The Rules of Supervillainy (The Supervillainy Saga Book 1) (20 page)

Behind them was the Red Schoolgirl, a wild-eyed and haired Japanese girl in a black sailor fuku holding a Muramasa katana which continually dripped blood. Her hair was in Chinese bunches with ribbons hanging down the side. There were rumors the Red Schoolgirl was insane and no one knew if she was a hero or a villain. Beside her was the Human Tank, a bulky-grey-camouflage-colored metal-armored villain rarely seen out of her suit. The Human Tank was one of my brother’s old cronies from New Angeles. She was a dull, serious woman who didn’t talk too much from my recollection. It had taken me
years
to realize she was a woman.

“
She transitioned during your childhood
.”

“Oh, now I feel like a jackass,” I replied.

There was no sign of the ‘she’ who Selena might be referring to, though. None of these people knew me from Adam. Hell, Selena was more likely to help me out and we
hated
each other.

Stepping out from behind the others was a figure I recognized all too well. She was short, as short as Mandy, but muscular with long dark hair she kept in a ponytail behind her. The woman was about my age, pretty albeit not like the selection of supermodels which seem to be oh-so-common around here. Frankly, I preferred the muscled look and there was something familiar about her in addition to her being the third most famous superheroine in the world.

Ultragoddess.

Ultragoddess was an olive-skinned Afro-Hispanic woman with a gold and white costume reminiscent of Ultragod’s but altered to include a short skirt over bare legs and thigh-high boots. Given Ultragoddess was invulnerable to anything short of a nuclear warhead there wasn’t much point in worrying about her legs. At one point, I recalled she’d even tried a midriff-bearing version of it but switched back after the already-prevalent cat calls had switched to outright obscenities.

Ultragoddess was, in many ways, the heroine of my generation. Not only was she the daughter of the world’s most powerful superhero and his rejuvenated bride, civil rights attorney Polly Pratchett, but she’d grown up with us. We’d seen her as Ultragirl, Ultrateen, and even the ill-fated Ultranater in the Nineties. The media had tried to turn her into their perfect paragon, like their father, and I’d always gotten the impression it had made her mad as hell. Part of that was Gabrielle’s constant stream of chatter to that effect.

Wait...Gabrielle.

I felt my head as it seemed a bunch of memories were trying to come back at once. Forcing them to the surface, I lifted up my fingers and tried to imagine a pair of glasses and a blonde wig on her head. I remember long nights with my Xbox, pizza, and her. I remembered the investigations we’d done into all the local superheroines and crime. I remembered how she insisted on making love in the dark. How she’d been the first girl I’d ever said I love you to. The only one other than Mandy.

Oh God.

My eyes widened.

“Hello, Gary,” Ultragoddess said, looking down. “Long time no see.”

“Gabby?” I whispered.

All the immense joy, happiness, and (let’s be honest) love I felt for her was drowned out by the staggering amount of
anger
I felt. “YOU BRAINWASHED ME INTO FORGETTING YOUR SECRET IDENTITY?”

“
Gary, calm down
.”

“Don’t you tell me to calm down!” I shouted at my cloak.

“Who is he talking to?” the Red Schoolgirl asked in Japanese.

“His magical cloak,” General Venom said. “They contain the souls of their dead users.”

“Cool!” the Red Schoolgirl said. “Like my katana.”

“You just
think
it’s haunted,” General Venom said.

Gabrielle blanched before looking to one side. “I’m sorry, Gary, I truly am. I realized after you were kidnapped that I was putting you in danger by our association. I could stand anything the supervillains of the world could do to me but I wasn’t willing to risk your life. I’d break if anything happened to you. I had to make a choice. I chose to serve the world. I heard you got married in the meantime. I hope you’re very happy.”

I shook with outrage. “This is not about you! This is about trust! This is about basic decency! How could you?”

The Red Schoolgirl zoomed with an inhuman speed underneath me, holding her blade next to my throat. “Do not speak to
sempai
like that.”

That was when a gigantic Ultra-Force hand grabbed the Red Schoolgirl in a fist then slapped her up against the side of the wall.

Ultragoddess’ voice narrowed. “Do.Not.Touch.Him.”

The Bronze Medalist snorted. “Girl, one of the first things I learned about relationships was don’t you ever try and get in between an argument with lovers. They will chew you up and spit you out.”

“I get that,” the Red Schoolgirl said in a squeaky voice. “Can’t breathe.”

Ultragoddes dismissed the giant hand. “I’m sorry, Motoko, but this is none of your business.”

I felt the sides of my head, a migraine coming on. “Words cannot express how pissed off I am. I am going to have to invent a new word to explain how angry I am.
Karflagled
. I am so karflagled off at you right now!”

“See, this is why I date men. Less drama,” the Bronze Medalist said, pointing at me.

“You don’t have a right to complain, Gary,” the Black Witch said. “You went off and got married a few months later. Not exactly much room to reconcile.”

Gabrielle took a deep breath. “I may have encouraged him to find happiness for himself.”

The Black Witch’s eyes widened.

“Cloak, tell me that I wasn’t brainwashed into finding Mandy,” I said, my voice pleading.

“
No, you were just desperate and emotionally vulnerable from my examination of your memories. Surprisingly charming, though. I think it helped she was coming off a bad breakup herself
.”

“Thank God,” I muttered.

“SO THIS IS YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND?” The Human Tank said in a robotic synthesized voice.

“Sort of,” Gabrielle said, looking up to me. “We were engaged for like a minute. That was sort of a crisis point.”

I remembered the ring now. I’d forgotten I’d bought it and wondered where all my savings had gone. She’d kept it, it seemed. I then noticed a tiny ring-shaped bulge hanging from inside her costume around her neck.

I shook my head. “Listen, Gabby, we
will
talk about this but we have a lot of stuff going on, right now.”

“HEY, WATCH IT WITH THE SECRET IDENTITY,” the Human Tank said. “SHE’S VERY SENSETIVE ABOUT THAT.”

“No kidding!” I snapped.

“We know it, though,” General Venom said.

“Who are you people, anyway?” I asked, looking around the three. “I know who you all are, obviously, but I’m surprised to see you working together.”

Gabrielle sighed and put her hands on her hips. “We’re the Shadow Seven.”

I stared at her. “Running a blank here.”

“Because it’s a
secret
team,” General Venom said. “A group of mixed heroes and villains who run missions for the Society of Superheroes off the books against corrupt organizations which can’t be legally fought.”

I sputtered. “Superheroes can’t be anti-establishment!”

“
I confess, that is awfully shady,”
Cloak said, concerned.
“Combined with this Star Chamber-esque court, extraordinary rendition, off-world prison, and so on—I can’t help but feel the Society is losing its way
.”

“That’s not what I mean! You’re stealing the whole point of being a supervillain!” I had never been more offended in my life.

“Gary, are you a supervillain?” Gabrielle asked, horrified.

“Uh...kind of?”

“Ha-ha-ha!” the Black Witch laughed, grabbing her face. “Oh this is
priceless
.”

“What did you do?” Bronze Medalist asked.

I felt queasy. “I killed the Extreme. All of them.”

There was a shocked silence and the Shadow Seven exchanged glances. Then everyone, except Gabrielle, started clapping.

Tough crowd.

Gabrielle stared at me, not condemning but concerned. “Gary, the Extreme did a lot of black operations for various governments. Horrible but necessary things for a lot of very important people. They’re going to find you and throw you in a hole.”

“As opposed to the hole your father threw me in,” I said, sarcastically.

“The Extreme were monsters,” the Black Witch said. “They murdered Sally Arcane and god knows how many others.”

“They were—” General Venom started to say.

“You don’t get to speak,” the Black Witch said.

I paused, realizing something. “Wait a damned minute; I saw about half of you coming in to the prison. You were all locked up.”

“Well, not all of us,” the Bronze Medalist said. “I get to chill out in N.A. when not saving the world.”

“We watch the others in the prison for trouble in-between missions,” the Black Witch said. “Obviously, we were doing a piss-poor job.”

I was appalled. They were
prison snitches
. How could Gabrielle have fallen so far to employ such?

“
Your sense of morality is decidedly warped
.”

“
Hello...Supervillain
.”

Cloak sighed.

“Also, why are you the Shadow Seven?” I asked. “There’re only six of you.”

“On our last mission, Exsanguinator was possessed by a demon the Dark Undermaster summoned. It forced him to kill his family and we were forced to kill him. Gabby drove an Ultraforce stake through his heart then made a lamp which conjured real sunlight to destroy him,” the Red Schoolgirl said, looking back at her.

“It is a reminder how dangerous the battle against evil can be,” General Venom said. “Those who commit crimes may laugh at the righteous and exchange derisive glances but in the future it will be the righteous who laugh last.”

“I don’t think you get to claim righteousness after forty years of domestic terrorism,” I said, shaking my head. “Why are you with this guy?”

“To save lives,” Gabrielle said, looking at the Decontamination area then back at me. “Do you know the situation?”

“
He does
,” Cloak said, volunteering me. “
He’s also happy to help get it under control
.”

I grimaced. I wasn’t eager to make an enemy of Tom Terror but I wasn’t about to deny them either.

“I can’t offer you a pardon for multiple murders,” Gabrielle said, staring. “A lot of the Society of Superheroes believe the Extreme were heroes and deserving of our protection, even if I think they undermined everything they stood for. I will, however, help you get away, if you agree to assist us. There’re thousands of noncombatants here in Avalon, and the idiots rioting have released things of which they can’t possibly understand the dangers.”

“Oh, someone understands the danger,” I said, looking at her. “Everyone else is expendable.”

“Tom Terror,” Gabrielle hissed. “He is the only person I would break the first rule of superheroism for.”

“Gabrielle, are you sure this is a good idea?” the Black Witch stuck her thumb out at me. “I know this guy as well as you. He couldn’t kill time. I can’t believe he killed the Extreme.”

“Things change,” I said, then grit my teeth. “I’m not exactly operating at my best, though, since my powers are being suppressed.”

Gabrielle nodded. “Computer, authorize ambient magical energy field withdrawal for prisoner Gary Karkofsky. Code: Ketra-18.”

“Authorization granted,” the computer’s voice said.

Like someone was removing a blindfold from my eyes, I felt the power of the Reaper’s Cloak return to me. My head filled with all manner of mystical information which I didn’t even realize had been downloaded into my subconscious. Conjuring a snowball in one hand and a ball of fire in my other, I made then dissipate before nodding to them. “Okay, I promise to help you save this place. Just so we’re clear, though, I’m only doing it because you returned my powers to me and not at all because I think a universe without the Society of Superheroes would scarcely be worth thinking about.”

“Okay...” Gabrielle trailed off, confused.

“I have to preserve my supervillain credibility,” I said, putting my hand over my heart.

“WHO ACTUALLY SELF-IDENTIFIES AS A SUPERVILLAIN?” The Human Tank said. “THAT’S LIKE CLAIMING YOU’RE EVIL.”

“I am evil,” I said, smiling. “The wickedest of the wicked. Everyone is hero of their own story but me, who is most certainly the villain protagonist.”

“You do realize the whole Fraternity of Supervillains thing is meant to be ironic, right?” General Venom asked.

“I don’t think he does,” the Red Schoolgirl said.

“We’ve wasted enough time,” Gabrielle said, gesturing with her head down the hall. “Gary, you take the front with me.”

“I do not see what Mandy sees in you,” the Black Witch muttered.

“I am a fantastic lover,” I said.

The Black Witch looked over at Gabrielle.

Gabrielle stared back daggers.

The Black Witch took position in the rear, deciding it’d be better to get as far away from her as possible.

I decided to ask one of them about the decision, not wanting to talk to Gabrielle just yet. “Bronze Medalist—”

“I actually won two gold medals and one bronze. Yet, for some reason, they call me Bronze Medalist. Can you guess why?”

“Uh—”

“It’s because people think of getting the bronze medal as losing. Which is ridiculous. It means two people in the world are faster than I at track and field. Two. I think that’s something to be proud of.”

“Yes!” I said, grimacing. “I agree!”

“
You realize he’s playing with you, right
?” Cloak said.

“Not going to risk it,” I whispered. “I don’t suppose anyone is going to tell me what is going on?”

Gabrielle led me down a hall to an observation deck which showed the main part of Avalon, the miniature city outside the temple where the majority of the citizenry lived in addition to the heroes. The place was presently under attack by two gigantic creatures which would give H.P. Lovecraft nightmares.

The first was made of countless corpses sewn together and fused into a hideous vaguely humanoid form, the corpses all still animated with the souls of the damned and depraved who were forced to serve as the monster’s host body for all time as their punishment.

The second being was a construct composed of monstrous eyes formed into a whip-like tentacle which reflected horrific atrocities from all the world’s various wars and genocides, things I felt a brief experience of looking at it before glancing away.

They were flinging out spells and grabbing up citizens to add to their nightmarish frames. It was as if someone had combined a vision of the Inferno with a Godzilla movie.

My response was succinct. “What.The.Hell.”

Gabrielle crossed her arms. “Gog and Magog.”

“The monsters from the Torah?” I said, staring.

“Yes,” Gabrielle said, staring. “Nephilim born of Azazel and imprisoned in Hell after the Spiritual Flood. They’re just some of the many horrors from the Old Testament summoned by the Devil King to vex the Society. These two will not stop until they have killed everyone here and then they will descend upon the Earth, with or without gear to transport them.”

I stared at him. “Tom Terror unleashed this as a distraction too.”

“Yes,” Gabrielle said. “He infiltrated P.H.A.N.T.O.M agents into the staff as well as corrupt ones to get many of his followers their equipment. These things will kill the Earth’s people if they can, but Tom will gladly turn the world into ashes if it means he can be king of them.”

“What about the other heroes?” I asked.