Take What You Want (37 page)

“
I
made it home safely, Dad,”
he typed and hit the send button.

A
moment later, Chase responded.
“Thank
you.”

Alex stared at Chase's
message. He wanted to dial his number simply to hear his voice, but
changed his mind. He needed to keep the distance. Alex felt he'd
done a good job of expressing how he felt to Chase, and also
explained what he wanted in a relationship. The rest was up to
Chase. He would either find a way to make a relationship work with
Alex – or not, and this time away from Alex would help him
figure that all out. Right? At least that's what Alex wanted to
believe.

Alex had said everything he
could; except for those for those three critical words: I love you.
But, Alex wasn't ready to say that out loud, just yet. It was too
soon to reveal that piece and he couldn't leave himself too
vulnerable. It would only make it hurt more if Chase decided to walk
away.

Wheland returned to the
table and set an acoustic guitar onto the table and sat down with his
bass guitar in his lap.

“
Did
Chase give you that smile?” Wheland asked, looking at Alex who
seemed mesmerized by whatever he was looking at on his cell phone.

Alex lifted his head; the
grin growing on his face. “You know, he actually asked me to
message him when I got here,” Alex said. “He wanted to
know I'd made it safely.”

“
Sure
sounds like love to me,” Wheland said.

Alex shook his head and
tossed his phone onto the table. “Nah, I don't think so,”
he said.

“
You
admitted it five minutes after you got here,” Wheland said.

“
Me?
Yeah, hopelessly – and stupidly, head-over-heels,” Alex
said. “But, Chase? I doubt it. I'm the first guy he's been
with and once the novelty of that wears off, I'm sure I'll be
history.”

“
It
could also have something to do with him being able to say he fucked
Zander Metcalf,” Wheland said. “Have you considered
that?”

“
Painfully,
that thought has crossed my mind,” Alex said. He signed loudly
and rubbed at the fatigue settling into his bones. “I'm not
sure any of it matters now. Danni is back and he's … with
her.”

“
What
do you want from him?” Wheland asked. “Do you want him
to leave her, so you can be together?”

Alex looked at Wheland and
held his gaze for a long moment. “Honestly? I want them
both.”

Wheland growled in
frustration. “Another tripod? Ah, Christ, Alex! You still
haven't recovered from the last one and it's been years!”

“
This
is a
lot
different than it was with Adam,” Alex said. “Chase is a
far better man.”

“
And
what about Danni?” Wheland asked. “Are you fucking her,
too?”

Alex shook his head. “I
left a few minutes after meeting her, but she fucking gorgeous. And,
I know this will sound weird, but from everything Chase has told me,
I feel like I already know her.”

“
Yeah,
you're right,” Wheland said. “That does sound weird.”
He draped the bass across his lap and ran his fingers across the
thick strings. “You know, I worry about you. Why can't you
find yourself a nice guy to settle down with and be done with all
this tripod crap.”

Alex
took the acoustic guitar and laid it over his thighs. “Because,
I love pussy as much as I love cock. I need both to feel whole.”

Wheland made a sour face.
“It's all fun and games until someone falls in love, and you
always seem to be the one crossing that line.”

“
I
have a romantic heart,” Alex said, patting his chest. “So,
sue me.”

Wheland motioned toward the
instrument on Alex's lap. “That isn't gonna play itself,”
he said. “Start working the strings, lover boy.”

-0-

Four
days had passed since Alex flew back to Los Angeles. Except for that
one brief text message from him, saying he'd arrived safely, Chase
hadn't heard another word. The absence of Alex in his life was
disconcerting. It felt off, like Alex was pissed off at him. Or,
maybe Alex
did
have someone waiting for him back in L.A. and they'd picked up where
they'd left off. The other option was just as unsettling for Chase:
Alex had found someone new.

The decision to call Alex
was easy. Mainly because he couldn't take the silence from him
anymore. If Alex had changed his mind about him and Danni, than
Chase wanted to know about it. Why drag it out any longer? He
fussed around at work doing mindless tasks trying to keep his mind
busy; deliberately waiting until mid-afternoon to offset the time
difference between East Coast and West. Even still, every few
minutes he found himself looking at the clock on his cell phone.

Around three o'clock he
dialed the number he had for Alex's cell phone. Certainly by now,
Alex would be awake and out of bed, he thought. Three rings later,
Alex answered the phone and the masculine rumble of his voice swirled
inside Chase's head, causing a sweet rush of excitement to spread
through his extremities and settle in his groin.

“
How've
you been?” Chase asked. His voice felt weak; shaky and
uncertain. He swallowed hard and did his best to tamp down the
emotion washing over him. He could hear people talking in the
background and wondered if he'd caught Alex in the middle of
something. “Is this a bad time?”

“
No,
I'm good,” Alex said. “I was about to head into
Wheland's home recording studio with Cooper. We're going to work on
that song I was writing the night before I left.”

“
Oh.
Well, I can let you go,” Chase said.

“
Chase.
No. Don't go,” Alex said. “It's good to hear your
voice.”

“
You,
too,” Chase said on a sigh. He could hear the emotion behind
Alex's words and it made him feel a little less uncertain. He found
a quiet place at the job site that was private and sat down. Talking
to Alex was supposed to make him feel better, but hearing the smooth
texture of his voice was making him feel worse. Empty, too, because
he couldn't be with Alex and thousands of miles separated them.

“
How
are you doing?” Alex asked. “How's Danni?”

“
We're
okay,” Chase said. “We had a seriously long talk after
you left. I swear that one conversation lasted three days.”

“
About?”
Alex asked.

“
You.
Us. She had a lot of questions,” Chase said. “I
answered every one of them, and it wasn't an easy conversation. She
screamed. She cried. It's been a shitty week.”

“
You
told her … everything?” Alex asked.

“
Yes,
she knows about all of it now – including us wanting the
tripod.” The silence that came through the phone had Chase
questioning Alex's remaining interest. “But, maybe you're no
longer interested?”

“
I
didn't say that, Chase.”

“
You're
not saying much of anything,” Chase said. “I can let you
go, if you'd rather …”

“
Chase.
Please. Give me a minute,” Alex said. “My head is
spinning.”

Another
long, awkward pause fell between them and Chase was rubbing the
tension from his forehead.

“
Alex?”

“
Yeah,
I'm here,” Alex said. “Hearing your voice is
overwhelming enough, but knowing you talked to Danni kind of
blindsided me. I mean, I was hoping you might while I was gone, but
I wasn't certain, and I definitely didn't think it would happen so
soon.”

“
My
voice overwhelms you?” Chase asked.

“
The
voice. The man. All of it.”

Chase felt his face flush
from Alex's words and his heart began to thud louder; faster. He was
about to respond when Alex started talking again.

“
What
did Danni have to say about the tripod?” Alex asked.

Chase contemplated his
answer, but knew how much the importance of his honesty mattered.
“She thinks the only reason you want her is to have me,”
Chase said.

“
Fuck!
You know that's not the case,” Alex said. “I'll walk
away first, before I let her think or feel that way.”

“
I
told her that,” Chase said.

“
I
don't know what to say,” Alex said. “I feel like I
dropped into your life and totally fucked it up.”

Chase laughed, even though
there was nothing funny about their conversation. “Meeting you
was all good,” he said. “I'm not sure I could explain
just how good, so you'll have to take my word for it.”

“
I'd
agree, Chase,” Alex said. “You walking into my life was
a nice surprise – one I wasn't looking for, but I'm happy it
happened.”

“
I'm
glad to hear you feel the same,” Chase said, his voice
softening with the deepening intimacy in their conversation.

“
Very
much the same here,” Alex said. “I've been wanting to
call you, but I didn't want to interrupt anything.”

“
You
shouldn't worry about that,” Chase said.

Another pause fell between
them and Chase heard Alex sigh.

“
I
miss you,” Alex finally said.

The relief that raced
through Chase was almost too much. It made him light-headed. “Me,
too. The last couple of days have been rough without seeing you.”

“
Ditto,”
Alex said.

“
Are
you coming back?” Chase asked, hating the desperate lilt in his
voice.

“
I'd
like to, but what about Danni? I don't want to add any more tension
between you two.”

“
Alex
…”

“
Don't
you think me being in the main house will create more problems for
you and Danni?”

“
Danni
and I are fine, Alex, so when are you coming back?”

“
I
don't know yet,” Alex said. “I need some more time to
think about this.”

“
Second
thoughts?” Chase asked.

“
I
don't want to be responsible for you and Danni breaking up,”
Alex said. “And, I also want to make sure I'm prepared to
handle the outcome, too.”

“
We're
not breaking up, Alex, and what outcome are you referring to?”

“
Have
you thought about what this might do to
me
if Danni pulls the plug and I'm sent packing?” Alex asked.
“I've been through this before, Chase. It sucks when it bursts
into flames and I'm typically the one left hanging on the end that's
burning.”

“
I
thought you wanted this,” Chase said.

“
I
do, more than I logically should, but for some fucked up reason, I
can't seem to find the balls to walk away,” Alex said.

“
I'd
rather you didn't walk away,” Chase said. “I really want
you to be with us.”