Authors: Josephine Cox
The receptionist was a pleasant bony woman, with a peculiar, sing-song voice, ‘Take a seat in the waiting area,’ she sang. ‘The doctor will see you in a moment.’
In fact, it was fifteen minutes before the doctor arrived, after which he ushered Alice inside. ‘Wait here,’ he told Mandy.
Inside the examination room, Alice was already getting undressed. ‘Well, everything appears to be just fine,’ the doctor gestured for Alice to sit down and get dressed. ‘Your blood pressure is very slightly up. That’s to be expected, though we’ll keep an eye on it. Other than that, you’re carrying well, and hopefully you’ll go full term without any problems.’
Sitting on the edge of the desk, he asked her, ‘Are you absolutely certain you want to take the pregnancy to full term?’
‘If you mean do I want to keep my babies, the answer is yes. Like I said, I’ve thought about it long and hard, and after I collapsed in the field, I got to thinking, what if the babies had died? What if I never had a chance to get to know them, to hold them or love them?’
Alice was certain. ‘I do want my pregnancy to go full term.’
The doctor nodded. ‘I’m very relieved to hear it,’ he confessed. ‘Otherwise it might have been a very difficult thing to deal with.’
‘Oh?’ Alice was intrigued, ‘How’s that?’
He explained, ‘Terminating a pregnancy is something that should never be taken lightly. There are many issues to consider. Firstly, there’s the matter of how far along you are. Then there’s
the actual procedure of termination, and to be honest, they don’t always go to plan. Then there’s the emotional and psychological problems, which can take years to erase, if ever.’
He studied her for a moment. ‘Then of course there are times when we see problems, and find it necessary to refuse the procedure.’
‘You don’t see problems with me, do you doctor?’
‘Of course, your circumstances are slightly different from the normal, what with the injuries you sustained and the danger of inflicting more surgery on you at a time when you are vulnerable. You needed time to consider all the options. However, terminating a pregnancy in the later stages is always a serious issue, and often dangerous, which is why we needed you to make a decision sooner rather than later.’
He stood up. ‘However, that particular dilemma is now thankfully resolved. But, I do have other issues for you to deal with.’
‘What kind of issues, doctor?’
‘Well, first and foremost, you need to put some fat on your bones. You’re far too thin, and you look tired. I’ll speak with the nutritionist, and also the physiotherapist. Between the two of them they should be able to get you strong in body and mind, ready for the birth.’
He began scribbling on to his prescription pad. ‘Meanwhile, remember to take one of these a day. You can collect them at the pharmacy by the front entrance. Oh, and you must book your next appointment at the desk. We will need to see you on a regular basis.’
On that note, he wished her well, and reminded her to be careful with the medication. Then he saw her out the door.
Mandy was waiting to meet her, eager to hear what the doctor had said.
The two of them chatted all the way to the bus stop.
‘Everything’s fine. He doesn’t see any problems, but he says I need fattening up.’ Alice smiled. ‘With the twins growing inside me, I’m sure I’ll be fat as an elephant soon enough!’
‘No! He’s right!’ Mandy was adamant. ‘Compared to me, you’re like a stick insect.’ She made a face. ‘Mind you, compared to me,
everyone’s
a stick insect.’
‘Don’t be hard on yourself,’ Alice chided. ‘Besides, I am not a stick insect.’
‘Yes, you are! There’s nothing of you, nobody would ever guess you were pregnant!’
In an impulse, Alice flung her arms round her friend. ‘You’re right!’ she laughed excitedly. ‘
I’m pregnant!
Oh, Mandy, I’m so glad I’ve decided to go ahead with the pregnancy. I don’t think I could have lived with myself if I’d chosen to terminate.’
‘I knew you wouldn’t do it,’ Mandy confessed. ‘All the time you were agonising over it, I knew all along it would never happen.’ She knew how such a thing would have haunted Alice forever and a day.
For a time they walked along in silence; arm in arm, each deep in thought. When they got on the bus, Alice voiced her feelings about Joe, and how desperately she needed to see him.
‘Why can’t you leave it be?’ Mandy asked worriedly. ‘Especially after what Tom said.’
‘I can’t leave it be,’ Alice confided, ‘I won’t rest until I’ve seen Joe and talked with him.’
‘Oh, and how will you do that, when you don’t even know where he is?’
‘I think I do.’
‘How can you? As far as I know, they haven’t told anyone.’
Alice explained, ‘After Tom sent me away, I overheard Nancy telling him to calm down. Then she mentioned Joe, and said something about Luton and Dunstable. That’s what Nancy said.’
‘But you won’t go, will you? I thought Tom said that Joe didn’t want to see you anymore?’
Alice had been thinking about that. ‘To tell you the truth, Mandy, I’m not sure I believe Tom,’ she admitted. ‘He might be saying that just to keep me away.’
Mandy disagreed. ‘Will you be cross if I speak my mind?’
‘No. I really
want
you to speak your mind.’
‘All right then, I will.’ She had to say it, even if Alice might feel hurt. ‘Listen, Alice. You can’t get away from the fact that in doing what you did, you and Joe set off a series of catastrophes. I mean, think about it.
You
ended up in hospital for weeks on end, and almost died. Tom was hurt, and
Joe
is still hospitalised. According to what Tom told you, we don’t even know if Joe will ever be the same again.’
‘You’re right, and I blame myself. I should never have gone into the barn that night. It was wrong, and I
knew
it was wrong, but I still let it happen!’
Her voice broke with emotion. ‘Sometimes, when I can’t sleep, I think about that night. I remember how wonderful it was, not dirty or sordid, but kind of magical. I will never forget how it felt with Joe’s arms around me. I love him, Mandy. I can’t help what I feel.’
She had thought long and hard and she knew what she must do. ‘I wouldn’t blame Joe if he regretted it though, and even if it’s true that he never wants to see me again, I would never blame him for that either. The trouble is…’
Mandy completed the sentence for her. ‘You just can’t believe Joe would never want to see you again, that’s it, isn’t it?’
Alice nodded. ‘I need him to say it to my face,’ she said. ‘I need to see it in his eyes. More than that, I have to satisfy myself that he’s on the road to recovery.’
When Alice talked of Joe, she was so alive her eyes shone and her face lit up from the inside. There was something about her that was different, and amazing.
‘You really do love him, don’t you?’ Mandy asked now.
‘With all my heart,’ Alice replied softly. ‘From the very first moment I saw him…just after Frank and I started going out together. He took me to see Tom and Nancy, and Joe was there. He smiled at me, and something happened. It was like he could see my thoughts…like he was in my head. I was drawn to him then, and soon after he’d gone away, I found myself thinking about him.’
‘So, if you felt like that, why didn’t you end it with Frank?’
Alice shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I suppose I thought it was nothing…that I was just excited to meet Frank’s brother or something. I really don’t know!’
She smiled at the memory. ‘That first meeting, Joe seemed a bit mysterious. He hardly spoke. He just smiled, the kind of smile that creeps right into your insides.’
She took a deep breath. ‘Then he suddenly went away. One minute he was there and the next he was gone. After that, I kept thinking about him, wanting to see him.’
She felt a bit like a schoolgirl with her first crush. ‘When I think about it now, I must have fallen in love with him right from that first meeting, only I didn’t know it. Not until he came home to be Frank’s best man. That was when I knew.’
The smile slipped away and in its place was a sense of desolation. ‘I swear to you, Mandy, if I could turn back the clock, I would have thought twice about going through with the wedding. It was the wrong thing to do. I see that now. Tom was right; it was all my fault. I went to the barn. I watched Joe handling the bird and my heart was aching to be with him. I should have walked away, but I didn’t, and for that one moment of weakness, a lot of good people have been hurt.’
Sliding an arm round her shoulders, Mandy told her not to blame herself. ‘It takes two,’ she said comfortingly. ‘Just remember that.’
Deep down, Alice knew she was right. ‘I would still change things if I could.’
‘Well, you can’t!’ Mandy told her sharply. ‘What’s done is done, and besides…’
She gently patted Alice’s belly. ‘You need to concentrate on these two little monsters. Before you know it, you’ll have ‘em dangling one from each little titty. And don’t forget what goes in the top, must come out the bottom. There’ll be so many nappies to wash and change, you won’t know which way up you are!’
Alice laughed at that, but soon the mood was sober again, and her intention resolute.
One way or another, she had to find out the answers for herself. Had Tom told her the truth? Did Joe actually say that he never wanted to see her again?
And what could she do, to stop Tom and Nancy losing everything they had worked so hard for?
Neither Mandy nor Alice had noticed the dark saloon that followed them all the way from the hospital, and was still tailing them now.
They didn’t see how, even after they had climbed aboard the bus, the car stayed close.
It kept a discreet pace all the way to the bottom of Aspley Hill, where Mandy got off. ‘I’ll see you in the week,’ Mandy called as she stepped down off the bus. ‘Look after yourself!’
‘You too!’ Alice waved from the window, and soon Mandy was gone, leaving Alice feeling lonely, and a little sad.
In all this time, Frank had never been far away.
He watched them now from his car window. He watched Mandy until she was out of sight. He then eased the car forward, still pursuing
the bus, still wary that someone might recognise him; though he had taken every precaution.
Having carefully tipped the brown trilby low on his forehead, he could easily see out, while ensuring that his face was well hidden from prying eyes.
When Alice got off the bus, he followed, keeping enough distance between them not to alert her.
When she turned to go up the drive, he drew the car over and proceeded on foot, making sure to keep close to the hedge.
As Alice entered the porch, he remained behind the gate, watching her; thinking how if it had been part of his plan, he could have have abducted her with ease. For now though, it served his purpose to closely monitor her movements.
‘You got free of me last time,’ he growled. ‘But now that I know where you are, there’ll be time enough to finish the job!’
He felt only loathing for the woman he had taken for a wife. He had never really loved her. She was merely a means to an end. He had hoped she might afford him wealth and status the like of which he had never known before. He knew now it had all been a pipe dream, because the family wealth would never have been his.
More than that, she had shamed and hurt him. All that time she had kept him waiting for her virginity until they were married, and then before the event, she willingly gave herself to his brother.
The wish to see her dead remained strong in him.
Added to which, the discovery that Joe was still alive was like a thorn in his side.
Once he knew Joe’s whereabouts, he would wait for his moment, and when it came, his plan was to kill two birds with one stone.
The idea made him smile.
He watched now as Alice put her key in the lock, but then she swung her head round nervously as if sensing his presence before pushing open the door. He dodged back into the hedge; secure in the knowledge that she had not seen him there.
After Alice had gone inside, he went back up the lane to his car. Once there, he quickly climbed inside, started the engine and moved off.
A short time later he drove past his parents’ cottage without even a thought for them.
He drove on for another mile or so, before turning into a narrow cart track, then he continued on for another mile.
When he reached the fork in the road where it opened out in three directions, he turned the car about and parked it under the far-reaching branches of an old beech tree.
Satisfied that should he have need to make a quick exit, he would have a fast and clear way out, he now stopped the engine, switched off the ignition, and got out of the car.
Locking the car, he dropped the keys into his jacket pocket, and continued on foot, along the familiar and well-used track.
After a while, he found a broad tree stump nestled into the hedge. Pleased with himself, he settled down to wait for his prey.
Digging into his jacket pocket he took out a packet of cigarettes. He slipped one out and, putting it between his lips, he dug into his pocket for a second time, located a match and struck it on the sole of his shoe. He cradled the flame against the breeze, and lit the tip of his cigarette.
After enjoying a long, slow drag of the cigarette, he blew out the smoke in a perfect ring. ‘You haven’t lost it, Frank old son!’ he chuckled, his gaze now trained on the stile and the field beyond. He glanced at his watch. ‘He shouldn’t be too much longer,’ he murmured. ‘A man of habit…always has been!’
The minutes passed, then an hour, and now Frank was weary
and irritated. ‘Where the devil are you, Jimmy?’ he muttered. ‘I know this is the way you always come, with your poaching bag over your shoulder, fit to burst, you thieving git!’
He sniggered. ‘You always were a better thief than a farmhand!’
Not too far away, crouched down at the deep end of the brook, having skilfully snatched them from the slow-moving waters, Jimmy was busy hooking up the last of his catch. Violently flipping and twitching, the fish were already gasping their last.