Authors: Kristen Strassel,Allyson Starr
This was fucking dangerous, which made me want to do it even more. I made sure Nikki was busy batting her eyelashes at Matt before I made my getaway. Matt was a nice guy, sexy as sin, and they seemed to have stuff in common. A couple of rum punches in, and she didn’t seem to care who she flirted with. I just hoped she didn’t come looking for me, as I didn’t give her any reason for my absence.
We had to be quick. And I was ready.
Bret opened his bedroom door, grabbed my arm, and dragged me inside before anyone could find us, like this was a hostage situation. A couple of my cousins’ voices echoed from downstairs. They’d follow me and Bret anywhere.
I was still laughing when pushed me up against the door, that ice-green stare crisp and sparkling. It felt like diving into the deep end of the ocean, and having no idea sharks awaited to attack.
“Told you Jerry was all about your tits.” Bret yanked on the end of the string barely keeping me in my bikini top. “The game was his idea. And he didn’t even know anyone else was playing.”
“Neither did you.” My top fell, but I didn’t drop my gaze. “I thought I was going to lose my head.”
“I was hoping you’d lose this.” He picked up the fabric. “Whatever. I can see them any time I want. But something about being in public with you, Gemma, gets me hot. I know why you want people to watch you. I’ve got some ideas churning.”
I squirmed against the door. The heat between my thighs was unbearable. So many things were wrong with this idea, but damn, it turned me on. “Hurry up,” I said. “They’re going to come looking for us. I didn’t give Nikki an excuse.”
“We can fuck Nikki, too.” Bret sat on the foot of his bed and took a sip of his beer. “She’d be into it.”
“I have no doubt, but she’s technically my boss, and I’m not fucking up my job. Even if they don’t pay me. I need it.” I picked up the other beer and took a long swing. This wasn’t going to be as easy as a simple fuck. I didn’t sit.
Bret got up and went over to the window. “She’s totally into Matt, which is good, because he’s into her too.” He motioned for me to come over. When I shook my head, he said, “No one can see us. The windows are tinted. Don’t you remember Dad had them put in, because they’re energy efficient? He bored the fuck out of me, going on and on about these damn windows, but it gives me a great idea.”
“What?” My heart pounded. I took a couple small steps closer to the window, but not close enough that anyone could see me, even if it weren’t tinted. Dad had been excited about these windows. The outside was like a mirrored wall, basically. They were coated with a tint so the sun didn’t penetrate them, and it kept the cooling costs way down. But I didn’t trust it.
“Come here, Gemma.” Bret took another sip of beer.
I tied my top before joining him. The pool was in clear view, full of our family and friends. If they could see us, no one cared enough to even look up. I fell forward when Bret lifted my leg on a box, leaving me wide open. “What the hell are you doing?”
He chuckled in my ear, pressing his body against mine. “Taking in the view.” He wrapped his arm around my waist, tickling the outline of my bikini bottom with his other hand.
I shouldn’t have been surprised he wanted to fuck me in front of the window. I could hardly breathe. What if…
“I think this party was a good idea. Ellen’s having a great time.”
Mom was having fun today. All her friends I hadn’t seen since the funeral surrounded her, telling stories and jokes. I’d missed the sound of her laughing—a deep chuckle that always ended on an up note. She’d always loved my dad’s jokes and my jokes, and she’d roll her eyes at Bret but even laughed at him. I hadn’t had much occasion to be funny since I’d been home. It was a piece of my childhood I desperately wanted back.
“I miss Mom like this.” I put my hand against the window. From up here, it was like looking at an old photograph. It felt that way too. What life was before this summer and what it had become.
“She’ll get there,” Bret murmured, slipping his fingers inside my bikini bottom. “We all will.”
I gulped as he ran his fingers along my labia. My body was slick and ready for whatever he had in mind. On the other hand, my mind raced. I’d told Bret I wanted to be watched, not caught by my fucking family. My breath fogged the glass. Maybe I didn’t have to worry about anyone seeing us, after all. I could take care of that on my own.
“Can you hand me my beer?” Bret asked. He could get it himself, if he let go of my waist.
I sneered at him over my shoulder as I bent to get it, the motion driving his fingers deeper inside me.
“Thanks.” He didn’t surprise me when he pushed my bikini to the side. His cock had been hard against my back the whole time we stood here.
I didn’t expect something cold to touch my pussy. “What the hell are you doing?”
“I’ve been fantasizing about doing this to you ever since I bought these.” Bret groaned, easily slipping the neck of the beer bottle inside me. He ran his tongue against the side of my neck, like he hoped to put out the fire of my raging heartbeat with it. I gasped, falling back against him. He tightened his grip on my waist and pumped the bottle up and down. It didn’t stay cold for long, and the sensation was totally different that using a dildo. Hard and foreign. And scary. What if it broke? Or got stuck?
His body slumped, and the bottle landed on the shelf with a slam. Beer splashed out. He fumbled with his shorts behind me, wrapping up his dick before he slammed it inside me.
My hands left a trail on the fogged windows, as they slid down the glass. His cock was hot after the ice-cold bottle, the two sensations causing totally different reactions. Before, I’d been afraid to squeeze, but now I clamped down on him as hard as I could, making it hard for him to get away.
He slid out slowly, and then my face was turned to his. “I love this angle, but I miss watching your face while I fuck you.”
Our gazes locked as he thrust balls deep, the noise muffled by the back of my bathing suit. He pulled my hair back. Our lips were so close. Danger flashed behind my eyes, and my whole body pulsed. I fell on my knees with Bret still inside me. This was the hardest I ever came.
Bret kept fucking me, digging his fingers into my stomach. Shit. That was going to leave a mark.
He fell on top of me when he came. “That was fucking hot, Gemma.” It was, because it was dirty, forbidden, and totally unexpected. Even more than our usual fare. He smoothed my hair away from my face. It was drying from the pool and the heat of our union. “Even more so because you trusted me.”
“I’m still scared they saw us.” We could see everything. I adjusted my bathing suit.
Bret shook his head. “Nope. There’s no way. If they did, someone would’ve come in here.”
I popped up to peek out the window. “Crap. It looks like Nikki’s figured out I’m not around.” She wandered aimlessly around the pool area. I scrambled up to my feet. “I’ve got to get downstairs.”
“I’ll go first,” Bret suggested. “Unless you think it would be less suspicious if we came downstairs together. I mean, no one suspects there’s anything going on.”
“We hope.” I considered my options, but then I got a whiff of myself. “I smell like sex. If I go down there now, everyone will know.” And I had bright-pink marks on my stomach from Bret’s fingers.
Bret nodded. “I’ll see you in a minute.” He looked back at me before he left the room, but he didn’t say anything. It was strange to be left like this, after something so intense, with no more contact. We would’ve kissed, if we were a normal couple. But we were totally fucked up, and it made me feel empty. I didn’t like that.
There was only one way to make the feeling go away, and that idea sucked even more.
I gave up on my bathing suit. It was filthy now. I changed into the dreaded one-piece. Mom gave me money for it, so I bought it. Just in case. She was too wrapped up in her friends to give me much shit when it didn’t make its debut earlier. I’d resented buying it, but now I was glad to have something to change into.
“Oh, there you are.” Nikki was in the kitchen when I went downstairs. “You and Bret disappeared.”
Fuck.
She giggled, leaning against the counter. “I was going to go find him, but this house is so big.” She slurred her words.
“Have you seen him?” I asked.
“Yeah. He’s outside now.” She ran her hand along the strap of my suit. “You weren’t wearing this before. Were you?”
“Nope. I went upstairs to change. You know, don’t want to be sitting around in a wet suit.” Of course. The suit was my alibi. Duh. “Let’s go back outside and get you some water, maybe?”
Nikki held on to my arm, giggling and rambling on about Matt. Something about bowling alleys and mini golf. I was confused, but she was fucking hammered, so I just let her talk.
Bret had joined Matt at the table, looking smug. “There you are. Thought you had better plans,” he said, taking a sip of his beer. That crooked grin said too much. Maybe we had a language that was just between us. No one else seemed to notice anything. Nikki landed in the chair with a thud, and Matt looked so relieved we were back, I don’t think he’d care at this point if we fucked in front of him. My gaze fell to his stomach. Maybe he’d be the one I’d ask to join in.
No. I didn’t want to share. “The party’s right here.” I sat beside Bret and winked.
Wait a minute.
“Is that the same—”
“Yup.” Bret took a long sip of his beer, finished it off, and set it in front of me on the table. I stared at it in disbelief. “What are you two doing later tonight, Gem?”
Nikki swayed in her seat. If we were doing anything else, I was going to have to get her to take a nap.
I shrugged. “Staying here?”
He grinned. “I was thinking maybe we could go watch the fireworks on the boat.”
I’d only seen the boat in the pictures Dad had sent me. Like all babies, it was even more beautiful in person. It was all white, with its sail column—I didn’t know the proper terminology—rising from a cabin that led down into a living area with a couch, a couple chairs, and a bed. Being on it felt like entering another realm, with the water rocking below our feet. I was seasick, heartsick, everything sick. This was the best and worst idea Bret ever had. But it was perfect, because Dad was here with us.
The party was in full swing at the marina, but everyone fell eerily quiet when two tattooed rockers and their trashy looking counterparts waltzed on to the Starling boat. I was pretty sure we’d be talking to the police in a matter of minutes, until one gentleman, who looked like he’d just stepped out of a sailing catalog, waved to us. “Hey, Bret. Happy Fourth.”
“Hey, Rick,” Bret replied, his face brightening. He grabbed my arm. “This is my stepsister, Gemma, and my friends, Nikki and Matt. We decided to come watch the fireworks in style.”
“Glad to meet you.” Rick nodded at all of us. “Let me know if you need anything, Bret. We have food and wine. You’re all welcome to it.”
“Thanks. We’ve got beer and a few other things.” Bret smirked. “Let’s get this celebration started.”
“How do you know him?” I asked as Rick walked away. Bret couldn’t have come here with Dad. He was on tour when Dad bought the boat.
“He was Dad’s friend. I’ve been taking sailing lessons.” Bret nodded to the guy and waved. “He looks like a stuffy old bastard, but he’s actually cool as fuck.”
Holy shit. “You have? That’s awesome.”
“Dad loved this fucking boat more than he loved us, I think.” Bret laughed, but his eyes were shiny. It had been a long day full of beer and sunshine, but he looked like he was going to cry. “I wasn’t going to let it sit here and rot. I know Ellen wants to sell it, but we can’t use it if none of us know how to sail. So, what the fuck? Gotta liven up Newport Marina somehow. Right?”
“I’m actually proud of you.” I never expected this. “It’s a really cool tribute to Dad.”
“I’ll teach you what I know.” Bret smiled. “I’m not ready to take her out yet, but I know he was really looking forward to spending time with you on here.”
My eyes burned, and I pressed my lips together to keep from losing it. “I’d like that.”
Rick came back with two excited-looking girls in their late teens. They vibrated with excitement. “Bret, these ladies tell me you’re famous,” Rick said.
Bret flashed his rock star smile. “In some circles, I suppose that’s true.”
“Are you kidding?” one of them said. “Enemy Impact is awesome.”
“Thanks.” Bret actually looked humble. It was awesome to see these total strangers gushing over him.
“Can we take pictures with you?” the other girl asked.
“Of course.” Bret put his arms around the girls, and one of them fiddled with her phone, trying to get all three in the shot at the same time.
I offered to take the picture for them, stepping in to take the phone from the girl. I took a couple of shots, making sure they got one they liked. I knew it was going straight onto social media.
“What time are the fireworks?” Nikki asked. She was in much better shape after I forced her to take a nap. “This is going to be amazing. I’m from Cranston. I only get to watch fireworks over water if it rained earlier that day and there are still puddles in the street.”
“Nine thirty, I think,” Matt said. He looked at his phone. “Soon.”
“Where do you live?” I asked. “And was Nikki talking about you and bowling alleys earlier? I was confused.”
“I’m in Providence.” He laughed, turning bright red. “Yeah, I was telling her I hope to open a bowling alley and mini-golf place. I miss doing that hokey shit. That’s the stuff I think is fun. And it can run itself for the most part, if I go out on tour. So I see it as an investment. And built-in entertainment.”
“You mean
when
you go on tour,” Bret said. “I’m telling you, man, the label is interested in what you guys are doing. Wait till the show in New York. I bet you get an offer soon after that.”
“I don’t like to count on things before they happen.” Matt couldn’t contain his smile. “But I’m not going to say no if they do come at us with anything.”
“I think we should celebrate,” Nikki added. “Everything. It’s Independence Day, after all. We’re all together on this amazing boat, and we’re all doing what we love. We’re fucking lucky.”
“I’ll drink to that.” Bret passed beer bottles to the three of us. We raised them in the air, glass clinking before we all took a long sip.
Beer would never be the same for me after this afternoon.
Nikki sat next to Matt on the long bench outside the cabin. He snaked his arm around her waist. My body warmed, not only from the beer, but from the smile they shared as they started talking again. She hadn’t shut up all day and Matt still wasn’t sick of her. He might not like to count on things before they happened, but it was pretty easy to see Nikki was a sure bet. Electricity flowed between them, and there was going to be more than one fireworks show on this boat.
I jumped and screamed at the first of the twenty-one gun salute. Bret caught me by the hand. The boat rocked with the impact. Both impacts—me jumping and him touching me in front of our friends. He didn’t let go, and I didn’t move any closer. I didn’t know what to do.
“Come up on the roof with me, Gem.” Bret tugged my hand. A quick look back at Nikki and Matt, to ascertain they’d slipped into an alternate universe, and I hiked up my skirt and followed Bret up the stairs. The guns exploded in time with every step. “Did you wear panties tonight?” he whispered when we got to the top of the stairs.
Negative. “You’re a pig.”
“You love it.” He sat with his legs dangling over the top of the cabin, hands back, and tipped his head up.
Little explosions went off all around us—surrounding towns starting their displays, or people who picked them up illegally. The night was slightly overcast, which sucked for the fireworks, but the clouds lit up pink, green, and blue, and it was its own kind of magical.
I dropped my legs over the side when I settled next to him. “Matt and Nikki seem to have hit it off,” I said, balling my hands in my skirt. I couldn’t touch Bret here. Everything was too raw. I needed too much. And so many eyes around us. The boats were docked close to one another, and those two girls Rick brought over couldn’t be the only Enemy Impact fans at the marina.
“Yeah, they did.” Bret grinned. “I probably should’ve brought you here alone first, but tonight seemed perfect. Dad would’ve had us out here, drunk as shit, and it seemed pretty piss poor of us to leave him alone on his favorite night of the year.”
The first blossom of explosives for the main event flashed in the sky, like Dad really was here, saying everything would be okay. Tears stained my cheeks, as I watched light rain down all around us. All that excitement and promise fizzling into nothing. Forgotten. It never seemed so poetic before.
Bret put his arm around me. I crashed against his shoulder when he pulled me in, and watched the fireworks through blurry eyes, trying to mask the sobs that hiccupped out of me with each fresh explosion. I couldn’t fool Bret. My arms automatically wrapped around his waist. He pressed me against his side, rubbing my arm. His gaze was focused on the sky, eyes unblinking, the fireworks’ reflection blurry against the green pools.
“Everyone can see us,” I whispered.
“I don’t care,” Bret whispered back.
I put my head back down and tried to relax. Tonight we were one in our sorrow, entangled in so many emotions we’d never be able to separate ourselves. It felt right, and it shouldn’t. Everything about this was wrong, but I couldn’t tear myself away. The danger between us had become a drug, and I was addicted.
Applause broke out through the marina as the display came to a close, smoke rolling in from the water obscuring the other boats. Bret turned to me. All the electricity from the fireworks had settled between us, daring us to ignite.
No, we had to let it fizzle.
But I felt empty. Not from missing Dad, because he was here with us on the boat. I wanted to kiss Bret. So badly. I knew what every part of him tasted like except for his mouth. The most maddening part of him. Those lips that dripped venom had to taste like honey. I knew it.
Bret blinked, hard. I could drown his eyes right now. I took a deep breath, preparing to get pulled under with him.
He didn’t kiss me. I’d never before been so relieved and so angry at the same time. But neither of us could escape the force field.
“Hey. Um…” Matt stopped when he came upstairs. It had to be our loaded gaze, not meant to be shared. Our arms still around each other. “Nikki and I were thinking of hitting the blues club and wanted to see if you guys were game for a drink,” he said.
“Oh.” Nikki giggled behind him.
Bret didn’t let go of me, and he didn’t flinch. If he did, I’d have dived into the ocean and began my future as a mermaid. It seemed like the only conceivable way out of this. “Gemma got upset watching the fireworks,” he said, like what we were doing actually made sense. “Our dad loved this shit. He loved the Fourth more than he liked Christmas.”
“Sorry to hear that.” Matt came over and touched my shoulder just as Bret disengaged.
I cringed. I didn’t mean it, but the whole world was spinning. We were caught.
Matt seemed to buy the story, but he was drunk. “I lost my old man a couple years ago. It sucks. Stuff like this brings it all back.”
“Do you want to go for a drink?” Bret asked me.
I looked back at Nikki, wide-eyed with guilt. She had her arms slung low across her stomach and a grin I couldn’t quite read on her lips. It was one of those feral girl smirks. I didn’t know Nikki well at all. Her behavior today surprised me, and I didn’t know if I could trust her with the world’s biggest secret. Regardless, she knew it.
“No, I want to go home,” I said.