Badger the Mystical Mutt and Daydream Drivers (3 page)

The searing rays of the sun beat down upon Lennie’s head. He was so, so very thirsty. Inches away from his face, a scorpion scuttled. Out of the corner of his eye, he spied a snake slithering towards him. If he could have moved at all, he would have trembled. Suddenly, he felt the ground vibrate and looked into the haze. Coming straight towards him were two galloping camels. As they drew closer, Lennie scrunched up his eyes to focus. The riders were Pogo Paws and Pickle.

“Oh, my saviours! They’ve come at last to rescue me. And they’ve got water flasks too.”

Pogo Paws and Pickle stopped abruptly in front of Lennie, and jumped off their camels.

“Am I glad to see both of you! Please can I have some water?” gasped Lennie.

Pogo Paws swung the water flask in front of Lennie’s eyes.

“Are you thirsty Lennie?” he teased. “Before we let you drink, tell us where you’ve hidden the Crunchy Munchy Chewy Chops!”

“What are you talking about? I haven’t got any Crunchy Munchy Chewy Chops,” said Lennie.

“Oh, but I think you
do
,” said Pickle.

“But I don’t. Please can I just have some water?” begged Lennie.

Pickle grabbed the flask from Pogo Paws and giggled. “Of course you can, Lennie.” She emptied out the flask on to the sand in front of him. The wet sand gurgled and frothed, and then started to shift around Lennie. Pogo Paws quickly poured another flask into the sand.

“This is called quicksand, Lennie, and if you’re not quick, it will pull you under, and you’ll sink without a trace,” cackled Pickle.

Lennie’s chin started to disappear into the clutching sand.

Tell us where the Chewy Chops are, and then we’ll save you,” growled Pogo Paws.

Lennie spluttered through a mouthful of sand. “I don’t know where they are!”

Just then, he heard a voice. “Don’t know where what are, dear chap?”

He opened his eyes nervously and looked up. It was pitch-black. Above him stood the Earl of Doodlepoppington. He was back in
the sandpit in the lane and night had fallen.

“Phew, I’m not in the desert, it was another nightmare” sighed Lennie

“You are causing me a nightmare right now Lennie” said the Earl “this sandpit has to go”.

“Has to go where? What do you mean?” asked Lennie.

“Go from here. It doesn’t fit with my plans. It’s an eyesore” said the Earl.

“What plans?” asked Lennie.

“My plans for developing the lane into luxury kennels, of course,” he replied.

“What? Here? But what about everyone who lives here already?” asked Lennie in alarm.

“What about them?” scoffed the Earl. “They’ll simply move on. Surely one cardboard box is much the same as another? Anyway, I have no wish to be discussing this with
you
. It’s time for my cocoa and bed.”

“Can you at least help me out of here, please?” asked Lennie.

The Earl looked down his very long nose in disgust.

“I wouldn’t dirty my paws for the likes of you!”

“Please can you tell Badger where I am then? He’ll help me out.”

“If I must,” sneered the Earl.

Lennie’s head slumped as the Earl strolled off in the direction of Badger’s garden.

Badger was busy pinning more feathers to the basketball ring when the Earl arrived to tell him of Lennie’s whereabouts.

Badger sped to the sandpit and saw only Lennie’s eyes and ears peeking out, looking very distressed.

“Just sit tight, Lennie. I’ll get you out of this.”

“I’ve been sitting tight for ages” spluttered Lennie.

“This calls for a bit of assistance” said Badger. He tapped his trusty neckerchief and closed his eyes.

“Okay ’Chief, Show koo ray, show koo ray
,

Help me shovel this sand away!”

Sparkles of light appeared, as ’Chief unravelled, swirled around, flattened out and stiffened. It shot towards Lennie and began to dig. Badger jumped into the sandpit and dug frantically, too.

Lennie’s chest emerged, and as the sand started to pull away further, he was able to free his paws and ease himself out slowly. ’Chief flew back to Badger’s neck.

“Badger, thank you, thank you. I had another nightmare. It was horrible. I don’t know whether this was part of the dream of not, but I met the Earl, and he let it slip that his development plans are for right here, in the lane!”

Badger stopped suddenly. “He said
what
?”

“It might have been part of my nightmare Badger, I don’t know. But I think he plans to do it
here
.”

“I think it was real enough. It was the Earl who told me you were in the sandpit, after all.”

“And he wants all of us out!” cried Lennie.

Badger shook his head. “I’ve seen this before with him, Lennie. He is ruthless. He has no mercy, and no understanding of what makes a community, such as ours, in the lane. We have to stop him. Immediately!”

The next day, Badger and Lennie were sharing some much needed toast.

“I can’t believe he didn’t tell me,” said Badger. “He’s staying here with me. He showed me his plans, but I had no idea it was on my patch. This is serious.”

Lennie nodded.

Badger peered through the crack in the fence and looked fondly out into the lane.

“Look at the alley cats with their wonderful Meowzik Maker. Do you remember how they helped with the
Barking Boogie
? Hamish and Lucky live only a few gardens up. And at the far end is PLOPP, the drop-in centre, Timmy and Snif’s creation; an amazing place. You live there, Lennie. Even Pogo Paws and Pickle, as much as they annoy you; that’s where their home is too.

But most of all there’s the wise old oak tree, scene of so many adventures and our best server of p-mails,” said Badger.

“I know,” sighed Lennie sadly.

Badger squinted up at the hot sun high in the sky.

“The Earl should be here anytime. It’s time for his lunch. Now Lennie, to other matters. We need to get these nightmares of yours sorted. Did the milk and cinnamon help at all?”

“Oh no!” remembered Lennie. “The jam jars must have got buried in the sand.”

“Never mind. We need to find out what’s really causing your nightmares, and I know the very thing to help with that.”

Badger checked his sundial. He looked to see where the shadow was. “Nearly there. The Wim-Wim will be here shortly and then we can take flight.”

“Take flight? But I can’t fly,” worried Lennie.

“Don’t worry, we’ll sort that out too,” reassured Badger.

Just then, a long nose appeared through the crack in the fence, followed by the Earl of Doodlepoppington’s elegant form.

“Good day, chaps. Ah, Lennie, I see you made it safely out of that ghastly sandpit,” he said.

Badger bristled, but tried to remain calm.

“When were you going to tell me, cousin?” he asked through gritted teeth.

“Tell you what?” said the Earl, shifting uneasily from paw to paw.

“About your plans for the lane, of course,” said Badger.

“Oh,
that
. Isn’t it marvellous?” The Earl nodded to Lennie. “Your friends, Pogo Paws and Pickle, are proving to be quite an asset on that front.”

“You mean you’ve tricked them into helping you somehow?” said Badger.

“Where did you get that idea from?” asked the Earl.

“Erm …
everything
you’ve
ever
been involved with. It’s the way you work,” said Badger.

“Now, listen here,” said the Earl coldly. “This will be great for the lane. It’s about time we got rid of all those waifs and strays, and clutter and jumble, and took the place upmarket. No cousin of mine should be living in such a hovel.”

Badger’s dander was ruffled.

“But
here
is my home;
these
are my friends; and
this
is our community. You have no right to destroy it!”

Just then Badger heard the familiar clang and clatter of the Wim-Wim’s arrival.

“I have to go now,” said Badger. “But I warn you
Doodles, if you set one paw in the lane whilst I’m away, there will be trouble.

The Earl stood to attention and saluted him.

“Whatever you say, Badger, whatever you say,” said the Earl with a chuckle.

Badger took Lennie by the paw and led him to the Wim-Wim. Lennie hesitated.

“What’s
that
?” He pointed.

“It’s the Wim-Wim for a wowser to wind the weather up on a wet day, of course,” said Badger.

“Blimey!” said Lennie.

“Why don’t you come in and take a seat?” invited Badger.

“Is
this
the famous flying machine?” asked Lennie.

“Yes, the Wim-Wim
can
fly,” said Badger, “but we’re not flying anywhere right now. Just come in and relax.”

As Lennie sat down gingerly in the Wim-Wim, Badger tapped his neckerchief quietly. It slowly unravelled from his neck and hung like a medallion. It swung gently from side
to side in front of Lennie’s eyes with a heavy knot at the bottom.

“Look at that!” said Badger. “Now, focus on the knot.”

Lennie’s eyes followed the rhythm of the swaying knot back and forth, to and fro, until his eyelids drooped.

Badger closed his eyes and whispered:

“Into the Land of Nod we go
,

Where all is good and dreams can grow
,

High and free in Cuckoo Land
,

Where clouds will give us a helping hand.”

Very quickly, Lennie was in a deep contented sleep.

Badger turned the golden key on the side of the Wim-Wim and soon they were high in the midday sky, on their way to the Crystal Cave to put a stop to Lennie’s nightmares.

But while all was peaceful inside the Wim-Wim, if Badger had zoomed down into the lane beneath him at that moment, he would have seen a sight that would have made him gasp in horror.

The Earl had brought in his Digger Dogs … and they were digging up the lane.