Desperate (Harris Trilogy Book One) (7 page)

Emerson gave Captain Harris an
exaggerated salute, “Yes, Sir.” He reined his horse back into formation.

E
ven though she was still angry with his arrogance, she felt safe when he was by her side.      When she glanced at Emerson and saw the fury on his face, she shivered. She would have to be sure to stay clear of him. 

Kate and David rode the res
t of the day without speaking. Both were worried. Kate about what she was going to do to keep David from sending her back home. He worried about the battle ahead. How many more men and boys would die before this terrible war was over?

****

On the evening of May 1, 1863, Captain Harris’ Infantry marched into the wilderness area. General Lee and Stonewall Jackson’s armies were already there. After months of inactivity, they were spoiling for a fight.

Kate couldn’t b
elieve all the gray uniforms. There were men as far as she could see. Apprehensive being the only female in sight had her heart pounding. When Kate dismounted from her horse, her legs almost buckled under her. Pain vibrated through her whole body from the hours spent in the saddle. Head resting against the side of the saddle she bit her bottom lip.

“Are you okay?”

She made an effort to smile at David. “Yes, I’m not accustomed to riding.” She walked around slowly until she had feeling in her legs again. Her whole body still ached.

David moved away from his horse and handed her a canteen. She lifted it to her lips and took several swallows.
“I have to meet with the other commanders. After the men get my tent set up, wait for me there. Talk to no one. Go nowhere.” He left her standing there looking at his back as he walked away.

It was very late when David
arrived back at his quarters. As soon as Kate saw him, she knew he was in a dark mood. She was almost afraid to speak to him. 

She
whispered, “Are you okay?” 

“I’m worried because the Yankees hav
e many more troops than we do. I hate to lose any more lives for a war we may not win. So many have already perished. There will be many more lost tomorrow.” The verbal picture he painted made her heart quiver in her chest.

Fighting the urge to touch him, she
whispered, “I wish I could do something to ease your pain.”

David g
ave her a long lingering look. She saw that look and her heart beat rapidly, knowing she wouldn’t refuse him if he tried to kiss her. He finally looked away and stated in a firm tone, “Go to bed Kate, we’ll talk in the morning.”

A
s she ambled from the room David’s gaze was drawn to her. She was wearing one of his shirts, which was much too big and baggy for her, and she seemed so young and vulnerable. 

I
t didn’t matter what she chose to wear. Knowing what was hiding beneath the baggy shirt made him want her desperately. He knew he was in a dilemma. The longer she was in his presence, the more he feared succumbing to his desire for her.

****

Early the next morning Kate woke to moonlight streaming into the entrance of the tent. Last night she had trouble sleeping because she could not keep David Harris from her thoughts. She admired him. He was the most honorable, gorgeous, descent man, she had ever known. By the way he was looking at her last night, he was also attracted to her.

Smelling a pungent
odor, Kate gazed across the small space inside the tent and saw David sitting in a chair near the entrance deep in thought. Shadows caused his profile to look dangerous. The smoke from his cigar swirled around him and she wondered what he was thinking. Quietly, she slipped out of bed and walked to where he sat. Blue eyes met hers and her heart almost stopped at the pain she saw in them.

“Is there a
nything I can do to help today? I can’t just sit here and twiddle my thumbs. I need something to occupy my mind or I will go crazy with worry.”

With long fingers he rubbed the stubble on his cheek.
In a brisk voice he stated, “I’m not sending you into battle.”

“I’m not asking you to, but surely the
re is something else I can do. I helped my grandmother. She was a natural healer. I have some abilities with healing.” 

Taking a deep draw from his cigar, David slowly blew the smoke into the cool morning air.
After what seemed an eternity he stated, “There are some tents set up for the injured soldiers. It may be pretty gory but you could assist the doctors if you think you can handle it. I will have you escorted there. But, you must wear your uniform. We don’t want anyone to find out you are a woman.”

She smiled shyly.
“Thank you. I would rather be busy and be of some help, than to stay here and worry.”

He stood and peered down at her
standing just inches from him. She stared into his sensual eyes for what seemed like forever before he finally bent and kissed her lips. She fought the urge to wrap her arms around his neck and pull him close. Pure passion, it could not be described as anything else.

Abruptly, David stepped away from Kate as if he feared what he would do if he st
ayed. “I will see you later tonight.” He turned and quickly went through the entrance of the tent prepared for the battle ahead. She shivered as she touched her lips where he had kissed her. She would be counting the minutes until tonight. 

Kate dressed in her male garb
, and exited the tent to find a young soldier waiting for her. He escorted her to some huge tents set up in a clearing. In awe of her surroundings, she saw makeshift beds and cots waiting to be filled with injured soldiers. Doctors were busy arranging medical instruments, and preparing to save lives. 

Kate approached a tall, young, doctor with shoulder length
, blond hair tied back with a piece of leather. “Hi, I’m Jake, and I have been sent to assist in any way that I can.” 

“I’m
Doctor Jacob Greene.” He had to be at least six foot four inches tall. He was so tall she had to look up to see into his handsome face. He was also very muscular with a massive chest. When Kate thought of doctors, he was not what came to mind. 

“Jake
, we need lots of water. Go to the creek and start filling buckets with water. Anything you can find to put water in, use it. Thanks, we really appreciate your help.”

****

A heavy, white mist penetrated the forest as Captain David Harris looked at the young soldiers readying for battle. Many of them too young to understand what they were fighting for. Most didn’t own slaves, but had been forced to fight. But then the war wasn’t just about slavery. It went much deeper than that.

He could see General Lee astride his gray mount, Traveler, gi
ving commands in the distance. David always felt agitated before battle. His black gelding, Midnight, stomped underneath him as if sensing his mood. He hated not being in control and he never knew what to expect in battle.

Lieutenant Emerson drew his horse next to David and saluted. “The men are ready, Captain.”

David patted Midnight’s thick neck to calm the animal. When he had control of his horse, he offered Emerson his hand giving him a firm handshake. “Good luck, Mike.” His Lieutenant gave him a solemn nod and another salute before galloping his horse to his men and taking his place among them. Back ramrod straight and eyes staring straight ahead, he removed his saber with a flourish and waited for David’s command.

The sun broke over the trees
and with it the fog began to dissipate. Full of color and light, the clearing in the middle of the Virginia forest was beautiful. Green trees, wild flowers, he took a moment to take in all the peace and wonder. In a nearby tree he heard a woodpecker hammering on a tree.

From the hill David could see the Yankees lined up in b
attle formation causing his stomach to lurch. A long line of blue uniforms at attention, weapons raised and ready, as far as the eye could see looked ominous as the morning sun inched toward them.

In mere minutes the beauty would be gone
, and in its place blood would cover the ground. A general in full Union regalia raced his horse in front of the young men shouting orders to pump them up for the battle ahead. Sword high in the air, he looked regal and proud mounted on his mighty white steed. In the distance he saw the red, white, and blue of the Union flag, heard the band playing.

The urge to turn his horse around and head home was strong. The thought of another battle
caused the knots in his stomach to intensify. Emotion swamped him as he did his best to pull his thoughts together for his men. He was a captain in the Confederate Army and he had responsibilities.

The commanders all received their orders and led their men toward the Union forces.
He looked at Lieutenant Emerson and gave a slight nod. His saber swiped through the air and he shouted, “Attack.”

The Rebel yell was deafening as they raced forward on horseback. Men without benefit of a horse followed behind at a full run
, weapons ready to fire.     

Man after man fell to their deaths as they met on the battlefield. The death and carnage would forever be in his mind. Until his dying day he would have nightmares.

After several hours of brutal fighting, they had the Yankees on the run, but it had been at a heavy cost. Lee and his men had struck a surprise maneuver, and smashed through the Union defenses. The Yankees retreated eastward.

There were so many dead soldiers’ bodies littered across the terrain, men from th
e South and North. The numbers were staggering. As night fell the battle was called off because of the wooded terrain of the Virginia forest giving the remaining soldiers a chance to rest. Still he didn’t feel any peace. In the morning the battle would continue, more men would die. 

****

After the exertion of hauling water for several hours, Kate was exhausted. Then the inevitable happened. The injured soldiers started arriving. Kate had no idea what she had gotten herself into. 

There were only
two field surgeons for the hundreds of injured soldiers. Doctor Jacob Greene, was young and vibrant, Doctor Williams, older and a drunk. Kate could tell Doctor Williams was already drunk before he began to operate on the first soldier. The young man had a bullet in his abdomen. Thank goodness he was already unconscious and did not feel Doctor Williams clumsily probing around his abdomen for the mangled piece of metal.

Kate helped by trying to keep the wound swa
bbed while the doctor operated. Doctor Williams yelled at her when she bumped his arm while trying to reach the young soldier’s wound. She could smell the liquor on his breath. The man was not decent enough to be performing surgery on a horse, let alone a human.

Doctor Jacob Greene on the othe
r hand was an excellent doctor. He had compassion and spoke and joked with the soldiers as he wrapped wounds, stitched, and performed operations. Kate decided she liked working with him and tried to stay away from Doctor Williams as much as possible.

Too many soldiers were being carri
ed into the makeshift hospital. Many had to remain on the litter that carried them to the field hospital until an operating table was available. If the soldier died, she was instructed to find the handkerchief or piece of paper on his person with his name and address, and then pin it to his uniform so someone could contact his family to let them know of his death. There were so many she felt hopeless. How would they ever catch up? There was chaos everywhere. Bile rose in her throat and she had to fight to keep it down. Men were crying for their mamas, moaning from all the pain, and the stench of death was in the air. 

Just when she
thought she could bear no more, she saw Adam lying on a litter being brought in. She ran to his side and took his hand. Blood oozed from a wound on his leg. “Adam, can you hear me?” 

In a
weak voice he whispered, “Jake, I need something for pain. He clutched Kate’s sleeve and pulled her close. “Please give me something.” Pale as a sheet from loss of blood, she feared he would pass out.

She
helped Adam sit so she could give him some quinine. “Thanks, Jake, the pain is horrendous, almost more than I can stand.”

Doctor William
s came to look at Adam’s wound. “Private, get me the saw, I will have to amputate his leg.” Kate felt the color leave her face. The thought of Adam losing his leg caused her chest to ache.

She mustered up her courage.
“Can’t you save it, Doctor?”

C
ontempt showed on his face. Waving his bloody hand toward the injured and dying, he snapped, “Do you not see how many injured men we have to see to? There is no time to save limbs, only lives.”

Perhaps he was correct, but it was Adam, someone she knew.
They had become close friends and she could not tolerate the thought of him losing his leg without at least making an attempt to help save it from amputation.

She
ran to Doctor Greene and put her hand on his arm. “Doctor Greene, will you please look at my friend’s leg? Doctor Williams is going to amputate. Please see if you can save it!” She saw the hesitation in Doctor Greene’s eyes. Williams was the senior doctor and Kate knew he did not want to upset protocol. “Please.”