Choices (10 page)

“I wish you were coming to New York with me.”

“Me too,” he started the car not looking at her.

“Why don’t you? Maybe Susie can watch Link?”

“I don’t want to put her out last minute, Pax. It’s fine it’s only a couple of days.”

“I know,” Paxton didn’t try to hide the disappointment.

“Are you going to miss me that much?”

Paxton wanted to say yes, but part of her knew that she wanted him to go to keep her from doing something stupid. “Maybe.”

“Is that sarcasm I hear?” He gave her a feigned look of being hurt.

“Maybe,” she chuckled.

Duke laughed with her. Paxton enjoyed these little moments between them. He grabbed her hand and held it. They were almost back at the house already but she didn’t protest his touch.

“So are you packing when we get back?”

“Yeah, I have an early flight. We have to leave around four in the morning.”

Paxton knew she would spend a day traveling as they would be in New York by four Eastern Time. That would leave plenty of time to check into the hotel rooms and settle, maybe even go out for dinner later if they weren’t too tired.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the small movement of his thumb on the back of her hand. She felt every cell in her hand tingle with a small electric sensation as his thumb moved across her skin. She looked down at their hands then up at Duke. She didn’t know what this new sensation was. She suddenly didn’t want to go to New York with Ryan. She wanted to stay put with Duke. This new sensation ignited something in her. It made her forget what she was thinking about, more importantly it made her forget about Jack. Was it a sign that she was supposed to be with Duke?

“What’s going through that head of yours?” Duke asked as he broke contact to turn into the driveway.

Paxton stared a moment longer before answering feeling the cold abandonment of his hand. “Just things, New York.”

“Jack?” Duke asked as he put the car in park.

Paxton stared at him not knowing what to say. She knew that she was really thinking about Duke when he asked, but now the focus went back to Jack. Duke got out of the car and came around to open her door. She still hadn’t moved since he said Jack’s name. Duke opened it up and offered her a hand. Paxton took it and stepped out of the car.

“Thanks.” She slung her purse over her shoulder.

“I wasn’t thinking about him,” she answered as she unlocked the door.

“But now you are?”

“Yes, you brought him up.”

She saw Duke open the crate where Link was. He picked him up and headed back outside into the yard. Paxton suddenly felt the mood shift in the cabin and Duke was avoiding something. Her thoughts were invaded by Jack, the good memories, however seeing Duke make himself at home, taking care of Link. She saw how good things could be right now. She wondered if she would feel this way tomorrow when she is thousands of miles away from Duke and only an hour away from Jack. She wished with all her heart Duke was going with her. She knew as long as he was there, she could stay away from Jack. Maybe she can still talk Duke into going. She quickly texted Susie about watching Link for a few days, she then headed up the stairs to pack as Duke tended to Link.

TWELVE

Paxton closed the door of her hotel room. She was glad her day of traveling was over. She threw her jacket on the chair that was right inside the door and looked around at the posh suite that she booked. Ryan had the room right next to hers. He was just as tired as she was. They both wanted to sleep some before dinner. It was about five and they decided to meet back up around seven-thirty.

Paxton set her suitcase in the closet. Throwing herself on the bed she felt the exhaustion set in. Looking over at the clock she wished they decided to go for food first so she could just sleep the night away. Last night she didn’t get much sleep as Duke stayed the night. She didn’t want him stay but she couldn’t help but think that something had changed between them. He had been acting weird all day yesterday and he seemed afraid to let her come to New York. She wished Susie would have been available to watch Link but she couldn’t. After calling for a wakeup call, she laid down and shut her eyes.

She awoke to the phone ringing. It was her wakeup call but she didn’t even remember falling asleep. She grabbed it and when no one answered she knew that the hour had really passed. She set the phone down and sat up. Paxton felt even more exhausted than when she laid down. Every muscle ached, not from being overworked, just from lack of sleep and traveling.

Paxton stretched her legs out straight in front of her. She folded herself over to stretch them ou
t. The slight pull of stretch felt good. She stayed like that for about a minute before lying back down to do some spinal twists. She knew she definitely needed to get back into a yoga class as she felt how tight all her muscles were. She noticed she started lacking in some flexibility due to her not practicing like she used to.

Deciding that she should do a few more stretches, Paxton laid on her floor. She grabbed a towel and did a few leg stretches. A knock came on her door and she peeled herself off the ground and looked through the peep hole. It was Ryan. She immediately unlocked the door and opened it for him. She walked away as he entered and fell back on the floor. She grabbed the towel and finished her other leg stretch. She needed to stay even.

“So what are you thinking about for dinner?”

Paxton laid flat on floor
working on the pull of the fascia on the outer part of her leg. “I don’t know. What if we just order in? I’m really tired from the trip.”

“Me too. Let’s see what’s on the menu and I am waiting on something to arrive tomorrow so I will be occupied up until the event.” Ryan picked up a menu as she switched to stretching her hamstring.

“What are you waiting on? Did you forget something back home?” Paxton sat up and grabbed a menu to start searching for her dinner. She was done stretching at the moment. When he didn’t answer, she looked up at him. “Ryan?”

“Just something I thought should be up here for the event. I didn’t think about it before I left.”

“What is it?”

“A surprise.”

Paxton saw excitement in Ryan’s eyes. She had no earthly idea of what he was talking about. They had everything they needed. “Okay…” Paxton wasn’t sure what was up his sleeve.

“Also, since we are talking about the event. I have written my speech. It’s heartfelt but I think you should be the one to give it.”

“No, the gallery was your baby! This is your moment.”

“No, I want you to give it. I’m not good at public speaking.”

“Ryan, you are unbelievably good at public speaking. You do it all the time at the gallery, in front of groups. You’re a natural.”

“Please, Pax? I think what I’m having arrive tomorrow will help you out.”

Staring at him, Paxton tried to figure out what he was doing. He was being secretive about things and she didn’t like it, especially now. She saw him plead with his eyes.

“I think I’m just going to have a burger,” she changed the subject.

“I was thinking of a steak. Shall I call down or do you want to?”

“Since I have to speak tomorrow, you order,” Paxton smiled.

Paxton stuck her last fry in her mouth. She was so full but she continued to eat anyways. Lethargy was definitely starting to set in and she knew she would regret it in the morning. She looked over at Ryan who seemed to be mirroring her thoughts as he took a bite of his potatoes.

“I’m stuffed,” Paxton leaned back and rested her hand on her stomach. She was glad she was in comfortable clothes.

“Best steak I have ever had,” Ryan added on.

“Best food…all day.” Paxton found it hard to breath with everything she just shoved down her throat.

“Agreed, hate to cut this short but I’m heading back to my room. I think I’m about to go into a food coma.” Ryan stood up and stretched.

Paxton couldn’t move, she just sat there and nodded her head. She had about twenty feet to get to her bed and it seemed like a daunting task. She groaned as she got to her feet and heard Ryan laughing at her.

“You gonna make it Pax?”

She shot him a look and he tried to stifle his laugh but was unsuccessful. “I’ll be fine. Now go, I want to sleep now.”

“Alright, see you in the morning.” He wrapped her in a hung and kissed her temple as he released her.

“Good night.” Paxton went and fell into her bed. She didn’t wait to see if Ryan really left.

“Make sure you lock up behind me!” he yelled.

She groaned as she got back up to lock the door. She never felt safe enough to sleep in a hotel without every lock on the door secure but tonight after everything she just ate she was fine not locking it. Her mind began to reason with her on why she should secure it as she made her way to the door. She locked it then went lazily back to her bed and curled up. She was definitely regretting the mass-intake of food she just consumed. Ryan had thrown in an appetizer, not knowing how big the proportions were. She settled further into the bed and she felt the fatigue take over as she couldn’t concentrate any longer. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

***

Paxton was startled awake. She was in the middle of the strangest dream about Jack. She couldn’t remember all of it just that she was running towards him reaching out, trying to save him. He was alone and broken in a dark corner of the woods. Paxton rubbed her eyes trying to dispel the look on Jack’s face. She turned on the light that was on the night stand. She noticed that it was only three in the morning. She yawned and laid back down, although she couldn’t fall asleep. Jack was haunting her.

Paxton grabbed her phone and checked her messages. She couldn’t remember when she fell asleep just sometime after Ryan left. She had two texts messages. Both from Duke, one that he missed her and the other said goodnight, the last one being about an hour ago. She noticed herself smiling at the phone and his little picture that popped up beside his message.

She didn’t know when it happened but Duke was managing to steal little pieces of her heart. She just couldn’t figure out why Jack still invaded her dreams and every once in a while her waking thoughts. She never wanted to be the girl that loved two men, the heartbreaker who shatters a man to pieces, the woman who couldn’t make up her mind. She always hated women who did that but now she understood how it felt. She remembered that when her friends used to tell her their dilemmas, she always mentally screamed at them telling her the choice was obvious and they were just too scared and selfish to make the decision, now who was she to talk?

She finally gave up on sleep and decided to turn on the television. There was nothing on but infomercials and mediocre movies. She settled on an older batman movie. Paxton watched it but didn’t really pay attention, hoping it would put her to sleep again.

Paxton awoke again thanks to her racing heart. She didn’t realize that she had fallen asleep again. She shut the television off and glanced at her clock once more. It was about eight in the morning now. She groaned and rolled over, but couldn’t fall back asleep.
When she closed her eyes again, she saw Jack. He was scared and desperately grasping for her to hold on to. Paxton kept reaching out for him but she just couldn’t reach him. Her failed attempts ending up in her grasping the thin air, each time she missed, Jack slipped further away. She felt the panic rise within her and that’s when Paxton woke up. She didn’t know what the cause of these dreams were but she knew that she wasn’t going back to sleep now.

Deciding to get out of bed, she went to the bathroom and started filling the Jacuzzi-sized tub. The hotel had some bath oils for it and she poured some in. A lilac scent filled the air. She took a deep breath. She felt herself relax some as she stuck her feet in the hot water. It stung her
skin but within a few minutes of sitting down, she felt the heat sink into her muscles relaxing them. She leaned her head back and just enjoyed the feeling concentrating on it.

She heard a knock at the door and she opened her eyes. She must have fallen asleep again. The only person who would be at her door is Ryan. She pulled herself up, realizing the coolness of the water. She quickly towel dried herself and wrapped the oversized, soft robe around her. She looked back at the bathtub wishing she was still in the nice hot water, but she felt refreshed.

Looking through the peephole, she confirmed that it was indeed Ryan. She opened the door and let him in.

“Hey, thought we may be able to go to lunch or something,” he said as he came in and waited in the doorway.

“Yeah sure, um I still need to get ready obviously, but wanna meet in about forty-five minutes?”

“Sounds good. I guess I should have just called you.”

“No it’s fine. I was just relaxing in the tub, no big deal.”

“Great, see you in a bit,” Ryan let himself out.

Paxton latched the door behind him. She scurried around knowing that she still needed to actually bathe herself since she unexpectedly fell asleep for two hours in tub. She amazed herself that she didn’t drown, but at least it was a dreamless sleep.

She met Ryan with record timing of getting ready. It wasn’t her best look but she figured, less makeup and hair fussing now and she could concentrate on it later when she was getting ready for the charity event.

They found a little place to eat a few blocks down. They settled into light conversation about the event they were going too. Each donated piece was going to be introduced by the person or gallery that was donating it. Paxton felt like Ryan should take this opportunity to speak about her best friend and his niece. They were both so proud of her but the gallery probably wouldn’t be open without Ryan coming up with the idea. After much debate, Paxton finally talked Ryan into giving the speech.

As they concentrated on their meals and conversation died down, she distracted herself wondering where she would be if Ella were still around. It was a Friday evening. She wondered if she would be working. If not, would she be spending it with Jack and the Avery family? By now Ella and Duke would have had toddler on their hands. She looked down as tears threatened her eyes.

“Pax, what do you think?”

She was pulled back to the present by Ryan’s voice. She had no idea what he just said.  The confused look on her face must have tipped him off.

“Where did you go on me, Pax?”

“Sorry, I was just thinking about Ella.” Paxton looked away unable to stare at him. She was willing the tears to disappear. She took a deep breath and turned back to him. “What was the question?”

He studied her for a few seconds before responding. She was grateful he wasn’t going to push her on the subject. She was able to reign in her emotions. “I was thinking that maybe at the event we should both be up at the podium introducing Ella’s piece.”

“Oh no, I don’t want to be up there, this is your moment.
I thought we already finished the discussion on this?”

Ryan laughed and it caused her to smile. “Okay,” he said still laughing. “Have you seen the piece Duke donated?”

“No,” she said taking a sip of her drink. “Is it one I have seen?”

“No, they are from Duke’s personal collection he kept for himself. I think I will leave you in the dark and you can see it revealed at the show.”

“Ha, ha, sounds good. Now I am really looking forward to the auction. Speaking of which, if I am going to make it on time I better get back and start getting ready.”

“Yeah, me too, my hair takes forever!” Ryan’s sarcastic tone and gestures made Paxton laugh as they left and headed back to the hotel.