Judd stared in my eyes and I saw the walls come down. Even staring into those pained baby blues, I remembered how coldly he discarded me. Over a month passed with no word from him. Yet, one guy sniffed around me and Judd was suddenly interested.
“Is your birthday present to me to make me a woman?” I whispered, holding his gaze. “You have to know I’m not a virgin and you’d do nothing someone hasn’t done before. There’s no prize between my legs. Maybe you outta stop threatening random men and go find yourself a real woman.”
Judd opened his mouth to speak until he heard Cooper’s voice from inside the house. When the arriving guests called back to their boss, Judd stepped away from me. Sighing, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his brown leather jacket.
“I see a prize when I look at you,” he said softly as he walked past, “but it’s not between your legs.” He pressed a little wrapped box into my hand. “Happy birthday, angel.”
Appearing on the porch, Cooper lost his smile when he saw Judd and me. The men gave each other a little nod before Judd stepped off the porch and past the men who also did their male hello gestures. The men disappeared inside, but Cooper remained next to me as I watched Judd drive away on a black Harley.
“Men like that don’t do soft, Tawny,” Cooper said. “You and your sister need soft because you had shit growing up. Don’t shortchange yourself by pining over a guy with ice in his veins.”
“He’s not all bad,” I said, letting my fingers play with the bow on the present.
“If he hadn’t been out finding you, who do you think I’d have used to deal with your mom?” When I looked up at Cooper and frowned, he spoke softer, “Not a lot of men will do a woman like that. Judd would.”
“Who did her then?” I whispered. “Tucker?”
Cooper looked like he might not answer. Glancing back in the house, I saw the unspoken message. The words we shared now were not for Farah’s ears.
“Haven’t you heard?” Cooper nearly whispered. “Tucker’s having a girl and it’s got him all gooey inside.”
“Then who?” I whispered.
“I had Outlaw handle it,” Cooper said, staring out at a passing car. “That’s what he’s good for. Him and Judd, they do the things weak men like me and Tucker won’t.”
“I don’t think you’re weak,” I said, accepting how I wouldn’t hear more details.
“Taking care of a woman isn’t something I have the stomach for. I’m too close to my mom maybe. Judd likes his mom, yet he’d have done your mom in a heartbeat. You keep that in mind when you start swooning for your knight in shining armor. Remember how he saved you because I paid him to. He’s no hero and he won’t treat you right. After the shitty first eighteen years of your life, you need to be treated well, okay? Don’t settle. Not here in Ellsberg where you don’t need to.”
Once I nodded, Cooper returned to the house. I knew he would send Farah to check on me, so I opened the gift from Judd while I was alone. A beautiful crucifix necklace shined in the box. A million times better than my puny necklace stolen years ago by a raping thug, this one made my heart beat too fast. I was again a stupid kid hoping for a dream she would never achieve.
Chapter Twelve
Moving into my dumpy apartment was a two hour ordeal, mostly because Cooper wouldn’t stop complaining. The place was too small. It was in a crappy area of town, full of stupid college losers and druggies. I should get something nicer. Why wouldn’t I just get something nicer? He would pay for something nicer. Had I considered getting something nicer?
Farah said Cooper was spoiled and she was right. He led the charmed life of a winner. He never had to work hard and I doubted he failed at anything. A sense of accomplishment and self-worth wasn’t something Cooper worried about, so he couldn’t understand I needed this shitty apartment. I also needed to work after my uncharmed life of a loser where I failed at most things.
Farah just seemed sad, so I kept hugging her. I suspected she thought I was leaving her. While Farah kept saying she would spend more time with me, she had a busy life between Cooper and school. She had given me everything she could, but it wasn’t her job to baby me. As an adult, I needed to behave like one.
Cooper agreed I could work at Denny’s. I just rolled my eyes when he said that since I hadn’t asked his opinion anyway. Still, I think he felt his manhood was questioned by having me get a job and move out. In his mind, he failed his duty as protector and Cooper wasn’t used to failing. Except he hadn’t done anything wrong, but explaining this for the millionth time seemed to go in one ear and out the other.
Finally, Cooper said I would have someone watching out for me. He also offered to get me a car, but I didn’t want handouts. I needed to earn something on my own. Only through hard work could I feel pride in myself. Taking the bus and watching my money would give me what I needed, but Cooper sighed loudly like I was a stubborn idiot. Next to him, Farah looked as if I was abandoning her forever, even though we lived ten minutes away from each other.
My first day at Denny’s wasn’t stressful. I’d waitressed enough that I knew the drill. Prepared for how unflattering the uniforms were, I didn’t mind looking dowdy. I wanted praise for my hard work, not my body.
The girl I shadowed the first day was named Larkin. She said to call her Lark and I thought the name suited her. With bright green eyes and her dark hair in a short spiky style, she looked a bit like a pixy. She smiled so much and it wasn’t fake either. Soon, I was smiling like crazy too. Lark had an infection quality and I felt lucky to share a work schedule with her. Everything was already looking up and it was only my first day on my own.
At the end of our first shift, Lark checked ketchup levels while I wiped tables nearby. When she glanced at me, her green eyes sparkled.
“A lot of guys ask us out. I know the nightshift girls get the rowdy guys, but in the morning, they’re usually the preppy frat boys. If you want to go out with them, you can, but keep it quiet. You won’t get in trouble, but it’s not considered a great idea. If you don’t want to go out with them, say it’s against the rules.”
“Do you ever go out with them?”
“No, but I would if I had a choice. A few of them are cute and nice. They just want to hook up with the local girls and blow off some steam.”
“Why don’t you have a choice?”
For the first time, Lark’s expression wasn’t happy. She just shrugged. “My mom married an asshole and he thinks he’s my dad now. He is always telling me what to do. I should ignore him, but I don’t want to move out and pay for rent, since I need my salary for college.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, unable to say much else.
“Yeah, he drove my sister away. Raven and I were tight. Best friends like you and your sister, but she took off when Edward started with his rules. He’s bossy with my mom,” Lark said, glancing around before whispering, “They have this dom sub thing in their relationship and she likes having him tell her what to do. It works for them, but Raven is wild. She challenged him constantly and things got out of hand a few times, so she bailed. Left town with a guy she met and headed to California.”
“I’m sure you miss her.”
“I do,” Lark said, sighing quietly and fighting a frown. “We were on a roller derby team together. We did everything together then she just left. I know she wasn’t ditching me, but it felt that way. I mean, I couldn’t go because I’m working on a degree, but I wish she had moved into a place in town and we could have lived together. She couldn’t stand Edward and they got into a fist fight. He threatened to call the cops and she took off.”
“Maybe she’ll come back?”
“She and the guy she ran off with fight a lot. He’s a jackass, so she’ll probably bail him too. It’s like she went from one ass to another, but I don’t know if she’ll ever come back here.”
Leaving the table I was cleaning, I walked to Lark and hugged her. She never seemed the least bit surprised and hugged me back immediately.
“I know some people don’t like their sisters,” she whispered, “but mine is great and I wish she hadn’t left.”
“I know. When Farah left for college, I felt like nothing else mattered.”
Lark smiled sadly. “You know you can live without them, but it’s just tougher. Nothing is as nice without your best friend around.”
“If you told Raven that, she might come back and put up with the asshole.”
Lark sighed as her gaze flickered to the door. “It’s not just him though.”
Following her gaze, I saw a tall handsome young man with a mohawk. He frowned at Lark and tapped his watch. The way he watched her made me think he was her boyfriend.
“Edward’s son. My brother, I guess,” she said, finishing up the tables. When she passed me to check out for the day, Lark whispered, “Jerks run in their family.”
Lark and her step-brother walked out to the parking lot where she climbed on the back of his Harley. After they road off, I realized I should probably head home too. Yet, I felt nervous about spending the night in the apartment on my own. The night before I chickened out and slept over at Farah’s. She had made us popcorn then painted my nails. Cooper just sighed and shook his head as if we were still discussing the move and he figured he might win with enough disapproval.
This evening, I wouldn’t run to Farah for safety. I would tough it out especially since I noticed a biker following my busses home. Clearly, Cooper had people keeping an eye out for me. Yet, I needed to prove I was capable of being out on my own.
When that didn’t work, I called Bailey and she came over for the night. I know she hated how loud the apartment was because my neighbors on both sides were potheads who enjoyed Primus in the middle of the night. Bailey didn’t complain though. I saw how much she wanted to, but she kept her mouth closed and pretended we were having a sleepover.
The next morning, a sleepy Bailey dropped me off at work and mumbled something about seeing me later. When I called Farah to let her know my first night had gone well, she asked me to come to dinner that evening. When I didn’t answer right away, she sent a picture of a frowning Cooper. Taking the hint, I agreed.
Lark was back to her happy self and we enjoyed the first few hours of work. She even helped me flirt with a guy who had come back in to talk to me. When I was unsure how to handle his invitation to dinner, Lark assured me that at the very least I’d get a free meal out of the date.
“Free meals make it all better,” she said, winking. “If he gets handsy, casually mention that your sister is marrying a Johansson. Those hands will get respectful in a flash.”
Feeling more confident, I agreed. Ryan still made me miss the Judd of my fantasies, instead of the real Judd who played with my heart.
Then, four hours into my shift, Lark seated the real Judd in my section. She walked past and said he requested me. Oh, and a coffee. Setting his drink on the table, I stepped back and held out my pad of paper. He looked up at me with his faded blue eyes and smiled casually like we were old friends.
“Do you need more time?” I asked coldly.
“Hello, Tawny,” he said in the deep voice I craved.
“Hello, Judd. Do you need more time?”
Judd tapped his tight black tee to indicate where I wore the necklace he bought me. “It looks good on you.”
“I’ve sent a thank you note in the mail.”
Judd lost his smile. “You’re kidding, right?”
“I got your address from Bailey. Do you need more time to order?”
Sighing, Judd looked back at the menu then back at me. “What do they serve here?”
“You ate at several Denny’s on the way to town.”
“I ate breakfast crap and I don’t want breakfast crap right now.”
Leaning forward, I flipped the menu to the lunch and dinner pages. “Do you need me to read it to you too?”
Before I stood up, Judd leaned forward and brushed his lips against my cheek. Jerking away, I wiped away the sensation of him, even though he felt like heaven on my skin.
“I’ll give you a chance to look it over,” I said, moving away while caressing the necklace absently.
“Stay and help me pick.”
“Why are you here? Did Cooper tell you to watch me?”
Judd gave me a cocky grin. “Watching over a chick is below my pay grade. No, he sent Parker to keep an eye on you. Say hi to Parker,” Judd said, gesturing towards a guy in the corner booth who had been drinking coffee for two hours. I gave a little wave to the older guy with the longass goatee.
“So what do you want?”
“You know what I want. I made that clear at your party.”
“To fuck me.” When Judd rolled his eyes, I smacked the table, actually startling him. “Don’t you dare treat me like I’m dumb. You blew me off and said I wasn’t good enough for you. Now, you act like I should giggle and swoon because you’ve decided you’re interested again. I didn’t fuck up and I don’t think you’re cute coming here and bothering me at work.”
“Are you done?”
“Sure, sir. What would you like?”
“Dinner tonight. I’ll explain shit and we’ll get over your hurt feelings and things will be like they were.”
“You mean like on the road when you ignored me most of the time when you weren’t acting like I was either hot or annoying?”
Judd titled his head back and forth then sighed. “No, I’ll probably want to aim higher than that.”
“I’m not amused.”
“You can’t know how sexy you are when you give me your death stare. Hotter than hell.”
“I’m not against fucking you eventually, but I’m still mad. Until I get over it, you’ll have to fuck someone else.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“I’ll come back.”
“Dinner tonight.”
“No.”
“Don’t be like that.”
“Like what? Strong?”
“More like a stubborn brat. Hell, you’ve been waiting this whole time for me to get my head out of my ass and come for you. Well, my head is firmly free and I’m here, so stop making me jump through hoops.”
Staring at him, I waited. While it wasn’t like the staring contests I witnessed between Cooper and Farah, it was close. Yet, I didn’t back down, so Judd just grinned.
“Where do you want to go for dinner tonight?”
“I’m busy tonight. Farah is making dinner.”