He smiled. "And getting nowhere fast. Unfortunately for you, mysterious women have always fascinated me. So... you make good tips?" He nodded. "I can believe it. "
She wondered what he meant by that, but she was too weary to pursue it. The sidewalk ahead of her seemed
48 CATHERINE ANDERSON
to stretch for a thousand miles. Her legs felt heavy and rubbery. "How much farther is it, anyhow?"
"Not very far. " He drew to a stop, cradling her against him. "We'll just rest here a minute. There's no fire, right?"
His broad chest was there, offering a perfect spot to lay her cheek. Maggie tried to resist, but she couldn't.
With numb arms, she hugged the package and nestled in beside Jaimie to lean against him. As if he understood how weak and woozy she felt, he supported nearly all her weight. "I'm sorry, " she grated out.
"I'm afraid you struck a poor bargain. I feel sort of sick. "
"Sick?" he repeated sharply. "Where?"
"All over. Like I've been run over by a truck, and I'm kind of nauseated. "
She felt the steamy warmth of his breath on the crown of her head. "If the pain in those ribs doesn't ease up, I'm taking you to the hospital. "
"No. " Maggie tried to push away from him, only to be foiled by his hold on her. "I told you, I can't go around a bunch of people. Besides, I can't afford a hospital. Do you know how expensive emergency-room treatment can be?"
"Calm down. It was just a thought. "
"As bruised up as I am, I'm bound to be sore. I don't need a doctor. "
"All right, all right, " he said in a soothing tone. "Forget I suggested it. Maybe you'll feel better once you eat and get some rest. "
With him footing the bill for both the food and the room? She wouldn't feel better until she saw the last of him. Oh, how she wanted to refuse his generosity, but her baby needed to be fed, and she couldn't gather her thoughts enough to think of an alternative. She just wanted to lean against him and keep her eyes closed forever.
He nudged her erect. "It's not much farther. You game? Or do you want me to get Jaimie settled in the
BABY LOVE 49
room and come back for you? With nothing to carry, I can pack you the rest of the way if it's too hard to walk on your own. "
Maggie wasn't about to let her baby out of her sight. "I can walk, " she insisted, and somehow she managed to do just that, planting one foot in front of the other until he finally said, "Here we are. You wait here for me, all right? I'll only be a minute. "
Maggie was grateful for the overhang post he propped her against. Clutching the bag to her chest, she rested her cheek against the wood and gazed after him. He stepped into a small, glass-fronted motel office. From where she stood, Maggie could see that a plump lady with gray hair manned the registration desk, which was little more than a scarred counter boasting a ratty potted fern and a display of brochures.
Holding Jaimie in one arm, Rafe reached into his pants pocket for some money while the woman asked him questions and filled out some sort of form. Minutes later, he emerged holding a black plastic key ring with the number fourteen printed in faded white on its oval surface.
"I tried to get two beds, " he explained as he helped her across the empty parking lot toward one of the cottages. "But all she has is singles. It's a queen-size, though. That's a plus. Right?"
Maggie focused on the front of the cabin as he unlocked the door. White siding with red trim glared in the morning light, the lower horizontal panels spattered with flecks of mud by runoff from the eaves. Empty red window boxes, in sad need of paint, underscored the windows. The door creaked when he pushed it open. As he drew her into the room, she tripped on the threshold and might have fallen if not for the grip of his hand on her elbow.
The faint, closed-up smell of mildew blasted her in the face. Maggie stood just inside the door, numbly taking in her surroundings, which consisted of a dated dresser with a filmy mirror, a bed draped in white che-50 CATHERINE ANDERSON
nille, and an awful brown shag carpet that was so worn the nap lay flat. A rusty wall heater sat cold beneath a window covered by droopy short drapes that had once been white but were now yellow with age, one of the panels stained by a window leak.
"Well, it'll do in a pinch. At least it looks halfway clean. "
Relieving Maggie of the paper sack, he turned on the heater and stepped around to the opposite side of the wide bed to lay Jaimie on the white chenille. As he drew away the coat and sweatshirt, the baby thrashed his legs and let out a plaintive whimper. "Right on cue for breakfast, hey, partner?" He glanced up at Maggie. "Shed the coat, honey, and lie down. I'll crack out the formula and bring His Nibs here a bottle in a minute. "
Maggie tried to peel off the coat, but it was heavy and her arms hung at her sides like lengths of stiff garden hose. The wall heater made a monotonous humming noise that seemed to harmonize with the ringing in her ears. She watched Rafe disappear at the opposite end of the room into what she presumed was a bathroom.
His deep voice rang out from the enclosure. "Are we stylin' or what? We even have a coffeemaker. "
She heard water run and then a squeak as he turned off the tap. Paper rustled as he opened the bag and sorted through his purchases—purchases she had yet to pay him for. During the silence that followed, she considered grabbing Jaimie and hightailing it out of there. Two things stopped her. The cowboy had the bottle and formula in the bathroom with him, and she could barely walk, let alone run.
She careened toward the bed, somehow managing to lift her feet enough to avoid falling flat. When the mattress nudged her knees, she sank gratefully onto the soft surface and buried her face in the pillow.
He'd come back in a minute and be all hot to do his thing.
Think Maggie.
Unless she came up with a quick solution, he would expect her to pay him back as per
BABY LOVE 51
the terms of their bargain. She trailed her fingertips over her bare left wrist, wishing she could offer him her watch in trade, but she'd broken the crystal at work last week, and water had gotten inside the casing.
Tears prickled behind her eyelids. That left her exactly nothing to barter with now—except her body.
Oh, how she hoped he really would let her sleep afterward. Then, perhaps, she'd feel better and would be able to leave. She just wouldn't think about what was in store for her. That was the trick. In fact, she was so tired, maybe she would be able to sleep through the ordeal. He could wake her up when he was done—
or, even better, just let her go on sleeping.
From a long way off, Maggie heard Jaimie crying. She blinked to awareness, relieved that her need to use the bathroom seemed a little less urgent now that she was in a horizontal position. Pushing herself up on one elbow, she saw Rafe standing beside the bed. With the air of a man who'd done so many times, he dribbled formula from the bottle onto the inside of his wrist.
He glanced up and smiled. "I washed everything as best I could, and I got the chill off the formula by putting the bottle in scalding hot water from the coffeepot. This is premixed so we don't have to mess around measuring everything. "
The frayed cuffs of his shirt looked wet, an indication that he had at least scrubbed his hands. But, even so, he still looked none too clean. She could only pray Jaimie wouldn't come in contact with some awful germ and get sick.
Rafe scooped the baby into his arm and offered him the bottle. Jaimie gummed the nipple, then pulled an awful face. Rafe chuckled and began walking, nudging the baby's mouth with the latex tip and jiggling him gently.
"I know it's not quite like what your mama has, " she heard him say huskily, "but I don't come with the same equipment. Ah, there. See? It doesn't taste so bad. " He
52 CATHERINE ANDERSON
gave another low laugh. "Whoa, son. Not that fast, or you'll get a bellyache. " The nipple drew air when Rafe tugged it from Jaimie's mouth, the formula inside the bottle bubbling. He glanced at Maggie. "He's draining it like a little siphon hose. "
Maggie yearned to get up and feed the baby herself, but the leaden heaviness of her body dictated otherwise. She watched longingly as Rafe held Jaimie over his shoulder and gently thumped his back to burp him.
"You're good at this, " she observed hoarsely. "Have you been around lots of babies?"
A blank expression crossed his dark face as he resettled Jaimie in the bend of his arm and began feeding him again. "Yeah, I've been around a couple, " he replied, his voice sounding oddly hollow. "Caring for them is kind of like riding a horse. You never forget how. "
Maggie lowered her gaze, feeling as if she'd trespassed on forbidden ground. Glancing back up, she said,
"I didn't mean to pry. I just—"
"No problem. " His larynx bobbed as though he were swallowing a golf ball. When he spoke again, the sadness in his tone lay heavily on the air. "I had two kids, a boy and a girl. "
Maggie couldn't help but note that he had referred to both children in the past tense. "Are you divorced?"
He kept his gaze fixed on the baby, his silence stretching out for so long she thought he meant to let the question go unanswered. But he finally said, "No, " his voice gruff with emotion. "I, um—lost them in a car wreck. "
Maggie's stomach clenched, and she wished with all her heart she had never asked. She started to say she was sorry, but the words seemed so trite that she chose to say nothing at all. Her gaze flew to Jaimie.
She didn't think she could bear it if something happened to him.
"It's been over two years, " he told her. "For a long time, I knew exactly how long ago, right down to the hour and minute. But then I hocked my watch. " He
BABY LOVE 53
laughed, softly and bitterly. "A good thing, I guess. Counting the minutes I'd been without them was kind of morbid. And it didn't do any good. "
Maggie's mouth felt as dry as powder. She still didn't know what to say.
"But hey, life goes on, " he said more brightly, his gaze still fixed on the baby. His mouth curved in a slight smile. "Right, little fella?"
He plucked the nipple from the baby's mouth and held up the nearly empty bottle. "You finished that off in nothing flat. Next time, I better fix you more. "
He set the bottle on the nightstand and shifted the baby back to his shoulder. When Jaimie emitted a loud burp, Rafe grimaced. "Christ! Right down my collar!" He smiled and winked at Maggie. "I guess I don't remember everything about babies. Rule number one when you burp a kid: always wear protective gear. "
He laid the baby on the bed and disappeared into the bathroom again. A moment later, he came back with a disposable diaper and wet washcloth.
"I'll change him, " Maggie said, struggling to rise.
He glanced up. "I can handle this just fine. You see to yourself. You can get that coat off, for starters, before you melt. It's getting warm in here. "
She pushed weakly to her feet and wrestled with the sheepskin, which felt as if it weighed a thousand pounds. Once she managed to shrug one shoulder free, the garment plopped heavily around her feet.
Perspiration filming her body, she stared down at it, too exhausted to pick it up.
"I'll get the coat later, " he assured her. "Jaimie's already nodding off to sleep, so it's not as if he needs you for anything. You just concentrate on shucking your clothes, all right?"
Her clothes? Maggie glanced from the coat to the dingy T-shirt she wore. Of course he expected her to undress. Why hadn't she thought of that? She imagined stripping off and standing before him naked. The very
54 CATHERINE ANDERSON
thought was so humiliating that she wanted to die. Oh, God. What was she doing here?
Don't think,
she told herself firmly.
Just shut it all out. Concentrate on Jaimie. He's got food in his tummy,
and he's warm and dry. No matter what it costs you, his needs are being met, and that's all that matters.
She fixed her gaze on the opposite end of the room where the bathroom was located.
One foot in front of
the other one. You can do it.
The walls seemed to lean inward as she circled the end of the bed. She glimpsed her reflection in the filmy mirror and thought she saw two of herself.
"Easy, honey. I've got you, " a deep voice murmured next to her ear.
Not two of herself. Rafe was beside her. She felt his big hands clasping her elbows, and though she longed to pull away, she let him support her weight instead.
Oh, God.
This was so embarrassing.
"I'm sorry, " she said in a voice that didn't sound like her own. Pathetic was how it sounded.
"No worries. "
Once in the bathroom, he guided her to the toilet, then reached around her and quickly unsnapped her jeans. The sound of her zipper made alarm bells go off in her mind. "No. I can—by myself. Please. "
"I know, " he assured her. "I'm just getting you lined out here. Then I'll leave. Can you hold onto the vanity so you don't fall?"
Maggie grabbed the Formica edge of the countertop with both hands. "Yes, " she said weakly. "Got it. Fine, now. I'm fine. "
She heard him swear under his breath, and for a terrible moment, she feared he might insist on staying in there to help her. "Please, Mr. Kendrick. Go now, please. "
"Are you sure you're all right?"
Maggie couldn't answer, so she just nodded. To her immeasurable relief, he left and closed the bathroom
BABY LOVE 55
door. The small enclosure seemed to spin around her, but somehow she managed to maneuver. When she was finished, she got her jeans button fastened, but the zipper defied her rubbery fingertips.
"Maggie? Honey, are you done?"
She gave up on the zipper and let her arms dangle at her sides. What was wrong with her? Never had she felt so awful. She'd used the rest room, but she still had that burning ache. Did she have a bladder infection? She'd never had one, so she wasn't sure how they felt. Her boss Terry got them sometimes, and she said drinking lots of cranberry juice always helped.