Descending Surfacing (20 page)

‘
I’m a single mum too,’ said Carly. ‘Erin’s dad helps out a bit but he’s pretty useless.’

‘
Oh, Adam’s dad isn’t around either.  I’ve got loads of good friends though.’

‘
You really need your friends, don’t you, if you’re a single mum?’ Carly agreed.

‘
I hope you come along every week, Emily,’ said Lisa, and the others smiled too. ‘We’re all sending our kids to this school. It would be nice if Adam went too.’

‘
I’m expecting my third,’ said Shanice. ‘He will be in the same class as Adam, I expect.’

I felt tears in my eyes at how nice and normal they all were. I wouldn’t go out with Karina and friends again.

At the end of the session, Mrs Bunton read a story to the children while they sat round, entranced.

‘
Would anyone else like to read?’ she asked at the end.

‘
I will,’ I surprised myself, but was rewarded by small, bright faces turning towards me smiling.

I picked a book at random and began reading. It was about a little kitten having adventures in the garden. It was pretty boring, so I started ad libbing.

‘
Suddenly a magic robin appeared from behind the rose bush. “What would you like to do now, kitten?’ he asked….’

I carried on my own story and Mrs Bunton’s expression changed from surprised to amused.

After I’d finished and the children were laughing at my silly ending, she came over to me.

‘
The story didn’t really go like that, did it?’

‘
No. I- sorry, I thought it would liven it up a bit.’

‘
Oh that’s alright. You have a vivid imagination. Have you thought about writing children’s books?’

‘
No- I- well- I’ve told Adam so many silly stories, it just came naturally.’ I blushed.

‘
Well, think about it. It would be a lovely job for a young mum, and money is always handy.’

An interesting thought.

*  *  *

One day I decided to phone Jamie to ask if he wanted to see Adam again. I didn’t want to beg him for money but he had said he would help out, under the guidance of Trevor.

I’d do it in a minute though. I was tired. I was always tired these days, however much my friends helped me. The broken nights and endless baby care took it out of me.

The door buzzer rang and I shuffled towards it.

‘
Hello Emily, it’s Eric.’

Too exhausted to protest, I let him in.

‘
Is this a good time?’

‘
Not really. But it never is. Tea?’

‘
I’ll make it.’ He strode towards the kitchen.

There was the sound of cupboards and crockery but he didn’t ask where anything was. I relaxed. I didn’t need to worry with Eric. He was grown up and didn’t need instructing. He brought the tea with no fuss.

‘
Bad day?’ he said. ‘May I?’ He turned the television channel over to Gardeners World. ‘It’s very soothing to hear people talking about plants.’

I smiled. But the next thing I knew, I was waking up to hear Adam crying and Eric carrying him out of his cot to me.

‘
Sorry. He wants mummy.’

I got my boob out and shoved it in Adam’s face without caring what Eric thought. He went to tidy up in the kitchen anyway.

Groggily, I remembered what I was going to do earlier. I picked up my mobile and called Jamie.

‘
Ullo?’ said a gruff voice. Music thumped in the background.

‘
It’s Emily.’

‘
Yeh?’

‘
I was just wondering…‘

‘
What?’

‘
If you wanted to see Adam again. And he does need more clothes and stuff.’

‘
Okay. What does he need?’

‘
Some-‘

‘
Hang on.’ I could hear male voices in the background, talking and heckling him.

‘
Jamie?’

‘
What?!’

‘
He needs some vests, babygros-‘

‘
Hang on, I’ll call you back.’ He cut me off, so I threw the phone across the room.

‘
Alright?’ asked Eric, hovering nearby.

‘
No, actually, I’m not! I’m bloody exhausted and Adam’s stupid father won’t help me!’ I shouted. Adam jumped but carried on feeding.

‘
What do you need?’

I explained the situation, slowly and unclearly, as I wanted to go to sleep.

‘
I’ll sort it out.’ Eric’s face was set determinedly.

The next day, Julie turned up with a bag of baby clothes.

‘
I’ve brought some of my kids’ old things. Eric told me you were running out. Gosh, I’m glad I kept them!’

Good old Eric. I’d known when he said he would sort things out it wouldn’t be in the same way Jamie would, with his fists.

‘
You can have any of my kids’ old clothes you know. I know what it's like trying to keep up with a growing baby. They only wear things once sometimes, don’t they?’ said Julie, tipping the clothes out on the bed and arranging them into types.

I phoned Jamie a couple more times. Once I got his girlfriend and I could hear the sneering in her voice. No doubt she wouldn’t pass the message on to him. The next time I actually spoke to him.

‘
How are you?’

‘
Alright.’

‘
Are you going to get any baby clothes?’

‘
I dunno what you want.’

‘
I did try to tell you but you cut me off last time.’

‘
Sorry. Hang on-‘

I could hear a girl in the background talking and laughing. I tried not to feel frustrated but it was becoming pretty obvious that Adam and I were low on Jamie’s list of priorities. He had a new life, a new, young, pretty girlfriend and didn’t want to be bothered with an older ex-girlfriend and a baby. As it has been since human life began.

Suddenly the phone was picked up again. ‘Listen, you need to stop hassling him and get a life.’ It was Amy.

‘
I beg your pardon?’

‘
That baby’s not Jamie’s. You need to get your own boyfriend and stop lying.’ She cut me off.

What a fool I was thinking it would all work out neatly. I didn’t want Jamie back but it had been pointless trying to involve him in his son’s life. Oh well, if that was the way he wanted it, so be it. If he couldn’t stand up to his girlfriend or his mates and didn’t want Adam to know his father, it was his loss. I was tough enough not to care about him anymore.

So I deleted Jamie’s number from my phone and any remaining texts. He was out of my life and Adam’s. It was lucky Adam hadn’t become attached to him.

*  *  *

One day Shane came round out of the blue.

‘
Hey Emily, guess what?’

‘
Er-‘

‘
I’ve got a new job, so I have.’

‘
As what?’

‘
I’m now a barman at Wolf’s club. So much better than the bloody newsagents.’ He turned on the television, found a music channel and started dancing madly around the lounge.

‘
D’you think I can do a back flip off here?’ He was on the arm of the sofa.

‘
No! You’ll hurt-‘ Too late, he’d already done it, landing like an elephant. I was surprised he hadn’t gone through the floor. Luckily Adam didn’t wake up.

‘
What did your dad say about you working there?’

‘
He wasn’t happy at all, but I told him to shove it up his arse. Now I’m eighteen, I can do what I like. He doesn’t know it's a gay bar. I’ll hit him with that once I’ve settled in.’

Before I could comment, the door buzzer went. Shane wiggled and jiggled over to answer it.

‘
It’s some guy. Eric?’

Eric came in wearing his most distant and reserved expression.

‘
Hello, I wondered if you were busy, Emily.’

‘
I’m always busy with a baby.’ I glanced at Shane, but he was eyeing Eric. Aha! Perhaps I could do some matchmaking here.

‘
Eric, this is Shane, one of my ex-students. Shane, this is Eric, an old friend. I’ll make some tea.’ I handed the sleeping Adam to Shane and bustled off into the kitchen. What a handsome couple those two would make: Blond and Blonder. I would leave them alone for a while.

‘
So how are you, Eric?’ I asked a bit later, handing out the tea.

‘
Oh, pretty good.’ He didn’t say anymore, in his usual annoying way. Was he happy, sad, angry, horny?

‘
Shane, when do you start your job?’

‘
Next week.’ He began talking and rambled on and on about the job. I was pleased he was so happy, though. It was about time he spread his wings and showed the world who he was.

‘
You must meet a lot of people in a bar,’ observed Eric. ‘What do you talk to them about?’

‘
Their problems mostly. Or they chat me up.’

‘
Where are you going to work?’

‘
The Pink Flamingo. Emily’s friend Wolf owns it. He gave me the job.’

‘
Is that a gay bar?’

‘
Yes, have you been?’ Shane had a glint of mischief in his eyes.

‘
No, I’m afraid not. I’m not really one for bars, gay or otherwise.’

‘
What do you do with your time, then?’

‘
I go on archaeological digs as much as I can…’ He carried on talking and Shane made admiring noises.

But after the discussion dried up, Eric made his excuses and left.

‘
He didn’t stay long,’ I mused. ‘What do you think of him?’

‘
Hot.’ Shane smiled. ‘Wants to get into your knickers.’

‘
ME? I thought he wanted to get into yours.’

‘
No-oo, darlin’. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you, even when you went to the kitchen.’

‘
So you don’t think he’s gay then?’

‘
Not in a million years! You need to sort out your gaydar,’ he giggled. ‘Let me tell you, that man wants to have your babies.’ He laughed even louder, even while he was still trying to do backflips off the sofa.

How silly. Sensible old Eric wouldn’t like me. But what had he come round for?

When the overexcited Shane had left, I checked out Eric’s Facebook page. Under ‘relationship status’, it said ‘it's complicated.’ Funny. I thought he was a confirmed bachelor.

‘
Didn’t you know?’ asked Julie warily when I quizzed her about Eric’s status.

‘
Know what? You’re scaring me!’

‘
Eric’s married.’

‘
What? So why does it say “it's complicated”? I thought he was gay. Is he married to a woman or a man?’

‘
A woman, of course. He’s not gay.’

‘
Why didn’t he tell me? Why is it complicated?’

‘
You’d better speak to him. I don’t want to say the wrong thing.’ She hated talking about people behind their backs, bless her.

I was just changing Adam’s nappy one day, when the door entry alarm went. It buzzed on and on impatiently.

‘
Yes?’

‘
It's Stacey Kemp. I want to see my grandson.’

Surprised, I let her in.

‘
You can’t do this, you little slag!’ She burst in to the room, her face flaming.

‘
What?’ I backed away, protecting Adam. What was wrong with the woman?

Chapter 7

‘
Adam’s Jamie’s son! You can’t keep him from him!’

‘
Hang on, hang on. Why do you think I’m keeping him away?’

‘
I know about girls like you. You think it's your baby, never mind the dad. Well, Jamie is the dad, he has rights you know, we could take you to court!’

‘
What? Stacey, what on earth are you talking about? Why would you take me to court?’

She paused. ‘Jamie says you wouldn’t let him see Adam! That’s out of order, you-‘

‘
He WHAT?’ I tried to keep calm. ‘He’s lying.’