Authors: Josephine Cox
He added, ‘Don’t even think about telling anybody about me being here, or what’s been said, because if you do, I might just go ahead and do the deed anyway. In fact, you can be sure of it.’
He smiled into Joe’s tragic eyes. ‘
You, more than anybody should know I mean exactly what I say.
’
He knew by the look on Joe’s face, that he was reminded of when they were boys. The animals that had suffered at Frank’s hands, and the children who had been sent home in terror. Joe had told, but nobody listened, and the children were too afraid to speak out.
‘And another thing, Joe,’ he purred. ‘When I finish Alice off, I’ll be sure to enjoy taking my time about it. I mean it, Joe! If I have to do it, then it’s your fault and not mine. So remember, if I find out you’ve been encouraging her, I’ll make her suffer like you would never believe.’
He saw the tears of rage fill Joe’s eyes but he cared nothing for his brother’s pain. ‘I’ve got to go now, Joe. But I’ll be watching. I have my spies. I’ll know if you go against what I’ve
said. Make no mistake, I
will
carry out my threat, Joe. You know I will!’
His last words to his brother were delivered in a matter-offact way. ‘I’m so glad I found you, Joe. You can’t know how much of a pleasure it’s been.’
His voice dropped to a whisper. ‘With just a flick of the wrist, I could kill you here and now. But it would be far more satisfying to keep you alive. Like the living dead, eh, Joe?’
He chuckled. ‘That’s what you are, Joe…the living dead!’
Before removing his hand from Joe’s mouth, he issued a final reminder. ‘Think on what I said, Joe. If you so much as smile at her, Alice is gone…forever!’
‘You cowardly bastard!’ Joe had never wanted to hurt anyone so badly as he did now.
‘Tut, tut, Joe…such language!’
Then, as quickly as he had arrived, he left.
Behind him, Joe was left thinking of Alice. So, she was out of hospital. Thank God for that.
But why hadn’t his father told him?
Why did he have to hear it from that no good brother of his.
He focused on Frank’s threats.
There was no doubt in Joe’s mind that if he dared to make plans with Alice, Frank would do what he promised. After all, he had already tried to kill her once.
The worst thing of all was that he felt so helpless and trapped.
Maybe Frank was right. Maybe he would be better off dead than to be left alive like this.
More than once since being struck down, he himself had entertained that very same idea.
Yet, with the doctor’s encouragement, he had never lost hope.
If it took years, and all his strength and courage, he had to walk again, to work, and live, and be with Alice.
But what of Alice? What would he do if and when she came to see him?
How could he turn her away, when all this time he had yearned for her, longed to see her face; to know she still loved him.
Every minute of every day he had kept alive the hope that Alice would come to him, and everything would be all right. It was the only thing that kept him going.
Every so often they took him out of the contraption, subjecting him to agonising exercises that seemed to tear his limbs apart. So many times he came close to giving up, but he didn’t.
He endured the excruciating agony because of Alice, and his dream that they had a future together.
Alice was his hope, his reason to go on fighting.
What must he do now, in the face of Frank’s warning? Rather than see Alice hurt in any way, he would cut off his own arm.
There must be a way to keep her safe.
In his mind he went through the options.
He could somehow involve the police…tell them that Frank had been right here, making threats to kill Alice.
Another option would be to tell his father, and let him do what was necessary.
Or maybe he could ignore Frank’s threat, and welcome Alice with open arms. And to hell with it!
He then went through the reasons why none of the options were suitable.
Even if the police caught Frank and threw him in jail, he would still find a way to get to Alice. Using any means at his disposal; enticement, bullying, or dirty dealing, he would use someone else to do the deed…an ex-prisoner maybe.
Frank was dangerous and unstable, enough to make things happen. He might even extend the threat to the entire family; after all, he had shown no compassion when his own father
tried to reason with him. Instead he turned on him, leaving both him and Joe for dead.
A man like that would not even flinch at taking Alice’s life.
Joe realised that if he passed the burden on to his father, that would be a cowardly and wicked thing to do, and it would paint him with the same brush as Frank. More than that, the end result might well be catastrophic, and Joe could not risk it.
Lastly, if he was to ignore Frank’s threat, Alice would pay the ultimate price.
Joe knew his brother better than most, and he knew the true depth to his wickedness. He was convinced that come what may, Frank would find a way to carry out his threat.
Once outside the hospital, Frank slunk away, careful not to be seen or heard as he made his getaway.
‘One down, one more to go.’ He was satisfied that he had Joe on two counts. Firstly he was not about to inform on him, and secondly, he was so besotted with Alice, he would die rather than put her life in jeopardy.
Heading for the canal, he dodged the main walkway.
Keeping close to the towpath, his mind darkening with revenge every step he took.
After what seemed an age, he neared the barge, where he glanced up and down to make sure he was not seen, then staying low, he ran forward and silently climbed aboard.
‘Who’s that?’ From the galley, Jack saw the shadow as it flitted in the twilight. ‘Fred? Is that you?’
‘Yes!’ Frank made his way down. ‘I’ve come to collect my stuff.’
‘Well, I’m about to move on, so you’d best get what it is you came for, and be on your way.’
Having sensed trouble, Jack was hoping to be rid of him. He told Frank, ‘If you’d have been another few minutes later, I’d have been well away.’
‘Really?’ Frank smiled. ‘Where you off to then?’
‘Oh, just meeting up with some old friends of mine. I haven’t seen them in a while. The word came through the grapevine that they’ll be at a certain place at a certain time, and that they’d be pleased to see me.’
‘What place would that be then?’ Frank suspected he was lying.
‘It don’t matter what place, does it, Fred eh?’ Jack snapped. ‘Like I say, if you hadn’t turned up just now, I’d have been long gone.’
‘Well, I’d best be quick then, hadn’t I?’
‘That’s right, son. Be quick and out of it, then I can get on my way.’
The quicker the better, Jack thought, because there was something about this fella that put a deep-down fear into him.
Frank made his way through to the cabin at the front. ‘I’ll be gone before you know it!’ he called back. ‘I’ll be sorry to leave you though. I’ve enjoyed my time here.’
‘Yes! So ‘ave I!’ Turning the fried egg in the pan, Jack rolled his eyes. ‘It’ll suit me if yer bugger orf and never come back,’ he muttered. ‘Bloody weirdo!’
‘Sorry, Jack, what did you say?’ As he made his way into the galley, Frank heard his every word.
Startled by his sudden nearness, Jack swung round, but he was too late as Frank grabbed him by the neck. ‘So I’m a weirdo, am I?’ He stared down into Jack’s terrified eyes. ‘Tut, tut, and I thought we were friends.’
‘We are!’ Gurgling and choking, Jack pleaded, ‘Stay if yer like. I won’t…mind.’
‘Bye, Jack. Oh, and don’t you worry. I’ll say hello to your friends for you.’
Reaching out, he snatched the heavy cast-iron saucepan from the stove and brought it down with an almighty thump against Jack’s skull.
Swearing and cursing, he threw Jack’s lifeless body aside, and cleaned up the blood.
Splattered from floor to ceiling and running down Frank’s jacket, it had a certain smell about it; dry and musky, and to Frank’s warped mind, the colours were amazing. Where it had spattered over the stove, it was bright pink, yet on his clothing and across the floor it was all shades of red. ‘Pretty!’ When he smiled, Frank had the look of a devil on him.
Quickly now, he plucked Jack from the floor and took him outside. After making sure there was no one watching, he propped him up on the wooden bench and carefully arranged him so that he looked much like a man at leisure. He found Jack’s fishing rod, and fixed it under his armpit. The line dangled into the water.
Returning to the galley, he located a big hessian bag, into which he placed the heavy saucepan, together with numerous other heavy objects. That done, he collected the length of rope from underneath the cabin steps.
He tightly closed the neck of the bag and tied one end of the rope around it.
He now carried the bundle outside, where he proceeded to tie the other end of the rope around Jack’s lifeless body making sure the rope was of the right length to secure Jack to the bottom of the murky canal.
That done, he sat Jack upright on the wooden bench. ‘You like the water, don’t you, Jack?’ He stared into the other man’s lifeless eyes, which were open wide with shock. ‘We had a good time though, didn’t we, eh? You and me…a pint or two and a laugh. It’s such a shame you have to leave so soon.’
Placing the flat of his hand on Jack’s narrow back, he gently
patted him, as though in comradeship. ‘You mustn’t worry. I’ll look after the boat for you.’
With a hard thrust of his hand he simply pushed him over, afterwards looking excited and mesmerised as Jack’s body broke the surface of the water.
Almost as though in slow motion before disappearing from sight, the murky waters opened up and swallowed him; then he was gone. ‘Sorry, Jack.’ In his madness, Frank sounded truly repentant. ‘But you did bring it on yourself!’
A few minutes later the engine was started and the barge moved out, leaving behind the familiar sound of disturbed water slapping against the sides of the canal walls.
Frank’s voice uplifted in song, which echoed through the air.
Behind him, a lone bird called his mate.
He had seen.
But he could never tell.
T
HE FOLLOWING DAY
Alice and Mandy arrived at Luton and Dunstable hospital. ‘You go in,’ Mandy was nervous. ‘I’ll hang about here.’ She sat herself in the area where Frank had sat the day before. ‘It’s okay. I can read while I wait.’
She promptly picked up a newspaper from the table, ‘Go on then!’ She gave Alice a gentle push. ‘You’ve been going crazy to see him, and now’s your chance. Go on Alice. You can tell me all about it afterwards!’
Alice was a bag of nerves. Torn two ways, she wasn’t sure whether she had done the right thing in finding Joe.
She didn’t know how he might feel when he saw her, and she whispered all that to Mandy now. ‘There must be a reason why Tom didn’t want me to find out where he was,’ she said. ‘Suppose Joe told him not to tell me.’
‘Just go in there and witness the smile on his face when he sees you walk through that door,’ Mandy said confidently.
Alice wasn’t convinced. ‘How do I know he still feels anything for me,’ she asked. ‘To tell you the truth, I wouldn’t blame him if he never wanted to see me again. I was weak. It was me who went to Joe that night, and now it’s Joe who’s come off worse.’ She was fast losing confidence. ‘Oh, Mandy, I’m so…’
‘Hey!’ Mandy sat Alice down. ‘Look! I’ve heard nothing from you these past weeks, except Joe this and Joe that. You’ve been a pain in the backside, and now that we’re here, you’re looking for any excuse not to go and see him.’
Suddenly rising out of her seat, she yanked Alice up. ‘Right then! So you’re not going in. You’ve changed your mind and now you don’t want to see him. Fair enough!’
Linking her arm with Alice’s, she smartly strode towards the door, taking a surprised Alice with her. ‘Fine by me!’ she declared. ‘We’ll go home then, if that’s what you want!’
Alice was horrified. ‘No!’ She looked about, anxious that people should not think they were arguing.
When Mandy smiled, Alice knew she had deliberately pretended to be angry. ‘Oh, Mandy, I desperately want to see him, but I’m worried. I don’t know how he’ll react. I don’t even know if he wants me here.’
‘Rubbish! Why would he not?’
‘Because if it wasn’t for me, he wouldn’t be here. He’d be out in the field, working…it’s where he belongs. Not shut up inside like this.’ She knew how much Joe loved the outdoors. He was a part of nature; only truly alive when he could feel the soft earth beneath his feet.
‘I know him,’ she told Mandy now. ‘And I’m sure that to be shut away in here must be like torture to him.’
Sensing Alice’s predicament, Mandy was gentle with her. ‘Go to him, Alice. Joe will be so pleased you’re here. You see if he’s not.’ And as extra encouragement, she gave her another, gentler little push.
She watched while Alice explained to the chubby nurse at the desk. And when the nurse accompanied her along the corridor, Mandy smiled. ‘Go to it, girl,’ she murmured. ‘Go see your precious Joe!’
Alice was surprised to find that Joe was under police protection; it only served to remind her that Frank was still out there.
For the police to keep a guard outside his ward, they must believe that Frank had every intention of coming after his brother.
The idea made her shiver inside.
Alice was now put through the security procedure, and when Bob was satisfied she was allowed through. Tom was not happy with her being near Joe, but Joe had asked for her, time and again.
Softly opening the door to the ward, the nurse told Alice in a whisper, ‘Don’t be too alarmed by all the strapping, and if you need me, just call out. Oh, and try not to expect too much of him, will you?’
She then left her there, and returned to the desk.
Alice was shocked and upset to see all the strapping and mechanics that were holding Joe’s damaged body together. He was very still. There was no sign of movement and his head was turned away. It seemed unreal.
This was Joe, she reminded herself. This was the man who had held her on that unforgettable night; the night when she came alive. The night when she knew what real love was. This was her lover. This was her soulmate.
Every sense in her body cried out for the injustice of it all.
Taking a step forward, she wiped away a tear. She was unable to forgive herself for the weakness that drove her into his arms. When the temptation came over her, she could have walked away, but she didn’t. Even when she gave herself to him, there was still time to back off and run away. But she lacked the strength and the moment was too precious.
Because of her weakness that night, she had done this to Joe. She had brought him to this.
It was her fault, and no one would ever convince her otherwise.
Joe appeared not to have heard her enter.
For most of the night he had lain awake, tormented; he was filled with such a rage he could hardly bear it.
After hours of wrestling for a solution, he had not found the answer. And he was desolate.
‘Joe?’ Quickly wiping the tears from her face, Alice took a step forward. ‘Joe, it’s me…Alice.’
Thinking he must be dreaming, Joe slowly turned to look at her, and the joy he felt was alive in his face. ‘Alice!’ He took a deep, long breath, and let it out with her name, as though he had been holding it forever, ‘Oh…my Alice…’
When she came forward, he longed to reach out and hold her, but his arms were restrained by his sides. All he could do was to watch as she came near, to see her face, so sad and lonely; such a friendly, pretty little face that took his heart and turned it inside out.
Now she was holding him delicately, and it was like his world had been dark and now it was bathed in sunshine. ‘Alice,’ he kept saying her name, ‘Alice…’
Suddenly her face was Frank’s face and he could hear the warning in his head.
‘I’ll have to kill her…you know I will!’
And he knew what he must do. However painful it might be, he had to protect Alice.
Now, as she reached over to kiss him, he hardened his heart, and before his courage was altogether gone, he turned away from her, his voice low and hard, ‘No, Alice! Leave me!’
‘Joe! What’s wrong?’ Alice was taken by surprise at his sudden change of manner. ‘Did I hurt you?’
Joe could not bring himself to look at her. ‘You have to go,’ he told her gruffly, ‘You can’t be here.’
‘Why not?’ Alice had seen the look of love in his face when she came through the door, and suddenly he was almost hostile. ‘Why can’t I be here, Joe…tell me?’
Joe gave no answer.
‘Look at me, Joe…please. Do you really want me to leave?’
‘Yes.’
‘You blame me, don’t you, Joe?’ Her heart was dead inside her. ‘You blame me, and you’re right. I ruined your life. I’m so sorry, Joe. Please, Joe…can’t you forgive me?’
For a while she pleaded with him, then realising she could be aggravating his recovery, she told him softly, ‘I’m truly sorry, Joe. I hoped it would be different, but you’ve asked me to leave and I will.’
She paused on her way out.
She did not look back. Instead she told him, ‘Before I go, I need you to know that I would give anything for this not to have happened to you. I love you so much, Joe. I always will.’
When he remained silent, she walked to the door, where she looked back just once, hoping he would call her to him.
When he kept his face turned from her, she knew it was over. ‘Goodbye Joe,’ she whispered. ‘I’ll pray for you to be well soon. Try to get well. For your parents’ sake, and your own…please try, Joe.’
With her heart in pieces she said, ‘Somewhere out there you have a life waiting. It might not be with me, but you
will
enjoy life again, I know you will. You must.’
A moment later, she was running headlong down the corridor, the tears flowing down her face. ‘I’m sorry, Joe…I’m so sorry…’
Listening to her running footseps as she fled down the corridor, Joe lay there, numb of heart, dead in his soul. When he realised the enormity of what he had done, he called her name, ‘Alice…Alice!’ He wanted her back. He wanted Frank dead. He wanted to get up from this bed and run after her, to explain why he had to send her away.
He needed her to know that Frank would not hurt her as long as the two of them were apart. And if that’s what it took to keep her safe, then so be it, because the alternative would be even more catastrophic.
Joe consoled himself with that awful knowledge, but after seeing Alice and aching to hold her, it was a small consolation.
The unbearable thing was, he could not do anything to stop Frank from hurting her. There was no way he could help her, because he wasn’t a man anymore. He was a mouse! A frightened, useless little nothing; unable to protect the one person he had ever loved. Frank had wanted to punish them both, and he had done it in the most evil way of all.
Because of Frank, Joe was dying inside.
Alice was devastated, and that was the price they had paid.
But his darling Alice was safe, and that was what mattered.
Waiting to greet her with a ready smile, Mandy was amazed when Alice fell into her arms. ‘He sent me away,’ she sobbed. ‘Joe sent me away.’
For a tense moment, Mandy just held her, then easing her away, she urged, ‘Come on, Alice…let’s take you home.’
She had half expected something like this to happen. Yet to see Alice so broken like that was hurtful.
In a small way, Mandy did not blame Joe. Nor did she blame Alice. It was one of those cruel tricks that Fate often plays on you. ‘Maybe he’ll come round,’ she said as they walked away. ‘Give Joe a day or two, and he’ll realise how much he needs you.’
Alice shook her head. ‘No, Mandy. He never wants to see me again.’ She clung to her friend. ‘And who could ever blame him? Oh but, Mandy, you should see what it’s like. His body is strapped down, and he can’t move his limbs. I’ll never forgive myself for what I’ve done. And now he hates me, and I love him so much.’
Looking up at Mandy through red-raw eyes, Alice quietly vowed, ‘I owe it to him to do as he says. I have to stay away…give him the time and space he needs to recover but I really don’t know if I can be here and not want to see him. I have to leave, Mandy, I have to get far away from these parts.’
‘But why would you do that?’ Mandy could not imagine a life without Alice in it. ‘This is where you live. It’s where you grew up. This area is all you know.’
‘I have to leave.’ After her unhappy encounter with Joe, Alice was determined. ‘If Joe recovers from his terrible injuries, and I pray he does, just think how he would feel if he should see me on the street, or walking across the fields? Don’t you see, Mandy…I’ll always be there to remind him of what happened to him, and to his parents.’
She walked along for a moment in complete silence, then in the softest murmur, she voiced an idea that was playing over in her mind.
‘I can’t help Joe directly, but I think there is at least one thing I can do to help make amends. Even if I have to go cap in hand, on my knees!’
Other than that, she would say no more.
While Alice and Mandy walked away, deep in conversation, Tom Arnold walked up from the car park, his step slow and ungainly as he negotiated the gravel walkway.
His head was down, as though in deep thought, and the smile that used to live on his kindly old face was gone.
Instead, the lines of his face were etched with worry and pain, and as he approached the hospital doors, he seemed to have aged, even beyond his mature years.
The nurse recognised him straight off. ‘Hello, Mr Arnold,’
she greeted him with a cheery smile, ‘My! My! Your son’s a popular young man today, isn’t he?’
Tom was immediately alert. ‘Sorry? What did you say?’
‘Well, only that you’re the second visitor for Joe in less than an hour.’
‘You’re saying our Joe had a visitor?’
‘That’s right. A young woman, very proper and polite she was, and pretty. Not striking or handsome, but…just kind of pretty.’
She was still chatting as he hurried away.
‘Alice Jacobs!’ He was fired with anger. ‘It couldn’t have been anybody else! That bloody woman, how did she find him? Why can’t she stay well away from where she’s not wanted!’
‘Back again, eh?’ Policeman Bob had taken a liking to Tom. He thanked his lucky stars that his own boy was not in such a bad way as this old fella’s son. ‘You’re the second visitor today.’
He was surprised when Tom gave no acknowledgement, but merely nodded, as he hurried away. Usually he paused a minute to pass the time of day.
On hearing the footsteps, Joe had his eyes trained on the door, hoping that Alice had come back; then praying she had not.
‘Dad!’ Exhausted by the simple task of turning his head, he leaned back into the pillow. After the painful confrontation with Alice, he had neither the strength nor the heart for anything.
Tom came straight to the bed, his frown unfurling into a warm smile as he reached out to take hold of Joe’s hand. ‘How are you, son?’
Every time he came into this room, he felt the urge to lift Joe out of that bed and take him home. It took all of his control not to show his deep frustration.
‘I’m the same as ever,’ Joe smiled. ‘Don’t worry about me, Dad. I’ll beat this, you wait and see. I’ll be up and about in no time, then you and Mum will be wishing I was out from under your feet.’
Tom took hold of his hand and squeezed it. ‘Never!’ He tried to swallow the lump that filled his throat. ‘The day you come home will be the best day of our lives,’ he promised fervently.
After the landlord’s visit, his promise was all the more poignant because at this moment in time, he didn’t even know where home might be.
Seeing how tired his father was, Joe’s heart went out to him. He knew how hard it must be for him, coming here, seeing him like this, and knowing that Frank was responsible. It was a dilemma no man should ever have to deal with.
‘They got me upright today,’ he revealed with a disarming grin. ‘They swung the whole contraption on its head and it was almost as though I could just get out and walk away; only I couldn’t, and my head felt like a ton weight on my shoulders. Mind you, it was good just to be upright, instead of lying flat on my back, staring at the ceiling.’