Badger the Mystical Mutt and Daydream Drivers (8 page)

“What’s that smell?” he winced.

“That, my dear boy, is the delicate aroma of garlic cloves. I’m afraid I had an
unfortunate encounter with an annoying flea earlier, and as I’m sure you know, fleas are no fans of garlic.”

“Oh!” said Badger grimacing, as he realised that his flea plan had been foiled.

“It does, however, highlight one more reason to clean up this lane and put in some quality housing. It will attract a better, cleaner breed of dog and cat. So, unless you want me to call in the Pong Police to deal with the fleas (and you know that their poison is
not
mutt-friendly), I suggest you and your crew back off now, and simply accept that I, as usual, have won,” the Earl boasted.

As Badger thought of a reply, he heard a tiny voice and felt a twitch on his snout. He crossed his eyes to focus.

“Hello. Yes, it’s me, little old flea. Count me in!” said the little creature on the end of his nose. Suddenly there was an almighty roar as the Security Dogs shouted “Charge!”

They barked, they growled, they snarled, they spat and bared their vicious fangs.

As the fierce dogs leapt into action and pounced on Badger’s peaceful protest, the Earl slipped quietly away.

Pogo Paws and Pickle caught several Security Dogs with their bin lids, and clanged their heads together like cymbals. The birds swooped down and tied their
enemy’s paws up with ribbon. Badger pointed his ears forward to the heap of discarded sand and commanded: “
Wind now whistle into a gust, and turn this lane to a fog of dust
.”

The sand whirled into the air and soon, everyone was rubbing their eyes.

But as both sides started to retreat, Lennie was still in the thick of it. He was caught between the jaws of a three-legged, one-eyed monster. The dog threw him against the fence and just as he was about to lunge for Lennie, he froze.

Lennie’s long-lost brother Louie stood before him.

“Lennie, is that you?”

“Is that really you, Louie? Am I dreaming again?” cried Lennie.

“It’s really me, Lennie, and no you’re definitely
not
dreaming. Let me get you out of here, it’s too dangerous. Quick, follow me.”

Louie led Lennie towards the pond, where all was quiet apart from the ducks.

“What happened to you after I fled that day?” Lennie asked anxiously.

“Well as you can see, I lost a leg in the fight, but I adapted quickly. I’m known as Tri-pawed now.” Louie laughed. “And I got a nasty gash on my eye, so in the end it just closed up. I think my eyeball’s still in there.”

“But how did you manage to get away from the Big Folk handlers?”

“They left me for dead, Lennie, and I played dead until I was sure they had gone. I managed to get to a main road, and then the heavens smiled upon me. A local Big Folk vet was passing and picked me up. I’ll never forget the kindness he showed me.”

“But I don’t understand. How did you end up here, working for the Earl?”

“Well, the Big Folk vet operated and looked after me for a while, but he couldn’t keep me for ever. He took me to the pound. I stayed there for weeks, but I wasn’t
exactly a good-looking pet for a new Big Folk family.” Louie smiled weakly. “So, I made my escape. I heard the Earl was hiring ferocious guard dogs, so I got the job.”

“Oh no. But that means we’re on different sides, Louie”.

“I don’t know the reason for the quarrel, Lennie. I’m just a tail for hire. But I know this; I’m tired and fed up with fighting”.

“Then, please, will you help us, Louie? And then let me look after you. I’ve spent so long missing you. You can retire, and I can make sure you get food and water. You’ll have family and friendship. What could be better than that?”

Louie looked doubtfully at Lennie.

“But I’m your big brother.
I
should be looking after
you
.”

“Just you being here with me will be all the looking after I need. Please say yes?” pleaded Lennie.

“Okay!” said Louie brightly. “Tell me what needs to be done.”

Back in the lane, the dust had settled and all was quiet. The Earl crept back to the battle scene. All of the protestors had vanished; all except Badger.

“So, this is what it’s come to Doodles, is it?” said Badger sadly.

“Well, what do you expect? I’ve never lost before. I don’t see why I should start now,” said the Earl coldly.

“You’ve never lost before? That’s not entirely true though is it?” said Badger.

“I have
no
idea what you’re talking about.”

“Well, you lost out on the chance to get to spend time with your mother. Didn’t your father the Duke, meet her on a trip to Persia? Wasn’t she part Afghan, part Saluki, and most definitely
not
a pure-breed like the Doodlepoppington clan? And then she went home to her own family, when she’d had enough of his blusters and blunders.”

“My father said she didn’t want me,” said the Earl forlornly.

“Not true! She tried to take you with her, but he wouldn’t allow it.”

“Are you in contact with her?” asked the Earl.

“Now and again” said Badger softly “We keep in touch with the odd p-mail, and she always asks how you are getting on. I’ll be sorry to tell her of your latest exploits, of course.”

As the Earl turned to leave, looking a little less commanding than he had earlier, two of his Security Dogs rushed up to him breathless.

“It’s the Duke of Doodlepoppington, Sir. We’ve just picked up an urgent p-mail for you.”

Both Badger and the Earl stood still and waited to hear the news from Upper Barkingford.

“He’s run off with the little poodle that gives away free samples from the doggy chocs factory,” said the smaller of the dogs.

“Hah!” scoffed the Earl “That’s not news! He’s always had a sweet tooth!”

“But that’s not all, Sir,” said the larger of the dogs. “The p-mail also said that he’s sold up everything, including your home!”

As eviction day dawned, news had quickly spread of the Earl’s loss of his own home.

Badger had made his cousin, who was in shock, comfortable in his shed, with his best blankets and most buttery of toast.

“I’m sorry for what’s happened, Doodles,” said Badger apologetically. “I know that Upper Barkingford is where you grew up, and is the only place you’ve ever called home. You can stay on here as long as you want, of course.”

The Earl harrumphed. “My father is a brute to do this. But in a funny sort of way, I feel free. He was forever telling me I was doing things wrong. And I can’t believe that my mother wanted to see me and he never told me.”

“I suppose we should let her know what’s happened. Maybe you could send her a p-mail?” suggested Badger.

“I’d like that very much. I was really small when she left. I can’t even remember her face.”

“Maybe not, but we dogs never forget a smell.” Badger smiled.

“Indeed! However, in the meantime, without the stately pile in Upper Barkingford, I have no home and no funds.” He frowned.

“What does this mean for your plans for the lane?” asked Badger hopefully.

“I’m afraid, they must go ahead. Without my income from the home estate, I have to actually earn something now. The lane seems like the best option, as work has already begun. So the eviction orders still stand.”

Badger groaned.

Out in the lane, Louie was rallying the troops. The Sniffer, Digger and Security Dogs had all downed tools and were gathered around their three-legged, one-eyed colleague.

“Are you all aware that the boss has no funds now to pay us for our work?”

The crowd of dogs griped and grumbled restlessly.

“This is unfair treatment when we’ve all worked so hard,” added Louie, stirring up the bunch even more. “So will you join me in a walkout?”

The throng surged forward with cheers.
As the crowd dispersed, Lennie, who had been watching from the side, shouted, “Well done!” to his brother. Louie hopped off the makeshift scaffolding to meet him.

“That should do it” he said cheerfully “Let’s see how the Earl manages when he has to get his
own
paws dirty.”

“All the same, I do feel a little sorry for him. He
has
just lost his home,” said Lennie sadly.

Badger and the Earl were returning to his shed, after sending a p-mail to the Earl’s mother, when they bumped into the alley cats.

“We are sorry for your loss, Mister Doodlepops, and we bring you this fish for supper.”

“Erm, thank you most kindly,” said the Earl uncomfortably.

As they rounded the corner, Pogo Paws and Pickle ran up to them with a fresh chop from the butcher’s yard.

“This wasn’t my idea,” said Pickle
reluctantly. “Pogo Paws here thought we should offer our sympathies, and that this chop might cheer you up. We’re still annoyed with you.”

“Thank you very much,” replied the Earl drooling at the sight of the chop.

As they reached Badger’s garden, Lennie appeared with a bag of Crunchy Munchy Chewy Chops.

“I thought you might like some of these,” said Lennie.

“Thank you. Now come and join me, dear fellow. Perhaps we can all share them together?”

Badger, Lennie and the Earl slipped through the crack in the fence and lay down on the grass.

“I don’t understand it,” said the Earl. “Surely, I’m enemy number one around here? Yet everyone is being so kind.”

“That’s what community is all about, Doodles. Sometimes we can put our differences aside for the greater good. You’ve just had a shock, and despite what you think, you’ve been around here long enough now for our friends to care about you. That’s what you’ll be destroying when you evict everyone, to make way for your luxury doghouses.”

“Yes, I can see that now,” mused the Earl.

“There’s just one other thing,” said Lennie. “Your working dogs have left and moved on to another job. I think they were afraid they wouldn’t get paid for all the work they’ve done.”

“Oh no!” groaned the Earl. “That’s all I need. It looks like you’ve all got what you wanted. I’ll have to halt the development until I can find a new team to work with me. No evictions today then.”

Lennie winked at Badger. As the Earl nodded off, Lennie picked up the Dreamcatcher they had brought back from the Zen Den and started to play with the feathers. He kept checking to see if the Earl was definitely asleep.

“What is it, Lennie? You’re obviously bursting to tell me something,” asked Badger

“Ssssssh!” said Lennie excitedly “Don’t mention a word to the Earl, but I have the most amazing news. Louie’s here. He was one of the Earl’s Security Dogs”

“Louie?” asked Badger.

“Yes, Louie, my brother. He finally escaped the street fights although he was badly injured. The others call him Tri-pawed.”

“I’m so pleased you’ve met him again. So that dream about him was a really good one, eh?”

“Yes, I don’t think I need the Dreamcatcher now for my nightmares, but I thought it would look pretty in my box in the lane. Now I have a home to return to.”

“Indeed,” said Badger, “though how we’ll get the lane back to normal after all the building work, I don’t know. Still, at least it’s ours again, for the meantime.”

Lennie trotted homewards happier than he’d been for a while, knowing that his brother would be waiting for his return.

At the old oak tree, a p-mail had just arrived from a Soraya Jafari from Persia.