Maggie and her baby weren't his problem. When they reached the next town, he'd give her his coat. That was the best he could do for her. Clenching his teeth, Rafe slipped the ring back inside his shirt where it could rest close to his heart. As it settled against his chest, he imagined he could hear Susan chiding him.
Oh, Rafe. It's just a ring. Can you really turn your back on a baby?
As the imagined whisper grew clearer in his mind, Rafe could finally conjure a picture of his wife's face. It had been so long since he'd been able to remember exactly how she looked that he let his head rest against the wall and closed his eyes, smiling as he traced each of her features. Dear God, how very much he had loved her.
Susan.
He knew if she were here, she'd hock that ring in a heartbeat to feed a hungry baby. In a way, Maggie reminded him a little of her. Not in looks or mannerisms, of course, but in the way she loved. If he lived to be a hundred, he'd never forget the look in her eyes when she'd offered him her body in trade for a bottle and formula. He had almost been able to taste her shame,
BABY LOVE 39
yet she'd made the offer without a thought for herself.
He sighed and pressed his palm over his chest, the blunted edges of the ring digging into his flesh. If he wanted to be able to live with himself, he knew what he had to do.
But it wasn't going to be easy.
Now that the train had stopped, the boxcar was eerily quiet Maggie had no idea exactly what time it was, but judging by the brightness of the sunlight, she guessed it was at least eight-thirty or nine. The songs of birds drifted on the frigid morning air, the sounds faint and incongruously cheerful in such a drab, filthy place. Trying to block out the faint smell of cow, she concentrated instead on scents she caught on the breeze, a wintry blend of icy dampness laced with evergreen that was underscored by the acrid odor of engine fumes.
Huddled in the cowboy's warm coat with her back to the wall, she watched the open doorway, terrified that some bum might spy the empty car and climb inside with her. After her experience last night, she had no illusions. Most men were rats.
Oh, God, she was tired. She had a headache, an all-over sick feeling, and her back was killing her. All she wanted was to close her eyes and sleep for a while. But Jaimie would awaken soon, and when he did, he'd be hungry. She could only pray the cowboy kept his part of their bargain and returned with a baby bottle and formula.
She closed her eyes, picturing his tall, lean body. Hard strength emanated from him like the electrical charge in a high-voltage area. No matter. She simply wouldn't think about it, that was all. She'd just let him do his
40
BABY
LOVE
41
thing, blocking it out as best she could, and afterward, she'd pretend none of this ever happened.
Nausea rose in her throat. She gulped it back. She kept remembering how he had touched her cheek just before he left, his fingertips lightly caressing her skin.
I've thought of a way to get
my hands on some cash. Stay right here. You'll be safe for the short time I'll be gone.
Maggie had yearned to add,
Until you come back, you mean?
Only she hadn't been able to work up the nerve.
That was just as well. She had made him the offer. Right? No one had forced her. And she should be glad he'd decided to take her up on it. What happened to her wasn't important.
Nothing mattered but her baby. Nothing.
Rafe stood on the sidewalk outside the pawnshop, head bent, his shoulders shrugged against the cold as he gazed at the ring that lay on his palm. He wanted so badly to put it back on his neck chain and just keep walking. Who had elected him savior of the world?
But though he tried, he couldn't make himself move on down the sidewalk. He kept hearing Jaimie's cries of hunger. He lifted his head and hauled in a deep breath of air so icy it nearly choked him. Kitchen exhaust from a diner emitted the scent of grilled meat on the brisk breeze, the odor almost acrid. His eyes burned as he stared through the streaked front windows of the pawnshop at the jewelry and electric guitars and doodads on display.
Broken
dreams.
Life had a way of dealing rotten hands, and the sad stories were as varied as the people who experienced them. Now one more broken dream would lie in there on that cheap red velvet.
Maggie's posterior nearly parted company with the floor when she heard footsteps outside the boxcar. The next instant, Kendrick appeared in the doorway, winter sunshine glancing off his black Stetson and tangled hair. He
42 CATHERINE ANDERSON
cast wary glances up and down the track, checking to be sure no one had seen him, a reminder that they both could be arrested if they were caught on this train.
A sick feeling settled in her stomach. Until now, she'd tried to be a model citizen, working hard, paying her bills, and never breaking the law, not even to cheat on her taxes. Now, here she was, miles from home, keeping company with a tramp and well on the way to looking like one herself.
As he braced a palm on the floor to vault inside, she couldn't fail to notice the play of muscle under the loose fit of his chambray shirt. He landed on both feet and straightened to his full height with a fluid strength. Maggie could easily picture him scaling a pasture fence with the same ease, grabbing hold of a post and leaping over as if no barrier existed. He was a tall man, and if the hardened bulges that padded his long frame were an indication, his body had been toned by years of physical labor. Though he'd evidently lost a lot of weight, the thick overlays of lean muscle still gave him impressive bulk.
For the second time since meeting him, she wondered what on earth had happened to make him choose this way of life. Was he wanted by the authorities? For reasons beyond her, he didn't strike her as the criminal type. But then, the same had been said by many people about the notorious Ted Bundy. Her throat tightened as he strode toward her. His every footfall rocked the boxcar and created a plodding tattoo that echoed all around her. His gunmetal gaze held hers, the visual contact making her feel stripped bare despite the sheepskin that enfolded her. With that heavy growth of black beard, he looked ruthless and determined; his strong jaw was set as if he found this situation almost as distasteful as she did. That made no sense at all. If he found their bargain disgusting, he wouldn't be here with the items she requested. Tucked under one arm, he carried a paper sack, the
BABY LOVE 43
top folded over so the contents wouldn't spill. Judging by the large dimensions of the package, he'd purchased more than a baby bottle and formula.
A tremor of sheer dread coursed through her, for she knew she'd pay dearly for every dime he had spent.
She wanted to huddle around Jaimie, let her head fall to her knees, and sob. But no. She'd struck this bargain with him, and she wouldn't let herself blubber and complain now that it was time to pay up.
"Do you feel like you can walk a couple of blocks?"
"Why?"
He arched one black eyebrow. She'd always envied people who could do that. "I'm taking you to a motel where you and Jaimie will be warm and can rest. Maybe get you something to eat. How long since you had a decent meal?"
Maggie had grabbed a piece of toast yesterday morning before she left the house with Jaimie. From that point on, everything had turned nightmarish. She was sort of hungry now—in an empty, nauseated way.
But, oh, God, she didn't want this man to buy her anything to eat.
"Buying me a meal and renting a room wasn't part of our deal, " she reminded him. "All I care about is feeding Jaimie. "
He looked momentarily nonplussed. Then his eyes cleared and took on an amused glint, his firm mouth slanting into a grin that looked raffish. "Maybe I think you're worth more than a baby bottle and a can of formula. " As he spoke, he bent to grasp her elbow. "Up you come. When a man wants to pay more than the asking price, a smart woman doesn't argue the point. "
Oh, yes, she did. She was already in too deep. You got nothing for free, especially from a man. "I don't want to get into some big, drawn-out thing, " she protested, even as he led her to the doorway. "I just want the bottle and formula for my baby, nothing more. If you're hoping for an all-nighter, forget it. "
44 CATHERINE ANDERSON
He released his hold on her arm and jumped from the boxcar with the same powerful grace he'd exhibited earlier, which did little to ease her mind. A motel? What did he have planned? A sexual marathon?
Oh,
God.
Her legs felt as if they might buckle, and now that she was standing up, she had an awful, burning need to use the bathroom. It was also impossible for her to stand erect. The pain across her lower back became excruciating when she tried.
"Did you hear me?" she pressed. "I don't want to go to a motel. "
He turned, set the package on the floor near her feet, and reached up for Jaimie. "I heard you, angel face,
" he said, still grinning slightly. "And I promise you, an 'all-nighter' would be far too taxing for an old guy like me.
She burned to tell him where he could stuff it. But she'd been on the receiving end of a man's anger enough times to know better than to ask for it. Besides, she still didn't have the baby bottle or formula in her possession. He might throw that sack in the next trash can he saw if she refused to cooperate.
For a moment, she stood there, clinging to Jaimie and glaring at him, but in the end, her physical condition forced her to relinquish her hold on the child. If he was absolutely bent on going to a motel, she had little choice but to go along with the idea. He who had the money called the shots.
After taking Jaimie, Rafe tucked him in the crook of one arm and reached up to take her hand. Pressing her other palm on her ribs, Maggie tensed to jump. The next instant, he gave a sharp tug, pulling her off balance. As she fell forward, he released her hand and caught her with his empty arm, clasping her firmly to his broad chest and sweeping her smoothly to the ground. The impact of her body against his made her throb from head to toe, and for an awful minute, she was afraid she might pass out.
BABY LOVE 45
"I'm sorry. I know that hurt, but you're so weak I was afraid you might fall, and it's quite a drop to the ground. "
He held her against his hard length until she gained her feet, making her horribly aware of his greater strength. Then he collected the sack from the boxcar, his gaze lingering on her as he jostled the child and package to get a comfortable hold on both.
Glancing around the train yard, he asked, "Can you make it two blocks without help?"
Maggie shivered inside the coat, her attention darting to the bundled baby in his arms. "Yes, " she said with more confidence than she felt. "Let me carry Jaimie, though. Either that, or you wear the coat so he won't get cold. "
He glanced down at the sleeping baby. "He's fine with the jacket and sweatshirt around him. In five minutes, we'll be in the room. "
He struck off, leaving Maggie to follow. Given the fact that he had her baby, he might as well have had her on a leash. She clamped a hand over her ribs and walked as swiftly as she could to keep up.
He set a brisk pace until they were out of the train yard. Once on the sidewalk, he paused to wait for her, his expression unreadable. "Sorry about the footrace. Coming and going in a railroad yard, it pays not to let any grass grow. "
Maggie understood the need for caution. Huffing for breath and covering the remaining distance between them on legs that threatened to fold, she said, "No problem. I don't want to get tossed in jail any more than you do. "
"I doubt we'd get arrested. Most times, the law looks the other way unless somebody causes trouble.
Railroad employees are a slightly different ball game, though, and it's a lot less hassle if you can avoid them. " His gaze searched hers. Maggie tried to slow her breathing, but
46 CATHERINE ANDERSON
her lungs didn't seem to be inflating to full capacity. "You okay?" he asked.
By way of response, all she could manage was a nod.
"I'm sorry, honey. I'd carry you if I could. "
Coming to a stop, she yearned to lean against him and rest for a moment. Then she remembered where they were going and thought better of it.
A motel?
"I—I really haven't the time for this, " she tried again, hoping he might have a change of heart. "I've got to get where I'm headed and find a job. "
He thrust the sack into her hands. It was surprisingly heavy, and not expecting the weight, Maggie nearly dropped it. While she grappled to get a better hold, he looped his arm around her back and drew her against his side. "Lean into me. Maybe that'll help. It's only two blocks. If we take it slow, maybe you can make it that far. " He bent his head and craned his neck to see her face. "Is my arm hurting you?"
With the thick coat to provide cushion, the pressure on her bruises was painful but not unbearably so. His support also helped to ease the ache across her lower back. Shaking her head, she said, "Did you hear me? I have to find a job so I can send for my little sister. Will another train leave here this morning?"
Without offering a reply, he set off, keeping a slower pace this time and supporting her weight against him. Finally he said, "You can leave tomorrow morning. " As he spoke, he drew her inexorably along the sidewalk. Maggie felt like a condemned prisoner being dragged to the execution chamber. "At the motel, you can eat a little something and get some sleep. Right now, you couldn't work to save your soul, and you know it. What do you do, anyway?"
She blinked, wishing the air weren't so cold. It hurt to breathe. She cast another worried glance at her baby. "Is Jaimie's face covered?"
"He's bundled up like an Express Mail package. "
He drew to a stop on a curb, puffs of vapor forming
BABY LOVE 47
with his breath as he glanced up and down the empty street. The building fronts were a blur to Maggie, but even so, she noted the absence of automobiles at the parking meters that lined the sidewalks. "Where is everyone?"
"When I walked into town earlier, I saw a sign that says the population inside the city limits is only a little over four thousand, and if that clock inside the bank is right, it's only nine-forty, which is still pretty early.
This is largely a ranching community, and ranchers don't usually come to town until they've finished morning chores. "
What bank? Maggie blinked again, feeling oddly separated from reality. "Do you do secretarial or assembly-line work?" he asked as he guided her across the icy asphalt to the opposite curb. "Prior's not that big a town. I can't imagine its being a hub of opportunity. "
"Waitress, " she managed to reply.
"Ah. " He sounded none too impressed.
Maggie tried to straighten away from him, but the circle of his arm around her was as unyielding as forged steel. "I know it's a dead-end job, but I make—really good tips. A better monthly take-home than any secretary, that's for sure. Prestige takes a second seat when you have a family to feed and bills to pay. "
He glanced down at her, the shadow cast by his hat brim concealing the expression in his eyes. "A family to feed, huh? Does that mean you're married and have other kids besides Jaimie?"
"No, I—" Maggie caught herself before she said too much. She angled him a look. "Fishing for information, Mr. Kendrick?"