Certified Disaster (Beautiful Mess Book 2) (23 page)

Cole’s mind started spinning, and he
stumbled to the couch.  Bri had spent the night with Matt.  His heart began
pounding in disbelief and rage.  Not only had she slept with Seb, she’d
apparently moved on to Matt, too.  He felt a roar of anger tear through him,
and he was glad Jordan wasn’t there to wake up.  How could she do this to him? 
Was she trying to prove some kind of sick, sadistic point?  Was she
deliberately trying to hurt him? 

He doubled over as anguish engulfed
him.  His heart felt like it was being torn from his chest, and he was left
there to slowly, bleed out.  He had never felt such acute pain before.  Bri,
the only girl he’d ever loved, the girl who professed to love him so
completely, had just proven that she really didn’t give a shit about him.  How
could she, if she was sleeping with his friends just to shove it in his face. 

No, he’d been stupid to believe her,
stupid to so blindly give her his heart like he had.  Well, he’d learned that
painful lesson, and it wasn’t a mistake he’d ever make again. 

Two could play at this game. 
Burying his pain under his mounting anger, he smiled a mirthless grin.  She was
being deliberately hurtful.  Well, he could hurt her back.  And he knew just
how to do it.

That night he declined Jordan’s
offer to go hang out with some friends.  Instead, he walked down to the dance
team’s dorms.  He climbed the stairs, strode right past Bri’s room, forcing
himself not to care whether or not she was home, and stopped outside Jillian’s
door.

Jillian had been working her way
through the basketball team, and Cole didn’t know who she was currently dating,
nor did he care.  She’d made it obvious that she would be available if he ever
decided he wanted to start something.  Well, he didn’t exactly want to start
something, but he definitely wanted to prove something.

Ignoring the part of him screaming
that this was the worst thing he could possibly do, that there would be no
coming back from this, that he needed to turn around right now and walk away,
he lifted his hand and knocked on the door.

A moment later Jillian opened it,
surprise flashing on her face before a knowing grin appeared.

“Cole.  I must say, I wasn’t
expecting you to be knocking on my door.  To what do I owe the pleasure?”
 
Her eyes drank him
in greedily, and he forced himself to repress a shudder.  Steeling his nerves
and his resolve, he gave her a lazy grin.

“I was in the neighborhood,”
he shrugged.  “Can
I come in, or is this a bad time?”
 
He looked past her, trying to see if anyone else was there.

“Lacey,”
Jillian called, not taking her eyes
off Cole.  “Go find something to do.”

“What?”
Jillian’s roommate answered from
inside.  “What am I supposed to do on a Sunday night?”

“I really don’t care.  You just can’t
be here.”
 
She
finally turned her attention from Cole to glare at Lacey.  “Get out. 
Now
.”

“Fine,”
Lacey huffed angrily, and stormed to
the door.  She froze when she saw Cole, her mouth dropping open. 

Jillian pushed her out the door.  “And
don’t come back any time soon.”

Lacey walked down the walkway, her
eyes wide and confused as she watched Cole.  He gave her an indifferent smile,
then turned back to Jillian, who was also watching him.  She moved aside, and
motioned for him to come in.

“So,”
she began, shutting the door and leaning against it.  “What brings Cole
Marra to my door?  Surely your girlfriend would object if she knew you were
here. 
Does
she know you’re here?”
 
Jillian’s eyes gleamed wickedly. 

“I’d have to have a girlfriend to
care.”
 
He
turned and looked at Jillian meaningfully.  A slow, satisfied smile spread
across her face, and for a moment he felt sick.  That pesky part of him was
still begging him to leave, before things went any further.  He silenced that
nagging voice with a surge of righteous anger.  He wasn’t doing anything that
Bri hadn’t already done herself, multiple times.  They weren’t together
anymore, so what he was doing wasn’t technically wrong.  He quickly silenced
that part that was yelling that this
was
wrong, for many,
many
reasons. 

“Somehow that doesn’t surprise me.”
 
Jillian stepped
closer.  “I knew you’d get tired of her eventually.  I mean, she’s just so
bland, and boring, and so dammed condescending.  I knew she wouldn’t hold your
attention for long.  I just had to wait out the inevitable.”

Ire spike through him at the way
Jillian was talking about Bri, but he tamped it down.  One thing was clear
though, if he was going to do this, he had to get Bri out of his head.

“Yes, well apparently you didn’t
have to wait long.  You wouldn’t happen to have anything to drink, would you?”
 
He gave her a
charming smile.

“Sure.  Why don’t you make yourself
comfortable, and I’ll be right back.”
 
She walked back to her bedroom, and reappeared a moment later with a
large bottle of liquor.  Grabbing a couple of glasses, she sat down next to
him, offering him the bottle.  He poured himself a large glass, and tipped it
at her before chugging the whole thing down.  Jillian eyed him, but didn’t say
anything as she poured and sipped her own.

“So, you and Bri really broke up?”

“Does it matter?  I’m here aren’t I?”
 
He poured himself
another.

“No, it doesn’t matter.  I just love
the idea that Bri’s perfect little world has come crumbling down around her. 
She was so certain that nothing would ever come between you two.  It was really
quite annoying, listening to her go on and on about it.  There were times I
wanted to smack her just to shut her up.”

Cole felt his anger at Jillian
spiking again, and finished off his second glass. 

“You know what,”
he looked at her.  “Let’s
not talk about Bri anymore.  In fact, I don’t want to ever hear her name again,
okay?”

“Okay,”
Jillian smiled and finished her
drink.  “So, what
do
you want to talk about?”

“Who says I want to talk?”
 
The alcohol was
buzzing through him, wiping away rational thought, and removing his reluctance
and hesitation.

“Then, why are you here?”
 
Jillian gave him a
coy smile.

“You know why I’m here,”
he gave her his
cocky smirk.

“Yes, I think I do.”
 
She gazed at him a
moment, lust obvious in her eyes.  She stood, and walked back to her bedroom. 
She turned around and raised her eyebrow.  “Well, are you coming?”

This was it, this was his last
chance to change his mind and walk away.  Part of him wanted to.  Part of him
recoiled in horror over what he was about to do, to himself and to Bri.  But
his anger and vindictiveness were all consuming, no doubt aided by the alcohol,
and the desire to hurt her like she’d hurt him won out over everything else.

He stood, and followed Jillian to
her room.

Bri walked into dance practice
Monday night and was immediately accosted by Jillian’s shrill laughter.  There
were a cluster of girls around her, listening raptly as Jillian told some
story.  Bri walked by them, not paying Jillian any mind, but she caught sight
of Lacey, Jillian’s roommate, and paused.  Lacey’s eyes got big with worry when
she saw Bri, and she looked back and forth between Bri and Jillian
apprehensively.  Something was wrong.

Bri looked back at Jillian, finally
listening to what she was saying.

“I knew he couldn’t resist me
forever.  I knew it was just a matter of time before he got bored and came
looking for me.  So I wasn’t terribly surprised to find him at my door last night.”

Uninterested in Jillian’s latest
conquest, and unsure what Lacey was trying to tell her, Bri turned to walk
away.

“It took a little longer than I
thought it would for him to get tired of Bri, but let me tell you, Cole Marra
was worth the wait.”

Bri’s heart stopped, and she spun
around.  She had to have heard wrong.  Jillian did not just say what Bri
thought she’d said. 

Jillian was watching her, a
malicious smirk on her face.  “What?  You didn’t know I was banging your ex?”

Bri recoiled a step, her mind
refusing to believe it.  “No.  That’s not possible.  He would never…”
she trailed off as
Jillian laughed.  Bri’s stomach dropped, and she couldn’t breathe.

“Oh, I assure you, it’s very
possible.”

“You’re lying.”
 
Anger spiked
through Bri and she stepped into Jillian’s face.  “Why?  What are you trying to
do?”

Jillian glared down at her smugly.  “Oh,
I’m not lying.  Cole came to me.  And he came
very
willingly.”

Bri’s pulse began pounding in her
ears, and all rational thought left her.  Fury roared through her, demanding
that she finally put Jillian in her place.  Instinctively she pulled back her
fist, ready to wipe that satisfied smirk off Jillian’s repulsive face.

“Bri!”
Stephanie yelled.  She and Stacie ran up and grabbed her arms, pulling
her back.

Bri fought against them, trying to
get to Jillian.  The girl had been asking for a beat down since the day they
met, and Bri’s furious rage was begging her to give Jillian what she deserved. 
Addison stepped in front of her, looking into Bri’s eyes, begging her to calm
down and listen.

“You can’t do this, Bri,”
Addison pressed.  “Yes,
she deserves it, but you’ll get kicked off the team, and suspended from
school.  Or worse.  Please,”
she begged quietly, “walk away.”

Bri glared daggers at Jillian as she
forced herself to calm down.  After a moment, when she was sure she was in
control enough not to attack the bitch, she nodded at Stacie and Stephanie, who
finally released her. 

Seeing that the danger was over,
Jillian grinned evilly.

“So,”
she turned back to her groupies.  “Who wants to hear all the details?  I
promise that whatever you’ve imagined doesn’t come close to comparing with the
real thing.  Right, Bri?”
 
She smirked and sauntered away.

Bri stood there, chest heaving, as
everything shattered around her. 

“Bri?”
 
Stephanie put a hand on her arm comfortingly.  “Are you okay?”

“No,”
she managed to say.  “I can’t stay for practice.  Tell Tanya that I’m
sick or something, but I have to get out of here.”
 
She turned and bolted from the gym,
trying to ignore the sad, pitying gazes of her friends.  She stopped outside to
catch her breath.

Cole had slept with Jillian.

She was certain that Cole didn’t
give a crap about Jillian, which meant that he’d only done it to hurt her.  She
didn’t want to believe he’d do that, that he’d be that callous and cruel, but
Jillian’s smug-ass gloating proved that he had.  Bri doubled over, afraid she
was going to be sick.  If Cole had done this to be purely vindictive, he couldn’t
have been more effective.

Bri stood slowly, white hot anger
shooting through her.  She knew he was upset about what he thought had happened
between her and Seb, but that didn’t give him any right to be this brutally
hurtful.  She didn’t care how angry he was, he didn’t get to treat her this way
and get away with it. 

The ringing of her phone pulled her
out of her vengeful thoughts.  She saw that Matt was calling, and after a
moment of deliberation, decided to answer.

“Hey.”
 
Matt’s voice sounded strange, like he was stuffed up with a cold or
something.

“Are you alright?”
she asked,
concerned.

“Not exactly.  Have you talked to
Cole lately?  Do you know what his freaking problem is?”
 
Matt’s nasally voice rose with anger.

“No, why?”

“After Saturday night, I decided to
try to talk some sense into the stupid prick.  So I pulled him aside before
practice tonight and asked if I could talk to him about what’s going on with
you two, and the guy freaking punched me in the nose!  What the hell, Bri? 
What did I do to piss him off?”

“I don’t know.  I haven’t talked to
him since…
since
I got back from California.”
 
Cole had been avoiding her since their confrontation.  She kept hoping
he would come to his senses, but he was taking his sweet time pulling his head
out of his butt.  “You know as much as I do.”

“Great.  So Cole mysteriously has it
out for me for some unknown reason.  As if things couldn’t possibly get any
worse.”

“I’m so sorry, Matt.”
 
Bri’s mind was
spinning.  Why would Cole attack Matt like that?  Matt was his closest friend
here at Duke.  It seemed that Cole had a lot to answer for.  “I’ll talk to him. 
There are a few things I need to discuss with him also.”

“Bri, are you okay?”
 
Matt didn’t miss
the steel in her voice, and he sounded worried.  “What happened?”

“I’ll tell you later.  Right now,
you don’t need anything else to worry about.  How are
you
doing?”

“I’m…
managing,”
he
sighed, and Bri could hear his sadness and pain.  “Is Stacie at practice?  Did
you see her?”

“Yeah,”
she replied reluctantly.  “I’m not
feeling well, so I’m not staying for practice, or I’d talk to her for you.”

“You don’t have to do that.  She
made her choice, and nothing that you or I say will change her mind.  Wait,”
he said
suspiciously.  “You don’t sound sick.  Why aren’t you staying for practice? 
What aren’t you telling me?”

Bri smiled to herself.  Leave it to
Matt to be more concerned about her, when his whole world was falling apart. 
Although, her whole world was falling apart, too.  They now had that in
common.  Her heart clenched at the thought.

“I promise to tell you everything
later, okay?  But right now, I need to talk to Cole.  Is he still at practice?”

“No.  After he punched me, Coach
sent him home to cool off.  He should be in his room.  Do you want me to come
with you?”

“No.  This is something I need to do
alone.  But I’ll call you tonight and check in, okay?”

“Okay.  Just be careful.  He was in
a really bad mood already.  I don’t know what’ll happen if you provoke him.”

“Don’t worry about me,”
Bri said grimly.  “It’s
Cole you should be worried about.”

She stormed off for Cole’s dorm, not
even bothering to stop and change out of her dance clothes.  As she walked, Bri
stoked her anger, letting it burn away any other emotions she was feeling.  She
needed that anger.  Without it she would be a pathetic, blubbering mess, and
she could not confront Cole in that state.  She let her anger and betrayal fuel
her, hanging on to them like her life depended on it.

She reached Cole’s door, and
knocked.  When he didn’t answer after a minute, she pounded angrily until he
finally cracked the door.  His eyes widened in surprise, before annoyed
disinterest fell back over his face.

“What are you doing here?”
he asked.

“We need to talk.”
 
Bri pushed by him
and into his room without waiting for an invitation.

“Fine.”
 
He shut the door and sat on the
couch.

Bri remained standing, glaring at
him while she tried to decided where to start.

“What?”
Cole finally snipped.

“You been a busy little bee lately,”
she ground out,
anger lacing every syllable.  “Buzzing around, leaving chaos and destruction in
your wake.”

“What are you talking about?”
he asked,
exasperated.

“I’m talking about you punching
Matt.  I’m talking about you…,”
she couldn’t make herself say it, “and Jillian.”

“You heard about that?”
 
Cole’s face paled
slightly, and Bri felt a flare of satisfaction.

“Jillian was bragging about it when
I walked into dance tonight.”

“That was fast,”
he ran a hand
through his hair, but otherwise looked unconcerned.  “So?”
 

Something in Bri’s heart snapped.

“How could you?”
 
She couldn’t hide
the pain in her voice.  She felt tears threatening and closed her eyes to force
them back.  She opened them again, and found Cole glaring at her.

“Oh, like you’re one to talk.  I
haven’t done anything that you haven't already.  The only difference is that
I
haven’t done anything wrong.  We broke up.  I can see whoever I want.”

“But
Jillian
?  You said
yourself that she was completely repulsive.  You don’t care about her, you don’t
even like her.  So why would you do it?”
 
She looked at him, pleading with him to tell her she was wrong, that
this was just a misunderstanding.

“Why do you think, Bri,”
he scoffed.

“I told you, I didn’t sleep with
Seb.  He’s been trying to tell you that, too, but you won’t let either of us
explain.  Besides, that was weeks ago.  Why Jillian, why now?”

“I know, Bri,”
he stated flatly. 
His eyes held her with such intensity she couldn’t look away.  What she saw
there rocked her to her core.

“You know what?”
she asked,
completely confused.

“I know about Matt,”
his voice rose
angrily.  “I caught you sneaking out of his room yesterday morning.  I know you
spent the night with him.  So, I figured that if you were going to sleep with
all of my friends to hurt me, the least I could do was return the favor.  Only,
I knew that the best way to hurt you was through Jillian.  So, I did.”
 
He gave her a
satisfied smirk, but his eyes were cold orbs, full of anger and pain and…

Bri gasped and took an involuntary
step back at the hate in Cole’s eyes.  She never in her life expected him to
look at her like that, like he totally despised her.  Seeing it, she felt
something in her heart die.

“You think I slept with Matt, so you
slept with Jillian to get back at me?  And then you punched Matt, because you
thought…”
 
She
shook her head sadly, everything finally making sense.  She swallowed back all
of the painful emotions trying to force their way to the surface. She couldn
’
t
’
t
deal with them yet.  If she did, she’d break apart right there, and there’d be
no pulling herself back together. 

Cole didn’t love her, not really. 
If he really loved her, he never would’ve been able to do something so
horrible.  If he really loved her, he would’ve given her at least a little bit
of trust and worked to find the truth.  But he didn’t.  And he must not have
thought that she really loved him, either.  If he
knew
that she loved
him, he wouldn’t even have to question her fidelity.  He never would have
believed her capable of betraying him.  Her stomach dropped as she realized
that their whole relationship had been built on an illusion. 

She forced herself to look up at him,
to meet his eyes.  She hoped that he could see the honesty in hers, though she
knew it wouldn’t make any difference now.

“I didn’t sleep with Matt.  Stacie
broke up with him Saturday night, and he was devastated.  He was in really bad
shape, and I was too worried to leave him alone.  I was worried he’d do
something stupid, or dangerous.  So, yes, I spent the night at his place, but I
slept on the couch.  Nothing happened between us.”

“Right,”
Cole laughed harshly.  “Like I’m
supposed to believe that Matt, the campus man-whore, was that upset about yet
another break up?  No, I think it’s much more likely that he was trying to
stick it to Stacie with a little pay-back, rebound sex.  And you were all too
willing to help him out.”

“Is that what you think of me?  That
I’d just go hop into bed with whoever offers?”
 
Bri was outraged.  How could he think so little of her.

“If the shoe fits,”
he shrugged.  “But
don’t worry, I’m over it.  You can do whoever you want.  I don’t care anymore. 
We had our fun, and now it’s over.  It’s time for both of us to move on with
our lives.”

His apathy and total disregard for
her made her bristle.  This didn’t sound like the Cole she loved, but it did
sound familiar.

“How fast you fall back into it. 
How did I not see it sooner?”
 
She shook her head, disgusted with Cole, and angry at herself for being
so blind.

“What are you even talking about?”
he threw up his
hands in frustration.

“How fast you fall back into your
old patterns.  How fast you’ve regressed back to the old selfish Cole, who
doesn’t care about anyone but himself.  The apathetic Cole who doesn’t let
anyone close enough to hurt him.  The douche bag Cole who breezes into and out
of relationships that don’t mean anything to him, because he refuses to let
himself care.  I thought that Cole was gone for good.  Unfortunately, it looks
like I was wrong, like I was wrong about so many other things.  I see now how
blind I was.  You lied to me, and I believed you.  But even worse, I lied to
myself.”