The Complete Groupie Trilogy (73 page)

When she talked of moving out he grew more desperate. The pregnancy wasn’t even showing yet and she was willing to walk out on him. He had to bite the bullet and he knew it. He went to a jewelry store, picked out a ring with a ruby stone, her birthstone, and orchestrated a full three course meal to be delivered to their apartment that night.

By dessert, her favorite, he finally went down on one knee and formal
ly asked her to marry him.

“Do you love me, Vanni?” she asked softly as she searched his eyes for the truth.

Vanni had already made peace with the fact he would never love anyone the way he loved Andy, but maybe he wasn’t supposed to. Maybe the affection he felt for this girl, this special girl who now carried the precious gift of his child, qualified as love even if it wasn’t the same thing he felt for someone else.

Maybe, just maybe, this was life making a smart decision for him. Clearly he wasn’t capable of making any good ones on his own.

Yet she was willing to love him, to raise a baby with him, to never ask him for anything more than he was willing to give. Maybe that was the purest kind of love.

And if he didn’t love her like he loved Andy, he could still love her like she deserved.

He nodded. “Yes,” he whispered.

Tears welled in her eyes as she flew from her seat into his arms. She awarded him with a passionate kiss that lingered around the edges of his memory like the melody to a song he couldn’t name. He knew instantly this was the kind of kiss that sparked their night of passion, which resulted in a brand new life.

What could possibly be wrong with that?

He lifted her up in his arms and carried her to his bedroom. He was completely sober as he made love to her again. When she asked him to say her name, he only hesitated a moment before he whispered, “Holly,” against her quivering skin.

He touched her tummy, which bore no hint of the changes that were going on deep inside her body. It was all so magical. In mere months she’d be in full bloom with his child. Would it be a girl? Would it be a boy? Would it look like him? Would it resemble her?

He knew it wasn’t the journey he had envisioned for himself, but there was someone more important in the picture now. His child was worth any sacrifice he had to make.

With Holly it barely seemed like a sacrifice at all. She was attentive and loving, especially now that she wore his ring on her finger. They talked about a wedding date, and she told him she’d always dreamed of a Christmas wedding. It was less than ten days away but there was really no reason to wait.

Of course the minute they filed for their marriage license the gossip mill was speculating if the Casanova of Rock could ever really settle down. There was speculation of a “shotgun” wedding but they both decided they wanted to wait on announcing the baby. Not only was it none of their business, Holly was extremely superstitious and felt announcing it before she was three months along would risk a miscarriage. She’d had one before, she confe
ssed. It was her greatest fear.

So she suggested they wait until the frenzy started over her baby bump, which would surely make itself known around Valentine’s Day when she would be about fourteen weeks along.

She managed to rent a church so they could “do it right” before the eyes of God. Suddenly, since her pregnancy, she was ready to throw herself into religious tradition in a way he wasn’t expecting. But he was willing to indulge her. He might as well make it a bonding commitment with God Almighty.

That was the one way he knew he’d never be tempted to stray. Heaven only knew what other curve balls the Big Guy was willing to sling his direction if he didn’t keep his nose clean. Vanni somewhat suspected his Aunt Susan had something to do with that.

She would be extraordinarily pleased he was marrying a good Catholic girl in a proper church. It would save him the ass-kicking she’d surely unleash the minute he joined her in heaven for getting someone pregnant out of wedlock.

She knew he was no saint, but she had always believed he was smarter than that. Up until 2010, he had been.

The only wrinkle in the plan was that Holly had invited Graham and Andy. Much to Vanni’s chagrin they both agreed to come. His heart thundered at the thought of seeing her there in the chapel as he married another woman.

In any rare dream he had had about that scenario, she was n
ot the one sitting in the pews.

But he couldn’t think about that anymore. He still loved her but he loved his child more. It wasn’t even a person yet but the pull he had towards the idea of a son or daug
hter was powerfully motivating.

He’d already written lyrics, sappy stuff that Julian and Yael would laugh him right out of the studio if he presented it to them. It was crazy to think in all the years he had run in fear of becoming a father noth
ing seemed to fulfill him more.

Julian was cautiously pleased about their impending union. He did warn Vanni that he had better never hurt his sister, and it was a threat Vanni immediately understood legitimate and justified. He never had a sister but he could see himself issuing the same kind of warning had she married.

He reassured Julian that there was no need for him to worry. He’d made his decision. He wasn’t going to back out now. Of all the women he had dated over the years, he had only proposed to one. He intended to do whatever it took to make the marriage last. That was how sacred he considered the covenant to be.

Holly was just as committed to doing it right. She moved out of the apartment and back in with Julian for the remaining days before the wedding. Vanni missed having her around. There was an emptiness in his life that he knew Holly filled.

It made him even surer that he was making the right decision.

He probably would have never questioned it at all if he hadn’t gotten a text from Andy to meet her before the wedding.

He wanted to meet her at Central Park but they feared that would be too open. Instead they decided to meet at the church where he was due to be married in three days.

He didn’t know what he was expecting as he entered the dark, Gothic church in the heart of Manhattan, but it wasn’t the pale, gaunt Andy standing by the altar. She looked ill, probably heartsick, and her eyes were sad as she watched him approach.

“You look great,” she said softly as her eyes traveled over his frame. Thanks to Holly he had been well taken care of and it showed.

“Thanks,” he said in response. He wanted to tell her she looked great too but the fact was she looked like hell. He hadn’t seen her look so bad since February of 2009. “Rough flight?” he asked.

“Something like that,” she dismissed. She pulled a small box from her jacket. “Happy birthday,” she said as she handed it to him. He smiled as he unwrapped it and found a hand knit scarf inside. “It’s from Grandma,” she clarified unnecessarily.

He put it in his coat pocket. “Thank her for me.”

She nodded. Her body wavered a bit, which immediately drew his concern. “Are you okay? Do you need to sit?” She nodded again and he guided her over to the first wooden pew. “Why’d you call me, Andy?” he finally asked.

“I needed to see…” she hesitated briefly. “I needed to know if you were happy.”

It broke his heart to look at her face. Deep inside he had always believed there would never be an end for them, but now he was willing to close the door on her forever. Only his child was worth that kind of sacrifice. It was his turn to nod. “I never thought I’d ever want this,” he confessed, but she already knew that. “But now that it’s real I can’t remember what was so scary before.” Her eyes fell as he kept going. “I can’t wait to meet him or her. To hold my baby in my arms. To be the family I never got to be. I’ve run from this my whole life and now I can’t think of anything I want more.”

She closed her eyes. It was exactly what she had feared. When she looked at him there were tears in her eyes she refused to shed. “I’m happy for you, Vanni,” she choked out. “Really.”

He took her hand in his. “Are you happy, Andy?”

She smiled bravely. “Oh yes,” she lied right through her teeth. “Graham is a wonderful, loving man. And we’re going to get him back on his feet in no time.”

“And you love him,” Vanni prodded.

“Much like you love her,” Andy mused in response. She glanced up at the altar. “Otherwise I guess you probably wouldn’t be here.”

He glanced over to the altar himself. He would stand there in just a few days and promise his life to someone other than the woman sitting next to him. It felt almost sinful, but they had both made their choices. There was nothing to do but live out the lives they promised to other people.

The door to their ever being together again was closing and there was nothing they could do but look on. “I should go,” she whispered as she struggled to her feet.

He pulled her hand towards him until she sank back onto the pew beside him. “I still love you,” he whispered, as if in confession.

She gasped back the sob she never wanted to release. “I’ll always love you, V
anni,” she whispered in return.

His hand snaked behind her neck and pulled her close, resting his forehead on hers. His throat constricted as he placed a soft, long kiss on her nose which released one lone tear to chase down her face. “Vanni,” she whispered and he was unable to resist her call. He tasted her lips tenderly. It was their last kiss, their last chance, their final goodbye. She submitted to him for one long, passionate moment, then pulled away and stumbled out of the aisle and out of the church.

It wasn’t until he got back to the apartment that evening that he realized what a mistake he had made. The computer had been left open to late breaking gossip, where a fuzzy, dark photo of Vanni kissing Andy in the church had been published by PING.

“He can’t even make it to the altar without screwing around!” the snarky copy read. “Run for your life, Holly!”

He immediately ran to Julian’s apartment, but no one answered the door. He had no idea whether they were there and pissed off or had left the building entirely. He assumed it was the latter, because Julian didn’t come after him with a baseball bat like Vanni feared.

He went back to his penthouse and into the closet, only to find everything she’d moved into his house now gone.

She’d done it.

She’d left.

And she took his child with her.

He raced to the studio where he found Leo in a rage. “You stupid son of a bitch!” he bellowed as he advanced onto the younger man. “How could you risk what you had with Holly on that fat cow?”

It was more than Vanni could take, especially in the desperate mood he was in. He shoved Leo back against the soundboard. “You say one more thing against Andy and I swear to God I’ll rip your fucking throat out,” he threatened through clenched teeth. “And you better not be hiding Holly somewhere.”

“Why not?” Leo spat back. “She needs someone to protect her from your sleazy ass. Just like a fucking Italian, man. Do you got a little cock, man? I mean I really want to know why you need to fuck any piece of pussy that moves.”

Vanni reared back and punched Leo right across the jaw, bringing the older man to the floor. He jumped back up in a rage as he flung himself against Vanni. In return Vanni promptly decided to take out all his fear and his desperation of not knowing where Holly was on this pompous asshole, the same guy who had facilitated every bad decision he had made this past year.

They broke expensive equipment as they tumbled around the studio, where Yael and Davy and some sound techs barely dodged the brouhaha. Yael had already called for back up the minute Leo got the call from Holly and promptly lost his shit, so he wasn’t surprised that within minutes Graham wheeled onto the scene with two burly security guards to break up the fight. Andy trailed slightly behind.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Leo continued to rage. He motioned behind Graham to Andy. “You should be keeping your dog on a leash.”

Though he was held back by a security guard, Vanni lunged at him spewing profanities. He couldn’t believe he ever truste
d that worthless piece of shit.

Graham didn’t even raise his voice. “You have two ways you can play this, Leo. You can leave here quietly and respectfully and maybe, just maybe, you’ll be able to work in this business again. Or you can keep talking and wind up in jail for assault, trespassing, vandalism and sabotage. Personally I’m
really hoping for the latter.”

“I want to know where Holly is,” Vanni yelled.

“Fuck you, man,” Leo goaded. “She’s going to own your ass. She’s going to own all of your asses,” he declared with bloody grin. “I personally can’t wait to see her take you all down.”

Graham nodded at the guard holding Leo to have him removed from the premises. Vanni struggled to follow. “I need to know where she is,” he begged Graham, who just shook his head.

“He won’t tell you anything, Vanni,” Graham informed him. “But I’m sure she hasn’t gone far. She’s just making you pay for humiliating her.”

The guard released Vanni, who slumped down in a chair. “You don’t understand. She made me promise I would never hurt her.”’

“That’s a promise you should never make to anyone,” Graham said. “You hurt everyone you touch. Especially women. Personally I think she’s smarter to stay away, but we already know that isn’t possible with the great Giovanni Carnevale. They all come to you like a moth to a flame, ready to burn up in an instant rather than live a safe, boring existence without you.”