Desperate (Harris Trilogy Book One) (9 page)

His tongue slipped between her lips and he gave her a deep, long kiss. She relaxed and wrapped her hands in his hair. He began to move inside her again. The pain subsided and Kate began to move with David. Her breathing became labored and her movements intensified. As his hips rocked against her, she writhed beneath him.

Something strange was happening. She felt the most odd sensation building.
Her body trembled as she climaxed and felt an intense burst of heat. David groaned loudly, tilted his head back, and closed his eyes. He gripped her thighs and kept slamming into her. With one final thrust, he grunted and collapsed. He rolled off of her gasping for breath. 

N
ever in her life had she felt anything as magnificent as making love. Curling her nude body against David, she fell into a deep sleep.       

****

Kate woke up alone. She grabbed the pillow beside her head and placed it over her face needing more sleep. The pillow smelled of David and she felt tingling between her legs. Last night had been one of the most momentous nights of her life. He made her feel special and loved. Something she wondered if she would ever feel again.

She listened but didn’t hear
David moving around in the front section of the tent. He must have returned to the battle.

She had slept very little since it was so late when she went to sleep, and w
as still exhausted but content. She had never felt so happy in her life. She was in love with Captain David Harris. The passion they shared last night had been amazing. 

She hoped
he did not think her too bold. Memories of her mother surfaced. Her mother had always conveyed, “Never sleep with a man unless he married you.”

Funny
, she didn’t feel it was a sin. Something that wonderful couldn’t be wrong. Anyway she was sure he would propose after what they shared last night.    

Kicking back the covers, she
dressed in her male garb. A couple of cold biscuits of sausage were left on the table and she devoured them quickly before heading straight to the field hospital. Even though she dreaded the day ahead, she could not wait to see David again that night. She could withstand anything knowing she would return to his tent to sleep with him. Their days may be filled with death and turmoil, but their nights would be sweet. Her cheeks turned red thinking about their night of passion. She had enjoyed it immensely and couldn’t wait to make love again. 

When she arrived at the field hospital, she was shocked to find Thomas Jackson had be
en shot by one of his own men. She hated to see the powerful leader so pale and still. Doctor Jacob Greene had sedated him so he was quiet, bearing his pain in silence. Jacob informed her there was a possibility Jackson would lose his arm. 

Unable to watch any longer, Kate threw herself
into her work with a vengeance. She changed bandages, fed soldiers, cleaned wounds, and assisted with surgeries. The day was a painful repeat of the day before. How long could the battle continue? Her female perspective stumped her. She was struggling to comprehend how men could enjoy war. All the death and waste was impossible for her to understand.

Kate stopped by Adam’s
cot. “Jake, I hear I have you to thank for saving my leg. I’m beholding you kept old saw bones away from me.” Still in a lot of pain, his voice sounded winded.

She
smiled shyly, “You would have done the same for me. Besides, it is Doctor Greene who saved your leg. He is a wonderful field surgeon.”

She placed a hand to his forehead. “You’re running a fever. Do you feel okay?” She studied his face, noting the dark rings under his eyes.

“My leg hurts like hell.”

She pushed the sheet to the side and saw the bandage wrapped around his leg was covered with blood. No one had taken the time to change it.
Her skin went cold. She would hate for his leg to be amputated after Jacob had spent so much time operating to save it.

The quini
ne had been used up yesterday. She poured him a liberal amount of whiskey into a tin cup. “I’m sorry, Adam. This is the only pain killer and antiseptic left.”

Cupping her hand to his neck, she lifted him to a sitting position and placed the cup to his lips. A grimace on his face, he sputtered, “I don’t know how people can drink that swill.” He fell back to the pillow
. “My father would not be very proud of me.”

She placed her hand on his shoulder. “Maybe the whiskey will alleviate some of the pain.”
A devout Christian, Adam had never drunk liquor. “Under the circumstances I’m sure your father would empathize.”

“Thank you, Jake.”

She cleaned his wound and wrapped it in a fresh bandage hoping it would help fight off some of the infection. Before she finished, an angry voice caused her to shudder. “Private Monroe, your services are needed elsewhere. You cannot spend all your time with one patient.”

She stood and met the bloodshot eyes of Dr. Williams. “Prepare the soldier for surgery.” He pointed a bloody hand toward the young man
lying in a cot with a stomach wound.

Doing as she was told, Kate
dropped to her knees and removed the crimson, bloody sheet from the man’s abdomen. She cleaned the area where the young man had been shot. At least he was unconscious and she didn’t have to listen to him moaning in pain.

Twenty minutes later
, she continued her duties of emptying bedpans, changing dressings, and washing men laying in their own filth with steely determination. The day drug on and it was quickly growing dark.

Dr. Greene and Dr. Williams had
not stopped in forty-eight hours. The opportunity to rest was not an option. The injured and dying soldiers kept coming, like ants at a picnic. Williams would stop to get a drink of whiskey and trudge on.

Anxious to get back to the tent she was sharing with
David, Kate slipped away before dark. She hoped he was there waiting for her. When she entered, the tent was quiet, and seemed bereft because he had not yet returned. 

She quickly removed her bloody clothes and the hated binding from her body, an
d began washing the filth away. When she washed between her legs, she felt the soreness in her thighs, and remembered her night of making love with David. She hoped he would return soon.  

Scrubbing until her skin turned
pink, she washed away all evidence of her terrible day before David returned. His day had probably been worse than hers since the men being injured and killed were his men. Feeling melancholy, she had an urgent need to see him. After the horrible day she had, she needed him to hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay.

For hours Kate lay in bed
fighting sleep. A light breeze gently whipped at the tent. She could hear a lonely soldier playing “My Old Kentucky Home” on a harmonica and then “Dixie”. He must be so homesick. How many days, weeks, or years had he been away from his family?  

She thought of
her father sitting by the fire at night after a long day in the fields playing his harmonica. She missed her family terribly, but now she would make new memories with David. They would have a house full of children, and many years of happiness together. She couldn’t wait until they were married.  

The lull of the music
and her exhaustion took over. Unable to hold her eyes open any longer, she fell into a deep sleep.

****

The next morning Kate woke with a nagging sense of unease. David had not returned. Her first thought was he had been injured or worse. She wanted to go look for him, but that would only cause suspicion. Instead she decided to go back to the field hospital to help out. If he had been injured, that is where they would take him.

Noth
ing had changed from yesterday. Still more injured soldiers. “When will it end?” thought Kate. She went to work with a lack of enthusiasm. If she felt this defeated, how did the doctors feel?

Kate
decided to check on Adam. Thankfully, his fever had subsided and he seemed to be out of danger of losing his leg. 

She had a heavy he
art. She needed to see David. If only she knew he was okay, she would be better prepared to handle the day ahead of her. Convincing herself the battle was keeping him away, she tried to stop worrying. 

To keep David off her mind, she moved to the operating table where Dr. Greene was removing a bullet from a soldier’s shoulder.
“I’ll take over. Go take a break.” She didn’t have to offer twice. The attending soldier took off in such a hurry, he didn’t even say thank you.

She dabbed at the blood oozing from the wound.
“You are very adept at helping the sick and injured soldiers. I’m very impressed with your abilities. You have an iron will and seem devoted to your fellow soldier.”

“Thank you, Dr. Green
e. I’m not too proud to admit at first I was scared to death. It took me a while to adjust. My grandmother was a natural healer and I learned a lot from her, but nothing she ever taught me could prepare me for this. I don’t see how you do this day after day. It must be so depressing watching all these young men, some of them only boys, die.”

As he fi
nished stitching the ghastly wound, Jacob smiled and replied, “I wish I could say you get accustomed to the death, but you never do. I do what I can and the rest is in God’s hands. We appreciate all the care you have given the injured, son. Maybe you should consider a profession as a doctor when you are older.”   

The compliments made Kate feel better as she carri
ed on her care of the soldiers. It was dirty work. Some of the patients had dysentery and it was a chore to keep them clean. Sanitation was a problem. The medical equipment and facilities were not sanitary causing disease and sickness to spread quickly. Some of the patients contracted malaria and typhoid. As the day wore on, things only got worse.

Dr. Greene covered the young man
he had just performed surgery with a sheet. He closed his eyes and said a quick prayer. Two soldiers removed the body, washed the blood off the operating table, which was no more that a board covered with a sheet, and placed another injured soldier in his place. Tired and close to collapsing, Dr. Greene squared his shoulders, took the scalpel into his hand, and cut into the soldier’s leg to remove the metal ball. At this point more men were dying than they were able to save.

By the end of the day
, Kate was so weary she could hardly carry herself back to her quarters she was sharing with David.

She pulled back the flap to the tent and entered. Resentment tightened her belly. He
still was not in residence. What if he had been killed and no one came to tell her? No that was not possible. Even though she was not on speaking terms with Lieutenant Emerson, he would at least let her know if something had happened to David. Besides, she would know in her heart if he had not survived. He was okay.

She scrubbed until her skin was clean trying to remove all the germs from the day so she would not get sick herself. 

Kate decided to sleep in the nude because she was feeling bold. She wanted David to know how much she needed and wanted him. Surely he would be pleased with her new found courage. 

Hearing movement in the
front section of the tent, she wrapped herself in a blanket anxious to speak to David. Mesmerized, she stood in the middle of the tent and watched him fill a glass with whiskey. In one swallow he drained its contents and poured another. Obviously, something was bothering him. 

As if sensing her presence
, he turned and saw her standing there. She smiled but his expression was serious and he said nothing. Instead he lifted the glass to his lips and took another drink. It looked as if he had not slept. His eyes were swollen and his shoulders slumped.

“What is wrong, David?
Has something happened?”  

Raki
ng his eyes over her body, he ordered, “Put your night shirt on, we need to talk.” 

Kate felt dejected.
She dressed slowly knowing by the tone of his voice she was not going to like what he had to say. She walked over, and sat down beside him on the small cot where they had made love. 

Placi
ng his glass on the table, he took her hand in his. Her hand looked so small compared to his. He looked directly in her eyes. “I have always tried to be a man of honor.” His gorgeous face masked with pain caused her to become uneasy. “I did not know you were a virgin. I would never have taken that from you if I had known. That is something you should have been able to give your husband on your wedding night. I took that away from you and I will always feel guilty for my weakness.”

The color drained from her face and her voice quavered.
“I gave my virginity to you because I thought you loved me. I love you and I thought you loved me too.”

He
ran his fingers through his hair. “Kate, I am engaged to be married. As soon as the war is over, I am to marry my neighbor, Abigail Weatherly. She has waited for me and I am an honorable man and must live up to my obligations to her, and my family.”

A sheath of ice covered her whole body.
Pulling her hand away from his, she lifted it to her chest. She took several deep breaths to slow her heart rate. “Why did you make love to me?”