The Autumn Diaries
- The One About the Guy With the Dolls
- January 26, later in the day
- The One with the Guy Who Wanted Tons of Stuff Up His Ass
- The One with the Cop While I Was Locked Up
- The One with the Guy Who Wanted to Act Out All of the Animated GIFs
- The One with the 18 Marshmallows
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LEXI MAXWELL’S
THE AUTUMN DIARIES
***WARNING***
This is a work of erotic fiction and contains GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF SEX, WHICH MAY OFFEND SOME AUDIENCES. This book is meant for MATURE AUDIENCES AGED 18 OR OLDER (or whatever the local laws are in your area). All sexually active characters in this work are 18 years of age or older.
First published by Lexi Maxxwell, 2013
All rights reserved under the international and Pan-American Copyright Conventions.
No part of this eBook may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, without written permission from the publisher. Excerpts may be used for the purposes of review.
This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters and incidents are the product of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, organizations, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © Lexi Maxxwell 2013
Visit me at
www.LexiMaxxwell.com
The Autumn Diaries
Naughty USA’s favorite character, self-professed cumslut, writer, and stand-in for Ms. Maxwell herself, Autumn Cole, kept a diary all last year. This diary is a mix of short entries and longer anecdotes that detailed the year she spent being Lexi Maxxwell and publishing to Amazon. With this crude and fun collection of snippets and stories, Lexi will get you laughing as hard as she you usually makes you tingle.
XXX
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I LOVE WRITING AS LEXI Maxxwell.
There's a certain freedom in writing outside the lines, and Lexi gives me that freedom — to write with abandon, telling those stories I would want to read most, thick with the sort of characters that hold my interest and keep me turning the pages.
I've spent a lot of years as a paid writer, but only started writing fiction as Lexi early last year. Because I love reading erotica, I figured that was the best place to start my storytelling adventures.
I wrote just two stories before I created Autumn. She has since become my favorite character. While I love many if not all of the people I create, Autumn has a special place in my heart because she, more than any other Lexi character, allows me to speak through her.
Autumn is a self-described "cum bucket." A slut without apology. However, like many antiheroes, Autumn Cole also has a code with which she lives by. She loves her boyfriend Sam and would never do anything to hurt him. Autumn is good and loyal and smart — she just happens to prefer cock in her holes as often as she can get it!
Autumn evolved throughout last year. Her very first appearance was in Swallowing Secrets, the first chapter in the Naughty USA series. She quickly earned her own series with Talking Dirty, stories which were written in first person, detailing some of Autumn's bedroom (and bathroom and kitchen, and pretty much everywhere out in public) adventures from those years before she met Sam.
After writing a second project (not yet titled) starring Autumn, back to writing in third person, I wanted a third piece of work that tied it and Talking Dirty together. This new project had to blend the third and first person voices from the other two "Autumn projects" together, but more than that, this project had to be funny.
I'm very proud of
The Autumn Diaries, and while I don't think it's necessarily the sexiest thing Lexi has written, I do believe it's the funniest thing I’ve done so far. While I try to sprinkle humor into each of my stories, it’s the focus for The Autumn Diaries.
With each of my books I want you to feel something else, beyond the current I hope will crackle between your legs. With Anticipation I wanted you to feel Caitlin's desperation to finally let herself go. In Bitten I wanted you to feel Henry and Emma's longing. In Naughty USA, I want you to fall in love with all the slutty inhabitants of inferno.
With the Autumn Diaries, I want you to laugh.
I truly hope you do. There is some fact in this fiction, and an extra heaping of funny.
I hope you enjoy it!
Kisses and cumshots!
Lexi
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MET THIS BARTENDER DOWNTOWN TONIGHT at
Pulse
. He said he thought I was cute, so I suggested we head into the nightclub’s stockroom. He said he was the only bartender on for the night because the other guy called in sick and ditched his shift. He couldn’t leave the bar. So I went around, crawled behind the bar, and let him tickle my tonsils with his tool while he kept pouring drinks. I don’t think anyone even knew I was there, at least not until he started to cum, bucking hard enough to make me bang my head into the soda hose, which then turned on and started spraying all over the place. At first I didn’t notice, figuring he was just blowing the world’s biggest load.
Anyway, after ringing in the new year with Tyrone’s (Tyrese’s?) cock down the back of my throat, dipping down into my stomach like a dipstick, I can barely talk, so I figured I’d write in here:
Dear diary, I’m sorry I’ve neglected you.
But now a giant sausage has robbed me of
my ability to speak, so I’ll be writing instead.
Anyway, I’m both excited and really nervous about the filthy little stories I’ve been banging out on the keyboard. I mean, they’re great while I’m writing them. Truly, the gift that keeps on giving. The other day I downloaded a vibrator app to my phone, wrapped my phone in a baggie, and spent the rest of the day working at my computer with a $400 device in my pussy. I ironically had the phone set on vibrate, so I found out later that my mom had been trying to call for like the entire fucking day and was super pissed I didn’t answer. But even if I’d known she was calling, I don’t think I could have answered. How can you talk to your mom after she’s been in your pussy, contributing to the subtle rocking that got you all worked up?
“Hi mom, thanks for the seven orgasms.” It’s like Thanksgiving dinner all over.
Gross
.
I love my stories, and love writing them. They have (if possible) made me hornier than ever. I keep cruising for more cock to fill more holes.
But
I’m starting to get nervous about what’s going to happen
after
I publish them. They’re all about my family, after all. Celeste won’t give a shit, but what about everyone else… even if they’re not actually in the sex scenes?
I’m pretty torn. I love all of these stories — the ones I make up
and
the ones that really happened — but I really don’t want to piss everyone off. Not that it’s a huge secret or taboo or anything, but not everyone is as accepting and slutty and dick-hungry as me.
Ouch, my throat really hurts. I think he shot cum into my sinuses.
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LOL, I ALREADY FORGOT ABOUT how I couldn’t talk when I did that last entry. I ran into that bartender again this morning — this time at Greens. We were in the condiment aisle. When I saw him, I took a jar of mayo and tossed this to him and said, “I think you left a bunch of this on New Years’, so here’s a replacement.” It was a joke with too many layers, maybe, for a morning supermarket run, seeing as the “mayo” referred to a major jizz explosion and “my place” was actually my throat and face, but he got it and laughed. He was awkward about it, which was sorta cute.
I managed to find out his name is actually Tyrese, like Tyrese Gibson. I should remember that shit since the dude sorta looks like Tyrese Gibson.
He said I was so drunk the other night that he didn’t think I’d remember him, then he looked RIGHT AT my tits, like not even trying to hide it. So I told him I wasn’t sure, and I said, “Let me see,” then backed him up into that little corner where the pharmacy has that blood pressure machine thing and pulled out his dick. He protested, trying to stop me. Like the awkward shit with the mayo, it was sorta cute.
Once his dong was hanging in front of me, I shook my head and told him that it didn’t help much since I’m a white girl and all black guys look alike to me. He laughed at that, but still kept trying to tuck his beautiful monster away. I used his dick like a handle to pull him over to the blood pressure machine, then put his prick in it and press the button, but unfortunately the cuff only squeezes down so far. It’s a shame, considering how cool it would be for him to say he fucked a blood pressure machine.
But then some lady came in to buy socks for varicose veins and it kind of killed the mood, so I gave Tyrese’s dick a quick last glance then went on my way.
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SWALLOWING SECRETS
COMES OUT TODAY. I’m pretty fucking nervous. Oh, and by the way, I figured out at least part of the way I’ll deal with the shit publicly. Specifically, I won’t deal with it at all. A few days ago (maybe New Year’s Day after that guy came to the door asking for directions and I ended up sitting on his dick while his wife waited in the car), it dawned on me that I could use a pen name. Duh. So now, in print, I’m “Lexi Maxxwell.” It’s on my book cover and everything… or at least, it will be when the book publishes. I just did the thing on Amazon, publishing it as an ebook, and right now it’s in the guts of their system waiting for approval. It sucks. You have to wait and wait, and it says, “Under review” in the little KDP dashboard, like they’re judging you. It’s been that way forever. I actually pressed publish yesterday afternoon, so it’s been over 24 hours. Everything I’ve read online says it’s not supposed to take that long, but everything I’ve read online also says that Amazon is like super careful about smut. I guess they don’t want people talking about fucking kids or dogs or whatever, and that’s smart, I suppose, but everyone in my stories is over 18 and are all just major cum sluts. And cum dealers. No dogs.