Authors: Josephine Cox
‘There’s nothing to be done!’ Tom flopped into the chair. ‘We’ve lost everything, Nancy, and that’s the awful truth of it. A month from now we’ll be out on the street, and at our age that’s not a pleasant prospect. What in God’s name are we going to do, eh? Where do we go from here?’
Disturbed by everything she had learned, Alice began her journey home.
She felt overwhelmingly heavy of heart and her entire body was suddenly too much of a weight to carry her.
Deeply disturbed by what Tom had told her, she also felt a feeling of exhilaration wash over her.
‘Luton and Dunstable hospital…that’s what Nancy said.’
She quickened her step, and now she started running, as though desperate to find Joe, and explain. She needed to tell him how much she loved him, and that she would look after him…she would find a way to help Tom and Nancy…
Suddenly a sharp pain in her side caught her unawares with such a force that she was made to sit down and rest.
When a moment later the pain grew worse, she began to suspect there might be something wrong. ‘Please…oh, please! Don’t hurt my babies,’ she whispered. ‘Not now…please, not now!’
Scrambling up, she tried to go forward, but the pains were crippling; and when the cramp buckled her insides, she could hardly breathe.
Anxious, she took another short rest before setting off again. The pains had eased, but she now felt herself falling, until almost without realising, Alice felt her senses slip away.
When the blessed darkness came over her, it was like a quietness of soul. There was no trauma, no anxiety.
Crumpling to the ground, Alice lay there, and all around her, the silence thickened.
T
IRED AND HUNGRY
after the long drive back from London, Joshua was glad to be home.
The business meeting had dragged on, and he was now kicking himself that he could have done a better deal.
I could have squeezed a higher figure out of him, he thought as he drove into the lane. Damned broker! I was not ready to sell that land until I’d acquired planning on it.
Easing his car along the side of the house, he smiled. Mind you, he thought, I did make a handsome profit without even lifting a finger. I suppose when it comes right down to it, I actually made a killing.
Though he loved to grumble, Joshua was quietly satisfied with the result of his hard bargaining.
Switching off the engine, he noticed the unfamiliar car parked outside the front door.
‘Joshua!’ When Tricia came hurrying out of the house, he threw open the door and ran to meet her.
‘Tricia! What’s wrong? Whose car is that?’
‘It’s the doctor,’ she told him as they hurried along. ‘Alice had a fall, but don’t worry, she seems to be all right, thank God! Oh, but I’ve been so worried, I rang the office and they said you’d already left. There was no way of contacting you.’
‘Had a fall you say?’
‘That’s right. It seems she went to see Tom and Nancy. According to Nancy, Tom was really upset and asked her to leave. Nancy was concerned, what with Alice being pregnant, so she went after her, and found her slumped in the field. The doctor said she was lucky not to have lost the babies.’
‘Dear God! And you’re sure she’s all right now?’
As he opened the door to let her through, Tricia explained, ‘At first the doctor considered sending her to hospital, but he was satisfied that the babies were safe, and Alice was only slightly bruised.’
As he ran up the stairs, Joshua voiced his concern. ‘Maybe he should send her to hospital for a proper check-up anyway. Just to be on the safe side?’
‘Are you saying I haven’t given her a proper check up?’ The doctor, a small-framed, squat figure was on the landing, preparing to leave.
‘I didn’t mean any such thing.’ Smiling, Joshua shook him by the hand. ‘I merely want the best for my granddaughter.’
‘Very commendable, but I can promise you Alice has been thoroughly checked, and if I had the slightest doubt that she or the twins were in any danger, I would have despatched her to the hospital in double quick time.
‘Mind you! She’s very lucky that she didn’t come to any real harm when she blacked out. We must be thankful for Nancy Arnold and her caring nature; if she had not gone out looking for Alice, who knows how long she might have lain there?’
Tricia and Joshua were thinking the very same. ‘From now on, I will want to know where Alice is at any given moment!’ Tricia declared. ‘I blame myself. I should have been watching her more closely.’
The doctor smiled at that. ‘Why is it, when any accident happens to those we love, we always blame ourselves? The truth is, we can’t wrap them in cotton wool. We all need the freedom
to make our own mistakes. That’s how we learn, and that’s how it should be.’
On that prophetic note, he excused himself and departed. ‘I’ve left a prescription beside the bed,’ he informed them. ‘Just a little something to help her sleep…make sure she gets the rest she needs.’
‘If we’re worried, we’ll call you!’ Joshua declared.
‘Yes, you do that,’ the doctor answered. ‘Though Alice will be fine I’m sure. I’ll pop back day after tomorrow. Meantime, you need to make certain she doesn’t overdo it.’
Alice was sitting in bed, able to hear their conversation. She felt incredibly tired; every bone in her body hurt, but her mind was clearer now that it had been for a long time, ‘Thank you, Nancy,’ she whispered. ‘The doctor’s right. If it hadn’t been for you, I might have lost my babies…
Joe’s
babies.’
Somewhere in her deepest heart she believed that Joe was the father, because it surely must be true that babies were conceived out of love, not out of fear and pain.
Placing the palm of her hand on her stomach, she could feel the warmth of those two innocents inside her. She even imagined that she could hear their little hearts beating.
Just then the tap on the door shattered her thoughts. ‘All right to come in, dear?’ Joshua poked his head round the door. ‘I’ve been hearing all about your escapades, and I need to make sure you’re all right.’
Alice smiled back at him. ‘Come on in, Grandfather,’ she said, opening her arms to greet him. ‘We’ve been waiting for you.’ She glanced at Tricia, who was right behind him. ‘Grandma’s been up and down the stairs, looking for you.’
Hugging them one after the other, Alice told them fondly, ‘I don’t deserve you two. You’ve always gone out of your way to help me, and here I am…causing you anxiety. It’s not fair.’
Joshua would have none of it. ‘You’re our granddaughter,
and we love you,’ he said firmly. ‘When you love someone you break all the rules to help them.’
That made Alice think. ‘I’ve got something to tell you,’ she confessed.
‘Oh, and what might that be?’
Joshua drew up a chair, while Tricia sat on the edge of the bed, their whole attention focused on Alice, who was nervously fidgeting with the corner of the sheet.
‘Don’t keep us on tenterhooks,’ Joshua groaned. ‘You’ve no need to be nervous with us, my dear. We’re old and ugly enough to cope with anything.’
‘You speak for yourself!’ Tricia winked at Alice in a bid to ease her nerves. ‘
You
might be ugly,’ she told him, ‘but I’ll thank you not to paint me with the same brush.’
Alice laughed out loud, relaxing a little. ‘Grandfather isn’t ugly either,’ she told them truthfully.
She had no way of knowing how they might react to her news.
Coaxing her, Joshua reached out and placed his hand over hers. ‘Whatever it is you need to tell us, you’d better spit it out,’ he urged her. He added with an encouraging smile, ‘Besides, there’s a brandy waiting for me downstairs.’
Alice took a moment to think about what she had to say. It would change her life as she knew it, and to all intents and purposes, it was bound to change theirs too.
In fact, because they were the only ones she could turn to at the moment, it could even possibly turn their lives upside down.
In the end she knew there was only one way to say it, and that was out loud, and quickly. She prayed they would not be too shocked. ‘I’ve decided to have the babies!’ There! It was said.
With wet eyes and the whisper of a smile on her kindly face, Tricia leaned forward, her two hands holding Alice’s. ‘Do you think I didn’t already know that?’ she said. ‘I knew it the minute the doctor said you were fortunate not to have lost the babies.
I saw your face, and I knew you would never be content until you held the little ones in your arms. Am I right?’
All this time, Alice had struggled making a decision. She had tortured herself with guilt and doubt, and now that it was truly settled in her mind, she was greatly relieved, so much so that she could not hold back the immense relief that soared through her, and brought forth tears of joy.
‘You’re right, Grandma,’ she whispered. ‘The doctor said they could have died, but I know now my babies wanted to live.
They
made the decision. Not me.’
Like his wife, Joshua was excited at the thought of newborn babies in the house…his great grandchildren; though he was not altogether convinced whether it was the right thing for Alice to be raising two children without a husband, and with all the stigma and future uncertainty a situation of that nature would inevitably create.
He prayed she had made the right decision. She was still very young, and so much had happened in these past weeks. But like Alice said, the decision was made and knowing her, he also knew that once her mind was made up, there would be no turning back. Alice had always known her own mind, and he was proud of her for that.
‘You can count on us, my dear,’ he promised sincerely. ‘We’ll be with you all the way.’ Crooking his fingers under her chin, he raised her tear-stained face to look at him. ‘You, me and your grandmother…we’ll get through this together. All three of us, yes?’
‘Yes, Grandfather.’ Alice flung her arms round him. ‘Oh, yes, please!’
And so, rightly or wrongly, they now had to see it through.
And the more he thought of it, the more Joshua let himself believe that the presence of these two little beings, in this house, alive and well, might just bring them a degree of hope and joy to help them forget the bad things.
With a clearer mind, Alice had one more thing to ask of her grandparents. ‘I will never be able to thank you for what you’ve done for me…taking me in, and caring about me the way you did. And even now, when I’ve decided to have the babies, you’re happy for me. I didn’t tell you this, but you need to know; Tom turned me away. He was angry and upset. He blames me for what happened to his sons. He threw me out…told me never to contact any of them again.’
Tricia was horrified. ‘I always believed Tom Arnold to be a real gentleman. How can he put all the blame on you, when there are others involved. He should remember the part his own sons played in all of this! Frank Arnold nearly killed you!’
Alice defended Tom and Nancy both. ‘I don’t blame him,’ she confessed. ‘Tom and Nancy are kind and lovely people. The thing is…’ Looking up to her grandfather, she hesitated before going on nervously, ‘Because of what happened, because of what I did…they’ve had so much heartache. And now they’ve lost everything.’
Joshua knew his granddaughter well, and he sensed her concern. ‘What are you trying to say, Alice? What exactly do you mean they’ve lost everything?’ He had heard rumours, but thought them to be just that. ‘Is there something you think I should know?’
Alice faltered. She knew it might even further alienate Tom and Nancy if she was to reveal their sorry situation. They would be ashamed.
‘Alice!’ Joshua persisted, ‘There’s something on your mind, isn’t there? If you don’t tell me, I can’t help.’
‘No! It’s nothing,’ Alice quickly backed off. ‘I’m just saying, they’ve been really worried, that’s all.’
Tricia could understand that, and said so. ‘We’ve
all
been worried, Alice. And we’re not through it yet…none of us.’
Because of her grandmother’s remark, Alice felt the need to clarify her own situation. ‘After I’ve had the babies, you do
know my mother won’t tolerate me going back home?’ she told them. ‘I know my father wants to do what’s best for me, but Mother made it clear that she didn’t want me there. So I’m thinking, she won’t want the babies either, will she?’
Tricia knew what she was getting at, and quickly put her mind at rest. ‘I should hope not!’
Joshua butted in, ‘Alice, listen to me, dear. If we thought you were contemplating taking the babies away from here once they were born, your grandmother and I would be most disappointed.’ He turned to his wife, ‘Isn’t that so, Tricia?’
Tricia smiled. ‘My sentiments exactly.’ She laughed. ‘I almost feel as if they’re my babies too,’ she teased.
Alice was amazed at the depth of their love. Overfilled with emotion she threw herself into their arms; more safe and content than she had felt in a very long time.
There were other issues though, which continued to play on her mind.
Her heart ached for Tom and Nancy, but it would be too selfish and cruel to burden her grandfather with the truth; particularly as her grandparents had done more than enough for her in her hour of need. Besides, Tom and Nancy were proud people and would not thank her for interfering.
She kept the matter of Tom and Nancy strong in her mind all the same. If there was any way in which she might possibly help them, she would be only too glad to do so.
But it was Joe that she could not stop thinking about, and now she knew where he was she had to see him, whatever it took.
The following Friday afternoon, Mandy went with Alice to the hospital for a check-up.
‘I never want babies!’ Mandy was adamant. ‘All that bawling
and sicky stuff, and dirty, stinky nappies. Ugh!’ She made a face that had Alice laughing.
‘I’m sure it’s not
all
like that,’ Alice protested. ‘They’re also all soft and pink, and when they smile it’s like a little ray of sunshine.’
‘Oh, yes? And you’re an expert now, are you?’
‘No, but I saw a woman in the corner shop the other day and she had this beautiful little baby girl…’ She had often day-dreamed about what sex her babies might be. ‘I would like a little girl,’ she confessed. ‘But if there’s a boy as well, I’ll love him just the same.’
‘What if it’s
two
boys?’ Mandy argued. ‘Think about that! Not only would they be a real handful but there’d be no long hair to plait and comb, no pink ribbons, and no pretty little dresses to wear. What’s more, they’d be hankering after football and boy-things and all that boring stuff!’
Alice laughed. ‘I could always pretend they were girls,’ she teased. ‘No one would ever know.’
‘Yes they would!’
‘How would they?’
Mandy gave her a curious glance. ‘Well, because they’re different, aren’t they?’
‘Are they?’ Adopting an air of innocence, Alice had to stop herself from laughing out loud.
‘Well, yes! ‘Course they’re different!’
‘In what way?’
‘Aw, come on, Alice! You know very well…they’ve got these
things
, haven’t they?’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ By now Alice was having great difficulty in keeping a straight face.
‘Well, their little, you know, dangly bits…’
When Alice burst out laughing, Mandy was embarrassed. ‘You little horror!’ Playfully slapping Alice across the shoulder, she revealed, ‘You knew perfectly well what I was getting at, and you just wanted to aggravate me. Some friend
you are!’ And just to prove her point, she gave her another slap.
She gave her yet another slap as they chased each other up the street, the sound of their laughter echoing from the rootftops as they fled into the hospital grounds.
Sobered by their surroundings and the reason for Alice being there, they approached the desk, where Alice duly gave her name to the receptionist.