Certified Disaster (Beautiful Mess Book 2) (21 page)

He looked up from his menu.  “Yeah?”

“Do you know those girls over there?”
 
She tilted her
head at the table of salivating co-eds.

“Oh,”
Seb glanced over.  “Yeah, those are some cheerleaders from school.”
 
He returned his
attention to the menu.

“Seriously?”
Bri laughed.  “That’s it?”

“What?”
 
Seb looked up confused.

“You really haven’t noticed the
table full of drooling girls over there who have been eyeing you since you
first sat down?”
 
She
couldn’t believe how obtuse he was.  “And now that you do notice them, you don’t
find that a little tempting?”

Seb glanced between Bri and the
cheerleaders a couple times before responding.

“They aren’t my type,”
he shrugged, like
that explained everything.

Bri burst out laughing.  Seb set his
menu down and leaned closer.

“You really think I’d be interested
in that?”
 
He
motioned to the other table, and the girls started giggling.  “A bunch of
superficial, self-centered opportunists, who only want to sleep with me because
I’m popular, or they see NFL dollar signs when they look at me?  Frankly, I’m a
little insulted that you think I’m that shallow.”
 
He leaned back and crossed his arms, looking a little hurt.

“Oh, Seb,”
she reached over and put her hand on
his arm.  “I’m sorry.”
 
She was sorry, but she couldn’t keep the smile off her face, the whole
situation was too funny.  “I don’t think you’re shallow at all.  In fact, you
are one of the deepest people I know.”

“Thank you,”
he smiled.  “So can we forget about
the cheerleaders and enjoy our dinner?”

“Absolutely.”
 
Bri sat back and picked up her menu.

“Good, because I have an ulterior
motive asking you out tonight.  There’s something I want to talk to you about.”

“Okay,”
she replied warily, setting her menu
back down.  His serious tone made her nervous.

“I’ve been waiting for you to tell
me what’s bothering you, but you obviously aren’t going to open up any time
soon, so I’m taking matters into my own hands.  What’s wrong, Bri?  Something is
going on, and I want you to tell me what it is.”
 

“What?  Nothing is wrong.  I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not, though you’ve been
doing your best to convince everyone that that’s true.  But I’m not buying it. 
You’re sad, and withdrawn, and you look like you’re ready to burst out in tears
any minute.  Something happened.  Something happened with Cole, didn’t it?”
 
He held her gaze,
daring her to contradict him.  When she didn’t respond, he pressed, “Come on,
Bri.  It’s the only reason you’d be this unhappy.  You can talk to me, you
know.  I’m worried about you.”

The sincere concern in his eyes
broke down her resistance, and all the strength she’d managed to build up came
crashing down.  Despite her reluctance to tell anyone what had happened, she
found herself telling him everything.  Even the details she hadn’t shared with
anyone else.  By the time she finished telling Seb the whole story, she had
tears trailing down her cheeks.

“That effing idiot,”
Seb growled, his
eyebrows furrowed.  “That stupid, selfish
jackass
!”
 
His voice rose
with anger.  “He seriously doesn’t know how freaking lucky he is.  I can’t
believe he would throw everything away like that.”
 
He shook his head.  “Bri, this is not
your fault.  You haven’t done anything wrong.  This has nothing to do with you,
and everything to do with him.”

“Thanks,”
she managed a small smile.  She wanted
to believe him, but some self-deprecating part of her wouldn’t let her.

“I’m serious, Bri.  Everyone can see
how amazing you are.  You’ve been nothing but supportive of Cole this whole
time.  You don’t deserve to be treated like this.”

She smiled at him, warmed at his
concern.

“So, do you still feel like hanging
out?”
he asked
hesitantly.  “Or would you rather go back to the house?”

She thought for a moment.  “Hanging
out would be good.  I could use a distraction right now.  But I do have one
condition.”

“Anything,”
he agreed with a smile. 

“No more talking about Cole, or our
relationship, or anything along those lines.”

“You got it.  There are about a
million other things I’d rather talk about anyway.”

“Good.”
 
She grinned mischievously at him.  “So,
let’s talk about you.  If those cheerleaders over there aren’t your type, then
what is?”

“Hey!”
Seb’s cheeks flushed.  “I thought we weren’t talking about relationships.”

“No, we’re not talking about
my
relationship.  Yours, on the other hand, are totally fair game.”

By the time Christmas arrived, Bri
was ready to scream.  She was about to lose her temper, her patience, and
possibly her mind.  Seb had spent all of Christmas Eve watching her, asking if
she was okay, never leaving her alone for a second.  It was like he thought she
was going to shatter into a million pieces if he wasn’t there to stop her.  She
knew he meant well, but Seb’s constant hovering was driving her crazy, and she
was about ready to hit him. 

She awoke on Christmas morning to
the excited shouts of Liam and Logan.  She had just enough time to rub the
sleep out of her eyes before her brothers came barreling into the room she and
Claire were sharing and jumped on her bed.

“Bri, wake up!  It’s Christmas!”
 
The twins pulled
her out of bed, Claire following sleepily behind, and down to the large family
room downstairs.

The excitement and joy buzzing
through the house, and the room full of brightly wrapped presents, chased away
any lingering feelings of frustration.  Bri smiled genuinely as she sat down
and everyone tore into their presents.

After all the gifts were opened,
Sharon and Summer went to the kitchen to start the turkey for dinner, and
Connor, Scott, and Jimmy turned on a football game.  Liam and Logan wanted to
go swimming in the indoor pool, and Bri, Claire, and Seb went down to keep an
eye on them.

Later that evening, everyone
gathered for dinner.  Summer and Sharon had made enough food to feed a small
army, and everything was delicious. 

As they were finishing up dessert,
Jimmy’s phone rang.  Bri froze as he answered it, knowing only one person who
would be calling on Christmas.

“Cole!”
Jimmy smiled as he answered. 

Bri’s stomach dropped and her heart
started pounding.  Jimmy and Cole talked for a few minutes and she tried not to
look worried or nervous, but the concerned looks Seb kept throwing her told her
she wasn’t doing a great job.  She was anxious and terrified about what Cole
would say to her, and she honestly had no idea what to say to him.  

Finally Jimmy held up his phone and
asked, “Anyone want to talk to Cole?”

A whole chorus of voices rose up,
but overriding all the others were Liam’s and Logan’s excited shouts.  Jimmy
handed them the phone, and Bri’s dad helped the boys talk to Cole for a
minute.  After they had told Cole about each and every one of their presents,
and then started a rundown of everything they’d been doing all week, Connor intervened. 
The boys said goodbye, telling Cole he’d better come visit them soon, and gave
the phone to Connor.  Connor talked to Cole briefly, with Summer piping in to
wish him a merry Christmas, and then he passed the phone to Claire.

Bri sat restlessly while Scott and
Sharon talked to Cole next, finally passing the phone to Seb.  She couldn’t
take the tension anymore, and slipped out of the dining room when nobody was
looking.  She hid around the corner, trying to pull herself together and calm
her racing heart.  Even though she had no idea what she’d say to Cole, she knew
she wouldn’t be able to form a coherent sentence in her current state.  Taking
a few deep breaths, she tried to calm down.

A moment later she heard Seb’s voice
getting closer as he talked.

“Alright man, let me get Bri for
you.”
 

Ready to face whatever was coming,
Bri stepped out of her hiding place to meet Seb.  He stepped out of the dining
room, and stopped.

“What?”
he asked, as if he hadn’t heard Cole
right.  “You can’t be serious.”
 
Seb’s eyes snapped up to hers.  He continued to watch her as he spoke
to Cole.  “You have to talk to her, it’s Christmas.  Come on, she’s right here…”
he trailed off. 
Bri watched Seb’s face transform from confusion to anger and incredulity.  “That
is bullshit,”
he
growled at Cole, moving further into the hall and away from the happy
conversations coming from the dining room.  “You can’t just ignore her.  She
doesn’t deserve to be brushed aside like this just because you’re…”
 
Seb sighed.  “Yeah. 
Yeah, whatever.  Bye.”
 

He hung up, and the full force of
what just happened hit Bri. 

Cole didn’t want to talk to her.  He
had fought with Seb
not
to talk to her.  He didn’t want anything to do
with her. 

Seb was still standing there, the
phone hanging limply at his side.  “Bri,”
he looked at her sadly, “I’m so sorry.”

She felt tears threatening, but
pushed them back.

“Um, no, it’s okay,”
she swallowed back
the lump in her throat.  “
I just
…
I’m going to…
I’ve got to go.”
 
She turned and ran
out the front door before Seb could say anything else.

She made her way around the side of
the house to the backyard.  The outdoor pool was lit up like a blue jewel, the
soft light pushing back the darkness.  But it was darkness and obscurity that
she craved.  At the edge of the patio, Bri found a chair in a dark corner where
no one from inside the house would be able to see her.  She sat down, and all
of the emotions she’d been holding back came flooding out.  She felt a hollow,
aching grief swell up and drown her.

She had been hurt when Cole hadn’t
called for her birthday, but watching as he talked to everyone he cared about
except
her…
 
It was
devastating.  She’d never felt so unloved and unwanted in her life.  Heaving
great ugly sobs, she felt her heart split in half.  The pain was so intense,
she worried it would it would tear her apart.  

Sometime later, Bri heard the back
door close, and someone walked towards her.  She knew who it was, even before
he draped a blanket around her shoulders.  She tried to brush away some of her
tears before she glanced up at him.

“Thanks,”
she hiccupped.

“It looked a little chilly out here.”
 
Seb sat down next
to her.  “Are you okay?”

She glared up at him.  “Do I look
okay?”

“Fair point,”
he conceded with a sheepish grin.  “Why
don’t you come inside?  You’ve been out here for a while, and you have to be
freezing.”

She shook her head.  “I’m not
capable of putting on a happy face right now, and I don’t want anyone to know
what’s going on.  I’m better off out here.”

“You’re better off outside,
freezing?  I don’t think so.  Look at you, you’re shivering.”
 
He pulled her
against his side and tried to rub some warmth back into her arm.  “What if I
told you that everyone was gone, would you come inside then?”

“Gone?  Where did they go?”

“I sent everyone out to a movie,”
he grinned down at
her.

“But, didn’t they notice that we
weren’t with them?”
Bri
sniffed.

“Well, I told them that you were
feeling a little sad, and needed some space.  Don’t worry,”
he reassured her
when she gave him a horrified look.  “They think you’re missing Cole, that’s
all.  I didn’t tell them anything.”

“Good, thank you,”
she smiled,
relieved.  “But how come you’re here?”

“It’s like I told them, you shouldn’t
be left alone in your distressed state.  So I’m here to keep an eye on you, to
make sure you don’t have an emotional breakdown or something,”
he winked.

“And you were the one they picked
for this job?”
she
asked, skeptically.

“Oh, I had to fight Claire for it,
and that girl fights dirty.  But in the end, I’m older, and stronger, so I got
to stay.”

“Oh, well, thanks, I guess.  But I’m
really okay on my own. You don’t have to babysit me.”

“It’s not babysitting,”
he replied with
sincerity.  “I want to be here.  You deserve to be upset and angry, but you don’t
deserve to have to go through this alone.”

“Really?”
she asked doubtfully.  “You want to
stay with me?  I’m a total mess.  I’m sure there are more enjoyable things you
could be doing.”

“There isn’t anything more important
than this.  Now, can we please go inside?  It’s freaking freezing out here.”

“Okay,”
she smiled, touched that he cared so
much about her, and let him pull her out of the chair and into the house.  She
followed him upstairs, but gave him a confused look when he led her to his
bedroom.

“This is the only place I can think
of where no one will bother you.  You can hide out here tonight if you want.”

“Oh.”
 
She considered that a moment.  “But, don’t you want your room to
yourself?”
 
She
noticed that there was only one queen sized bed.  If she stayed, one of them
would be sleeping on the floor.

“I don’t mind, really.”
 
Seb smiled
genuinely, and Bri found she couldn’t refuse.

“Okay, then.”
 
She stepped in, and Seb closed the
door behind her.  As she sat down on the bed, she realized that her tears had
stopped.  Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all.  Seb had proven to be a
very effective distraction.

“And, the best part…”
 
He opened the
front of the nightstand to reveal a mini fridge.  “My room comes fully
stocked.  We can hole up here for as long as you need.”
 
He pulled out a can of Coke and
handed it to her.

“Wow, and to think that Claire and I
have been practically roughing it in our room.”
 
She gave a small laugh.

“Hey, you’re laughing.  That is
definitely better than crying.”
 
He sat down next to her gingerly.  “How are you feeling, really?  And
don’t give me any of this “I’m fine”
crap.  I want the truth.”

“I’m…”
 
Bri trailed off as she tried to figure out what she was feeling.  She
was definitely hurt, and devastated, and her heart felt like it had just been
put through a blender, but on top of all that, there was another emotion
building.  “I’m angry,”
she said, as she realized what it was she was feeling.  “On top of
everything else, I’m really pissed off.”

“Good, you have every right to be angry. 
Do you want to talk about it?”

Did she?  After her emotional
evening, she hadn’t thought she wanted to talk.  But her anger provided a
barrier between her heart and the pain, and she wanted to build that barrier as
thick and strong as she could.  So, grasping on to her anger like a lifeline,
she let it build within her.

“How dare he.”
she began, adding
fuel to her fire.  “How dare he just brush me off like that.  How dare he hide
like a coward, and not even have the decency to talk to me.  Why does he get to
dictate what happens between us?  Why does he get to make all the decisions,
without even asking for my opinion?  Who the
hell
does he think he is?”
she practically
shouted.  “I have been nothing but supportive and understanding, even when I
was hurt and disappointed.  I practically put all of his needs before mine, and
this is how he repays me?  By acting like what I want and how I feel doesn’t
even matter?  By deciding that I’m too much of a burden to be around anymore? 
Well, if that’s what he wants, fine.  Screw him!”
 
She took a couple deep breaths and tried to calm down.  She was shocked
how easy these things just flowed out of her.  She must’ve had these latent
feelings for a while now, without even realizing it. 

Seb gave her a smug grin.  “There
she is.  There’s the Bri I know and love.  I was worried I’d lost you for a
minute there.”
 
He
reached up and ran his fingers lightly down the side of her face.

All her anger whooshed out of her in
an instant, and she froze.  Seb had never looked at her like that before, like
she was the most precious thing in the world.  Looking back into his eyes, she
felt her heart clench in fear as she recognized the emotion in them.

“Wait, what?”
she asked apprehensively, desperately
hoping she was wrong.  “What did you just say?”

Seb’s smile dropped and his face
paled.  “What?  I didn’t say anything.”

“Yes, you did,”
she pushed, seeing
the fear in his eyes.  “You said…
 
Do you…
love
me?”
 
She
looked at him disbelievingly. 

Seb stood and began pacing,
obviously upset.  He ran his hands through his hair before turning to her.

“Look Bri, I…”
 
He looked like he
was going to deny it, but then his shoulders slumped and he let out a weary
sigh.  “Yes, I love you.  This can’t come as a big surprise to you.”

She gasped, completely shocked.  Seb
loved
her?  She’d always known he cared for her, just as she cared for
him, but
love
?  Her mind raced back through every moment they’d spent
together, every conversation they’d had.  Had the signs been there, and she’d missed
them?  Was this a big surprise?  Or deep down, had she always known he’d felt
something more for her? 

“But, you’ve had girlfriends.  How
could you have girlfriends if you…”
she gulped, unable to finish her sentence.

“I’ve dated, there’s a big difference. 
And even then, I haven’t dated a lot.  No one quite measures up to you.”
 
He gave her a
small smile.  “But, what else can I do?  The girl I love is in love with my
best friend; and I’m not dumb enough to think that I can compete with him.  So,
I’ve tried my best to move on.  Only, it hasn’t worked out so well for me.”
 
He hung his head
sadly.

“Seb.”
 
The dejection on his face had Bri up and over to him before she realized
she’d moved.  “I’m so sorry, I never even realized.  I didn’t mean for this to
happen.”
 
She
hated that she’d hurt Seb like this, and for how long?  Had she been hurting
him for years now?  What kind of person was she, that she didn’t realize one of
her best friends was suffering, and she was the cause of it?  She felt her eyes
tear up as she realized just what kind of awful person she was.  “Please don
’
t hate me.
”
 
She choked back a sob.