Secrets of My Hollywood Life #4: Paparazzi Princess (2 page)

"The one with all the great bangle bracelets?" Ava asks.

"That's the one," I tell her.

"I love that store!" Ava gushes. "One time I spent an hour just trying on bracelets."

"My sister's done that," Matty interjects.

"Hey, have you ever been to --" Ava stops short at the sound of a camera flash.

Everyone turns around and we see a tall, bony photographer in a sand-colored tee and camo shorts hiding behind a nearby bush. Where did he come from? I haven't seen a single paparazzi all week. Rodney makes a swift move to rustle him up. Even in ninety-five-degree heat, Rodney is wearing a black tee and black jeans and looks completely terrifying in those Terminator glasses.

Before Rodney reaches the photog, Ava screams, "Gary, get over here! Where have you been hiding out? I told you I was parasailing at two sharp."

"You know him?" Rodney points menacingly.

"Know him? I invited him," Ava replies. "He's sending my parasailing pictures to X17, aren't you, Gary, my love?"

"Anything for you, Ava," Gary says, as he continues to snap pictures. "Hey, how about one with your friend here?"

Matty jumps in front of me and puts his arm around Lauren.

"I meant the ladies," Gary says.

"Typical," Matty mumbles.

"What do you say, Kaitlin?" Ava asks. "One picture?"

"Make it two," I tell her, looking at my brother. "As long as one includes Matty."

We're in the middle of posing for the second shot -- which is more like the twenty-second since Gary shoots so fast -- when I hear a familiar voice.

"Kaitlin? Matty? Where are you?" It's Mom and she doesn't sound happy. Calou must hear her too because he starts to growl again. I look around. My parents aren't on the beach boardwalk, but they must be close by.

"We should go." I grab Matty's arm roughly. "It was good seeing you guys."

"What are you doing later? We're having a little party at my cabana," Ava says, oblivious to the yelling coming from the bushes. Any minute Mom and Dad are going to push through those palms and come face-to-face with us.

"Thanks," I say hurriedly, "but I have some studying to do. My SATs are in another month and I'm so behind." My personal assistant, Nadine, who is very pro-education, bought me these practice books and I've been lugging them to the beach every day. Even so, how are you supposed to memorize thousands of words for one test?

"Nerd," Matty mutters under his breath.

But Lauren and Ava don't look offended. Lauren looks sympathetic. "That's smart. I have my GEDs next month and I haven't even opened a textbook yet."

"We'll take a rain check." Ava smiles. "Maybe we can meet up in L.A.?"

"That sounds good," I say distractedly as my parents' voices -- and Calou's barking -- grow louder.

Ava, Lauren, and Gary make their exit just in time. Two seconds later, Mom and Dad emerge between two palm trees and step onto the boardwalk. Mom's honey-highlighted hair is hidden under a wide-brimmed straw hat, and her beach cover-up conceals her beautiful, size-four Prada bathing suit. She's wearing oversized black Gucci shades, but if I could see her eyebrows, I know they'd be raised in annoyance. Dad towers over her in a Tommy Bahama shirt, navy Calvin Klein swim trunks and a frown so sullen I'm afraid it's been tattooed to his face.

"Your father and I have been looking everywhere for you two!" Mom points a pink manicured finger in our direction. "Are you trying to kill me before I turn forty?"

"Aren't you forty-two?" Matty asks. I elbow him in the ribs. "OUCH!"

"We were just taking a tour around the island with Pierre," I tell her in my best sweet-as-pie Sam voice. "We should have told you where we were going."

"Don't actor us, Kaitlin," Mom says coolly. "We saw your limited-edition Dolce & Gabbana bikini flying over the island when your father and I were coming back from our scuba lesson."

Oops.

"How did you and Matt get past the waiver?" Dad wants to know.

Matty and I look at each other guiltily. Then Rodney coughs, which makes Mom give him the evil eye as he's gathering up our swim bags. We silently begin the short walk back to our golf cart, which will take us back to The Residence, the private villa where we're staying. The Residence is a five-bedroom mansion with two three-bedroom villas that is about a seven-minute buggy ride from the main Parrot Cay resort. The place has a full kitchen with butler service, an indoor and outdoor dining area, a media room with a plasma TV and DVD player, and a deck with a heated swimming pool and beachfront access. Anyone can stay at the world-renowned resort, but it's usually Hollywood folk and computer geeks with cash to burn that ante up the $16,500 a night price tag. Which leads me to the first of many new secrets I want to spill.

HOLLYWOOD SECRET NUMBER ONE: Where do stars vacation? To be honest, the same places you do. We head to Hawaii or the Caribbean for a good tan, the mountains for the fresh powder and ski action, and Europe when we want a change of scenery. But the reason you probably don't bump into us is because of how discreetly we travel. While some stars go commercial first-class (Brad Pitt and myself included), many prefer private jets. And as for where we stay, when we want a little R&R and very few autograph requests, we pick high-end resorts known for their zipped-lips staff and guarded quarters to keep the prying eyes of the paparazzi away.

"Parasailing is like driving a Ferrari." Dad's tone is strict as he begins to reprimand us, slipping into an analogy from his car salesman days. "Sure, it's exciting, but if you get in a fender bender, the car will never be the same. Need I remind both of you that you're under contract with
Family Affair
whether you're on vacation or not? I don't think you're allowed to do something this dangerous! If one of you got hurt there would be huge repercussions."

"Sorry," Matty and I mumble at the same time.

"You should be," Mom says, sounding exasperated. "At least if I knew, I could have had Laney set up some sort of exclusive with
Access Hollywood
!"

Matty and I look at each other. Then we look at Rodney and the three of us burst out laughing. Mom and Dad look at each other and start laughing too.

"Mom, I love you, but you're insane!" Matty hiccups, holding his stomach. "Work is all you think about!"

My mother has been my manager since I started my career. When Matty got into the business a few years ago, she became his as well. Mom says that no one would be able to look out for our interests as well as she does, but Nadine thinks my mom is obsessed with my career and that her managing style suffocates me. I don't think she's
that
bad, but sometimes I do worry my mom is more concerned with whether I win a Kids Choice Award than how I do on a chemistry test.

Mom is still laughing pretty hard. "I can't help it. My brain is hardwired to be your manager and when I see an opportunity, I have to take it!"

"We're on vacation," I remind her. "This is why we confiscated your cell phone."

"Sweetie, that's not enough to keep your mother away from Hollywood," Dad hoots. "She's had a backup phone on her the entire time." Mom blushes furiously.

"Speaking of calls, you've had a few while you've been flying over the island." Mom holds up my cell phone. I was so nervous about parasailing I guess I left it back in the villa. "Liz called from Hawaii and Austin called and said he'd see you after work on Monday." She raises her eyebrow again.

"I missed Austin and Lizzie," I groan. I've spoken to Austin every day, but with the major time difference I've only spoken to Liz three times. She sounds like she's having fun, though. She met this girl from Los Angeles the other day and they were going hiking together.

"More importantly, Seth called from Vail. He needs to talk to you."

Seth is my agent and for him to be calling me from his first vacation in three years, it must be major. Everyone I know is away this week. Hollywood sort of shuts down in late December and Los Angeles becomes a ghost town. Nadine is visiting her family in Chicago; my publicist, Laney, jetted to Cabo with "Drew and Cameron"; and Liz and her dad, my entertainment lawyer, are island-hopping in Hawaii. With no one left to bug, Mom and Dad even let us leave town (especially after they found out the Beckhams cancelled their New Year's Eve party).

"Did he say what he wanted?" I ask.

"Now that vacation is over, he wants to set up a meeting to discuss your post-
FA
plans," Mom explains. "He says we have to move if you want a chance at a new show."

"Already?" I squeak. I promised to make decisions about my future after this break, but I didn't realize we'd be diving in so soon. "I can't believe we have to worry about a new job. I'll still be taping the show for another few months."

"Your decade-plus of regular paychecks is running out soon," Dad jokes. "Where do you think we're going to get the money for our next luxurious, private villa-style vacation if you don't find a new project for me to produce, Matty to star in, or Mom to manage you on?"

Mom and Matty laugh, but the joke feels like a punch in the stomach. I never thought about my
FA
career in that way before, but I guess Dad has an unsettling point. I've been this family's breadwinner for a long time and soon I'll be unemployed. What happens if I don't find the next
Ugly Betty
or a
Harry Potter
franchise to carry my family for a few years? Will I have to let Rodney go? Give up Nadine? Yikes. Now I'm getting depressed.

"We should probably set something up for next week," Mom is saying. "I want to find your next project and announce it as soon as possible." I nod.

"Okay then," Dad says as we reach the golf cart we've been using to get to and from the main resort. "Let's get back to the villa, wash up, and rendezvous back at the cart at seven PM for our last dinner in paradise." He smiles at me. "You better enjoy it, kiddo. I have a feeling the next few months are going to be a blur."

I smile weakly. I thought I'd have time to get used to all these changes, but I feel like I just stepped onto an express bus speeding toward the end of
FA
. I just hope when I make the final stop, I'm ready to get off.

Friday, January 2

NOTE TO SELF:

Call Seth back.

Look up definition of aerostat. Pack SAT books 4 the plane ride!

Saturday flight home: 4 PM

Monday: FA calltime 6 AM

Movies w/A: after work, time TBA

FA20015 "The Beginning of the End"

(CONTINUED)

12. INT. BUCHANAN MANOR KITCHEN--DAY

The kitchen island is covered with a large breakfast spread. It's a bright, sunny, Sunday morning and PAIGE, SAMANTHA, and SARA are in high spirits after a round of tennis.

SARA

What's with the lavish breakfast? No offense, but I usually just eat a banana.

PAIGE

I thought it would be nice if the four of us had breakfast together. We're all running in different directions lately. I feel like I never see you girls.

SAMANTHA

Same goes for you, you know. What's with all these secret rendezvous with Dad? I still can't believe you two flew off last weekend and didn't say where you were going.

SARA

They're always whispering on the terrace too. What's up with that?

DENNIS walks in wearing a dark suit and carrying a briefcase.

DENNIS

Good morning, my beautiful ladies. (He kisses each of them.) I guess it's time we 'fess up. There's a reason your mom and I have been so covert lately. (He looks at Paige.) I've been asked to become the CEO of the Bluestone Group. They're building an advanced computer technology system for NASA.

SAMANTHA

(Sam hugs him.) Dad, that's incredible! This is what you've always dreamed of doing!

PAIGE

This is an amazing opportunity for your father, girls, but before you get too excited, there's something else you should know. The company is based in Miami.

SARA

Cool! Can I come with you sometimes? I hear they have great shopping in South Beach.

DENNIS

Well, it wouldn't be to visit, Sara. If I take this, we'd have to move there full-time. I can't run a company this size via satellite and BlackBerry.

SAMANTHA

(shocked) You're joking, right?

PAIGE

We need a change, girls. Your father and I have felt this way for a long time. After everything that's happened this past year, and the Buchanan Manor fire a few years ago, we want to make a fresh start and we feel this opportunity is the way to do it.

SARA

You can only have a fresh start if you move to Miami?

DENNIS

You girls are going to be off to college in two years and then it will just be your mom and me. We have to think about our future too.

SARA

What about the future of Buchanan Enterprises? Or Granddaddy? He needs your help running the company, Dad. And Mom, what about Aunt Krystal and Aunt Penelope?

PAIGE

We've thought about all of these things, girls, but the truth is, sometimes you have to take control of your own life and to do that you have to put your own needs first.

SAMANTHA

(choked up) That's it then, isn't it? This isn't some big family meeting where we all get to take a vote. You two have already decided!

PAIGE

If this is about Ryan, he can visit whenever he wants. You'll work it out.

SAMANTHA

This isn't just about Ryan! It's everything! How could make us move during junior year?

SARA

It's not like schools in Miami don't have a yearbook committee, Sam.

SAMANTHA

(to Sara) How could you be okay with this? I thought you loved living here!

SARA

I do, but South Beach is electric. I could work on my tan, meet some cute boys . . .

SAMANTHA

(snaps) You can do those things here.

PAIGE

I'm surprised at you, Sam. If anything, I thought Sara would give us a tougher time with this decision. You're always up for trying new things.

SAMANTHA

This is different! I'm not going. Aunt Krystal or Granddaddy will let me stay with them.