Rock and Roll Never Forgets (The Rock and Roll Trilogy) (19 page)

She sat, quietly staring at him. She heard the words, but somehow it didn
’
t change the way she felt. Still the tabloid crap, lack of privacy, and yes, that insecurity she allowed to keep her from feeling secure. She didn
’
t say anything; she couldn
’
t, so she listened.

“
Andy took the first flight he could get this morning. We
’
re picking him up at the airport. Come on.” He reached for her hand.

“
No, you go on. I need to drive home. I need time. I need to think.”

“Come on. I’
ll get your car back. Go with me.”

“
No,” Beth said firmly.

She got her purse and car keys.
“No,” she said once more, “I’
ll see you both at the house. I need to get cleaned up. I didn
’
t have clean clothes to put on when I showered. I want to go home. I
’
ll be there when you get there.”

Reluctantly he left her.

She drove with the windows open, no radio on, and allowed her mind to race. It was cool, and the wind whipping through the car invigorated her. She was only about two hours away from home, but it seemed so much further. When she got there she showered again and was ready for Andy and Roddy when they arrived.

Andy rushed through the door and grabbed her. The force of him frightened her, not that he would intentionally hurt her, just that he might break her with the might with which he grabbed her.

“
I’
m sorry,” she said, and tried to back away,
“
sorry that I worried everyone, sorry that I jumped to conclusions.”

Andy didn
’
t say anything, but he didn
’
t let her go
,
either. He just held her, as if he was afraid to let her go. It was just after two in the afternoon. Roddy left them and headed toward the kitchen. Finally Andy let go and kissed her forehead
.

“
I
’
m the one who’s sorry,” he said.
“
I should have told you that I ran into them so that if something like this did happen you
’
d be prepared. I got busy and didn
’
t think a thing about it. I talked to you yesterday morning before your doctor appointment.”

“
You talked to me the night before you left for Europe with her too, Andy.” She reminded him, fighting the tears.

“
OK, I deserved that,
”
he said sadly.

“
I just…” and the tears came in a flood.

Roddy came back into the room, it was a beautiful day. He opened the glass doors, and a bottle of wine, poured, and handed them both a glass. A light breeze was blowing and it was refreshing. She needed the air.

“I’ll go and give you some time,” Roddy said. He went to Beth, gently placing his hand on her cheek. It was a comforting gesture. Then he kissed the top of her head and left them.

They sat in silence for a long time, neither knowing what to say. Finally Andy pulled her into his arms.
“
Bethy, what can I do to make this easier for you?”

“
I don
’t know, Andy, really, I don’
t know. I always feel like I
’
m waiting.”

“
Waiting for what sweetheart?” he asked sadly, hurting for her.

“To wake up and find this was all a dream, for you to not be there anymore, for the bottom to fall out, again,” she said, sadly.

He stroked her hair and held her. They finished the wine, walked up the stairs arm in arm to their bedroom, and did what they did best.

Another
‘
silly misunderstanding
’
in the end, but
I
knew it was
my
insecurity, always
my
insecurity.

~ ~ ~

Spring arrived and brought a trip to Eleuthera. It was a short trip to celebrate Edwina’s life. She passed away peacefully in her sleep at eighty-four years young. They were both very sad to lose her. Over the years she became a good friend to Andy, and then to Beth. She was part of their extended family, and they loved her. The service was a beautiful celebration, not mourning. There was singing and food and laughter
.

             
Beth thought about the service,
‘
I hope and pray when my time comes it
’
s like that.
’

Eleuthera was alive with spring color. The Bougainvillea was ablaze in shades of pink and fuchsia, a fitting tribute for their loving friend. Her daughter Shirley agreed to assume the care of the cottage, which they both knew meant caring for them as well. It just seemed right to ask her, and she seemed pleased that they did
.

They stayed to relax for a few days. Beth pulled a lounge chair into the sun, relaxed and baked – it was warm, not yet hot, and it felt wonderful to her. Andy kept an electric keyboard there and worked on music. Beth loved it there, they were completely alone, and it was nice. It was quiet and she loved those quiet times with Andy the best.

April 21, 1986 ~
Sometimes I wish we could just stay right here on the island forever. The morning walks on the beach are so peaceful, so calming, I never
want to leave once we are here.

~ ~ ~

The next months were quiet, calm down-time. There were no albums, no tours, no travel, and no guests. It was just Andy and Beth settling in at hom
e, enjoying the peace and quiet
.

August 8, 1986 ~
It
’
s so rare, kind of like Tiramisu, one of my favorite desserts. When I get it, I love it, but I don
’
t have it near enough
!

Beth relished every moment, and wished it could just stay that way, but she knew that the life Andy chose would call soon and they would roll back into the crazy chaos that they had lived together for the last eight and a half years.

‘
Really, has it been that long?
’
she wondered. There were times it seemed like it was just yesterday, and times it seemed a lifetime had passed; and suddenly
,
there were times when she wondered if it would always be that way.

~ ~ ~

On Saint Patrick’s Day, Beth woke to a room bright with sunlight. The blinds and the glass doors were open, allowing the light in. The smell of fresh coffee and the sweet, salty smell of the bay filled the room as a light breeze blew.

She turned to find Andy stretched out beside her, propped up on his elbow. She stretched lazily, and then sat up and pushed the hair from her face and the sleep from her eyes.

“What’
cha doin’? she asked. Looking around, she saw the carafe of coffee on the table beside a vase filled with Calla Lilies. The coffee was usually there if Andy woke first, but the flowers were a surprise.

“Watching you… Do you know how beautiful those eyes are when they first open but are still full of sleep?” He pushed hair back from her face with a soft caress. It was a comforting, familiar gesture, and she curled into him as he wrapped her in his arms. They lay like that just a moment and finally, Andy rose and went to get the coffee. He fixed Beth’s exactly the way she liked it; sweet with too much cream, and carried the tray back to the bed. He was wearing a t-shirt that said; ‘Wanna get lucky?’ Beth laughed, and eyed a gold box on the tray.

“
Top
’
o
’
the mornin
’
to ya me lass!”
h
e said with a big grin.

“
And to you” she replied looking over the top of the coffee cup as she sipped, and waited.

“I come’
a bringin
’
the blarney stone for ye to kiss!”
h
e said and handed her the box.

“
Blarney stone?” she laughed and sat the cup down. When she opened the unwrapped box, she gasped. It was an emerald cut emerald ring with diamond baguettes. It was breath-taking.

“
Happy St. Paddy
’
s Day!” he said.
“
I wanted to do something to celebrate those gorgeous green eyes and I thought today was the perfect time to do it!”

Mar
ch
17,
‘
87 ~ The ring was gorgeous, the gesture lovely. He took my right hand and put it on the ring finger… not the left. I couldn
’
t take my eyes off it. My mind drifted, thinking about commitment, and as I lay there admiring the ring,
I was
thinking about the finger he chose to place it on
.
I find that, suddenly I am
longing for that – commitment - missing it.

“Do you ever think about tomorrow,” she asked him as he pulled her back to him, wrapping her in the love she knew they shared.

“
‘Tomorrow’ isn’t a day of the week, Bethy. I just
kinda
roll with today.”

133

Rock and Roll Never Forgets

Chapter Seventeen

I
n January 1988, the guys hit the road again on a limited travel schedule which seemed to work out fine for all of them. They would head to Miami for a huge festival called
All Star Jam
at
Joe Robbie Stadium
.
There would be thirty different big name groups, and three days of non-stop music, throughout the day and night. Some local bands and lesser-known groups would open. The headliners,
Mean Street,
Loverb
oy,
Van Halen,
Traveler
and a growing list of others would fill in time slots all doing sets throughout the weekend. There were slots left open for surprise appearances. It was a big deal, and they expected more than twenty thousand to attend. Andy and Beth went home to Florida for a few days and he left for Miami from there. Kimmy and Beth headed down on Friday for the event.

Only it wasn’t so good. When they arrived Kimmy and Beth checked in with security, as always, for their badges. As their escort took them to the stage area, Beth rounded a corner and saw a young-woman hanging on Andy. Her hands were all over him. She was trying to kiss him, and Beth noticed he wasn
’
t doing anything to push her off. He didn
’
t see Beth watching him, and he was definitely enjoying the attention he was receiving.

Mark spotted Beth, saw the look on her face, and turned to see what she saw. Beth turned quickly and started walking back the way they had just come, with Kimmy hot on her heels, followed closely by Mark. She had no intention of staying.

“
Beth!” Mark shouted,
“
Wait, please wait!”

“
No, I
’
m going home.” She said quietly, with a forced calm. She was not going to cause a scene in public, although she was mad enough she could have exploded with one big boom.

“
Wait
,
” he shouted again.
“
Kimmy!” He yelled to her in exasperation.

“Don’
t look to me for help on this one,” she said sarcastically.

Finally he caught up to Beth and breathlessly grabbed her arm.

“
Let me go,” she said to him, spinning so that they were face to face.

“
Wait; let me talk to you,” Mark said, his hand still gripping her arm.

“
Mark, I said let me go.” She turned away, her temper inching closer to the explosion she was desperately trying to suppress.

“
Beth…”

“Let go of me!” He did and she took a step, then turned back to face him.

“What?” she shouted, raising her voice more than she had intended. Heads started turning, but she was past caring at that point.

“I just want you to know that whatever that was,” he looked back over his shoulder, “it just happened. He has been with us the whole time we
’
ve been here. Nothing happened. I just wanted you to know that.”

“
Well that explains a lot!” She tasted the sarcasm as it spewed from her mouth. “He waited till
I got here, is that what you
’
re telling me?” Tears began rolling down her cheeks, only succeeding in making her angrier.

“
No, I
’
m just…
”

“
Don
’
t
‘
just
’
anything! Because it ‘just’ doesn
’
t matter! He knew we were coming!” She continued stomping away, “Who the hell is she anyway?”

“
Who knows?” he said sadly. “Some backstage bimbo.”

“
I
’
m going home.”

“
I
’
ll tell him, talk to him,” Mark said.

“
Do what you want!”
s
he spat.

It was a long ride home and Kimmy said nothing. She knew Beth well enough to know that if she started to cry she would fall apart
.
Three hours in the car with silence made for a long trip. Beth dropped her at home to a very puzzled Lane. Kimmy held up her hand letting him know not to ask, yet.

When Beth arrived at the condo there was a message on the machine.

“
Hey, baby. I know you aren
’
t there yet. I
’
m sorry for w
hat happened. It just did. That’
s all I can say. It was no big deal. Please call me.” Then he blew that kiss, as he always did.

She waited until after midnight, knowing their stage times. When he picked up the anger finally released.

“
Hey,” he said.

“
Hey?” she shouted,
“Is that how we’
ll start this conversation? ‘Hey!’”

“
Bethy, I said I was sorry.”

“
Sorry? That makes it OK?” She yelled,
“
Has it happened before?”

“No, I don
’
t do that. Wouldn
’
t do that to you,” he said quietly.

“
Then why this time, Andy?” When he said nothing she shouted,
“
Why?” She was angry, but she was more hurt by his nonchalance.

“
I don
’
t know sweetheart, it just did.” He was playing it off like it was no big deal
, which
only pissed her off more.

“
Will it happen again?”

“
No.”

“
You can
’
t say that Andy!”
s
he yelled as the tears started. “You can’t,
so don
’
t make promises you can’
t keep! If it happened now there
’
s a possibility it could happen again, right? I can
’
t live like that!”

“
Bethy…”

“
No, don
’
t. I can
’
t and I won
’
t.” She wasn
’
t shouting any longer. She was shaking, but her voice held a strange calm. She hung up, exhausted, mentally and physically and she went to bed. He called again but she didn’t answer.

Around four in the morning she heard the door open and sat up in the bed.

“
It
’
s me.”

“
Get out,” she said firm, but calm. He stood planted, feet to the floor, at the foot of the bed.
“
Get out,” she said again. “Leave, I mean it Andy. I don
’
t want you here.”

“
Bethy…” he pleaded sadly.

“No. I at least need time to think about this.”

He sat on the edge of the bed.
“
I
’
m tired,” he said. “Just let me sleep. It was a three-hour drive and we played all day.”

“
Fine,” she said and took her pillow and went to the sofa and he followed.

“
Don
’
t do this,” he reached for her.

“
Don
’
t touch me!” It came out hateful and bitter.

“
Bethy, for God
’s sake, I didn’
t sleep with her,” he said dragging a tired hand through his hair.

“Would you have if I hadn’
t come?”

“
No.”

“
How do you know? How can you say
‘
No
’? You said you didn’
t expect what did happen!”

“
I
’
m sorry.”

“
Me too Andy, me too, go to bed,” she said and turned her back to him.

“Come with me baby,” he pleaded.

“
No, I don
’
t want you near me right now. I can’t. Please just get away from me.” It felt like she was pleading and she tried to stifle it and not cry. “You’ve hurt me so badly that I can
’
t even express it Andy.” She felt the sting of tears but she was not going to give him that, no way.

“
I
’
m sorry,” he said again.

“
Stop it!” she snapped.
“
Just go to bed.”

Instead he picked up the car keys and left. She didn
’
t know where he went, and she didn’t really care.

The next morning the phone ringing woke her. It was Phyllis.

“
Beth…” she began, and Beth knew she knew.

“
Don
’t,” she interrupted her. “Don’
t defend him, not now.”

Phyllis was quiet a minute.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you,” Beth said,
“
but I can’t talk to you about this. Not now.”

“
I won’t defend him, Beth. What he did was wrong. I just wanted to tell you that he called and told me everything. He has gone to Eleuthera to the cottage, to think, he said. And pay penance I
’
m sure.”

“
I
’
ll call you later,” Beth told her.
“
I can
’
t talk now.” She didn
’
t want to talk to her. She didn
’
t want to talk to anyone. She just wanted to lie in bed and hide, bury herself in the covers and never come out.

A few minutes later Roddy called.

“Where in the hell is he?” Roddy asked.

“
Phyllis said Eleuthera,” she told him.

“
Phyllis…
? Eleuthera…? What the hell? He’
s got shows to do!” He babbled, questioningly.

“
I don
’
t know Roddy, you should talk to him. You know how to reach him.” It was a short, hateful response.

“
What
’
s going on? Why aren
’
t you with him?” he asked; his concern obvious.

“
Talk to him,” she said again and hung up.

A short time later Roddy called back.
“
Wow,” he said when she answered. “What a mess”

“
Yeah, I know.”

“
I
’
ve canceled and moved other bands into their time slots all afternoon. The guys are pissed, the promoters are more pissed, but what can we do if I can
’
t get him off the damned island. What a mess,” he said again.

Beth said nothing.

“
He
’
s sorry Beth.”

“Don’
t do his dirty work for him,” she said. “Not this time, Roddy.”

“
I
’
m not. He messed up. Once, Beth, once.”

“
And your point?” It was sarcastic, and hateful, but it wasn’t directed at Roddy. She was hurt and angry and he was just on the receiving end.

“
Talk to him. Part of this is your insecurity and you know that.”

The fact that he was pointing this out only made her angrier.
“
Don
’
t
Roddy. Don’t piss me off! I don’
t want to be mad at you, too!”

“
Be pissed if you need to, but think about it. He knew you were coming. There wasn
’
t an opportunity for anything to happen.”

“
This time,” she said, coldly.

“
You know him better than that…”

But she cut him off;
“
One word Roddy, one… Claire.” And it tasted bitter and nasty on her tongue as she said it.

“Get over that, Beth. It’
s past.”

“
I
’
m gonna go now!” she snapped back at him.

“
Go ahead and when you’re done being pissed and feeling sorry for yourself call me back.” He hung up leaving her with her mouth open, in a state of disbelief. How could he say that to her, hang up on her?