Choices (New Beginnings #1) (11 page)

Twelve

They got home later than they’d intended. Chris, true to form, hadn't left work when he said he would. They entered the house to find their mother and Ethan having drinks in the living room. Michaela was used to the bond between Ethan and both her parents. They’d been supportive of the relationship since it first started. He was the ideal husband for their daughter. She wasn't sure how she felt about that.

Her parents were not happy when she declined his proposal, but she refused to be pushed into it. She wondered what they’d think of his reaction to her rejection. If it wasn't for Chris and Josh, he may have hit her. She hadn't forgotten that. It's why she was cautious in their relationship now.

Ethan rushed towards her and gave her a quick kiss. He held out his hand to Chris, but her brother didn't take it.

"Where's Dad?" Chris asked. He’d been nervous the entire drive of seeing their father. They had a discussion coming that wouldn't be comfortable for either of them.

"He's out of town for a case," their mother answered. "He'll be home tomorrow."

Dinner was a quiet affair, as it usually was in the Matthews' house. Michaela's mom and Ethan carried most of the conversation, usually with each other. They talked of the recent social events and the local gossip. Ethan came home a lot to attend the events. His father always told him that knowing influential people in the community would help when it came time to join his practice in town.

"I need some air," Michaela said, suddenly jumping to her feet. "I think I'll go for a walk."

"By yourself?" Ethan asked, not offering to go with her. She hadn't expected him to. It was late, and there was nothing in it for him. She mentally slapped herself every time she had thoughts like that. It really wasn't fair to Ethan when she did.

"Oh, but dear, it's so cold out," her mom said.

"I'll wear a coat." Michaela walked towards the door and shrugged on a jacket before slipping out. The air was still but the biting cold felt good. She headed for the all-too-familiar path and, before she knew it, she could hear the waves breaking on the beach. She slipped off her shoes and socks to feel the chill of the sand beneath her feet.

The beach looked lonely tonight without a soul around. Michaela sat down and buried her hands in the sand while she looked out at the moonlight playing on the water. That was the one place where she could think clearly, without the haze of her insecurities or worries.

Whenever Ethan talked about his future, Michaela couldn't see herself in it. All those years ago, their relationship had started off with so much promise. She felt lucky that he even noticed her. They were young and passionate. Ethan was much more carefree then than he was now. They hadn’t had to try so hard. Everything between them now seemed so forced. Michaela no longer got nervous when she was about to see him. He no longer texted her every morning when he got up. If she was being honest with herself, all of that was gone long before he ever proposed.

It wasn't just their relationship that had changed either. Michaela was not the same weak-willed girl who followed Ethan everywhere. He’d lost his control of her, and was constantly trying to get it back. At times, Michaela thought he’d become cruel. She overlooked a lot of things because she loved him, but she knew it wasn't supposed to be like that.

She had no intention of becoming some socialite here at home. That's what Ethan and both their parents expected of her. She wanted something different. She wanted to work hard at something she loved. She wanted adventure. She didn't want a quiet life. She wanted ... his face popped into her mind, but she refused to dwell on it. While she was with Ethan, that wasn't fair to him.

She didn't even know if Jason wanted her. He’d rejected her and turned to Katie. Michaela stood abruptly to try to shake it from her mind. She walked down to the edge of the water to dip her hands into the icy sea to splash her face before going back up to the house.

###

Ethan was waiting for her by the door with a frown on his lips. When anger deepened the grooves on his face, Michaela thought he looked frightening. He was attractive in the way of people who put a lot of thought and time into their look. When she started dating him in high school, there were a lot of disappointed girls out there. Michaela liked him when he smiled, however rare that was. Sometimes she felt like she stayed with him through all of his crap, just for those occasional moments when his lips would stretch into one of those full-teeth grins, and she’d melt.

"I've been waiting for you," Ethan said when she reached him. Those words could have so many different meanings. Somehow Michaela felt that he didn't mean it in a romantic way. She knew she was being scolded for taking too long.

"I'm sorry." She looked down at her feet, unwilling to meet his gaze. Things had been like this between them since they got back together - uncomfortable meetings and awkward phone conversations. Ethan took her hand in his and started pulling her through the house and up the stairs. He didn't release her until they were in her room with the door shut. She heard a click as he turned the lock and he finally turned to look at her.

"Baby, I've missed you." He took a step closer. This was the Ethan she knew. The hunger in his eyes was all too familiar.

"I've missed you too," she responded lamely.

"Things have been so good since we got back together."

Michaela didn't know what planet he was living on. She would've laughed if he hadn't moved so close, making it hard to think. Every hair on her arms stood on end as he ran his hands across her back. Her body always had a response to Ethan's. It wasn't the firework passion that Jason had evoked, but it was powerful all the same. Ethan brought forth a primal need in her. He was her first, and the only one who’d ever been more than a drunken college one-nighter.

"Ethan ..." she started, but he cut her off with a kiss. Ethan never did anything slow or carefully. He dove in. His kiss was ... hungry ... claiming ... controlling. And Michaela gave him that control. He groaned in the back of his throat as she let him lead her to the bed. Ripping off his shirt, he started to unbutton Michaela's and pushed her back onto the bed. He covered her body with his, not breaking their kiss as his hands roamed freely.

Michaela clung to the ripples of his back as she pressed their bodies closer. Ethan was lean but also muscular, and his skin was soft under her touch.

"Ethan," Michaela breathed. "Slow down. We have all night." Ethan made a noise of disgust in the back of his throat and grabbed her wrists in his large hands. He yanked them above her head and held them there with one hand while his other worked on the buckle of her jeans.

"We missed a lot of time," Ethan growled, "And you're going to make it up to me." He released her so he could push her jeans down her legs. He threw them to the side of the bed.

Michaela tried to sit up, but Ethan pushed her shoulders back into the mattress and held her there.

"You're scaring me," she said, pushing against his hands. He didn't say a word as he released her again to shed the rest of his clothes. She sat up again, and this time he pushed her down more forcefully and pinned her with his body.

"Ethan, you're hurting me." She squirmed under him as his mouth claimed hers again. She was able to push him away just long enough to yell, "Ethan, STOP!"

He released her shoulders and sat up, still looking down at her. "What's your problem?"

Seeing his confusion, Michaela tried to think back on their relationship. Had she always let him treat her like this? With so much ... control?

"I just ..." she sighed. "I think you should go."

"Fine, Michaela." He ran a hand over his face and scowled. "Whatever. I just hope you're not becoming a prude. That wouldn't do with me. Sometimes I don't even know if you're worth it."

He got dressed quickly and left her, shaking and crying into her pillow.  

###

Their father arrived home the next morning. Michaela and Chris greeted him right away, but the mood in the house had shifted. It felt like everyone was holding their breath, waiting to see what would happen. There were a lot of conversations that needed to be had. A lot of things that needed cleared up.

Their mother told them that his meetings in the city had gone better than expected, so he was in a cheerier mood than usual. Michaela worried that would change as soon as he heard what she had to say.

She still didn't know what to do about Ethan. She knew she still loved him, but she wasn't so sure she liked him anymore. She didn't want to be in a relationship like that again. For today she'd have to store those thoughts in the back of her mind, because she wouldn't be seeing him and she had other things to deal with.

Her father was finishing his lunch and Michaela knew he'd head to his study soon after, so that's where she waited for him. There were large bookshelves lining the back wall and a couch off to the side. An antique cherry desk sat in the center of the room as the focal point. As a kid, this room was always off-limits, which made it the perfect room to play in.

Michaela stood by the large floor-to-ceiling window that looked out onto the field in back of the house. It had started to snow in the middle of the night and had yet to stop. Michaela liked snow because, like the sand on her beach, it was so beautiful when it hadn't yet been touched, and even more beautiful when it had. It could create peace, or it could create chaos. In their perfect Stepford lives, chaos had always been a pleasant diversion.

Michaela heard her father's footsteps, but he stopped when he saw her in his study. He wasn't used to his family intruding on his space. He cleared his throat and she turned.

"Michaela," he said, moving around his desk to sit behind it. She sat on his couch without an invitation. Before she could speak, her mother came bustling in.

"Oh, good," she said. "Are we doing this now?"

"Mom," Michaela started. "I think I'd like to do this on my own."

"Are you sure, dear?" She looked from daughter to father with a worried frown and then nodded slowly and left, closing the door behind her.

"Should I be worried?" Michaela's father finally looked at her straight on. He folded his hands on top of his desk and waited. When she hesitated, he decided to speak again. "Look, I know some things were said when I came to see you last ..."

"This isn't about that," Michaela cut him off. It was for Chris to talk to him about what had happened at their apartment. "I told Columbia I'd be starting classes next semester."

"That's wonderful news!" His face relaxed into an expression of relief. "Let's have a drink to celebrate!" He reached into a drawer and pulled out a bottle of scotch. "We'll get your mother to bring us glasses."

"I'm not finished." Michaela stood, and started to pace. Her father's eyes followed her, but she didn't look at him as the rest of her words came tumbling out. "I know you're going to think this is a mistake. I know you're holding a place for me at your firm. I don't want to disappoint you, but I also need to make myself happy. I can't be happy dealing with big businesses. I need to help people."

"Michaela!" Her father cut off her babbling, and she finally looked at his stern face. "What is going on?"

"I want to be a family lawyer." There, it was out. She couldn't take it back. There was no more hiding from her father. He exhaled and leaned back in his chair without a word. Michaela had come expecting an explosion from him. His anger was well documented but she couldn't sense it just then.

"Michaela. Dear," he finally said. "I have just returned home from the city, where my firm is working on opening offices. I will not be able to be there full time, but I was hoping, after law school, that I could set you up to run the place. I want a Matthews in charge."

"But you can have a Matthews!" Michaela sat back down and leaned forward with her elbows on her knees. This was perfect. This could help her brother and father reconcile. "You have a son who is more than qualified. Chris went in to corporate law just because you did, and he's damn good at it."

Michaela couldn't put a finger on the emotion that flashed across his face, but she took hope in that it wasn't anger or hate.

"I'll make you a deal," her father said after a few moments of silence. "During law school, I want you working for my firm. I will need a few people in place in the city to get the offices up and running." She nodded and he continued. "Then you can become whatever kind of lawyer you want. By the end of school you may change your mind, but the deal stands."

Michaela couldn't believe what she was hearing. She waited for the other shoe to drop, but it didn't.

"I'd say that's fair." Michaela grinned and was surprised that her father was smiling back at her.

"Oh, before you go, I wanted to ask you how things are going between you and Ethan." Michaela's parents took an unhealthy interest in her relationship. To them, Ethan was perfect. His family was old money, and he was destined for great things. They thought Michaela would be lucky to be around for that. The thing was, Michaela wanted to do her own great things, not tag along while someone else did them.

"Oh, you know," she answered vaguely.

"You need to hold on to that boy this time. Turning down his proposal was a huge mistake, one I hope you won't make again."