150 Movies You Should See Before You Die (39 page)

Why It Sucks

It's a James Bond spoof about a dwarf who cock-punches opponents while giggling maniacally. The joke's funny once, but that's about it. The film is so low budget that the villain's minions cruise around in a VW Bug, and Weng Weng's spy gadgets look like they were made in someone's garage — which they probably were.

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The Crappies

The Special Achievement in Unsportsmanlike Behavior Award goes to …
Weng Weng for almost always leading with a punch or a kick to the groin. Sometimes, for good measure, he stomps on the balls of an already defeated bad guy. All this while giggling.

And the Worst Script Award goes to …
Cora Ridon Caballes or whoever wrote the English-language dialogue. It features some of the strangest non sequiturs you'll ever hear.

They Really Said It!

Irma
: You're such a little guy, though. Very petite like a potato.

Betcha Didn't Know

For Your Height Only
was successful enough to spawn a sequel,
The Imposssible Kid
.

Weng Weng reportedly died of progeria at the age of thirty-five.

Trivia Quiz

What degree of martial arts did actor Weng Weng achieve?

A: Green Belt

B: Red Belt

C: Black Belt

D: Weng Weng did not practice martial arts in real life.

Answer: B. According to Weng Weng scholar Andrew Leavold (who created a documentary,
The Search for Weng Weng
), the actor's first movie listed his vital statistics as: Weight, 30 pounds; Red Belt; Blood pressure 120/80.

PRODUCERS
Ken Barnett (executive producer) and Masaichi Nagata (producer)

WRITERS
Nizo Takahashi and Richard Kraft

DIRECTORS
Noriaki Yuasa and Sandy Howard

STARS
Eiji Funakoshi (
Dr. Hidaka
), Michiko Sugata (
Nobuyo
), Brian Donlevy (
Gen. Terry Arnold
), Diane Findlay (
Sgt. Susan Embers
), and Dick O'Neill (
Gen. O'Neill
) The prehistoric (yet radioactive) monster Gammera is awakened by a nuclear explosion in the Arctic. Like any self-respecting giant monster, he heads straight for Tokyo, leaving chaos in his wake. Along the way, however, he befriends a little boy and saves him from certain death. Will evil warmongers see the kindness in Gammera's heart and leave him to level Tokyo in peace?

Why It Sucks

To remind you, Gammera is a giant turtle with two rocket engines in his ass. He also breathes fire … or radioactivity … or gas (understandable, given where the two rocket engines are). That alone files this movie in the cinematic disasters folder. Gammera's name also changes in spelling, between this film and those that follow, as one of the “m”s vanishes. (Now
that
is some serious budget cutting.)

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The Crappies

The Worst Soundtrack Award goes to …
Artie Butler for “The Gammera Theme.” And it lodges itself in your head and stays there for
weeks
.

And the Cynical Ripoff Award goes to …
Masaichi Nagata, who created Gammera to cash in on Godzilla's popularity. As it happens, Gammera trancended his roots, partly due to the inexplicable scene where he chooses to not kill an obnoxious brat.

They Really Said It!

Dr. Hidaka
: Evacuate the area, or at least the civilians. And call me a car.

Betcha Didn't Know

Gammera is an enduring Japanese pop culture icon (at least when his name is spelled with one
m
). The 1966 film has spawned thirteen sequels to date.

Much like Godzilla was Americanized for release in this country, so was Gammera. With an extra
m
added to his name, new scenes featuring B movie mainstay Brian Donlevy, and recutting of the existing footage, Gammera hit the American shores in 1966 and captured the imagination of kids and geeks everywhere.

Trivia Quiz

Who was the first giant monster to trash cinematic Tokyo?

A: King Kong (in 1933)

B: Gigan (in 1953)

C: Godzilla (in 1954)

D: Gadzooke (in 1956)

Answer: C. Godzilla, the original stomper of Tokyo landmarks, breathed his first gout of flame in 1954.

PRODUCERS
Bill Borden, David Hung, Zhonglei Wang, and Hai Cheng Zhao (executive producers), Stephen Chow, Po Chu Chui, and Jeffrey Lau (producers)

WRITERS
Stephen Chow, Xin Huo, Chan Man Keung, and Kan-Cheung Tsang

DIRECTOR
Stephen Chow

STARS
Stephen Chow (
Sing
), Danny Chan (
Brother Sum
), Wah Yuen (
Landlord
), Qiu Yuen (
Landlady
), Suet Lam (
Axe Gang Vice General
), and Siu-Lung Leung (
the Beast
)

In 1920s Shanghai, an underachieving con man and could-be martial artist (Chow) finds himself in the middle of a gaggle of kung fu masters and a final showdown with the brutal Axe Gang.

Why It Sucks

It has the feel of an old Shaw Bros. martial arts flick crossed with a Warner Bros. cartoon. Like all of writer/director/actor Stephen Chow's pictures, it leans heavily on Chinese pop cultural references for much of its humor. The silliness translates to an international audience, but many of the actual jokes do not. Still, if you enjoy over-the-top action scenes, this might be for you.

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