Choices (12 page)

“Yes, thank you. This is wonderful,” Ryan hugged Kenleigh and stood behind the podium.

Paxton stopped listening. Her mind finally caught up to hear that Jack was gone because of a family emergency. The only thing Jack considered a family emergency when it came to his family was a death.
Who was it? Who died?
She stood up excusing herself. She ran out into the hallway. She had the overwhelming urge to run to Jack. She needed to see him make sure he was alright, despite everything that’s happened between them. She found herself against the wall, bent over, knees getting weak, and barely able to breath. Deep down she still had a connection to Jack, this is what her dreams were trying to tell her.

Paxton heard clicking of heels against the tiled floor. She looked up and saw Kenleigh heading her way. Paxton straightened herself. She wouldn’t let Kenleigh see her falling apart over Jack. Paxton smoothed her dress out and quickly wiped her face. She took a deep breath and Kenleigh finally stood in front of her. Paxton stayed silent. She didn’t know what to say to Kenleigh.

“You okay?” Kenleigh asked.

“Fine, just had to use the restroom. I got lost but now I need to get back before Ryan’s done.”

She saw Kenleigh study her. No doubt she saw right through Paxton’s lies. Paxton side-stepped Kenleigh and walked around her.

“He still loves you,” Kenleigh called out. Paxton froze in place and turned to face her. “Jack, he loves you. He says he’s with me but I know better. He won’t even let me near him right now.”

Paxton stayed silent. She wasn’t sure what kind of angle Kenleigh was coming from. She wouldn’t give in though. Duke was waiting for her at home. A light bulb suddenly came on. Duke knew about it. That’s why he was acting so strange. He knew that she would want to run to Jack if she found out something was wrong.

“Please, go to him,” Kenleigh begged. “I love him but I know I can’t have him because you still hold his heart. I think you still have feelings to
o. I may be blonde but I am not stupid.”

“What makes you think I was out here because of Jack? Maybe I was overwhelmed about the foundation named after my best friend?” Paxton snapped at her. She knew that was a dead giveaway right there. Her mind was still trying to wrap itself around the death of some unknown person in Jack’s family, Duke not saying anything to her, and now Kenleigh asking her to go to him? She was confused and didn’t know what she wanted to do.

“He’s at his parent’s house. Please, I am begging you. Please, go see him. Please help him through his father’s death,” tears formed in Kenleigh’s eyes. 

Paxton stared at her for a few moments. Now she knew Jack lost his father. She knew what that felt like, she lost her father all those years ago. Her heart ached for Jack. She
was fighting to keep herself at the event and not give in to the need to go to him now. She fought her urge to comfort him, see him through this. She knew how grief worked and without support of friends and family, you could lose yourself. She knew first-hand what it’s like to lose yourself in your grief. No matter what happened between them, she couldn’t let Jack go down that road. She wasn’t that callous.

“I’ll go tonight, but this
doesn’t mean that I want him. I’m going as a friend, as someone who knows what it’s like to lose a loved one,” she turned and headed towards the banquet room. She looked back at Kenleigh then ran smack into Ryan.

“Hey I was just coming to look for you. I saw you disappeared. You okay?”

“I need to go see Jack.”

Ryan didn’t move. He just searched her face. Paxton knew what he was looking for, “I’m fine Ryan, I swear. I’m going as a friend, nothing else. See you at the hotel?”

“Take the car. I will catch a cab back to the hotel. It will be cheaper that way.” He hugged her and dropped the keys in her hand.

“Thank you.”

Paxton turned and went to go grab her purse. She headed out not knowing what kind of welcoming she would receive or what emotions would be running through her. She would pay her respects, check on him and leave. Her heart was telling her otherwise though. Part of her knew that this was going to be a test for both of them. This would test her feelings for Jack, more importantly decide her fate with Duke. If she could walk away from Jack tonight because there was nothing there, she knew that she could start something with Duke. That she was ready and there would be no more what-ifs.

FOURTEEN

Paxton arrived outside of the Mercier house within the hour. She hated to admit that she was speeding to get there, but she felt the urgent need to get to him. She kept thinking about her dreams she had been having. Of Jack slipping into the dark, reaching out for her to help him. She couldn’t imagine him being as devastated as Kenleigh was making him out to be. She knew he wasn’t that close to his father. They had a strained relationship, but maybe things had changed.

She pulled the keys from the ignition and saw how there were a few lights on. She knew someone was up, hoping it wasn’t Jack’s mother. Nancy Mercier was never fond of her, even though she put on one hell of a show in front of everyone but Paxton knew of Nancy’s dislike. Paxton took a deep breath and headed towards the door.

She had been standing there a few moments, still working up the courage to knock on the door. Her nerves were getting the best of her and that’s when she knew there were unresolved feelings for Jack. She lifted her hand to finally knock when the door came open and Jack filled the doorway. Paxton noticed he had dark circles under his eyes. The life that used to fill them were gone, in its place was loneliness, maybe even devastation. Behind his eyes however, Paxton saw a bit of relief, something that tugged at her. She wanted to reach out to him and just feel him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t hear the bell,” he finally said after a few moments of staring.

“I didn’t ring it yet.”

She watched his face fall and he looked beyond her, “You were going to leave?”

“No,” she answered. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to see me, if I was welcomed.”

Jack didn’t say anything but reached out and grasped her left hand. He brought it up and inspected it. He rubbed the faint tan line she still had from her wedding rings. He brought up his lips and placed a gentle kiss upon her tan line. “You are always welcomed.”

Paxton felt a shiver go down on spine. The weight of Jack’s stare immobilized her. She didn’t know what to say to him but gave him a small smile. She looked down trying to escape his stare but he pulled her into a hug and pulled her inside, shutting the door behind her.

“I’m really glad you showed up. How did you know? When did you fly in?” He asked releasing her and holding on to her hands.

The hope behind his voice that she came to New York startled her. “I came in yesterday for the charity event.”

“Right, of course.”

Paxton regretted her words. She heard the disappointment in his voice. “I heard you had a family emergency, the only emergency you said there would be was if someone died.” She heard Jack take a sharp breath in. She couldn’t meet his eyes. She stared at the floor waiting for him to tell her who it was even though she already knew.

“My father, a few days ago. The funeral is tomorrow.”

Paxton cringed she didn’t want him to know Kenleigh sent her here.

“We got really close over the last couple of months, I just can’t
believe I wasted so much time fighting against him.”

Paxton pulled him back into a hug. She didn’t know what else to do. She knew no words could really soothe someone when they lost a loved one. Nothing would bring them back. She held on to him tight and tried to focus on her feelings. She wanted to see where she was emotionally. She searched her feelings. Naturally she still loved him, she knew part of her always would but she didn’t know if there was anything beyond that. She couldn’t feel out how deep her feelings were. Tragedy seemed to always bring people closer, give it a few weeks and it would dissipate. Paxton decided tonight she would just let what happens, happen. She didn’t care what the consequences were she just knew that she was in the right place.

***

Jack held Paxton in his arms. He didn’t know how she knew to show up tonight but he felt like it was a miracle. He had been thinking about how wrong he was to leave her alone with the grief. Although he didn’t have a close relationship to his father with the exception of the last couple of months, he knew that Paxton’s grief was in ten-fold because of her childhood friend’s death. He wished he could go back in time and change things. Maybe he would go back far enough to spare her that pain and tell Duke and Ella to stay an extra night.

“Come in, let’s go sit in the study.” Jack just wanted to take his mind off of things. She could fill him in with life back home. He shook his head, his home was here now.

They sat in the two chairs by the fire place. Jack had started the fire about an hour ago. He stared at Paxton as the flames danced in her eyes. The light from the fire made her look stunning sitting there beside him. Her dress brought his attention to her body. She looked ravishing. She gave him a shy smile and looked away. She was simply breathtaking in front of the fire.

“So how’s your mother doing?” She broke the silence and finally looked over at him.

“As best as she can. She’s sleeping thanks to the sedatives, but I’m worried about her.” He picked at the arm of the chair.

“Don’t let her become dependent on those to sleep.”

“I won’t.” Jack knew the medical side of Paxton was coming out.

“You should rest as well. It’s not good to go on such little sleep. Make sure both of you are eating as well.”

“Yes, ma’am Dr. Andrews.” Jack tried to lighten the mood. He saw her smirk.

“Guess you really can’t take the doctor out of some people,” she smiled. It was a genuine smile this time.

“Guess not. I want to apologize to you though. I was an ass, I should have never left you. I should have been there for you.”

“Stop.”

“No, Paxton. I was wrong. I was the worst husband imaginable. I don’t deserve your kindness now.”

“Jack, listen to me,” she paused. Jack decided to let her say what she wanted. That was the least he could do after everything he’s done.

“I don’t need your apologies. I don’t know why you did what you did but it’s over, it’s in the past. I seriously thought about not coming tonight but that would make me no better than you. I know what you are going through and there is no other place more important right now, that would keep me from being here.”

Jack didn’t know how to respond. Paxton was beyond words sometimes. He felt like more of an ass than he already was because she was able to forgive him. She was here helping him instead of staying away. He knew he still loved her in that moment. He was sure about it. Kenleigh was just a place-keeper as much as it pained him to think of her that way.  Jack will fight to get Paxton back.

“So how’ve you been? What’s been going on back in Kansas?” He wanted to know what she had been doing. He also needed the distraction from thoughts of his father and how much time he wasted fighting with both his parents.

He saw Paxton stare at him for a moment. He knew he caught her off guard with the subject change.

“I’m doing well. I’ve got a puppy now.”

“A puppy?”

“Yeah, Link. He’s a half pit-bull, half Catahoula. He’s the cutest little thing.”

Jack saw the happiness in her eyes. He knew Paxton always wanted a dog but with her job at the hospital and his job, they didn’t have time for one. “Guess the gallery has been good then. You have time for a puppy.”

“Yeah, he was actually my Christmas present from Duke.”

Jack tried to keep his flinch subtle. He knew that Duke had feelings for her, he didn’t know how deep they were but he got her the one thing she always wanted. He figured Duke must be falling hard for her.

“Wow that was nice of him.” It was the only thing he could think of
to say.

“Yeah. How’s Kenleigh? I heard you two are together now.”

Jack held his grimace. He figured Duke would let her know but there was something in her eyes that was telling him that she didn’t want it to be true. “We live together. We own a restaurant/bar together, but she’s not you.”

Jack watched her after letting the words slip out of his mouth. She stared at him as if he grew another head.

“I don’t understand. She seems to think you two are in a relationship.”

“I mean, I love you Paxton, more now than ever.” The confession was coming from his heart. He knew that he would never love Kenleigh the way he does Paxton.

“That’s just the grief-”

“No, it’s not,” he interrupted her. “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life. My father’s death made me realize I can’t waste any more time.” He stood up and went towards Paxton. He placed his hands on either side of her. She stiffened. “I can’t lose you again.”

Jack stared straight into her eyes. She looked scared but he didn’t move.

“Jack, I, I,” she stuttered. Jack didn’t back off though. “Jack.” She pushed him back and
backed away from him.

Jack took
the cue from her and took a few steps back, giving her some space. She smoothed her dress out and swiped her hair back over her shoulder. The way the light hit her face when she looked back at him, stirred his desire and the space between them right now was too much. He took the few steps to close the distance and kissed her. He needed to feel her in his arms, his lips on hers. Jack needed her touch, her love. He needed more than he needed air.

Paxton struggled against him. After a few moments, she gave in, she let herself go. She kissed him back and wrapped her arms around him. She challenged him by leaning into him only to pull away, breaking Jack’s grip on her. She took a few steps back and stared at him. Jack felt the sexual tension between them as the crackling from the fire place was the only sound in the room. He started towards her once more and claimed her lips. He lifted her dress up and then picked her up without breaking the kiss. He felt her long legs wrap around him and they were lost. He carried her up to his bedroom. He knew without a doubt he now had a chance with Paxton and he was going to win her back.