The Rules of Supervillainy (The Supervillainy Saga Book 1) (24 page)

“Has there been anyone else for you?” I asked, hoping she’d found some measure of love and affection since our breakup.

“I almost married a space prince of the Thran Empire.”

“Oh, really?” I asked, surprised and pleased. A little bit jealous, too, since human emotions are messy complicated things.

“Yeah, it turned out he was actually a robot constructed by Emperor Tyranax to seduce me so I could have my brain removed and replaced with a computer after the wedding.”

“Ah,” I said, not sure how to react, and really annoyed with the slight bit of pleasure I got from that. “That’s terrible.”

“Yeah, it was, but the sex was good.”

I blinked, then gestured over my shoulder to the residential quarters. “Okay, then. I think I’ll just be going then.”

Gabrielle stopped me by taking my arm, she turned me around and gave me a short kiss on the lips. She looked at me, then down at the ground. Ashamed of herself. “I’m sorry.”

I stared at her, then started walking away much faster. I didn’t say any parting words to her and hated myself for it. In the distance, on another rooftop, I saw the Black Witch. She was standing next to a laundromat’s neon sign which read, “We Do Capes.” The Black Witch was far away but I knew she was watching me and had probably seen everything. Given she was a witch, she’d probably heard everything too. I could only imagine her feelings.

I probably agreed with them all.

“
You should tell your wife about this encounter
,” Cloak said.

“No kidding,” I said, levitating away. I was fully charged now and didn’t feel in the least bit worried about using my abilities. “I’m sure she’ll understand.”

“
Oh
?”

“See? I’m getting better at lying to you all the time.”

The residential quarters were, bluntly, a mess.

You’d think the majority of supervillains in a riot would be interested in getting their freedom and would go about in some manner of orderly fashion of doing so: they’d take hostages, go for the hangar bay, seize the teleporters, or even arm themselves. Plenty of them did, don’t get me wrong, but a staggering number of them made a b-line right for the rooms of the Society’s heroes.

Given a choice between freedom and the slight chance they could catch their enemies sleeping so they could murder them, they chose the latter at least half the time. As such, the residential area looked like, well, a riot had gone on in it.

There were regular intervals of bodies, mostly janitorial staff and maintenance personnel. People murdered for no other reason than the majority of heroes didn’t actually live on New Avalon. It was like a Fireman’s Station, really. People kept their stuff here but no one actually wanted to take up permanent residence.

Plenty of rooms had been forced open and it was interesting to see the temporary quarters of Earth’s finest. A few of them were easy to recognize at a glance like ones filled with Egyptian-themed stage magician paraphernalia, medieval weaponry, baseball trophies, and so on. I won’t lie to you, I broke away from my escape to search through several of them. I stole a mint condition autographed Babe Ruth trading card, a copy of
Action Comics
1#, the copy of the Declaration of Independence given to the Society at the time of writing, and the Hand of Infinity.

Which I’m fairly sure should have had better security.

“
I can’t believe you just risked your life to save this place and now you’re taking time to rob the Society
,” Cloak said, genuinely appalled.

“Why does it surprise you?”

“
I’m saddened I have no answer to that
.”

“I’m just glad the cloak has extradimensional pockets. This opens so many interesting new opportunities.”

Ultragoddess hadn’t been kidding about the fact the security systems were down and I was permitted damned near everywhere. There were a couple of survivors I chanced upon but I just turned intangible and walked through them. Weirdly, this resulted in the majority confusing me for the Nightwalker and the rest just left confused. Which was fine by me. I didn’t want to hurt anybody and I was well and truly
done
with this place.

“Now, where is Ultragod’s room,” I muttered, disliking the fact the maps weren’t labeled in the residential area.

“
Gary, we should talk about that deal you made with Death
.”

“Where I more or less pledged my body and soul?”

“
Yes, that one
.”

“It’s a bit late to worry about that now, isn’t it?”

“All magicians who want to proceed past the earliest levels of magic must have a supernatural patron to provide them with access to greater supernatural resources: angels, demons, gods, Great Beasts, or Elder Ones. To gain the highest levels of sorcery, one must humble oneself tremendously and become less of an instrument of your own will than a tool or avatar of your divinity.”

“Yeah, it works like clerical magic in
Lances and Labyrinths
. I get that.”

I could hear Cloak clench his nonexistent teeth. “...
yeah, okay, let’s go with that. That fire you created back there? The magic you unleashed? That is only available to the most powerful servants of Death. The ones who are living avatars of her will
.”

“So, you’re saying I’m awesome?”

“
I’m saying
she shouldn’t have given you that
.”

“But she did and I’m grateful.”

“There will be a price. You need to be prepared for it. Death gives nothing away for free and to save one today is to lose everything tomorrow.”

“I’ll give everything of myself. I’m not afraid.”

“
You
—”

“Please don’t say I should be. That’s so damned cliché.”

“
Fine
.”

I didn’t get a chance to say anything more because I saw a glowing psionic boomerang coming straight at my head.

“Crap!” I said, jumping out of the way, only to have my right arm cut at the shoulder. It wasn’t bad but it hurt like hell.

That was when I saw Psychoslinger step out from one of the nearby rooms. “You left me to die, Merciless. That was very rude!”

I thought he did die! I, immediately, retaliated by unleashing a fireball about a dozen times larger than the tiny ones I usually unleashed. It was closer to using a flame thrower than before, but my sheer hatred for the man gave me a boost.

The flames washed over Psychoslinger with to no-effect.

Well, crap.

“Nothing to say? That makes it worse!” Psychoslinger shouted. “I mean, if I wasn’t able to reconstitute myself from death due to being a psionic being then I might actually have died for good! Which would have sucked.”

He started hurling more boomerangs, not really aiming but trying to make me jump up and down. I turned insubstantial for good measure but when another grazed my leg, I ended up hitting the ground from the injury. It seemed Psychoslinger could penetrate my intangibility too.

Way, way too many bad guys could do that.

“
Tell me about it
,” Cloak muttered. “
It made my power flat-out useless at times
.”

“Not helping!” I shouted.

I switched to ice, this time, freezing Psychoslinger’s legs to the ground, then his arms, and then covered his entire body in a gigantic block of the stuff like the Chillingsworths often did. Psychoslinger then disappeared from inside it and appeared outside of the ice block, unharmed. I blinked, wondering if he could teleport or if he could just regenerate himself that fast. Either way, this was getting worse all the time.

“I am getting really-really upset!” Psychoslinger shouted, lifting up his fingers and pointing like they were hand-guns. “Pew-pew-pew!”

I almost laughed even as psionic bullets shot out of them and exploded against the wall behind me. He wasn’t aiming at me this time, otherwise he could have taken me out. Even so, I used my insubstantiality to move underneath the ground and behind him. I should have run away, but hindsight is twenty-twenty.

I prepared to try to put something in his head when Psychoslinger spun around and conjured a psionic bat he clocked me in the head with. It would have killed me if not for the durability the cloak provided, but it still hurt like hell. He then kicked me, struck me in the chest with his bat, and then hit me again across the back for good measure. I hit the ground like a sack of potatoes.

That was when Psychoslinger grabbed me by the hood of my cloak and held a psionic shiv to my throat. I found, much to my surprise, I couldn’t turn insubstantial while he held it. However the supervillain had gotten his superpowers, I had to give him credit. He’d won the superpower lottery. He was not only immune to everything I could throw at him but effectively immortal.

“No one is immortal,” Cloak whispered. “Remember how you controlled him last time!”

I questioned Cloak’s definition of control but it seemed Psychoslinger was a pathologically impulsive manchild, and that gave me some insight into handling him. “All right, all right. You pass the damned test.”

“Test?” Psychoslinger said, snorting.

“To join the Fraternity of Supervillains, obviously,” I said, sighing bored. “Tom Terror set up the whole business with the Deathmonger. I was to see how you dealt with it, whether you attempted to finish the mission, and then gage how you reacted to the perception of betrayal. Congratulations, you passed. Albeit, you took longer than I expected to get here.”

“Bullcrap!” Psychoslinger hissed, showing the first sign of genuine anger I’d seen from him.

“Oh, come on, Psychoslinger, did you really think it’d be that easy?” I said, sighing. “You’re here, though, which shows you’ve got some initiative.”

It was a ridiculous assertion, except for the fact Tom Terror wasn’t exactly known for his fatherly treatment of subordinates. He was a terrible boss, one of the worst, yet people kept flocking back to him. I had the suspicion it was because supervillains were like pack animals and flocked to the biggest source of power they could perceive.

“I don’t believe you,” Psychoslinger said, sounding conflicted. “I think I’ll carve the truth out of you.”

“Fine by me,” I said, showing no fear.

Psychoslinger hesitated.

I’d ruined his buzz.

I pointed down the hall. “We’ve got a job to complete, though. Get the Power Nullifier, give it to Tom, kill Ultragod, and get out of here. After that, you could try to kill me but, let’s face it, Psychoslinger, would I really be this calm if I didn’t have an ace up my sleeve?”

Psychoslinger stared at me.

Then dropped me.

“You
were
in the archvillains wing,” Psychoslinger said, muttering. “I’ve been at this for years and they haven’t put me there. They say I’m a serial killer. Which is complete garbage. I am a SPREE KILLER and mass-murderer, dammit.”

“The Society gives no respect,” I said, getting up and dusting myself off. “Ready to go kill the world’s most powerful hero?”

“Hell yes!”

“Gary, where are you going with this?”
Cloak asked.

“
I have no idea
.”

Psychoslinger and I continued past the bodies of the dead New Avalon staff he’d created while searching for me, heading up a flight of stairs to a long hallway which ended in a single doorway. It was here our journey would end. According to Cloak, who was willing to help me in hopes of defeating Psychoslinger, this was Ultragod’s room. Walking up to the doorway, I saw a large metal box with a set of controls just to the left of the solid steel door.

It was the Society of Superheroes’ version of a common door lock, preventing anyone but authorized personnel from entering. I was authorized to move through this place with impunity but, apparently, that didn’t extend to Ultragod’s quarters. I wonder if he suspected his daughter might try and break her ex-boyfriend out of prison or if he’d just changed the locks recently.

Psychoslinger suggested we kidnap one of the local technicians and force him to open it for us, but I didn’t think that was the best option. Psychoslinger would kill any who helped us as soon as their usefulness ended and probably before.

I was tempted to turn myself in, but I hadn’t seen anyone yet who Psychoslinger couldn’t kill outright. Instead, I’d just let him direct me and done my best to keep us stealthy as I struggled to figure out a way to stop someone immune to my powers.

“
Will you help me here
?” I asked Cloak.

“
Follow my lead
,” Cloak replied. “S
tart by unscrewing the panel then…”

With that, he gave me precise instructions on how to hack the terminal. I worked for half an hour on hacking the terminal, finally bandaging two wires together which caused the door to open with a whoosh.

Psychoslinger stared at me. “That was brilliant! Where did you learn to do that?”

“I’m a mad scientist in addition to being a sorcerer. I have a secret fortress filled with android servants underneath the South Pole.”

“I want one of those!” Psychoslinger clapped his hands. It was like he
wasn’t
threatening to kill me in order to make me go along with his plans. “Tell me how!”

“Later,” I said, giving a dismissive wave before heading into Ultragod’s room.

The interior was a wonderland equal to the Night Tower. There were advanced-looking devices, alien artifacts, glass cases, and a number of statues which looked like they should belong in ancient Rome. It was bigger on the inside than on the outside—taking advantage of the “uncertain technological properties” available to the Society of Superheroes. A giant hologram of the galaxy hovered near the ceiling, generated by a number of glowing crystal pyramids at the base of the floor. Ultragod had an interesting sense of style.

“Amazing,” I whispered. “I need to take everything here.”

“
No
.”

“Oh hush.”

“This is boring,” Psychoslinger said. “I was hoping we’d get to see Ultragoddess. Killing Ultragod’s daughter would make me the most feared supervillain in the world. Well, you know, aside from you and Tom.” Great, now he was attempting to butter me up. The fact he was threatening to kill Gabrielle should have made me angry but I imagined Psychoslinger trying and it made me laugh. It amused me to think of the myriad ways Gabrielle would tear him apart. Unfortunately, she wasn’t here and I was left alone with the psychopath who outclassed me in every possible way. “Rule Number One.”

“
You could try killing him with your intangibility powers
,” Cloak said.

“
Let’s call that Plan B
,” I said back to him.

“
What’s Plan A
?” Cloak asked.

“
I’ll tell you when I think of it
,” I replied.

Psychoslinger threw up his hands in frustration. “Man, who knew being a supervillain could be such a drag. You know, I think I’m going to abandon them when I get back down to the Earth. I’m going to kill a bunch of superheroes, their families, and their dogs too.”

“Really? Their dogs?” I asked, disgusted.

“Okay, that may be going too far, but anything non-canine,” Psychoslinger surprised me by saying. Then again, psychopaths could often bond with animals more easily than with people, I’d read somewhere. It was the one quality which hinted they might be more than complete monsters.

Other psychos tortured animals just fine, too.

So maybe I was reaching.

“Let’s find the teleporter as it’s our chief priority,” I said. “After that, we can get the Power Nullifier.”

“
Smooth
.
He’ll never see through that plan
.
I’ve underestimated your skill as a criminal mastermind
.” I could
feel
the sarcasm.

“Sure!” Psychoslinger said.

I tried not to smile. Instead, I thought smug smart-alecky remarks at my cloak. “You were saying?”

“
I’m beginning to think I’ve overestimated the intelligence of the average supervillain
.”

“Supervillains are a cowardly and… something,” I said. “I forget the rest.”

“
Be wary
,” the Nightwalker said. “
Psychoslinger is likely to turn on you at any moment
.”

“No kidding.” I headed over to a device which looked like a set from the original Sixties
Star Trek
. “I think this is the teleporter. Either that or Ultragod is a friend of Gene Roddenberry.”

“You’re right,” a booming voice said above me.  “On both counts.”

I looked up at Ultragod, hovering a foot above my head, his cape trailing behind him.

“Well, crap.” I said, staring up at Ultragod. “Cloak, I’m about to get my butt kicked, aren’t I?”

“
Indeed
.”

Ultragod punched me through a set of glass display cases before I could react. Ultragod was upon me a second later, this time punching me through a set of purple alien pots. By the time I landed on the floor, my back was filled with shards of glass and pottery. I’d been beaten before, sometimes to the point of unconsciousness, during my angry youth.

It was nowhere near this bad.

“I had hopes for you.” Ultragod floated towards me. He conjured a gigantic fist made of energy which picked me up between its fingers. “I thought you were different. Yet, here you are, working with monsters like Psychoslinger and Tom Terror. The choices we make define us. I’m sorry to say yours have revealed your true character. I was hoping better, given what Gabrielle said about you.”

“Pfft.” I spit blood from my mouth. “This is not what it looks like.”

Oh God. Did I actually say that?

“Ninety-seven New Avalon citizens are dead. Several superheroes are critically injured, a few may not make it. That’s not counting the prisoners killed in the resulting battles or by their fellows. Do you have anything to say before I pound you and Psychoslinger into next month?”

“How about... goodbye?” Psychoslinger lifted up a strange multi-barrel gun with dozens of blinking lights. A blast of white energy shot forth from it and struck Ultragod in the back.

The glowing fist holding me up dissipated as the superhero crumbled to the ground, clutching his chest as if his heart was exploding.

“What the... hell?” I struggled to get up and fell to the ground. I was still hurting from Ultragod’s attack.

“I found the Power Nullifier in one of the display cases. Just look at him, he’s crawling on the ground like a baby. This is so awesome.” Psychoslinger laughed, shaking the weapon like a toy.

I struggled to get up, falling to the ground a second after I got to my feet. “Yeah, awesome.”

Well, that was unexpected.

And
really bad
.

Ultragod looked terrible. After being blasted with the Power Nullifier, he looked like he’d come down with a severe case of the flu. Worse, he looked like he was dying. In an instant, the tide had shifted and now the world’s greatest superhero was at our nonexistent mercy. Which is exactly what I
didn’t
want.

“
Gary, you have to help him
.
Tom Terror built the Power Nullifer as a weapon to
kill
Ultragod, not disable him. Without his powers, Ultragod will be killed by his inherent radiation within minutes.”
I seemed to recall Tom Terror having tried something similar on Gabrielle way-back-when, only for it not to work because the Ultraforce was inherent to her.

I wanted to help, I did, but I wasn’t sure how. God almighty. Why was reality doing this to me? You know, aside from all the horrible stuff I’d done in the past few days. Psychoslinger placed the Power Nullifier beside Ultragod, taunting the Lord of Light with the reverse setting being
just
out of reach. The weapon looked like an oversized children’s toy yet it had reduced the strongest man in the world to a shivering wreck. Psychoslinger kicked the legendary superhero across the jaw, conjuring a psychic dagger before driving it into his left hand and doing the same to his right. The wounds weren’t lethal, but they were enough to cause Ultragod to cry out.

“You want to join in, Merciless?” Psychoslinger said, giggling. “I figure there are all sorts of things we can do to him without killing him.”

Somehow, between here and when he’d ambushed me in the hall, we’d become friends again. Or he was going to kill me soon so there was no point in not playing with me first.

“I’ll pass. I’ve got a teleporter to catch. You, however, knock yourself out.” I needed to find a weapon to get rid of this bastard. My back tooth came loose as I ran my tongue over it and spit it out along with a mouth full of blood. Ultragod had cleaned my clock but good.

“Thanks!” Psychoslinger gave me two thumbs up. “You’re all right.”

“Your approval fills me with shame but I’ve got better things to do than stand in your way.” My eyes searched the trophy room around me for something which might help. There were alien flowers, weapons which I didn’t know how to access through their casings, and holograms of Gabrielle with various boyfriends. About half of them were of her and me.

Awkward.

Psychoslinger picked up Ultragod by his tights, hoisting him up to eye-level. Looking into the superhero’s eyes, he said, “I wonder what it would do for my rep if I cut the face off the world’s greatest superhero? How beloved will you be if your face scares small children?”

I decided I had no idea what half of this crap was and I’d just have to improvise. “Psychoslinger?”

“Yeah?” my psychotic companion said.

“I’m actually on his side,” I said, deciding to distract him. Maybe Ultragod could think of something. Maybe Psychoslinger would kill us both.

Either way.

I was a supervillain.

Which meant I did what I
wanted
.

Not what was smart.

Psychoslinger seemed to understand what was happening because he dropped Ultragod and threw a pair of psychic daggers at me. I was already turning intangible by that point and slipped into the floor before levitating up behind him. Grabbing a humanitarian of the year award from the wall, I attempted to put it inside his chest as I done with the Extreme.

“Fun times over, Psychoslinger,” I said, before noticing there was nothing inside Psychoslinger’s chest. It was like he was made of electricity. “Crap.”

“I’m
made
of psychic energy, you fool! There’s nothing you can do to stop me!”

“The one time I try to do something nice...” I trailed off, wincing.

“
Albeit for the selfish reason of not wanting Gabrielle to hate you any more than Mandy would for letting the world’s greatest hero die.”

“Not the time, Cloak!”

Spinning around, Psychoslinger tried to take my head off with a psychic scimitar. I ducked, not wanting to know whether or not the psycho’s weapons could hurt me in my intangible state.

“Bitch!” Psychoslinger hissed. “Stand still!”

“I’ll pass,” I replied, deciding discretion was the better part of valor. Using my intangibility to pass through objects around me, I dodged attack after attack. One of the hurled blades managed to nick the back of my leg, knocking my feet out from under me. I noticed I was once more at the teleporter, directly under the control system in fact.

“You had me fooled, didn’t you? You had me thinking you were one of us, but you were really one of them! Naughty-naughty!” Psychoslinger walked at me, smiling as he conjured a series of six-inch claws on the ends of his fingers. It made him look like one of the Tomorrow Society’s villains.

“Tell me,” I whispered to Cloak, coughing, “how do I work this thing?”

“
Push the green button and turn the dials up to maximum. Then hit the outline where Psychoslinger is in relation to the room
.”