The Complete Groupie Trilogy (70 page)

He rolled around to her. She was always tired lately. “Maybe you should take a nap.”

She shook her head. “We’ve got work to do,” she said as she tried her best to smile. He could tell she was dying inside. It wasn’t that long ago when she thought she might be pregnant with Vanni’s child, and now she had to face the fact they had moved on and he could start a family with someone else.

It was something Graham could no longer promise he could provide for her. There were so many variables about his future; maybe it was unfair of him to saddle her with them all.

The thought nagged at him all day, especially after she escaped to her room that afternoon. She had held back as much as she could but he knew from the echoed sobbing behind the door tha
t this news had devastated her.

He wheeled out to the living room where Maggie sat reading a book. “Are you okay?” she asked, immediately reading the conflict on his face.

He nodded, and then shook his head. “Andy’s upset,” he stated simply.

Maggie marked her page and placed the book in her lap. “About?”

He took a deep breath. “The man she loves is going to start a family with someone else.”

“I thought you were the man she loved,” Maggie said gently.

“Not like this other man,” he answered honestly. “This other man is a firework. Exciting. Explosive. Dynamic. I’m the safe, old shoe.”

She chuckled. “Don’t discount the value of a good shoe, Graham. Many women spend an entire lifetime looking for that perfect fit.”

He had to smile. “What if I’m the wrong fit?” he finally asked out loud. “What if she chose to be here because she felt obligated to, but her destiny is the guy she gave up?”

“That’s the thing about destiny. No matter what you do, it’ll show up on your doorstep anyway. If he’s going to start a family with someone else, that’s a good sign he’s not it. She’s here. You’re here. Why does it have to be any more complicated than that?”

He shook his head. He didn’t know. “What if I can’t give her what she wants? What if I can’t father her children? Forget about walking her down the aisle, what if I promise her ‘till death do us part’ only to die six months from now from some stupid infection?”

“What if you live to be a hundred and father fifteen kids? There’s no way to know the future. All we have is today. And that’s what we gotta make great.” He still looked unconvinced so she walked over to where he sat in his wheelchair. She knelt down to eye level and put both his hands in hers. “If it’s love, you never regret it, even if it doesn’t turn out like you planned. I’m not sorry for all the years I lost with my husband. I’m grateful for the ones I was blessed to have. There are no guarantees, Graham. If you’re lucky enough to find love, what else in the world could you possibly need?”

He grasped her hands in his. “You’re a wise woman, Maggie Lawson.”

“I just read a lot,” she said with a shrug. She reached up to kiss his forehead, a spontaneous gesture that took them both off guard. “For the record, I think you’re the best choice of almost any man. Anyone who can’t see that probably doesn’t deserve you.”

She left him with that.

He still wasn’t convinced, and ran several scenarios in his head where he could let her free to go to New York while there was still time. He loved her enough that he never wanted to see her unhappy, even if that meant they couldn’t be together. But if what Holly said was true, and they had no reason to believe that it wouldn’t be given Vanni’s history, maybe it was too late for her to chase after him anyway.

Maybe that would just hurt her worse. It wasn’t the first time she’d been tossed aside for one of his girlfriends. In fact with his track record it was almost a virtual certainty.

He was still torn what to do as the clock next to his bed clicked past midnight. When the door opened he thought he imagined it, but there she stood, as if he summoned her with his very thoughts.

Even more remarkably, she wore a familiar orange peignoir.

He watched as she floated toward him like an apparition. “Andy?” he asked unnecessarily. “What are you doing?”

She slid into bed next to him. “I’m making my choice,” she said as she reached for a kiss.

The minute her lips touched his, every nerve that could still feel anything went up in flames. He had longed for this moment for so long; and here she was… in his arms… warm and real. “Andy…” he started, as though he should still be the bigger man and withdraw his affections so she could
chase her happiness elsewhere.

She held up a finger to his lips. He watched as she slid each strap down her silky white shoulders, unveiling herself to him. She ran her hand along his arm until she tangled her fingers in his. Then she raised his hand to cup her bared breast as she reached for another kiss.

He wanted to ask her if she was sure, to be certain that he wasn’t just filling her bed because some other man had been taken off the market. But all thoughts ground to a standstill as her tongue danced around his softly parted lips. This was his dream come true to have her fill his arms at last.

Maybe it was just like Maggie said. When it was destiny, when it was meant to be, then nothing could stop it from happening.

He knew in an instant he didn’t want it to stop. With every fiber of his being he wanted to make love to her, and had for years. “Andy,” he whispered against her lips as he submitted to the moment.

He caressed her gently as he deepened the kiss. She filled his hand, which set off electricity inside his palm as her nipple hardened and reached for him. He broke the kiss to trail his hot mouth down her neck and over her chest until he could take her into his mouth, which made her throw her head back with a soft gasp. He held her hardened nipple in between his teeth as he flicked over the sensitive tip with his tongue, determined to drive away any ghosts from their bed. She whispered his name as her hand drifted down under the covers to explore the hardened silhouette of his body.

She groaned against him and urged him on, so his other hand slipped lower between their bodies and up the soft expanse of her thighs. His whole body seemed to spring to life as he touched her where he’d never before dared to touch. He luxuriated in her soft flesh, so warm and velvety against his fingers. His touch was strong but gentle as he stimulated her, making her breath catch in her throat in between long, slow moans. He could feel himself ache for her in a way that he’d begun to think was impossible. Whether it was in his head or a physical response didn’t seem to matter. He knew the minute his finger slipped inside her what it would feel like to be buried within her, one at last.

He knew just where to touch her, a place she’d never even discovered on her own, to make her quiver almost instantly all around his
fingers with a stifled scream.

He slid the silky nightgown up over her hips as he urged her to straddle him. He said nothing as he stared deeply within her eyes, watching her face as she slid down on top of him. It was the most intimate moment of his life as he lived every sensation through those golden green depths. He could tell how deep he was by the way her eyes would open wider with each stroke. He remembered how tightly she had circled his fingers, and he could almost feel he
r clutch him deeper inside her.

He couldn’t have stopped her even if he had wanted to. His fingers dug into the soft flesh of her hips as he urged her to go faster. He panted as he tried hard to push up inside her, though he thought maybe he imagined how much he could actually do. Maybe he was crazy but he thought he could really feel her. The sensation was muted but he could have sworn it was t
here as she bucked against him.

She tilted her head back and closed her eyes as she began to spasm uncontrollably on top of him. They both gasped as they realized he was coming inside her too. She hadn’t expected it, which is one of two major reasons why she didn’t bother with birth control, but it pleased her to know that he could still feel like a man in her arms if nowhere else.

It was the best gift she could give him.

Vanni was right to move on to someone else, someone who could give him the life he couldn’t. Her life was Graham’s, and had been since he took a bullet for her.

This was the only way she could totally let Vanni free. She would bond herself to Graham once and for all.

As she dozed in his arms, Graham stroked her hair like he had always dreamed he would do in the wake of their lovemaking. It had been more than fulfilling. It had been life-changing. He was in awe of the miracle she had
performed, not just on his body but in his very soul. She had given him a gift, specifically his manhood. All he could do was pray that somehow he could return the favor.

As he drifted to sleep he dreamed of a baby with his dark hair and her hazel colored eyes.

Chapter Twenty

November 26, 2010. New York City.

Vanni

Vanni felt like a jackhammer had been let loose inside his skull as his eyelids peeled apart that following morning. He fought cotton mouth as well as nausea as he tried to pull himself in an upright position. He struggled to remember what had happened to him the night before. He remembered parts of the party, but not much else.

It took the movement of a warm body snuggled up against him to remind him how he ended his evening. Holly cuddled up against him, her hand possessively cupping his morning hard-on. “You’re insatiable,” she giggled as she slid up his body for another kiss. “Four times wasn’t enough for you?”

He ran a hand over his eyes. Four? He didn’t even remember one. He knew in an instant his sobriety had been blown all to hell, and now he had an unexpected bed mate to show for it.

He was just grateful it wasn’t another hooker.

“I thought you didn’t date musicians,” he said as he glanced over at the clock by the bed
. He’d overslept, big surprise.

“What can I say,” she mused. “Love makes you do silly things.”

His eyes shot open as he glanced at her. What was she talking about? She didn’t give him much time to wonder as she reached for another scorching kiss that almost demanded his response.

For a little thing she definitely knew how to get her way.

He tried to disengage. “Holly…” he started but her hands were all over his body encouraging him to follow more primal urges. It’d been long enough his traitorous body was ready to give in almost immediately to her magical touch.

Even in the throes of a monster hangover he knew that this was a complication in their relationship they didn’t need. He wasn’t over Andy by far and it just wasn’t right to use this sweet innocent girl as a replacement. “Don’t tell me you don’t want me,” she purred. “I have evidence to support that you do.”

He tried to move her hand away. “Obviously I find you attractive. You’re a beautiful girl.”

Her face fell in an instant pout. “But?”

He felt like a shit but he had to say it. “But last night was a mistake. I’d been drinking and I obviously wasn’t thinking anything through.”

She pulled back and covered herself up with the sheet. “What are you saying?”

He reached out to touch her but she brushed him off. “Holly, you know I like you…”

“Like?” she repeated. “You told me you loved me, Vanni,” she said tearfully. “Otherwise I would have never…”

She slipped out of bed and ran toward the bathroom, leaving Vanni to chase after her in an almost comically awkward state. He pounded on the door she had slammed between them. “Holly, come on. Open the door. Let’s talk about this.”

Instead she sobbed louder. He sighed as he slid down the door to sit naked on the floor. What a mess, he thought to himself. He had obviously drunk himself into mess of things – again – especially if he told someo
ne he loved her when he didn’t.

Could he really have said that to get into her pants? Wasn’t that phase of his life behind him?

It was hard to tell for sure given he didn’t remember any of the events after his third bottle of booze. He tried but he simply couldn’t. And now he had alienated one of his few remaining friends as a result.

Though they had let the gossip mill create a whirlwind romance, neither of them had ever made any move beyond harmless flirting to take their relationship to any other level. There had been hugs, of course, but nothing that would have been inappropriate. No kisses beyon
d a casual peck here and there.

Granted she took care of him much like a girlfriend or even wife would do, but she took care of everyone. There was nothing even remotely that made him stand out from anyone else… except of course that she basically lived in his house. But they didn’t share a bed; they didn’t even share a bathroom.

She took care of him much like she took care of her brother.

Had he really misread her intentions all this time?

And now that he’d done something as reprehensible as drop the “L” word during casual sex, how could they ever get back to anything normal, especially when she cared for him more than he cared for her?

He kept knocking but she didn’t open the door until a good twenty minutes after she stomped in. He tried to stop her as she grabbed her clothes, which were strewn all the way from the bedroom to the kitchen. She was spitting fire at him the whole way. “You selfish, lying asshole. You told me you loved me,” she spat. “You told me you wanted me to be the mother of your children.”