Children in Her Shadow (18 page)

In Mary’s most recent letter to Ruth, she confided that her mother was about to move to Cambridgeshire to live with Colonel
Hawkeye
Brockenbeck who she had met when they visited Blackpool. Mary was concerned that her mother was planning to ‘live over the broom’ a common term used to suggest that an unmarried couple would live as man and wife.

Mary was no prude but she considered this to be improper and had told Mrs Morgan. Mary wrote that she would not be going to RAF Brampton in Cambridgeshire with her mother and told Ruth in the letter that she had joined the army to provide whatever help she could in the war effort. She ended her letter by saying, ‘
I will write to you as often as I can, my dear friend, but I hope for one thing in what I’m doing and that is to find someone to love and someone who will love me
‘.

It was evident within a matter of weeks that the attempt at the good life on the farm was placing an enormous strain on the family. Sam was unable or unwilling to employ additional help and so he and Ellen were hopelessly overstretched. Ellen took on the responsibility for the poultry and with a little advice from Tom she managed to maintain the egg production but at some cost to her own health. She would work from as early as six o’clock collecting and packing eggs, cleaning the runs and managing the chicks.

Sam’s natural overbearing and demanding personality had room to flourish as he drove Ellen and Tom without any regard for their health or their advancing years. On a Friday night when Ruth arrived home she would immediately be put to tasks that had failed to be done in the week mainly by Sam. Whilst Sam had nominated himself to manage the pigs they were poorly cared for and Ruth would spend much of her weekend under the command of Sam cleaning the pigsties and caring for the pigs.

The family muddled through but it was rare to find Edward or his father working. When Edward was at home on the weekend his father would give him the accounts to manage which were always done in the relative comfort of his radio shack where the sound of Morse code could always be heard whenever Edward was at home. Ruth continued to be suspicious and uncomfortable by Edward’s insistence that his amateur radio hobby was indeed a hobby.

Ruth’s instinct that there was somehow a link between Edward’s amateur radio activities and the war was well founded but she like the rest of Britain was not to know anything of what really was going on in the back bedrooms and garden sheds of almost fifteen thousand homes across Britain.

At the outbreak of the war, the intelligence agency MI-5 rolled out its contingency plans to deal with the problems of illicit radio transmissions by creating a new body called the Radio Security Service. Their role was to intercept, locate and close down all illicit wireless radios operated by enemy agents in Britain or by people who had not been licensed under the British defence regulations to operate a radio transmitter. The newly created body needed to create a completely new organisation and because of a lack of infrastructure and expertise, the Radio Security Service turned to the amateur radio world. Under the military intelligence cover of MI-18,
Voluntary Interceptors
were recruited and trained to scan the airwaves for radio traffic from in and around Germany and the rest of Europe. It was in September nineteen forty when Edward was signed off from his engagement in the Merchant Navy that he too was secretly recruited.

Edward had been a well known amateur radio enthusiast prior to his Merchant Navy days and had distinguished himself whilst at sea for his acute skills at being able to judge the probable distance of a radio signal and an uncanny ability to recognise the ‘signatures’, the small traits and individual idiosyncrasies of a particular person who was sending Morse Code. Edward would know the small tell-tale Morse signature of the radio operators on any of the company’s sister ships, a skill that was instantly noted and later acted upon. These were the exact skills that the Radio Security Service was looking for.

Edward was approached on leaving the Merchant Navy, asked to sign the Official Secrets Act and was then told about work that the Radio Security Service and what the Voluntary Interceptors were doing. Edward was immediately recruited. His engineering and radio skills combined made Edward ideal for work at the Vickers factory in Blackpool as an ‘essential worker’ and his employment there was secured. Finally, Edward was given the cover of being a Special Constable in order that the combination of being an essential engineer at Vickers and a Special Constable might explain why he was not serving on the front line of the war.

As a Voluntary Interceptor, Edward would be allocated predetermined wavelengths to monitor and his role was to listen and log the tell tale signs and traits of broadcasters sending Morse code. These logs were sent to a ‘Box’ at the Radio Security Service where they were examined by discriminators. Much of the material would eventually find its way to the National Codes and Cipher Centre at Bletchley Park.

None of this was ever known by Ruth who continued to suspect any manner of reasons why Edward spent so much time in the radio shack. For Edward, this clandestine existence was both exciting and convenient.

It was now December and a bitter winter was setting in which made life difficult on the farm. The farmhouse itself was always cold with the exception of the kitchen where most of the family would gather. Christmas Day in nineteen forty four was like any other but at least the family ate well. Charlotte was by now crawling and attempting her first steps and was increasingly close and dependent upon the weary Ellen.

Ruth was tired too and on one occasion she caught sight of herself in a mirror and was shocked to see herself looking so drawn and pale. The family managed to be civil with each other over the Christmas break but it was a fragile truce. Ruth was barely spoken to civilly and comparisons with Sarah were regularly held up as being what a model daughter-in-law would act like.

Ruth had discussed with Edward the deteriorating relationship between herself and him and the open animosity shown towards her by his parents. Edward attempted to improve their relationship but could not or would not do anything to change the way his parents treated her. Ruth even contemplated leaving Eastbrook Farm and trying to set up home with Charlotte and even discussed this with Moira.

Ruth approached Edward with the suggestion that they should rent the nearby Bowland Moss farmhouse which had been empty for some time and he was outraged by the suggestion. He said that he was perfectly content staying with his parents. He simply could not see how desperately unhappy Ruth had become.

In early January nineteen forty five already depressed and looking ill Ruth was horrified to realise that she was pregnant. On this occasion she didn’t need an African Clawed Frog to tell her, she knew for herself as she felt the world collapsing around her. Her only chance of escape from this unhappy marriage had hinged upon the faint hope of her finding someone to take in a mother and child… but a pregnant mother and child would now be out of the question.

Ruth met the news of her pregnancy with utter despair. By now she was already six weeks pregnant and still she kept the news entirely to herself not sharing it with Edward and certainly not with Ellen. She slipped into dark reflective moods where she hated herself, despising the person she felt she had become. The impact of the deception she had created with her mother, Mary and Auntie Lott the very people she loved the most and who loved her meant that she felt she stood alone.

Ruth eventually spoke to Moira about her pregnancy and she could see on Ruth’s face that the news brought her little joy. Ruth foresaw little excitement from Edward about the news and even less from Sam and Ellen. Moira insisted that Ruth should go home on the weekend and share with her husband the news of her pregnancy and not build pictures of what his reaction might be.

Moira’s advice was sound but Ruth was right to be anxious. Edward was ambivalent when she told him her news almost to the point of detachment as though it was not a matter for him to get involved in. Having heard the news he turned to leave the room evidently busied by more important matters than this. Ruth stopped Edward and asked if he was pleased and taking a moment to reflect he simply said, “It doesn’t matter if I’m pleased or not … you’re pregnant.”

It felt to Ruth that what love there might have been in their marriage was slowly draining away. But, as though he caught Ruth’s mood, he slowly turned to face her and said, “I am pleased but also shocked given that we don’t get much time together these days.” Ruth tried to analyse the comment but settled for it being more positive than negative. They went into the kitchen together and Edward announced their news to his open mouthed parents.

Ruth’s pregnancy was marked again by morning sickness and when that was over with sustained periods of deep melancholy. Ruth had grown thin and her face was gaunt. On the insistence of Moira she consulted Dr Carr and he confirmed that she was seriously under weight and that if she didn’t “pull herself together” she would jeopardise the health of herself and her baby. This seemed to hit the right nerve with Ruth and armed with some tonics, iron tablets and advice to take more rest she left his house feeling rather more positive and slightly more energised. But this was the nature of her demeanour, when she was alone she would fall into deep depressions as she rebuked herself for the web of deceit she had woven. Then when someone said something nice to her, or when she had enjoyed a happy couple of hours with Charlotte her spirits would again lift. Thankfully, her duties as a weekend farmer were reduced when it was decided to sell the herd of cattle and concentrate only on poultry and pigs.

Then came the very best news of all, when on the eighth of May nineteen forty five, the BBC Home Service carried the news that a ceasefire had been signed and Britain was at last at peace. Ruth and the family sat around the wireless to hear a speech from the King and the Prime Minister. It was as though the nation had breathed a collective sigh of relief that this ghastly war was over and that loved ones would slowly return home to their families.

But the joy soon turned to tears when news came from Singapore that confirmed that Michael, Ruth’s beloved brother, soul mate and friend had been killed in the massacre at the Alexandra Military Hospital in Singapore in nineteen forty two. The news from the Army said that he had been buried in the grounds along with his military colleagues and their patients who had also died on that day.

Ruth had held out the hope that Michael might have been spared the tyranny of the Japanese occupation of Singapore and so this news was a terrible shock to her. Ruth replied by letter to her mother who had broken the news by telegram. Ruth wrote of her last letter from Michael in which he had spoken so fondly of the Singapore people and she repeated Michael’s own words from that letter in the hope that they might bring some comfort to her mother: ‘
I miss the valleys of my beautiful Wales and the song of its people, I miss the sparrow and the black bird but I am a happy man, and if I should die here in this far off land, tell Mam …..I saw swallows in February.’

This news hit Ruth hard but, with the encouragement of Moira she continued to gain weight and she regained some of her youthful spirit. Work continued much as before but at a reduced pace which suited Ruth as the summer months of nineteen forty five were hot and she was tiring quickly. Ruth’s weekends were increasingly spent with Charlotte who seemed to have rediscovered her mother. Now eighteen months old, Charlotte was a handful for Ellen who seemed to have visibly aged. She had also mellowed a little particularly as Ruth was taking Charlotte off her hands during the weekends giving Ellen some time to herself.

As the summer heat gave way to the refreshing coolness of late September Ruth had been given time from work to have her baby which was due in just a couple of weeks. Ruth had blossomed and grown and was a picture of health. Her long black hair regained its sheen and her complexion was that of a young woman again. Ruth like many women of her time was a smoker and would enjoy nothing more than to sit on the bench in the farm yard as the evening sun set in the west and enjoy an un-tipped Senior Service cigarette. Ruth was never a drinker, unlike her father, but was encouraged by Dr Carr to take a glass of stout each evening and so Ruth was to be found on most evenings with a cigarette in one hand and her class of Mackison stout in the other. The farm dog, an ageing Border collie named Susie always accompanied her as it also marked the end of the day for her too.

The day soon came when the sisters, Aunt Matilda and Aunt Dorothy arrived to supervise the delivery of Ruth’s second child. They were given the spare bedroom and until the delivery was due they would spend hours in the vegetable garden tidying up from the summer produce and preparing for the winter to come. The few apple trees that remained in what was once a commercial orchard provided an abundant crop for the family. These were sold at the farm gate to passersby and were also sold through the local market.

On the morning of fifteenth of October, Ruth went into labour and some six hours later had given birth to a baby girl. The thoughtless, haughty consensus amongst the Aunts and Ellen was that the child was a throwback to Ruth’s Irish ancestry because of her shock of red hair and the small cherub nose that in their view “didn’t have the strong Anglo Saxon features of the Carmichael line.” Her child was nonetheless, claimed by all, including Edward to be a beauty something that Charlotte found unconvincing pointing out the wrinkly skin!

Once again, following the tradition of her own mother Ruth announced the baby was to be called Maria Clare. The tutting was clearly audible to Ruth but she simply reconfirmed the name and that was it. Maria was a petite child with fair complexion and the early signs of freckles across her cheeks. She was a contented child from birth, rarely crying and always attentive to the world around her. But Maria would fight for the attention of her father and the family who continued to lavish their love on Charlotte who was by now enchanting and entertaining to the family.