The Complete Groupie Trilogy (69 page)

By the time Holly returned from walking his father home he was on his third drink, courtesy of his intoxicated manager.

After Leo had left and Holly disappeared into the kitchen to clean up after the guests, Vanni took a bottle of champagne from the table and retreated to his bedroom. He stared at the lights of the city and wondered what Andy was doing right that moment. Was she serving turkey as lady of the house with Graham? Did she think about the future they had denied themselves? Did she smile through everything that only proved a lackluster replacement for what she really wanted, just like he did? Had she even spared him a thought at all?

He guzzled the bottle as he tried to fend off the melancholy that always attacked him when he thought about her or their star-crossed love affair. Once the bottle was empty he felt the initial buzz but it wasn’t enough to blanket the pain like he hoped. He slipped back out into the living room where the bar was still completely set up fo
r the guests who had long gone.

He didn’t even care what bottle he grabbed. Just a few hours ago his house had been full of people who were laughing and talking and happy to be included in his world. Why should it matter that one person was missing? Especially one person who had chosen not to be there?

Maybe Holly was right. Maybe she had used him to validate herself, and he just couldn’t do that for her like Graham could.

He started on bottle number three as he thought about the petite brunette in his kitchen. She had done everything to prove she was in this thing for the long haul. She advised him, she comforted him; she gave him a home when he wasn’t really sure he deserved one. And she’d never asked for anything in return. Not once. Not even a kiss, a kind word or a thank you.

He had spent weeks mooning over the one who left him in the taillights while ignoring the one who cheerfully piloted his course.

He stumbled into the kitchen to rectify that grievous error. Her eyes widened when she saw what state he was in. “Vanni,” she called to him as she ran over to where he leaned h
eavily against the counter.

“I owe you an apology,” he slurred. “I was in there thinking about everything I don’t have and it hit me… you have always given me everything without any complaint or condition. I’m sorry for being too selfish to notice.”

He staggered a little bit and she did her best to hold him up. “You don’t have to thank me, Vanni,” she said softly. “I wanted to do it.”

He couldn’t figure it out. How can anyone want to do so much and get nothing in return? Or want nothing in return? She truly was a unique individual, espe
cially in his world. “But why?”

She touched his face. “You mean you honestly don’t know?” she whispered. She leaned forward and kissed him softly on his parted lips. “I am in love with you.”

They were words he had longed to hear for weeks. He just never expected she’d be the one to say them. In his muddled mind he realized that she alone had earned the right to say them. He stared into those bottomless blue eyes and saw something he hadn’t seen in a really long time. It was that hopeful hero worship where he could do no wrong. There was nothing complicated about it. All she wanted was to love him; she didn’t even ask to be loved back. He grabbed her tiny body against his and tried to fit it where he had been so achingly empty. When she reached up for him he kissed her hard. He had needed something he couldn’t name and – as usual – she was willing to offer it without question.

Though she had always made it plain she didn’t get involved with musicians, she responded to his kiss with unexpected passion. This was clearly something she had wanted for a long, long time. She fit in his arms like a doll as he lifted her up against the counter. The dirty dishes were forgotten as she clasped both legs around his waist, bringing him closer to her under her short plaid skirt. It was as though she had waited so long for him to make a move that she couldn’t get close enough, quick enough. She needed him and h
e suddenly needed to be needed.

She unbuttoned his shirt and slid it from his strong shoulders as he slipped her black turtleneck sweater over her head. She released the front hook of her bra and then pressed
her tight body up against his.

Other words followed but all he could hear was her declaration of love. She was in love with him. Someone loved him. All other words felt like they were uttered under water as his consciousness rocketed off into the stratosphere. Was it the alcohol? Was it her kiss? Suddenly he was high and kept getting higher. His whole consciousness was in a fog where he could barely think beyond the willing woman at the tips of his fingers. His body sprung to life in ways it never had before. He didn’t just want her, he needed her. He was so hard it was almost painful. Though he staggered from his intoxication, he carried her rather effortlessly toward the bedroom where they both toppled onto the bed. His high continued to soar as he got lost in her sweet mouth, feeling her delicate hands guide him
exactly where he wanted to go.

Only it wasn’t where he wanted to go, it was where he was allowed to go. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Andy’s face. Though he felt Holly’s tiny little body around him, his arms imagined the curves he had grown to worship over the years. It was so shitty of him but in that moment he understood with fevered and intoxicated logic what divided Andy between two completely different men.

He loved Andy but he owed Holly.

Holly had shown nothing but kindness. He owed her loyalty for being the one who chose him.

He only hoped he didn’t utter the wrong name as he rode her hard in a drunken stupor. When Holly begged him to come he released himself at last, hoping everyone – including Andy – would forgive him for being so weak.

Chapter Nineteen

November, 2010. Los Angeles.

Graham

In the ten days that followed Andy’s moving back into the house, Graham made a steady, if slow, recovery. Andy threw all her energy into getting him back to where he was, and Maggie rewarded her loyalty and hard work by melting the icy exterior that had taken the place of their initial friendship. Together they worked tirelessly to get Graham back to his physical therapy so that by mid-November both ladies almost needed a doctor themselves. Everyone was fatigued and drained from their efforts day after day.

But the fruits of their labor included Graham’s progress in making independent steps. He still hadn’t told Andy what he had been able to do. He made Maggie swear on her life she’d keep his secret until he was ready, which in his mind was walking toward her Christmas day. Though he didn’t breathe a word of it to anyone, he imagined that scenario ending with him on bended knee, and had already purchased a ring just in case.

Though they had buried the ugly New York instance and never discussed it, Graham had to believe that her returning to him afterwards was as sure a sign as any her commitment was permanent. This was especially true now that Vanni had moved to New York and wouldn’t be around to tempt her anymore.

It was as though their public misstep had forced them to make their choices accordingly. She chose Graham and he had moved to New York with Holly.

Maybe Andy finally realized he would never choose her in any way that counted. She was his dirty little secret, and she finally decided she needed more than that.

It was a future Graham was more than willing to give her.

So he waited patiently as she worked through all her emotions. She was understandably put off by his using Holly as a buffer; much like Vanni had been when Graham had used her. But she turned all that anger into determination to get Graham walking again, so he met her efforts with equal determination.

He worried about her health as the weeks went on. She looked pale and sickly and didn’t really want to eat when Maggie would try to get her to keep her strength up. She told them it was the flu; she’d surely get over it by Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving, Graham thought. Time was flying by fast if he wanted to make his goal a reality. He decided to play the holiday low key, which was fine by both Maggie and Andy. Maggie had given up making spectacles out of the holidays when Mitchell died. She preferred to stay to herself and read or reminisce without any societal pressure to interact with a bunch of strangers. Andy thought about going home to Nashville to see her grandmother but after the last trip, and the lies she told about it, she figured she’d just stay in Los Angeles. Her grandmother was booked solid with her church hosting a holiday meal for the homeless; it wasn’t as th
ough her presence was required.

Instead they purchased a small turkey to share between them. All three of them would provide a holiday staple from their youth, which meant they prepared the meal together in the vast white kitchen. Even with Graham in his wheelchair he did amazingly well preparing a sweet potato casserole with brandied nuts and cranberries. Andy provided a southern dressing and Maggie made the pies.

As the sun slipped into the Pacific each of them were stuffed to the gills and pleasantly satisfied with their simple homespun holiday. They cleaned up together and then played a board game by the fireplace. Graham suggested that they set up a Christmas tree but all three of them were worn out. It had been a marathon to help him recover the time he’d lost while he was ill.

In all honesty he wasn’t that excited to go back out in the real world again given that’s where his bout of pneumonia hit. Obviously his immune system wasn’t what it used to be and the unexpected bacterial virus nearly did what a bullet couldn’t even do. Maggie must have had the same concerns because she was quick to shoot down any plans that would overexert him.

His susceptibility to illness scared her more than she cared to admit. He knew the severity of the condition and the quickness in which it hit it reminded her of her late husband. Since she made it clear she wasn’t going to quit until they got him on his feet again, he knew she wasn’t going to take any more chances with his health.

The three of them were content to let the weekend pass without any strenuous plans. As tired as they all were, Graham figured a weekend of rest was just what the doctor ordered.

Holly, however, had other plans. She chose that particular weekend to confide in Andy a secret that Graham knew would send her into an emotional tailspin.

He happened to pass by the office as Holly and Andy were chatting via video, as they had come to do now that Dreaming in Blue had relocated to New York. The conversation was more personal than business so Graham normally would have passed right by.

That was when Holly dropped the bombshell.

“I hate to be any kind of gossip but something has happened that I think you should know, given your history. And it’s only as your friend that I tell you this. He’s moved in with someone.”

Andy tried to act uninterested but Graham knew better. “It’s not the first time,” she dismissed. “Doubt it will be the last.”

“It’s p
retty serious,” Holly insisted.

Andy reluctantly played the game. “How serious?”

“They’re talking about having a baby.”

Graham’s eyes closed. He knew that Holly had just ripped out Andy’s heart with that casual tidbit of gossip. “Isn’t that a little sudden? Vanni never wanted to start a family before.”

“He said she’s different from any other woman he’s ever known. He knew when he met her that he wanted her as the mother to his children. And since he has reunited with his dad he feels like he is ready for a real family. The way he sees it, he’s put off settling down long enough. He said there’s nothing out there but more disappointment, it is time to seize the happy while he can.”

Andy couldn’t help but notice Holly had quite the inside scoop on what Vanni was thinking. It reminded her of the possessive way she had always spoken about Graham. She asserted herself as an authority on the subject of Vanni. Andy tried her best to play off the gossip, she couldn’t imagine Vanni had such an about-face when it came to children. She was a veteran of that particular war. “I’ll believe it when I see it,” she finally said.

“They’re already trying,” Holly insisted. “Given the circumstances I think it’s the best thing that can happen. I think it could really turn his image around.”

Andy’s pounced all over that. “From what I understand the controversy has died down considerably in the last couple of weeks. And aren’t you supposed to be the girlfriend on record? Won’t this just stir things up all over again?”

Holly hesitated for a moment. “Vanni would get mad that I’ve said this much already. I just didn’t want you to get sucker-punched again like you were in Los Angeles.”

She let that hang in the air for a moment as both Andy and eavesdropping Grah
am let its implication sink in.

“I gotta go,” Holly said suddenly. “Vanni’s calling. We’ll talk later, okay?”

Andy mumbled, “Okay,” but Holly had already disconnected. Graham waited for a minute or two before he opened the door to the office. Andy was slouched across the desk with her head in her arms.

“Are you okay?” he as
ked as he rolled into the room.

She lifted up, white as a sheet, with an ocean of unshed tears behind her darkened hazel eyes. “Fine. Just tired.”