Colour Series Box Set (46 page)

There are so many people to thank for making this book happen, I hope I don’t forget anyone! I appreciate every person who helped me out, big and small you all are amazing.

To Ricky, my unbelievable and amazing husband for all his support. He puts up with the late nights, the fictitious decision-making and hours of my writing madness. Not only that he supports me all the way, encouraging me when I am down and enjoying the highs right beside me. Thank you, my love , you are the best. xxx

To my two little girls for being so good that I am able to write all the time. And for being the cutest writers block on earth. Mom loves you.

To my Beta’s you ladies are my voice of reason. Tracy, Karen, Tbird, Bri and Jennifer thank you for your time, your notes, your criticism and praise. They are most appreciated.

Then the beautiful bloggers who pimp, promote support and share my work. You guys never get enough credit for the amazing things you do! There are too many to list you all but if you are a book blogger, Thank you! I appreciate you.

Cassy Roop from Pink Ink Designs for my stunning cover and formatting and for your patience working with a newbie like me.

Mom & Dad for being there, helping me when I’m drowning and believing in me.

Dylan for reading a story book just for me. Thank you little brother.

To my friends and family who have supported, encouraged and surrounded me with love thank you.

To the other authors out there, the ones I fan girl over and read till all hours. Thank you for being inspirational. Some of the support and tips I have got from you ladies made this process so rewarding.

To the girls in the Twisted Sister group – yes you lot! The ones, who distract me with new reads and give me a place where my twisted mind fits in perfectly, thank you for all the support, distractions and fun.

Lydia from HEA book tours and promotions. This lady is rock star! Thank you for your well organised professional tours and support. I always look forward to working with you. Keeping doing what you do, because you are amazing

To my readers thank you for investing your time in my stories.

I cannot believe I can put a hundred thousand words on paper but writing the thank you’s scares me to death! I hope I haven’t forgotten any of the terrific tribe that has made this all come together.

MY HEAD IS POUNDING AND MY mouth feels like I ate a bowl of cotton wool for dinner. As I pull my naked self up on the couch, I can see the carnage of my night all over the apartment. The glass coffee table that should be in front of me is shattered into a million tiny pieces on my carpet that is now blood stained. I look at my hands and I just know. I swallow the dryness in my mouth and stand slowly my bare feet crunch and slice open on the glass. I don’t feel the cuts and splinters because my mind is racing full speed to what will await me when I find the person I brought home last night.

Why do beautiful girls seek me out? Do they not sense the danger? I thought girls had a sixth sense about these things?

The morning sun fills the room as a soft breeze blows in off the bay and through the open balcony doors. I can see the one glass door is shattered and the light is fractured as it shines through the cracked pane. The ocean air is cleansing and fresh in my lungs, and it eases some of the heat that sweats out of my naked skin.

I slowly step over the debris that litters my home and the dread becomes worse. I stop when I find my cell phone on the passage floor and type a text to Rowan.

I know whatever I find will not be good, the absolute destruction around me is worse than I have ever seen before.
What have I done?

I step over womans underwear that is shredded into pieces as I walk down the dim passageway into the aftermath of my actions. I step over more glass and the contents of a ladies' handbag, her lipstick, tampons and credit cards scattered across the white tile floor of the passage. Every step I get closer to facing the reality of what I did.
Again.
I step on her key chain and pain shoots up my leg. Fuck me that hurts. I kick the offending keys out the way they skitter across the floor and land against the wall.

My phone vibrates in my hand, I don’t look at it, I know it is Rowan with a slew of curse words and a message that he is on the way.
Again.

I can feel my heart beating in my chest and my hands are shaking, this has to be the worst I have ever woken up to. I see the blood spatter on the wall outside of the guest bathroom and the first flashback crashes into my pounding head and consumes me.

My hands on her throat, as I slammed into her against that wall, her head hitting it over and over. I raped her sinful little body. The wailing cries that escaped her as she begged me, pleaded with me stop. I didn’t stop abusing her body or her mind. The blood smeared down the wall as she sank to the floor and sobbed before I dragged her to my room by her arm.

I cannot control it when this happens. Sweat beads down my chest as it heaves with apprehension at what I am going to see in my room. What I did? This blind rage towards woman, the lack of focus and the fact that I lose touch with reality completely is making me worry for the first time ever. I know I have something wrong with me, but no idea what or how to fix it. I am fucked up, broken and useless. I need help! Where the hell is Rowan, he needs to get here.

I slowly push the door of my bedroom completely open and brace myself for what I will see. I blink my eyes closed and open them slowly to take in what the monster within me has done – this time.

Draped across my white bedcovers that are now spattered and soaked with blood is the body of a beautiful young woman. She isn’t moving and I instantly run to see if she is alive.
Please tell me I haven’t murdered her. I don’t want to start killing them. I just hurt them, hurting them helps. It fixes me.
She is facing down in the sheets and her back, thighs and ass are a bloodied mess where I took to them with my belt. Her hands are still bound behind her back with a cable tie and the blood has dried where it has ripped into her delicate skin.

I try to breathe in and out, but it feels impossible the smell of blood is ripe in the air. I roll her limp body over so that I can see the face I have destroyed. She is unrecognizable my fists have melted her face into a mass of bruised broken flesh.
I am sick, I did this and I don’t even remember it all.
I feel her neck for a pulse, it is there, but so weak I can barely feel it. I sit on the edge of the bed hang my head in shame and try to forget that this is what I do.
Over and over, I hurt these women I need help I need to stop.

I hear the front door slam closed, thank God, Rowan is here. “Callum” he yells to find me. I cannot answer I know he can see the carnage as he walks through my home.

“Callum what the fuck!” I hear him yelling again. I just sit there naked, ashamed and completely fucking broken. I can hear him mumbling at someone on the phone. Cleaners, he will get them to clean, but what can I do with her. She is never going to be the same.
This one cannot walk away and try to forget.

When he does eventually enter my room, he ignores me. The girl is his first stop I watch as he checks her pulse and shakes his head. He looks at me with that look, the look that says I have disappointed him again. Then pulls out his silenced gun and shoots her in the head that I smashed in over and over again. She is gone in second, he doesn’t even flinch or blink, she is just another number to him.

“I am not letting her live like a vegetable you fucker! Get dressed! We need to talk.” Rowan spits his words out glaring at me his anger is just a simmer he can control it so well.
I cannot.

I take a shower and wash the dead girl’s blood off my body, I can hear the shuffles and gasps of the cleaners outside the bathroom door as I try to wash away the evidence of my madness. The water can clean my body, but my mind is so dirty I don’t even want to think.

I find Rowan in my kitchen barking at the men he uses to clean up after a kill, he is usually a lot less messy and this is a big job to fix. He eyes me with the blue eyes that have a hell behind them and shakes his head. “Callum, this is the last time. That in there, that was too far. What is going on? You cannot do this forever! Someone will catch you.” I run a hand over my beard and try to think what caused it, I don’t have an answer, I never do, it just happens.

“I have someone coming over to help you. She is a doctor, well a shrink; she is also a customer of mine so she knows what kind of people we are. You will listen, you will talk and you will do whatever she fucking says or I will end this. I will end you with a fucking bullet Callum. Rape is filthy fucking crime I want nothing to do with. Are we fucking clear?” Rowans deep voice bellows through the hollow kitchen and vibrates in my ears, he doesn’t make threats if he says he will kill me, he will.

I met Dr Janet that afternoon. She saved me from self-destruction; she fixed me, not all the way, but a little. I never had to call Rowan to clean up anymore. I still lost it, but never all the way. The pills and the therapy keep me from madness. Dr Janet made me into a controlled monster that could learn to run an evil empire and plot and scheme and plan.