Take What You Want (35 page)

“
Alex,
this is Danni,” Chase said, using his hand to motion to her.

Alex
held her gaze, deep brown questioning eyes, and his stomach did a
flip-flop. Why was
he
suddenly
nervous? In his line of work, he met new people all the time, mainly
fans, and this wasn't any different, was it?

Yes,
it was. It was completely fucking different.

Meeting Danni was one of
those moments in his life he knew he'd always remember, like the
first time he heard his song playing on the car radio. Danni was
special. He knew that just from the many conversations he'd had with
Chase about her. He had come to see Danni through Chase's eyes and
Chase had seriously downplayed how breathtakingly beautiful she was
in person. The photographs Alex had seen of Danni paled in
comparison. It wasn't often when a woman stole the thoughts from his
brain or his self-confidence. Danni did both.

Typically, when Alex met
someone new he quickly slipped into 'rock star mode' and transformed
into Zander, ready for the next meet and greet, but Danni deserved
more than the business end of Zander. He wanted her to know Alex and
that would mean he'd have to let down his guard and prevent his
normal knee-jerk reaction to hide behind the wall of his alter ego.

“
Zander,”
her soft voice said, holding out her hand for him to shake. “It's
nice to finally meet you.”

“
Likewise,”
Alex said, taking her tiny hand in his grip and gently pulling her in
for a hug. “But, please, call me Alex,” he said, placing
a soft kiss to her cheek. “Zander only exists on stage.”

Damn! She felt good in her
arms, perfectly bending to his body, like she was made to be there;
fitting right under the slope of his chin. He felt the soft press of
her breasts against his chest and the perfect arch at the small of he
back. What he wouldn't give to feel her warm flesh. It made him
wish he had more time to spend with her and Chase. It also made him
rethink his decision to take a pass on a quick shower when Chase had
woken him. He knew he must look like crap.

“
I'm
sorry about my appearance,” Alex said. He stepped away from
her and moved to the table, stuffing the sheet music and recorder
into his backpack. “I worked all night and overslept this
morning. No time for a shower until I get back to L.A.” He
glanced over his shoulder at her and noticed Chase was standing
beside her with his arm around her slender waist. “Maybe when
I get back, we can all have dinner?”

“
That'd
be nice,” Chase said and Danni nodded in agreement, a weak
smile curling her lips.

Alex
watched Danni's long tapered fingers toy with her dark brown hair,
tightly twirling it around them; a nervous habit he found sexy as
hell in women. He felt that knot again in his stomach and forced his
eyes away from her.

“
Okay,
then,” Alex said. “I better get going. The charter
service charges extra if I keep the plane waiting too long on the
tarmac.” He grabbed his backpack and slung it over one
shoulder.

“
What
about the guitar?” Chase asked, eying the instrument laying on
the table.

Their
eyes met and held. That silent pause between the two men said so
much, until Alex pulled his gaze away. “I've got dozens more
just like it at home,” he said. He removed a pair of dark
sunglasses from a zippered compartment of the backpack and slid them
onto the bridge of his nose and stepped outside.

Chase
and Danni followed Alex to the car. The driver hopped out of the
front seat and held the back door open for Alex. Alex paused for a
moment, then turned to face Chase. It was there again, that special
something that passed between them, and Alex couldn't help himself.
He stepped to Chase and slid an arm around his shoulders in a loose
bro hug. The only difference was the drag of his lips across Chase's
bare neck and the whispered words at his ear.

“
I'll
miss you,” was all Alex said, then stepped back, briefly
pressed the side of his face to Danni's cheek, and continued to the
car.

“
Text
me when you get home,” Chase said.

“
Okay,
dad,” Alex said, with a sly grin. He gave one final wave to
them and slipped into the darkened privacy of the backseat. He heard
the door shut, blocking out the sunshine and the outside sounds, and
closed his eyes. Why did leaving have to hurt so much?

Danni watched Chase staring
at the car carrying Alex leave the long driveway. A vacant look
passed over Chase's face, almost like the sun setting when everything
becomes cloaked in shadow before dusk turns to night. The
transformation in Chase didn't surprise Danni, but it did hurt to see
how unhappy Chase was that Alex had left.

“
Care
to talk about the elephant in the room, or in this case; the man
driving away in the car?” she asked.

Chase looked at her. The
expression on his face was serious and solemn. “Yes, we need
to talk about Alex.”

Danni spun around in the
driveway and padded her way along the stone path toward the side
porch of the guest house. Chase followed close behind her, trying to
collect his thoughts. He didn't want to fuck this up and Danni
deserved to hear everything in his heart; best as he could articulate
it.

They stepped into the
kitchen of the cottage and Danni went to the refrigerator and pulled
out a pitcher of iced tea. She poured herself a glass. “Would
you like some?” she asked Chase.

“
No.
I'm good,” he said.

He leaned against the
counter in front of the sink and watched her sip from the tall glass.

“
Are
you going to start, or would you like me to?” Danni asked him.

Chase
opened up his mouth to speak and then stopped.
Fuck!
You're already blowing this, you fucking coward.

“
Okay,
since you seem to have lost the ability to talk, I'll go first,”
she said. She rested her hip against the stove and looked at him.
“How long will he be gone?” she asked.

“
I'm
not sure,” Chase said. “A few days; maybe a week.”

“
It's
pretty serious with Zan … I mean, Alex, isn't it?” she
asked in a soft voice.

“
I
think so, yes, but I'm not a hundred percent positive about him,”
he said.

“
So,
when he gets back to Los Angeles, there could be someone waiting for
him?”

Chase
shook his head. “He has no one in L.A. and we agreed there'd
be no one else … until we figure things out.”

“
What's
to figure out, Chase?”

He scratched head and
sighed. “Danni, I really like being with him, and I'm not just
talking about the sex. I'd like to try and figure out a way to keep
him in our lives.”

“
I'd
like to talk about the sex,” Danni said. “I can tell by
the way you look at each other, something pretty significant happened
between you two.”

“
What
do you want to know?” Chase asked.

“
I
want to know how far you took this,” she said.

He stared at her in thought;
his lips partially opened, eyes blinking.

“
Say
something, Chase, and be honest.”

“
I've
always been honest with you, Danni.”

“
Well,
your honestly is really important right now,” she said. “Have
you been sleeping with him every night?”

“
Not
every night,” he said. “But we've spent a lot of time
together over the last few weeks.”

“
Are
you fucking him?” she asked.

His eyes widened at her
bluntness. “Yes.”

“
Is
he fucking you?”

“
Once,”
Chase said in a soft voice. “He's a bottom and prefers …”

“
A
bottom? What the hell does that mean?” Danni asked.

Chase cleared his throat.
He was starting to sweat. “A bottom is a guy that prefers to
be fucked than … do it to another guy.”

Danni squeezed her eyes
closed. She wondered how they had veered so far off the path they
were once on and if they'd ever find their way back to where they
were. She opened her eyes and looked at Chase. He didn't look
different and he sure as hell acted the same, so why did everything
feel so different to her. Tears began to build in her eyes. She
blinked to try and get rid of the extra moisture.

“
So,
now you know the lingo,” she said softly.

“
What
do you mean?” he asked.

Danni shook her head. She
looked at her bare feet for a minute, then lifted her head. “Did
you like it?” she finally asked.

“
Did
I like what?” he asked.

“
Getting
fucked by Alex, fucking him; all of it.”

“
Holy
Christ, Danni,” he said, massaging his forehead. “Yeah,
I liked it. A lot. Does knowing that change something for you?”

Danni
drew in a long breath. “I just never thought in a million
years I'd be asking my fiancé if he enjoyed fucking his male
lover. That's all. I can't believe this is where we are right now
in our relationship. Instead of making wedding plans, we're caught
up in you coming out as a bi-sexual man. It's a little overwhelming,
Chase. Can you understand why I'd feel like that?”

Chase took a seat at the
kitchen table and rested his head in his hands. “I'm so sorry,
Danni,” he said.

“
And,
what about condoms?” she blurted. “Considering who he
is, I don't even want to think about what kind of STD's he might
already have or what he's been exposed to – and if you've
exposed me to something he's got …”

“
Jesus,
Danni! Of course we used condoms! He gets tested every six months
and he's clean.”

“
Excuse
me for sounding so accusatory, Chase, but this is my life you're
fucking with, too!”

A pause fell between them;
one long moment with each of them struggling to control their
emotions. Chase was the first to speak, his voice so soft Danni had
to lean in to hear him.

“
This
wasn't planned, you know that, but in some ways meeting Alex has been
a blessing.”

“
How
do you see this as a blessing?”

“
Because,
for the first time in my life … I feel like myself,” he
said.

“
Forgive
me for not calling the party planner to schedule something for you,
Chase,” she said.

“
Danni,
please don't …”

“
Don't
what? You don't want me to fight for the man I was living with
before I went to Colorado?”

Chase
spread his hands out on the cool table top and closed his eyes tight.
“The man you're referring to was living a lie. Is that what
you want? Would you rather I go back and live with half of myself
and be unhappy?”

Danni pulled out the chair
beside Chase and sat down in it. “You're almost thirty years
old, Chase! How do you live that long and not see any clues you're a
bi-sexual man?”

“
There
were clues, Danni! Lots of them; which I chose to ignore because I
didn't want to face it.”