Desperate (Harris Trilogy Book One) (13 page)

“
Thank goodness no, Mrs. Harris. My gender had been discovered before I had to participate in a battle. David asked me to help at the field hospital until the battle at Chancellorsville was over. My grandmother was a healer and she taught me a lot about natural remedies. So I assisted with surgery, administered medicine, and changed bandages. I watched so many of our young men and boys lose limbs because there were only two field surgeons to try to save them. Many died from infections because there was not enough medicine. There were not enough supplies or proper nutrition for the injured soldiers. The conditions were deplorable.” She visibly shuttered remembering what the patients endured.

“I admire you.
I would have swooned at the first sight of blood. You must have a constitution of iron.”   

“It was horrific at first, but
I had to do something to help. I had no idea of the conditions our troops were enduring. I can’t wait until the war is over and they can come home.” 

Edward raised his glass of tea in the air and toasted Kate. “I couldn’t have said it better myself.
I can’t wait until David, Mike, and all our Southern troops are home to stay, and we can return to our normal lives. Just the thought of having both our sons and our daughter, Dana, home gives me hope.” As if his throat were suddenly dry, he took a sip of tea. “The will of God and our hope is what will pull us through to the end.”  

Pushing back his chair, Mike stood.
“If I’m going to spend any time with my parents I had better get going. Supper was delicious, Myra. Thank you for inviting me.”

Serious dark eyes pierced Kate. “P
lease don’t venture outside until tomorrow after we return to our company. I would hate for one of the men to recognize you.”

A mischievous smile on her face, she saluted Mike.
“I promise to use caution, Lieutenant Emerson.”

He gave her a slight nod. “Please do so, Kate.
I would hate for Captain Harris to get into trouble. We will be leaving early in the morning, and then it should be safe for you to leave the house.” 

He bent and gave Myra’s hand a gallant kiss. “Thanks for your hospitality.”
Mike and Edward shook hands as he said his goodbyes. With one last glance at her, he turned and walked straight out the back door.

****

Hearing a knock on her door, Kate turned away from the mirror where she sat brushing her hair and replied, “Come in.”

Lizzy popped her head aroun
d the door and smiled sweetly. “Miss Monroe, you have a visitor in da parlor.”

C
urious to know who her visitor was, she dressed in a hurry. Not many people knew she was at Harris Plantation. When she entered the parlor, she found Mike nervously pacing the room. She stood back and admired his handsome face and muscular body. He was a fine specimen of a man. “Hello, Lieutenant Emerson.”

“Kate, don’t you think you can call me Mike after all we’ve been through together.”

She huffed, “I think Lieutenant Emerson will do, thank you.”

He gave a hoot of laughter.
“You are such a spitfire. I’m really beginning to admire you.”

She raised an eyebrow.
“That’s hard to believe when you are always making me so angry.”

“I promise it is not m
y intention to make you angry.” His expression softened. “I thought I would say goodbye before heading back to my company. It has been a pleasure to spend time with you. I hope we can remain friends. I would like to see you again after the war is over.”

“I’m not making any promises.”
After their past history, she wasn’t sure she wanted to be his friend.

“Kate, if you are wai
ting for David, you can stop wasting your time. He is engaged and plans on going through with his marriage to Abigail.” His voice was controlled, but had a chilling edge in his tone. “I can tell the way you look at him that you are in love with him.”

It hurt, and she held onto the pain. However true his words, she didn’t want to hear them.
“Mind your own business, Lieutenant.”

“I apologize for getting into your affairs, but I’m worried abo
ut you. You’re very young to be making mistakes that will be with you for the rest of your life. Mooning over David is a huge mistake. Find someone else and move on.” 

Perhaps
he hoped to be that someone else. It would be a cold day in hell before she could trust him. “Don’t worry about me, Lieutenant. I can look after myself. I’ve been doing it since my parents died.” She hated to be reminded that David was engaged to be married. Life without him left a sick feeling in her stomach.

With slow deliberate steps he crossed the room.
Gathering her hands in his, he looked deeply into her eyes. “I would like to court you after the war. I know we got off on the wrong foot, but I think we can move beyond what happened.”

“I don’t know, Mi
ke.” It was the first time she had ever called him by his first name. It sounded strange because she still thought of him as her Lieutenant; the man that taught her to be a good soldier. “I don’t know if I can ever forgive you for almost raping me.”

Agitated, he
held her hands tighter as if he feared she would not hear him out. “How many times must I apologize? I wish I could go back to that night. I would never have acted like a cad. I am attracted to you and want to be with you. I think you are a courageous, beautiful, strong, young, woman. Give me some time to prove my devotion and admiration for you.”

Honesty was the best policy
. Perhaps she shouldn’t give him false hope. “I am in love with David. I hate to admit it. I know he is engaged to another woman but I can’t help my feelings. God, I wish I could.”

“In time you can forget him.
Just give me a chance to help you forget.” 

She
tried to pull her hands from Mike’s grasp, but he would not release them. She sighed in exasperation. “I cannot make a decision now. I need time to work out my problems on my own.”

She saw the hope in his eyes
, hope she should not be giving him. Never could she have feelings for a man that tried to rape her.

“I’ll write you Kate, and if you leave Harris Plantation
please let me know where you relocate. If nothing else, we can be friends.”

She forced a smile.
“Friends it is, Mike.”

“Goodbye, Kate.
It has certainly been an honor getting to know you.” He lifted both her hands to his lips, and kissed them sensually before he turned and walked out the door.

She padded to the window and pulled back the curtain.
He was a handsome man, but she just did not get a thrill when he touched her as she did when David touched her. He mounted his horse, and as if he felt her eyes upon him, he looked straight at the window where she stood. He smiled and saluted before reining his horse around and galloping away, the other two soldiers following behind. How did her life get so complicated?

****

It felt wonderful to don a dress, and look like a female again. Kate ran her hands over the simple dress Lizzy altered to fit her. Even though it was nothing fancy, it was still nicer than any dress she ever owned. She was almost glad the deception was over and she could be herself without any pretense. The stress of walking, talking, and thinking like a man had been difficult.

She ran down the stairs in a rush to see the rest of th
e plantation grounds. Never had she seen a more beautiful place in her life. The sun shone brightly as she walked to the back of the house. Big, green plants growing against the house were breathtaking. Huge trees shaded the backyard. Flowers lined the walkway with a burst of color. Red, white, pink, purple, the colors were vibrant and gorgeous. 

She continued
along the walkway until she came to the small cabins that housed the slaves who worked the fields surrounding the plantation. Dark skinned women, some tending to children, and some cooking in big kettles over fires, worked or lounged in front of the cabins. Cabins that looked nothing like the stories she had heard. She had heard terrible stories of slaves living in shacks in danger of falling down upon them. The cabins looked sturdy and comfortable. It was evident the Harris family did not treat their slaves like animals.

One, tall, thin woman with a baby propped on her hip stood and waved. Several children ran around her feet giggling, playing, enjoying being young without responsibilities.
The Harris family must be very rich. There were rows and rows of the neat cabins. 

In the distance she
saw the stables and decided to venture inside. As she strolled along the alley way she was amazed. She didn’t know much about horseflesh, but they looked like powerful animals. All were tall and muscular. A huge, black horse stomped and snorted as she passed by. He was very intimidating, so she kept her distance from his dangerous hooves.

In the last stall was Betsy, the horse
she rode to Harris Plantation. Mike must have left the gentle horse there for her to ride since the other horses seemed too high strung for someone with her limited experience. Betsy neighed when she saw Kate. “Betsy! I’m so glad to see you.” She wrapped her arms around Betsy’s head and was thrilled when she returned the gesture with a warm nuzzle.

“Would you like to go for a ride, Kate?”

She whirled around to see Myra’s warm smile. Dressed in a well fitting riding habit, she looked very pretty. “You can wear one of my riding habits until we can get you fitted for some new clothes. It may be a little long, but it will suffice.”

“I would love to go for a ride.  I want to see the
rest of your beautiful plantation.”

Chapter
Seven

As the two women rode along Harris land, Kate was amazed at the gorgeous view. There were fields of cotton and tobacco as far as the eye could see. Slaves worked in the fields with the warm, spring, sun bearing down on them. Sweat gleamed on their muscular bodies as they chopped and weeded the neat rows of cotton. They were singing “Amazing Grace” in harmony as they labored in the sun. Their voices were the most beautiful Kate had ever heard.

“Your lovely plantation is nothing like the horrid stories I have heard about sl
aves being beaten and starved. Everyone seems to be treated kindly.”

“We
treat them like human beings. We have never flogged anyone, and we make sure they have proper nutrition. Without the essentials of life: shelter, food, and medical attention, they couldn’t be productive.”

I
mpressed with Myra’s kindness, she asked. “Have you had any slaves run away to the North?”

“Yes, we have lost a few.
We have put up posters offering rewards hoping they will be returned because we have spent money for them. I have to admit the war has taken a toll on us. Adding to the financial burden of losing slaves, we have also spent every spare cent to help with the war effort, as well as most of our neighbors.”

Her tone changed.
“Speaking of neighbors, David informed me my grandfather, Roy Talbert, has a plantation close by. Are you friends with him?”

“Yes, I consider him a friend
. After your grandmother’s death he has become somewhat of a recluse. Rarely does he attend social functions or appear in public.”

Myra tilted her head and smiled. “
I knew your mother when she ran away with Roy’s overseer. Your grandfather and grandmother were devastated. It’s hard for you to understand, but your mother broke your grandparents’ hearts.”

The light in her eyes dimmed with worry. “
David conveyed in his letter you are angry about the situation and will have nothing to do with him. I really think you should give him a chance to explain and forgive him. I know for a fact Roy would be ecstatic to know he has a granddaughter.”

Just speaking of her grandfather had her temper rising.
“No, I will never forgive him for denouncing my mother. My parents were hopelessly in love. I can’t believe he forbad her to marry him, all because of his social standing. My grandfather is a snob.”

Myra pleaded with her to understand.
“I’m sure if he had it to do over again, he would handle the situation much differently. He lost his only child because of his stubbornness. I’m sure he saw the mistake he made after it was too late.” 

K
ate raised her chin stubbornly. “I’m sorry, Myra. I just don’t want to speak of him ever again. Please don’t tell him I am here. I plan on leaving as soon as I find employment. There is no reason to notify him because I will not be here long.”

“It is your decision, Kate.
I just think you are giving up on a chance to be with your last living family member. Take it from someone older and wiser; sometimes it is best to forgive and forget.” 

F
or over an hour they rode in total silence. The countryside was so lovely, Kate was fascinated. Her bad mood couldn’t last in the surrounding beauty. The rolling hills, huge lush trees, and well-tended fields were so appealing to the eye.

In the distance, Kate saw a cloud of dust. Hand above her eyes to block out the sun, she stood in the stirrups so she could get a better look. A horse and its rider thundered over the terrain.
They both reined in their horses and waited for the solitary rider. 

Shocked at the sight of the
magnificent, black horse barreling down on them, Kate gripped the saddle horn with both hands. Betsy sidestepped almost causing her to fall from her back. Gaining control of her horse, she fought the urge to scream at the rider for being so careless. The rider roughly jerked on the reins stopping her horse, which was lathered with flanks heaving, his nostrils flaring.

“Hello, Abigail.
How are you today?”

“Fine thank you, Myra.”

Odd, Myra didn’t seem surprised at Abigail’s unladylike behavior. She felt sympathy for the horse because he looked as if he had been ridden pretty hard. Drool dripped from his mouth and he chewed on the bit as if he were in pain.

“Abigail, this is Kate Monroe.
She is visiting for a few days.”

Her
hands clenched and unclenched around the reins of her horse. So this was the woman David was going to marry. Long jet-black hair, rosy complexion, tall, and lean, she was gorgeous. Her riding habit, which was made of very expensive cloth, looked fabulous on her thin body. Kate immediately hated her.

Abigail tipped her head
as she tossed back her black tresses. “Hello, it is nice to meet you.”

She
tried to give a genuine smile, but it was extremely difficult to manage under the circumstances. “Hello.”

Completely ignoring Kate, Abigail turned her attention to My
ra. “Have you gotten a letter from David this week?”

“No, not this week, I’m sure he is very bus
y and hasn’t had time to write. David’s last letter conveyed the fighting has intensified. Have you not received a letter this week?”

“No, and I’m worried
. It is not like him.” She dug into her pocket, pulled out a fancy, lace handkerchief, and dabbed at the dust on her face. “He has written me every week since he left to serve. This is the first week I have not heard from him.” Her bottom lip poked out like a spoiled child as she pouted.

“I’m su
re he has good reason, Abigail. Please stop your fretting.” 

It hurt Kate to
hear Abigail talk about David. How would she react if she knew she had slept with her fiancé and was madly in love with him?

They
rode back to Harris Plantation together. Abigail chatted happily, mostly about the wedding she was planning, and Myra listened. A knot as big as her fist formed in her stomach thinking about David and Abigail spending the rest of their lives together. She had no chance against someone as spirited and gorgeous as Miss Weatherly.

Later b
ack at the house, they sat on the south terrace. “Would you like to join us for tea, Abigail?”

“I would love to,” she
answered.

Myra called for Lizzy. “Would you please bring us some ice tea?”

With a nod, Lizzy disappeared into the house.

Kate couldn’t tolerate
being in the company of the woman any longer. “I think I’ll go to my room and rest before lunch, Myra. I’ve been traveling for several days and I’m exhausted.” Anxious to be away from the beautiful Abigail, she pushed her chair back and stood.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, Myra, I’m fine.”

Alone in her room she fell onto her bed. She
pressed her face into her pillow and cried. She hated herself for falling in love with a man that did not love her. How could she have been so naïve? Two nights of passion would be the only thing they would ever share.

****

Even though she had much to do, Myra tapped down her impatience and took a sip of her tea. Abigail lived a pampered life and would probably stay most of the day. The thought of having to entertain her had her biting her lower lip.

Watching Myra over her glass
as she sipped, Abigail asked, “How do you know Kate?”

“Her moth
er and I were friends long ago. She is staying for several days. I am enjoying her company. She is very sweet.”

J
ealousy showed on Abigail’s face. It was apparent she felt threatened by Kate. “What happened to her hair? It would be much prettier if it wasn’t so short.”

Myra couldn’t beli
eve Abigail’s cruelty at times. It boggled her mind how David could enjoy her company. “I love her short hair. It is adorable on her.”

With a quick change of
the subject, Abigail stated, “Let’s talk about my wedding.” She curled a lock of hair around her finger, and squirmed with excitement. “I have ordered white silk from Paris for my dress.”

Inside
Myra groaned. She thought Abigail selfish to be planning a wedding during such trying times. Never did she speak of the horrors of war, or mention that people in the South were strapped for money. She only thought about herself. Total opposites, she worried Abigail would make David miserable after they married. 

However, her son
was responsible for his own life so she never questioned him about his decision to propose to Abigail. Still she couldn’t understand his attraction to someone so petty and selfish. 

****

Mike saluted David as soon as he entered his office. Moving away from the maps strewn across his desk, he faced Mike eager to hear Kate arrived at his parents’ plantation safely. “At ease, soldier.” Not wanting to sound too eager, he attempted to keep his tone calm. “I take it everything went well?”

“Yes sir, Private Monroe is settled in at Harris Plantation, and your mother has welcomed her with open arms.”

The relief showed on David’s face. “As I knew she would.” He moved back to the maps and studied them for a moment. Seems Mike had something on his mind because he just stood there watching him. “Hot coffee’s on the table. Pour you a cup.”

“No, thank you.”
Bluntly, Mike asked, “Can we speak as friends, David?”

“Sure Mike,
speak your mind.” In his gut he knew what Mike wanted to ask.

He took a long steady breath. “
I would like to know your intentions toward Kate.”

David quirked his brow, and inquired, “What did Kate tell you about our relationship?”

“Nothing, I know she is in love with you. A person would have to be blind not to see it. I told her she was wasting her time mooning after you because you were marrying Abigail.”

David shot him a single hard look.
“Not that it is any of your business Mike, but I asked to her to be my mistress.”

Mike raised a questioning brow, and asked, “What did she say to that unsavory offer?”

“She told me to go to hell.”

“I’m glad she ha
s some pride. She is a spitfire, isn’t she?”

“Wha
t is your interest here, Mike?” David did not like Mike butting into his affairs.

“I would l
ike to court her after the war. I have come to admire her courage and spirit. I just wanted to make sure you are okay with my intentions to pursue Kate.”

Unable to hide his anger, he stepped closer to Mike
, fists clenched as his sides. “Have you touched her?” 

“Of course
not, I now know she is a lady. I will treat her with respect and my feelings are completely honorable.”

“I’ve
seen how honorable you are. You would have raped her if I had not intervened. Under the circumstances, I feel you should keep your distance from Kate.” David took a deep breath to control his anger.

Mike replied in disgust,
“I had no idea she was a lady. I felt only an unchaste woman would dress as a man and join the war. I feel terrible and know she may never forgive me but I will try to make it up to her. I made a terrible mistake.”

“Stay away from her,”
David hissed through clenched teeth.

“Y
ou compromised her didn’t you? That’s why you want me to leave her alone. You took her innocence and now you think she belongs to you.” Mike’s expression was growing darker.

“
That’s none of your business.” David moved back to the table of papers. “The interrogation is over.” Angrily pointing toward the door, he shouted, “Get out.”

“You have no hold on Kate.
I don’t care how you feel. I’m going to pursue her after the war is over. Don’t forget you are engaged to Abigail. You can’t have them both.” He stormed out of David’s quarters slamming the door behind him.

God, he was steaming mad.
He couldn’t tolerate the thought of another man touching Kate. Fury bubbled under his skin as he raked all the papers onto the floor. It would take some persuasion on his part, but she would become his mistress.