Authors: Nicola Haken
“Um…” I shook my head.
“I do. I always will. It wasn’t intentional, if I remember correctly I banged my head on your guardrail after I dropped my pen. It stung like a mother but your twisted inner bitch seemed to find it very amusing!”
“Oh yeah,” I remembered, laughing all over again. “You looked so pissed!”
“That’s because it hurt! But before that moment, I’d only ever seen fear…
hopelessness
in your eyes. Then that day, for a few brief moments… I saw
you
. You caught me, Amy… and no matter how hard I tried, I just wasn’t strong enough to pull away.”
I smiled warmly, gratefully… utterly beguiled.
“Thank you.” His eyebrow responded, letting me know he was confused. “For trusting me… for
loving
me.”
“No, baby, thank
you.
For staying.”
“Richard, know that anything you’ve just told me doesn’t change how I feel about you. I can’t change how you feel about yourself, but I
know
you are a good, honest man. People fuck up – granted sometimes with disastrous consequences, but it doesn’t have to define who we are.”
Christ, when did I swallow a therapist’s textbook? As much as I hoped my insightful words offered Richard some sense of comfort I was sure my own subconscious would take a little more convincing.
“I want to tell you something too,” I said after a few long minutes of contemplative calm.
“Anything,” he replied as he leaned in to inhale the scent of my hair.
“The night I was admitted to hospital? I didn’t fall…” I admitted for the very first time. I couldn’t bear to look at him as I spoke, overcome with crushing feelings of guilt and shame. But I
needed
him to know. Now, he was the only person in the whole world who knew me absolutely.
When I eventually summoned enough courage to lift my head and face him he opened his mouth, inhaling sharply as if he were about to speak. I silenced him by placing a finger over his perfectly soft lips.
“Please, you don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know.” He held onto me with his whole body, pulling me in at the waist with his strong, protective arms and twisting his legs around mine.
“You don’t ever have to feel like that again,” he assured, his voice gruff and shaky.
We lay together for what could’ve been forever. Two guilt-ridden souls, laid bare in every sense of the word – both silently begging to be saved.
My mind woke up but my exhausted eyes were welded shut. When I eventually managed to prize them open they flipped their focus to the dark wood pendulum clock on the wall opposite. It was 8:15 in the morning.
Ugh.
I must’ve had about two hours sleep.
When I felt the mattress beside me Richard’s side of the bed was empty and cold – the only sign of him being a head shaped impression in his pillow. I turned straight to the bedside table and took one of the contraceptive pills I’d started taking a couple of weeks earlier. This was my new morning ritual. I had to do it the second I woke up because I was sure if I didn’t I would forget.
Feeling lonely all by myself in such a mammoth bed I reluctantly clambered to my
feet,
grabbed one of the fluffy white complementary gowns from the en-suite and set off in search of him.
I still couldn’t acclimatise to the sheer size of the place. It was a whole apartment in its own right, minus a kitchen. Though it wouldn’t have surprised me if I found one hiding somewhere. I casually started to wonder just how much access Richard had to his parents’ finances. I wasn’t sure how much his own salary was worth but I was almost certain he lived beyond an average doctor’s means.
After making my way down the spiral staircase I found Richard in the larger part of the living room, sitting at the large oak dining suite and helping
himself
to food from a silver cart that definitely wasn’t there when we went to bed. I stopped in my tracks for a moment, admiring him from afar. He looked completely edible, even with bed-hair, morning stubble peppered across his chin and a hotel
gown which
was gaping open at the top, exposing his defined chest.
Yum.
He stopped humming along to the music trickling from the speakers behind him when he caught my eye and motioned me to join him with a wave of his hand.
“Croissant?” he asked, taking two from a silver salver and placing them on separate gold-rimmed porcelain plates.
“I’d rather go back to bed.” He raised an eyebrow and flashed me a deliciously suggestive grin. “I meant to sleep,” I clarified through a yawn before becoming unable to stop myself from giggling.
“Well you can’t. You have a busy day ahead.”
‘I’
have
a busy day ahead?
“You need to eat, shower and be ready for ten-thirty.”
Yes sir!
I mentally saluted him.
“Where are we going?” I asked inquisitively as I joined him at the table, peeling open my croissant ready to smother it with jam.
“That’d be telling,” he said craftily, throwing a salacious wink my way and leaving me more intrigued than ever.
Eager to get ready for my surprise I rushed breakfast and headed to the wet room to take a shower. It was a fairly small – yes,
small
– room in comparison to the rest of the suite, tiled floor to ceiling in shimmering white granite. I stood, weary and naked in the centre of the room, absorbing the powerful spray of steaming water which rained from the ceiling above me.
Closing my eyes I let the reviving water wash over my tired face. Then my entire body stiffened, momentarily startled, when I felt two strong muscular arms wrap around my waist. Richard pulled me into him, my back to his front, and swept the damp hair from my neck before kissing along the
vein which
was now very awake and throbbing with desire.
My eyes still closed, I felt him bend down to the freestanding shelf unit beside us and select
a complimentary
shower soap. He squeezed it liberally into his palm and worked it into a warm, foamy later between his fingers before smothering the full length of my naked body with it – massaging the citrus fragranced crème into my skin and following the trace of his touch with kisses.
I spun myself round to face him, needing to see him. The sight of him - his deliciously wet, naked body smothered in thousands of tiny, reflective drops of water, his vibrant green eyes blazing with need… it charged my veins with hunger. Hunger for
him.
Automatically I reached up and cupped his face in my hands, my eyes absorbing every visible inch of him. Then I splayed my fingers into his dripping, auburn hair and pulled him into me.
My heart was pounding, thrashing against the walls of my chest. My breathing was ragged. Every inch over my over-sensitised skin was tingling with that mysterious charge that never failed to invade the atmosphere between us. My body never seemed to tire of him. The more I got to touch him, to taste him, inhale him… the more I wanted him. The more I
needed
him.
Teasing entry into his mouth with my tongue I kissed him hard – bursting with passion and longing. Then in one lithe movement he lifted me, hitching my legs up and around his waist. I wrapped my arms around his neck for support and I could feel the veins in his neck throbbing as hard and fast as mine. Taking us away from the cascade of water lashing over us, he carried me to the edge of the room and forced my back into the smooth, wet tiles – the ice-cold granite sending delicious shivers down my spine.
My head threw itself backwards, exposing the pulsing, desirous vein in my neck. I clutched Richard close to me with all my strength, my fingernails boring into the flesh on the back of his neck as he buried his face in my chest. Within seconds he thrust himself deep inside me, warming the tiles along my spine as he glided my hot, moist skin up and down against them.
“I love you so much, baby,” he whispered through gritted teeth. My breathing was too erratic to respond with words. Instead, I moved faster against him, supporting my weight with my arms across his strapping shoulders. “So. Fucking. Much.”
That beautiful sensation – the sensation only Richard has ever given to me – started to build, growing desperate and heavy between my legs until it was almost unbearable.
“Come on, baby,” he muttered harshly straight into my ear… and it undid me completely. My whole body shuddered violently, the vice grip my legs had around him becoming too weak to support me. “Fuck, Amy,” Richard cried as he pounded impossibly hard into me for the very last time. Then he lowered me to the floor with trembling arms, my sweltering skin welcoming the coolness that the lower down tiles still possessed as I slid gently against them.
“I love you too,” I finally murmured. Suddenly, nestling into Richard’s damp chest without the steaming water or the heat of passion warming my veins, I was freezing.
“You’re shivering. Let’s get you dressed.” Richard stood and offered his hand for me to take. He pulled me upright, shut the water off and then wrapped my cold, exposed body in a soft white towel from the heated rail. It felt heavenly – almost as comforting as Richard’s arms… but not quite.
After throwing a towel a little less meticulously around his own waist he led me to the bedroom by the hand before opening the set of fitted, cherry-wood closets. Inside all the new unnecessary clothes from my suitcase were hanging neatly. I wondered when he’d found time to do this as I stepped closer to choose an outfit. The vast array of strappy tees and vests seemingly answered my question about the Florida climate. Judging this closet, the weather must be hot even at this time of year – though our suite’s air-con gave nothing away.
I eventually settled on a pair of ivory boot-cut pants, cerise spaghetti-strap top and flat black sandals. Noticing the time – 10:10 AM – I threw them on quickly. There was only twenty minute to spare before the big reveal and I still had to do my hair.
Where is he taking me?
After running the compact travel dryer over my damp hair I swiftly scraped the blonde mess into a loose ponytail. Then I applied the bare minimum of makeup required to make me look presentable and skipped to the living room to join Richard. I found him standing by the window, dressed impeccably in smart black slacks and a lilac pinstripe shirt with a rich purple tie. Following his gaze I noticed he was staring wistfully towards a picturesque lake ahead. Is that where we were going?
“You look perfect,” he complimented when he turned and noticed me loitering in the doorway. I felt anything but. I wasn’t used to wearing such bright colours –
any
colours for that matter. My wardrobe had always tended to colour coordinate with my mood; black, grey… brown if I felt like mixing things up a little.
“So, where are we going?” I asked curiously, feeling a little underdressed next to his full-on business attire.
“
I’m
going to the medical centre. I’ve been asked to head a meeting there this morning.”
What about me?
My brow dropped along with my heart. “Ready for your surprise?” he asked eagerly with a wicked glint in his eyes.
No,
my disenchanted subconscious piped up. Some surprise if he wasn’t even going to be with me.
“Come with me,” Bossy Doctor said before striding forwards to take my hand. He led me to the door and then paused, rummaging through his pockets. “Here’s the room key.” He passed me a little blue card. “And here’s some money. If you need any more the safe combination is nine two six three.” Grudgingly I swept the cash from his hand.
Any more?
There was easily five hundred dollars here. I couldn’t help the
pout which suddenly took
over my face. I felt like a prostitute.
I need my own money…
“Oops, almost forgot this,” he tacked on.
Forgot what?
His hands were empty. But then, cupping my face in his warm hands he planted a soft, lingering kiss on my lips.
Wow.
In that moment, all my frustration melted away.
Richard led me down to the lobby and it appeared we were heading in the direction of the hotel bar. I glanced up at his face, searching for clues in his expression and I was met with that beautifully irritating wicked grin of his. He was so obviously pleased with himself about something.
But what?
We hovered outside the arched glass doors that led inside the bar. Richard glanced at his watch then pulled his cell from his trouser pocket before tapping away at the screen. My feet drummed impatiently against the marble floor. I was getting increasingly frustrated.
And nervous.
And sad that I wouldn’t be spending the day with him.
“We’re all set,” he said, looking up from his cell. “Go meet your surprise!” he said with a mischievous wink, extending his hand into the bar as he opened the heavy glass door. My eyes wandered eagerly into the bar. My body followed shortly after. I scanned the room starting from the far left and when I reached the centre I spotted my surprise.
“Julie!” I screamed, catapulting myself across the room and throwing myself onto her with outstretched arms.
“Jeez, Louise!” she said when I almost knocked her over. “Steady, girl!”
“Sorry! I’m just so happy to see you! What are you even doing here?” My arms were still wrapped around her. I didn’t want to let her go.
“I was invited,” she said, nodding her head towards something behind me. Releasing her, I followed her gaze – landing on Richard. For the first time, I had completely forgotten his existence. How did he contact her? How did he know where she lived? I must’ve have told him, though I didn’t remember. Eventually I dismissed all my questions, deciding I didn’t care. Julie was here.
I
was here. Everything else was irrelevant.