Take What You Want (16 page)

“
That's
because he's openly gay.”

“
He's
not gay, Danni. He loves being with women just as much as he loves
men.”

“
So,
he's bi-sexual – like you.”

“
Yeah,
I guess that's what I am,” he said. “And for some reason
I feel like I should apologize to you for that, but admitting this
also feels like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Can
you understand that?”

Another long pause and Chase
thought his head might explode.

“
Danni,
please,” he said. “Don't shut me out. Talk to me.”

“
You
just don't see this as being a problem, do you?” she asked.
“Goody for you, you've admitted you want to fuck men, but where
the hell does that leave the couple we used to be? What happens to
that? Am I supposed to turn the other way when you want to run off
and sleep with men or will you bring them home and ask me to take off
for the night? How does this work, Chase? Will it be like college,
with you hanging a sock or a towel on the door knob as a signal
you're inside fucking a guy. And when I want you to fuck me, will I
have to make an appointment for that?”

“
Stop
it,” Chase said. “You're talking crazy.”

“
You
think I'm talking crazy? Seriously, Chase?” she asked.
“You're telling me you want to sleep with men – in
addition to me, and I'm trying to figure out a way this could
possibly work, and you think
I'm
the one talking crazy?”

“
What
do you want me to do?” he asked.

The silence was too long and
louder than Chase could have imagined silence could ever be.

“
I
want you to follow your heart,” she said, “And, I'm going
to stay here and do my best to get this session of classes done and
come home. Then, you and I are going to have a lot to figure out.”

“
How
much longer 'til you come home, Danni?” he asked.

“
Too
long,” she sighed, “And, that hurts, because a part of me
feels I've already lost you.”

“
You
will
never
lose me, babe. Never.”

“
That's
what you say now,” she said. “But, I honestly don't see
how this is going to work. You know I have an open mind about sexual
things – obviously, otherwise us sleeping with Allison never
would have happened, but this? This is … I don't know. It's
a lot to deal with – even for me.”

“
Tell
me about it,” he said.

A few minutes later, Chase
ended their phone call. His heart ached for what this was doing to
Danni and he hoped their relationship was strong enough to work
through it. Problem was, he didn't know how to fix something he
wasn't sure he wanted fixed. The physical connection he felt with
Alex was off the charts and after their night together he could feel
an emotional attachment beginning, too, and that wasn't good.
Emotions couldn't play a part in this. His heart belonged to Danni's
and no one else. But, he'd never felt an attraction to another man
the way he did for Alex. It was that certain something Alex had
about him that drew Chase close, made him feel comfortable in his own
skin, and the rest was bliss.

Could he give up something
that felt this good? He wasn't sure he could and he certainly knew
he didn't want to. Walking away from Alex now, when things were just
heating up, seemed like an impossible feat. There were still so many
things he wanted to experience. What if this was his one and only
opportunity to be with a man?

Chase sighed loudly. He had
a lot of thinking to do about this newly discovered facet of his
sexuality and how he saw his future with Danni playing out in the
years ahead. Would his bi-sexuality be a factor in his future or
would Danni expect him to suppress it? For once he was grateful to
have the distraction of work to head off to on Monday. It would give
his mind a break from obsessing on what was happening in his private
life. He was also happy Alex had guests to keep him busy. That
would give Chase some time to regroup and determine how he wanted to
proceed.

It might be a mixed blessing
if Alex displayed no further interest in being with him, Chase
thought. That would solve a multitude of the issues now in his life,
but it wouldn't erase the fact that what he'd already done with Alex
didn't come close to scratching the itch he had for the man.

Danni
rolled over in bed and glanced at the bedside clock. She cursed at
the realization she had missed another Pilates class. What did that
make for the week – two or three she'd skipped? At the rate
she was going, she wouldn't have enough hours accumulated to finish
the class. And then what? She'd have to come back and retake the
entire session.

Danni
sighed loudly. Right now, her goal to own and run her own Pilates
Center was further away than ever. It felt like she was destined to
remain in this state of limbo, going nowhere; her only option being
to forever work for other people in Pilates centers she knew she
could run more efficiently.

That
wasn't the fucking plan, she thought, turning onto her back and
pressing the heels of her hands into her eye sockets. She wanted to
blame Chase for the mess his lack of good judgment and self-control
caused, but she couldn't. It was her that had urged him to follow
through with his desire to be with a man and he did. He had done
exactly what she had asked him to do. It wasn't his fault she was
lying in bed with swollen eyes from crying nearly two days straight
and ignoring his repeated phone calls. Nor could she blame him for
something as basic as his sexuality. He was who he was and she loved
him. Didn't she?

“
Damn
it,” she said and forced herself out of bed and walked toward
the bathroom to take a shower.

She needed to get her head
around what was happening between her and Chase; and more
importantly, the new addition of Alex in their lives. Was Alex the
one and only man for Chase or would there now be a continuous line of
men floating in and out of their lives – and their bed? What
would her role be in this? Would she be left on the outside or would
she be expected to sit by and watch Chase get off from a man's touch?

She had been a willing
participant when Allison was invited to their bed and had loved
watching Chase enjoy the pleasure offered by both she and Allison.
Hell, she had even helped Chase roll on a condom and slide inside her
friend. How much more accepting could she possibly be? Would Chase
now want her there to help him penetrate Alex? Would she be as
turned on watching him with Alex as she was while watching him with
Allison?

Another sob escaped her
mouth. She stepped into the shower and tilted her head to catch the
water in her face. This was a shit storm like none she had gone
through before and she had no one to talk to that could possibly
understand except for Chase.

She finished showering and
dressed, then sat down on the edge of her bed. She reached for her
cell phone and stared at it for several long moments, contemplating a
call to Chase, but set the phone back on the table beside the bed
before she weakened and hit the send button. She still wasn't ready
to talk to him. Not yet.

-0-

Chase
was attaching the hose to the side of the guest cottage in
preparation to wash his pick-up truck, when Alex returned to the
house driving a large Land Rover SUV. From his crouched position at
the outside faucet, Chase watched Alex park in front of the closed
garage door and step out of the driver's seat with three of the
members of his band, all looking like the rock stars with varied
lengths of long hair, tattoos, and piercings; not to mention, the
standard black sunglasses covering their eyes.

A
knot tightened in Chase's stomach at the sight of Alex, dressed in
light-weight linen shorts that hung low on his hips and went nearly
to his knees. A tight t-shirt stretched across his chest and gave a
hint of the muscles that hid beneath and flip-flops on his bare feet.
He looked so damn sexy; good enough to eat. The memory of Alex
naked flashed in Chase's brain and stirred arousal in his groin. The
momentary distraction caused him to pinch his finger in the hose
dispenser and he cursed at his clumsiness.

Hidden
by the blooming hydrangeas, Chase watched Alex at the back of the SUV
laughing with his band as he helped them unload their luggage and
guitar cases. He wondered where the Porsche was, then he figured
Alex must have returned it to the car rental agency in favor of the
larger and more functional Land Rover. By far a better choice to
navigate the narrow side roads and get to the best beaches on this
island, Chase thought.

When
he heard the voices drift off into the distance, Chase walked to his
truck and hopped behind the steering wheel. He started the engine
and moved the truck to a turn-around section of the driveway, then
dragged the unrolled hose and bucket filled with soapy water across
the gravel driveway and set everything beside his front bumper.

He wet down the truck with
the water hose, then started scrubbing the hood with a soapy sponge;
sloshing water everywhere, including all over himself. Behind him he
heard the laughter of the guys by the pool and then the splash of
someone jumping into the water.

-0-

From
where he stood on the pool patio, Alex saw the spray of the water
shooting from the hose, and stopped in mid-sentence when a shirtless
Chase washing his truck came into view. The swim-shorts he wore were
nearly falling off his narrow hips, exposing the end of his tan line
at his lower back and the beginning of his paler, very muscled ass.
Alex remembered the feel of that tight ass beneath his fingertips and
mouth and nearly lost his mind.

“
Shit,”
Alex said softly, but loud enough for his friend Wheland to hear.

Wheland
followed Alex's line of vision and smiled. “Is that the guy
you were fucking around with when I called?”
“Yeah,”
Alex sighed, elongating the word. “I mean, no … I don't
know what you're talking about.”

“
Right,”
Wheland laughed. “Tell me, does he look as good from the front
as he does the back?”

“
He
looks good coming and going.”

“
Especially
the coming?” Wheland asked.

Alex tore his eyes away from
Chase's backside and looked at Wheland, doing his best to keep his
smirk as discrete as possible. “I wouldn't know about the
coming.”

“
Liar,”
Wheland said with a snicker. “I know you too well, my friend
and even if I didn't, that stupid look on your face gives you away.”

Alex's gaze went back to
Chase, mesmerized by the way the sun played off the ridges of muscle
on his back, as he stretched and flexed to wash his vehicle. He
remembered how good every inch of the man felt and tasted, then
wondered when he might get the chance to do it all again. That
thought had his cock beginning to thicken in his shorts.

“
Fuck,”
Alex said.

“
That
bad – or that good?” Wheland asked.

“
Mind-blowing,”
Alex said. He turned away from Chase and began to walk to the patio
table and chairs.

“
That
being said, now I'm gonna need details,” Wheland said,
following Alex toward the table.

“
Nope,
I got nothing to say,” Alex said.

“
What
the fuck?” Wheland asked. “You know I have to live
vicariously through you.”

“
I
think you do all right by yourself,” Alex said. He pulled out
a chair at the patio table and plunked himself down into it. He
reached into a cooler beside his chair and pulled out four bottles of
beer. He looked toward the pool and watched Jared and Cooper
playfully trying to drown each other. He slipped his thumb and index
finger into his mouth and whistled. The shrill sound stopped both
water-logged men mid-dunking and Alex dangled a beer in his hand at
them.

The noise also made Chase
spin around and face the pool area and Alex's breath caught at the
sudden sight of Chase's tanned chest and stomach. For a moment,
everything else around him faded, except for the chiseled physique of
Chase. Alex felt his mouth water and swallowed hard.