need to think about it.”