Winter’s Awakening (19 page)

But that stumble finally helped Gretta understand things about her parents. Once, there had been someone else in her mother’s life. For some reason, she’d lost that man and had settled on her father. A good man, but a man who she’d always had a cantankerous relationship with.

And so all her hopes and excitement had frozen over time. Beth’s death had only made things worse. They’d had no powerful love to overcome the tragedy.

As they stared at each other, Gretta felt sorry for her mother. It had to be difficult to be married to someone who wasn’t the love of her life.

But seeing her disappointments only encouraged Gretta to follow her heart. And that person who’d claimed it was still Joshua Graber. Yes, their relationship might not be placid and calm like the still waters in summer. It might be rough and bumpy—but there would be love there. And that love for him would see her through many a difficult situation.

“I’m going to see to the rest of the laundry,” she said, though there really wasn’t much laundry to see to.

She turned away and went back downstairs. Feeling that her resolve had been uplifted. “Thank you, Father,” she murmured. “Thank you for helping me see the light.”

Gretta was still contemplating her mother’s words the next day when she arrived at work. To her surprise, Lilly Allen was already there.

She had a bucket and a washrag in her hands and was scrubbing the top of each of the tables in earnest.

“You’re here early,” Gretta said. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine. Mrs. Kent told me I could put in a few extra hours this week if I didn’t mind doing a few things like washing tables or cleaning out the bakery case.” Still bent over a table, Lilly popped her head up for a moment to meet Gretta’s eyes before returning to the spot she was scrubbing. “I told her I wasn’t too picky about what I did. I need to save as much money as I can right now.”

“For the baby.” Gretta immediately felt shamed. Lately, she’d been so wrapped up in her problems that she’d forgotten that Lilly was shouldering a great many burdens of her own.

Straightening up, Lilly rubbed her back and stretched. “Yep. Things are still pretty rocky at home. I want to take on as much of the costs as possible.”

“That will be difficult, I think. Babies and children are expensive. Especially for a single mother.”

With a little chuckle, Lilly looked at her wryly. “Sometimes you take my breath away, you can be so blunt. But, you’re right. It’s going to be really hard.”

“Maybe your old…”
Oh, how did one say it?
“Your boyfriend could help a bit?”

“I don’t think he’s going to do that. I mean, I don’t think he will anymore. By the way, his name was Alec.” Smiling again, she said, “I’m sorry, I’m not very good at explaining things, am I? His name still is Alec. I’m just not his girlfriend anymore.”

“Does he live back in Cleveland?”

“Yes.”

Even though there was much to do, Gretta sat down at one of the tables. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out,” she said. And to her surprise, she realized that was true. It would be a terribly difficult thing to be facing a future with a baby.

Pulling out a chair, Lilly sat down and faced her. “I’m sorry about it, too. Well, I’m sorry that he wasn’t the right person for me,” she said. “I’m not sorry he and I are
through. Of course, it’s not the only thing that I wish hasn’t happened.” Folding the rag in front of her, she added, “It’s been a really crazy time, I have to tell you that.

Gretta felt sorry for Lilly, though a bit of her conscience warred with that pity. In some ways, this Lilly was the picture of every English person some of the more vocal gossips in the community warned youngsters about. She was pregnant and not even attached to the baby’s father.

But truthfully, Gretta wasn’t too shocked. Even among the Amish some couples married suddenly and had a baby in less than nine months’ time. She couldn’t pretend that not waiting for marriage vows was only an
Englischer
problem.

Lilly continued. “At first, dealing with everyone’s disapproval was really hard. I’ve always tried to do the right thing, so I wasn’t used to people commenting on my actions in a bad way. But then I realized I’d been hoping for Alec to have qualities he was never going to possess—like maturity and compassion.” Lilly hopped up out of her chair and started scrubbing tables again. “Anyway, what’s been hard is making decisions that will affect the rest of my life. I haven’t known whether to keep the baby myself and raise him or her on my own, or give it up for adoption. It’s been scary.”

“I would have been scared, too.”

“I’ve been trying to come to terms with how I might feel a year from now. Or two. Or ten.” Shaking her
head, Lilly soaked the washrag in the bucket, wrung it out, then walked to another table and scrubbed. “I’m sorry. You asked how I was doing and I told you my whole life story. Sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” Gretta said, realizing that she meant every word of what she was saying. “Just because I’m Amish doesn’t mean I haven’t had my share of difficult times.”

Lilly’s eyes widened. “I suppose you’re right.”

“We don’t know what the Lord plans for us and sometimes it’s terribly hard to guess what the right path is.”

“Did you ever make your decision?”

“Yes. But nothing’s settled, so old doubts and worries keep returning.” She looked at the clock. “I suppose it’s time for me to get to work, too.”

Lilly’s eyes warmed. “You know, Gretta, when we first met, I was sure we’d have nothing in common. But maybe we’re not so different as I first thought.”

“I’d like us to be friends, if we could,” Gretta ventured shyly.

“I’d love that. Thanks, you know, for listening.”

“It was no trouble. And you helped me, too. I promise you did. Now I really must get to work or Mrs. Kent will come in to find things not how they should be…and our noon customers will be having no cinnamon rolls neither.”

“Oh, those cinnamon rolls are heavenly. Save one for me, would you?”

“Of course,” Gretta said before leaving the dining
room and entering the kitchen. Once there, she found herself smiling. Things did work in peculiar ways, that was for sure. This morning, she’d just made a friend out of someone who she’d at first worried was her enemy.

And in doing so, she learned a bit about herself, too.

Just as everyone who’d visited the store had warned, a large winter storm descended on Sugarcreek and seemed content to visit there for a while.

Over the course of one day, thick fluffy flakes turned to small specks of snow, which turned to pellets of ice and freezing rain, then back to ice again.

The wind picked up and the temperatures dropped.

And still the storm continued. Ice blasted the power lines leading to the building across the street.

From his spot near the window, Josh called out to Caleb, “Go make sure the gas-powered generators are ready to go, will ya? I have a feeling the ice is going to shut everything down. This street might go dark even earlier than anyone’s predicting.”

For once Caleb looked like he was taking his older brother’s words seriously. “I checked them a little bit ago, but I’ll go right now to inspect them again. I’ll look
in on the horses, too. If the weather gets worse, the horses are going to have to stay the night. The icy roads could put them in danger.”

“That’s a fine idea,” Joshua said with some relief. He really needed Caleb’s help. For once, it looked like he was going to get it, too.

But there was still something else he needed to take care of. “Listen, I have to leave for a little bit.”

“Leave? What are you going to do?”

“I need to run down the street and check on Gretta. I heard she’s working today.”

“But I bet she’s just fine there. There’s plenty of work here to do first, don’t you think? Surely Gretta can wait.”

“I don’t think she can,” Joshua replied. There was a knot inside of him that couldn’t be ignored. Even if they were not destined to be together, she mattered to him. When she was happy, he was. And there was no way he was going to breathe easy if she was sitting alone at the restaurant in the dark. But he wasn’t ready to tell Caleb all that—it felt too personal. “Just check on the generators and check the aisles for stray customers. I think most of our last-minute shoppers have left, but you can never be too sure.”

“I’ll check. But hurry, would you?”

“I’ll do my best.”

Throwing on his hat, Joshua left through the back of the store and kept his head down as he battled his way down the sidewalk. One hand always needed to stay on top of his head, keeping his hat secure. His other held his coat together.

The short walk up the street seemed terribly long. The wind bit through his cheeks as he took care to watch his footing on the slippery surface.

Around him, only a few cars and trucks were visible. Those that were seemed to be having a difficult time of it, too. They slid and fishtailed through intersections, grinding gears and jerking to stops. Store after store was dark. Signs had been posted on most of the other front doors that they’d closed early because of the bad weather. Even though he’d wanted to stay open late to help anyone who needed a necessity, perhaps he should have done the same thing.

Then he arrived at the Sugarcreek Inn. To his dismay, the sign at the door still read Open and a few lights illuminated the dining area. After trying the handle, he noticed it wasn’t locked. Gingerly, he twisted the handle and pulled the door open. “Gretta?” he called out. “Gretta, are ya here?”

He pulled the door open wider. The wind was so strong, it felt as if the door might blow off its hinges.

“Oh! Joshua?”

After turning and forcing the door shut, Joshua faced her.

Gretta was standing near the window, her cloak and black bonnet already on. She looked worried and afraid. But what really took his breath away was the look she gave him. Her eyes went liquid and her whole body sighed. Truthfully, she looked so relieved that Joshua felt like the most powerful man in Sugarcreek.

“Gretta, it’s mighty bad weather out today.”

“It is.” Frowning out the window, she murmured, “The skies are so gray, I don’t think it’s going to stop anytime soon.”

Then she turned to him. “Joshua, whatever are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at the store?”

“I was worried about you. There’s no way I could stay in the store without checking up on you. Without making sure that you were safe.”

Her chin went up a notch. “That was kind of you, but I am okay.”

“Are you by yourself? Where’s everyone else?”

“Miriam never came in today. Lilly didn’t either. Mrs. Kent left early to run a few errands, but said she would come back around four or so and get me. My parents can’t come—the weather’s much too bad to take out a buggy.”

He was glad he’d listened to his conscience and had come to check on her. “I’d like you to come to the store with me and Caleb.”

“That’s not necessary. I’ll be fine.” Looking out the window she murmured, “I’ll just wait for Mrs. Kent to get back.”

She was still so unsure around him. Well, he supposed he couldn’t blame her. Things had been hot and cold between them during the last few weeks. So much so, that he was never sure how to act around her anymore either.

“I don’t know if that will be too easy for Mrs. Kent to do. Everyone says that the roads are bad and that cars are sliding off the road. A few branches have fallen onto
the streets, too. The weight of the ice on them is making them break like the smallest of twigs. So the streets are blocked as well.”

She bit her lip. “It is worse than I thought.”

“Much worse. Listen, I don’t want you to stay here by yourself. I won’t be able to focus on my work, worrying after you here all alone. Please, I’d like to take you over to the store.”

“How is that better?”

“At least you won’t be alone.” He wanted to mention that at least they’d be together. And that he could comfort her if she got scared. That he’d make sure she would be fine, no matter what. But he didn’t. He was afraid that would spook her. “Will you let me take you?”

She nibbled her bottom lip. “But how will I let Mrs. Kent know that I’ve left?”

“Why don’t I give her a call? She has a cell phone, yes?”

Pure relief filled her expression though her words were far different. “Yes, but…”

“Please, Gretta? It will make everything easier.”

“You don’t have to worry—”

“I can’t help but worry about you. Because I care about your safety…about you…”

“Truly?” Her blue eyes looked translucent, she was staring at him with such hope.

He nodded. “Gretta, I will feel so much happier if you are nearby. And, I’d like to be with you, too.”

“All right. I don’t want to argue anyway.” With a determined expression, Gretta strode to the phone, picked up the receiver, and punched in the numbers. “Mrs. Kent?
Yes, this is Gretta. Joshua Graber is here, he’s going to walk me to their store to wait out the storm.”

Josh watched as she listened intently to whatever her boss was saying. As he watched, it occurred to him that her ability to listen closely was one of the things he admired about her. She was a good listener.

Now he called himself a fool for underestimating her strengths. Gretta was the type of woman who worked well with others and listened to what they had to say. She was able to stand in the background and let others be the center of attention.

Many times, she’d quietly encouraged him but never took any credit for jobs well done.

And he’d taken it for granted.

She hung up. “I guess it’s all settled, then.” Turning to him, she lightly placed her hand on his arm. “Oh, Joshua, you were right. Mrs. Kent was happy I called. She said in the last hour she’d only gone one mile in her car!”

Still conscious of her touch, Joshua fought to listen to her words. This was the first time in weeks that she’d reached out to him. It was all he could do to not cover her hand with his own. “So…she’s going to go home?”

“
Jah
. Well, as best she can. Tree limbs are everywhere. She said she’ll be glad to know I’m with you, so she can go back home. I just have to lock things up.”

Stepping away, she pulled out her ring of keys.

“Do you have any idea of how we can get a hold of your parents? I don’t want them to worry.”

After thinking a moment, Gretta said, “Perhaps your
neighbor friend Mr. Allen could stop by? Lilly said her father passes our home on his way from work.”

Thinking quickly, Joshua called the Allen’s home. Mrs. Allen was happy to speak to him, but had a nest of worries on her own. Their power was out…and the last she’d heard from Charlie was that he was stuck in one of the side streets in town. “When he called, he said he was two blocks from your store, Joshua. I hope he made it.”

“He wasn’t there when I left, but Caleb is. If he shows up, Caleb will let him in, then I’ll ask Charlie to give you a call right away.”

“Oh, thank you.”

“I’m happy to help. But actually, I called because I’m needin’ a favor myself. I’m taking Gretta over to the store. Is there any way Mr. Allen could stop by and pay her parents a visit and let them know Gretta’s safe at the store?” Quickly he told Mrs. Allen Gretta’s address. “I think he passes her house on his way home from work. I don’t want them to worry.”

“You’re right, Josh. Scott does drive right past the Hershberger home. I’ll call him right now and ask him to stop by and relay the news. Consider it done.”

“Mr. Allen’s going to visit your folks,” Josh murmured to Gretta.

She heaved a sigh of relief. “Oh! Please tell her thank you.”

Smiling at the girl next to him, he dutifully said, “Gretta says thank you.”

“You tell her that she’s very welcome,” Mrs. Allen re
plied. “Now you all be careful, and please don’t forget to have Charlie call, would you?”

Now it was Joshua’s turn to be reassuring. “I’ll have him call you right away. And don’t worry about us. We’ll all be fine. We’ve got a generator for heat and lots of food, of course. Would you pass that news onto my folks, too?”

“I’ll send Lilly right over. Thank you so much, Joshua.”

Joshua hung up. “I, for one, am very grateful for the kindness of friends. Between us all, we’ll get everyone informed of our whereabouts.”

Smiling, Gretta said, “I’m so glad Mr. Allen will stop by my home. I know my parents would have been very concerned if I hadn’t come home.”

“It will be all right, Gretta. I don’t want you ever to be afraid.”

A thread of vulnerability shone in her eyes before she blinked it away. With a smile she said, “You know, most Amish don’t care for phones and such, but it’s times like these when I thank the good Lord for such inventions.”

“I feel the same way.”

“We best get going now. Caleb is alone at the store. Others might have joined him by now.”

After checking the back doors, Gretta followed Joshua outside. The wind that greeted her blew her skirts around her ankles.

When the lock stuck, Joshua carefully placed his hand over hers and helped to turn the key. Then he held out his hand.

Please take it
, he silently offered.
Please take my hand and walk by my side.

After a moment’s hesitation, Gretta slipped her hand in his and stepped close. Though the temperature was frigid and the wind and ice felt like pinpricks on his skin, Joshua suddenly felt as if he was warmer. He’d missed her. He’d missed this—this feeling of contentment. Of knowing who he should be next to, who he should be walking near.

“Together, it is as if we are both able to fight the weather,” Gretta said from his side. “Alone, it was too much.”

“Yes.”

Gretta was right. Alone, everything had felt too hard and confusing.

Of course, he now realized that he wasn’t alone anymore at all. No, to his relief, he felt as if his other hand was firmly contained too.

The good Lord was guiding them to safety. To safety and to each other.

Joshua knew he had never been more grateful.