Choices (New Beginnings #1) (13 page)

Along the back wall were two over-sized reading chairs; the kind that you could just sink into and feel every muscle in your body relax.

"Sit down," Ethan said, leaving no room for protest. For once, she was glad of his command. Her legs felt weak and off-balance as she thought about what was coming. She sat and looked up at her boyfriend. He looked pissed. Was proposing to her really such a chore? Did he have to be so upset about it?

Michaela knew his family was pushing this relationship as much as hers was. Joining the two names would create a force in the social and business worlds alike. So, she didn't have the right to be hurt that he looked so upset about it, did she? She knew what her answer was going to be but that didn't mean she hadn't hoped he wanted it -just a little bit. They’d been together for so long, and they’d loved each other once.

Ethan was fun in college. They’d had their problems but they'd gotten through them. They had a good time together - laughing, and making love, and getting into trouble. Back then, she would've never believed he'd try to hurt her. But that was not who was standing in front of her today.

"About the other night ...” Ethan began. Michaela tensed up. "It happened. Let's forget about it."

She knew that was as close to an apology that she was ever going to get. She didn't want to fight so she just let it go and nodded.

"I wanted to talk to you before we eat," Ethan said.

"Okay." Michaela swallowed hard, twisting a lock of hair between her fingers nervously.

"We've been together a long time," he went on. "And we both know you made a mistake last summer when you said no to my proposal."

"Ethan--" she tried to say but he continued talking.

"I want to allow you to make it up to me." He watched her as his words sunk in. She narrowed her eyes.

"Was that a proposal?"

"What more do you want?" he asked.

Michaela stood and walked passed him to one of the bookcases. She leaned her head against the wood for a brief moment and then turned back to him. "Why do you want to marry me, Ethan?"

"Dammit, Michaela! Can't you make anything easy?"

"I'll say it again. Why do you want to marry me? I need to know."

"When I open my practice, I'll need a wife who can take care of a house and raise me a son." He moved closer to her. "My parents approve, and that's the hardest thing." He took another step. "You'll look great on my arm and you know how to handle the social events we'll attend."

Michaela squeezed her eyes shut and then opened them as a single tear rolled down her cheek. "You didn't say you loved me."

"What do you want from me, Michaela?" He stopped right in front of her and looked down angrily. "I'm giving you a chance to be a Walker. Do you know how many women would kill for that?"

"Ethan, back up." She put a hand on his chest and pushed but he didn't budge.

"You'll have more money than you know what to do with," he said. "You'll get to go to events and galas. You won't have to live in the city anymore."

"I love the city," she responded weakly. He was pressing her up against the bookcase now and a shelf was digging into her back. "I don't want all of that."

"Are you actually saying no to me? Again!"

Michaela tried to shrink away from his raised voice but there was nowhere to go. She was trapped.

"I don't care what my last name is." She lowered her eyes so she was looking into his chest rather than his face. "I want to be in love. And we, Ethan, are not in love. Not anymore. We haven't been for quite some time."

"You think you can do this to me again?" He gripped her upper arms and slammed her back against the bookcase.

"Ethan, stop," she cried. "You're hurting me." One of his hands tightened on her arm while the other released her. She didn't see the hit coming so she didn't have time to raise her arms to protect her face. It was an open-palm hit, but it stung nonetheless.

"Please." Her tears were flowing freely now.

"What will your father think of you?" Ethan growled. "He wanted this more than anything."

"Her father," said a voice near the door. "Would appreciate it if you'd get your fucking hands off his daughter."

Fourteen

Michaela's dad rushed over and put a strong hand on Ethan's shoulder, forcing him back. Then surprising them both, he punched him. Ethan fell to the floor with a small thud and sat there, looking up with a mixture of anger and fear. Michaela had never seen fear in his eyes before.

"Are you okay?" her father asked her. She nodded and he put his arm around her. It had been a long time since her father was the one who made her feel safe.

"Can we go?" she asked. He nodded and led her out of the room without saying a word. Ethan didn't follow them. A maid fetched their coats and they were outside before anyone else realized they were gone. Her father was on the phone with their driver, and he kept glancing over at her as if she'd break down at any minute.

Michaela was having a hard time processing everything that just happened. The cold air stung as it blew across the cheek Ethan had slapped her. That made it real. He’d hit her. He’d come close so many times before, but something had always stopped him. She felt like an idiot forever loving him at all. The moment Ethan's hand had connected with her face, any hold over her that he had ever had was broken.

Michaela had been scared that a part of her would always love him. Now she knew that wasn't true. When he hit her, it was like he set her free, and she was grateful. She laughed at the absurdity of that, and her dad looked at her like she was crazy. Maybe she was.

Their car pulled up, and the driver got out to open their doors. "What about Mom and Chris?"

"Your mother thinks I had an emergency at the office and I told her that you aren't feeling well. I'm supposedly dropping you at home on my way. We'll send the car back for them later." He checked his phone again and then spoke without looking at her. "I wanted to get you out of there."

She was glad he was finally showing some fatherly instincts when she needed him to. They rode in an uncomfortable silence for a few miles as the snowy world rolled by. Michaela was thrown into her father when the car fishtailed on the icy road, but she righted herself quickly and looked at him. He reached over and brushed his fingertips over her cheek, where she was sure a bruise was starting to form. He grimaced and pulled his hand away.

"I said 'no' to him, Dad," Michaela said.

"I'm glad." He looked out the window and sighed. "I'm sorry for my part in this. I thought Ethan was a solid young man. I feel ... responsible."

Michaela knew that the polite response would've been to tell him that it wasn't his fault. But, the truth was, part of her blamed him for trying to control her life. As much as Ethan's actions freed her from him, she also felt that it freed her from her parents. She felt like they’d had a part in her being hurt. She didn't care what they thought about her choices anymore. She was going to live her life and make it on her own if she had to.

When Michaela still hadn't responded, her father said, "I only wanted what was best for you."

"What was best for me? Maybe if you listened to what I want, you'd know what that is. I don't want to be rich. I want to be loved. I don't want to do a job that bores the hell out of me. I want to follow my passion. I don't want the quiet country club neighborhoods. I want the loud and busy city. Don't you see? You and Mom, all the decisions about me you've made, they've only ever been what's best for you."

"Sweetie--"

"No, Dad. This time
you
listen to
me
. I am done with this place. If I have to, I'll take out loans for law school, but I don't want you involved. I don't want to come back here. You and Mom betrayed me. I know you knew about the proposal, and that's the only reason you didn't fight me on the family law thing. You conspired with Ethan, and neither of you were going to let me do it." Michaela leaned her head against the cool glass and breathed out as the tears cascaded down her face. "I can't help but feel that part of this is your fault. That might not be fair, but it’s how I feel. I'm leaving tomorrow. Can we just not talk anymore? I don't want to hear any more of your lies."

Her father opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again. Michaela would've sworn she saw tears in his eyes but he saw the anger in hers and didn't try to apologize again. Her father was anything but emotional. He was the opposite of her. Seeing him show even an iota of hurt was almost too much for her to stand. She felt like she was divorcing her parents. 

The car slid again, and this time the driver had a harder time regaining control. They were on a mostly empty road, only a few miles from home. The weather and the holiday were keeping people off the streets. They slid into the other lane again and then swerved back hard. The car hit another patch of ice and the driver lost control, unable to gain it back.

Michaela held on to her seat as the swerving turned into spinning. A million thoughts were racing through her mind. Her father grabbed her hand and squeezed as his eyes darted around wildly.

Michaela was frozen in terror as the car left the relative safety of the road and plunged off the shoulder straight towards a tree. It all happened so fast. The only thing Michaela could remember was the sickening sound of metal crunching as it gave way and the spray of glass as it shattered around them.    

###

It was raining the day after Thanksgiving. The weather had warmed a little, and the remaining snow stood in ugly brown slush piles along the city streets. Jason should have been happy that it was nice out, but all he could think was that the sun was blinding and everything was as damn wet as it melted. The dampness clung to his clothes and the crisp air burned his lungs.

Jason couldn't remember ever having a worse hangover. He’d gone to Maggie's for Thanksgiving and had gone shot for shot with Elijah. Elijah was a big dude. He could handle it in a way that Jason, a much smaller guy, could never hope to. He’d crashed at Maggie's, but he couldn't hide there forever. He had a business to run.

Jason wondered if Aaron scheduled the deliveries in the morning just to mess with him. He considered taking that responsibility on himself, but he already had too much on his plate. Plus, Aaron was usually around for deliveries too, so Jason's sleep wasn't the only one being screwed up.

"Hey, man." Aaron came up from behind and clapped Jason on the back. Jason winced.

"Do you have to talk so loud?"

"I take it you had a good night?" Aaron laughed. Jason just groaned and walked to where the delivery man had unloaded their cases.

"Let's just do this quickly, and then I can get back to sleep." He lifted two cases and started walking. "I haven't even been home to shower yet this morning."

"Congrats dude! Who was she?" Aaron wiggled his eyebrows.

"I stayed at Maggie's." He grunted as he set his load down and went for another. "I drank with Elijah yesterday."

"Jason, man, I thought you were smarter than that."

"Not lately. These days I feel like I don't know anything anymore."

"Dude." Aaron held out an arm to stop Jason. "Are we about to have a heart-to-heart? I mean, I'm flattered. I didn't know you considered me one of your close girlfriends."

"Yeah, well," Jason said. "You're as close to a girl as I see in this bar right now."

"Yeah," Aaron scoffed, "because I'm the one who's been mooning over Michaela for months now." Jason gave him a surprised look and he laughed. "Talk about obvious, man." He stopped and turned towards Jason. "Alright, lay it on me, dude. I’m a girlfriend for the moment. Just call me Britney or some shit."

"Really?" Jason laughed.

"No, dumb ass. Not really. Just talk to me."

"She's with her boyfriend in Connecticut. I talked to Chris yesterday morning and he told me Ethan was going to propose."

"Did she say yes?"

"I don't know."

"Does she know how you feel about her?" Aaron disappeared into the store room with a case, returning a moment later.

"No."

"Shit, man." Aaron slapped Jason on the back of the head. "You really are brain-dead, aren't you?" Jason rubbed the spot on his head where Aaron hit him, and looked at the floor. He knew his friend was right.

"I need to go to Connecticut, don't I?"

"Of course you do!"

Jason breathed deeply and made a decision. "Tomorrow. Elijah is busy tonight, but he can help you cover the bar tomorrow. I'll leave in the morning. I need to call Mags. She'll give me her car."

"I'll finish here and then load up the cooler."

"Thanks, Aaron. You make a pretty damn good girlfriend." Jason turned away and laughed.

"I'm going to pretend you never said that."   

###

It was just after eight in the morning when Jason pulled up outside Michaela's house. After closing the bar late the night before, he hadn't been able to sleep. He couldn't stop thinking about Michaela and decided to get an early start. He had a strange feeling that he couldn't explain. This was where he needed to be.

Normally, Jason would've waited until a better hour to go to the house. He didn't want to wake anyone up. But something was urging him up the long drive.

Chris had described his parents' house to him before, but it was much more impressive in person. He’d never been to a house so large. It was hard to imagine the Michaela and Chris he knew growing up behind the ornate double doors or playing in the perfectly manicured yard.

Jason was so close now. If Michaela rejected him, fine, but at least he would've given it a shot. He got out of the car and looked around. If this was the kind of life she wanted, there was nothing he could do about that. If she chose Ethan, he'd have to live with it. Ethan could give her so much more than Jason could. But did she really love him? The Michaela he knew was more than all of this.

Jason didn't have family connections. Hell, he didn't have family except for Maggie. He did well with the bar, but he'd never be rich. His life was in the city, not in the country clubs near the beach.

Jason reached the doors but, before he could ring the bell, they swung open. A maid stood in the doorway of a large entryway.

"Hello, sir," she said. "Can I help you?"

"Uh," Jason started. "I'm here to see Michaela." The maid's polite smile dropped, and she looked like she was about to cry.

"Are you ..." she stammered. "Are you a friend of Miss Matthews'?"

"Yeah." Jason blew out a breath that looked like steam in the cold morning air. This seemed to snap the maid out of her own thinking.

"Forgive me, sir," she said, moving aside. "You must be freezing. Come in. Mr. Matthews is in the kitchen. Follow me."

"But I'm here to see Michaela." Jason didn’t like the prospect of seeing Michaela's father again, especially when she wasn't standing next to him. He wondered what his reaction would be if Michaela did choose Jason. He wouldn't be happy.

"Sir, please just follow me."

Jason barely saw the rooms they passed as dread settled in his stomach. What was he supposed to say to the man?

Before they entered the kitchen, Jason could hear the sounds of cooking taking place. From what Michaela told him of her mother he doubted it was her.
Damn, did they have cooks too?

The maid pushed through the door and motioned him inside.

"Mr. Matthews," she said. "There's a visitor here for Miss Michaela." She hurried away, and Jason looked around the busy kitchen until his eyes landed on his best friend, hunched over a cup of coffee on the counter.

Chris looked up, and Jason rushed to his side. His friend's eyes were red with large dark circles beneath them. His hair was still messed from sleep. He wore a simple pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt that were creased and wrinkled. He raised his mug to his lips and took a long drink before setting it down and finally meeting Jason's eyes.

"What's wrong?" Jason asked.

"Everything." Chris broke eye contact.

"Christopher," one of the cooks said. "You need to eat something. Nothing is going to be made better by you starving yourself."

"I'm not hungry, Travis."

"I’ve been cooking your food since you were an annoying little snot. You will eat whatever I put in front of you." Travis set down a plate piled with eggs, bacon, and hash browns. "Eat. Now. You haven't eaten a full meal since it happened."

"Fine," Chris gave in. "Jason will have some too. He's going to need something in his stomach when I tell him."

"Tell me what?" Jason cut in.

"Yes, he will." Travis set another plate down and gave Jason a sympathetic look before turning back to his work.

"Chris, tell me what's going on." 

"For a split-second, when I saw you walk in that door, I thought you knew. I thought that was why you were here. I was relieved I wouldn't have to tell you. But then I noticed your eyes. You came here to finally tell my sister you love her, didn't you?"

Jason nodded, and Chris broke down. He pushed his plate away and rested his elbows on the table with his head in his hands. When his body began to shake, Jason put a hand on his shoulder.