Rewriting Destiny (Forsaken Sinners MC #1) (9 page)

The first thing I notice is that Gram is still in bed. I wish there were more I could do for her, but it doesn’t seem like she is getting any better. Instead of waking her up, I let her sleep. I write a note and leave it on the table to let her know I’ll see her after school, then head out the door.

No one at school knows that it’s my birthday today because there isn’t really anyone that I talk to anymore. I make it through the whole day without anyone finding out, but do get a few lingering gazes from the guys and some hateful stares from a couple of the girls, no doubt because of the stares I’m getting from the male population. I don’t even let it faze me because I’ll be done with school in a little over a month’s time. Then most of these people will be going off to university, while I stay here and go to community college.

I could have gone to any college I wanted, never needing to worry about money to pay for tuition since my sperm donor has a college fund for me. But I don’t want to use that money—blood money is what it feels like. Gram asked why I didn’t go to one of the other schools I was accepted into, but I showed her how great the art program was here so she’d back off. It really is a nice school.

When I arrive home, I don’t see my grandmother anywhere.

“Gram, are you here?” I call out as I walk into the kitchen for some water. She isn’t home, so I run upstairs to put my bag away. After I do a quick check in the mirror, I head back downstairs to see what we can do for supper. I would love to go out to eat, but I doubt she’ll feel up to it. Maybe I could order a pizza and have it delivered. We could pop some popcorn later and then watch a movie.

An hour later, she walks in the door with a bag that looks to be from the pharmacy.

“Hey, Gram, whatcha got there?” I walk over to take the bag from her, but she shakes her head and pats me on the hand.

“I’ve got it, sweetheart, but thank you. Happy birthday, by the way! Why didn’t you wake me before you left for school? I would have made you a special breakfast.”

I give her a quick hug, follow her into the kitchen, and jump up to sit on the counter. “That’s okay, Gram, I was running late anyway,” I lie.

“Well, what would you like for dinner, then? I bought cake mix to make your favorite cake,” she says with a smile.

“Mmm, can we just have cake for supper?” I ask like I am five years old again.

She laughs and shakes her head. “No, we cannot, young lady. Now go upstairs and get cleaned up. I’ll figure out what to make you for dinner.”

I jump down and start walking out the door, but turn around when I remember what I wanted to do. “Actually, I was hoping we could maybe order in pizza and then watch a movie tonight.”

She looks up from taking stuff out of the bag and I give her the special smile that I used to give her when I was young and wanted to get away with something. She could never resist that smile.

“Okay, sweetheart, whatever you want. Why don’t you call in the pizza in and I’ll start the cake?”

I run up the stairs and grab my phone off the charger as soon I close the door. I eagerly look down, hoping to see a missed call or at least a text message from Zane, but there’s nothing. I sit on my bed and stare at my phone. I can no longer keep the disappointment and heartache at bay. If he was going to wish me a happy birthday at all, he would have by now. Last year I only got a text message, and now I don’t even get that. I know things have been different between us since what happened, but to completely forget about my birthday? And my eighteenth birthday at that? I don’t think I can do this anymore. It may be time to let him go completely.

I go back downstairs when the pizza arrives, but no longer have a smile on my face. I feel tired now. My grandmother and I sit at the table and quietly eat. She can tell something is wrong, but thankfully doesn't say anything.

I barely taste my cake, and make up the excuse that I am starting to get a headache so I can just go to bed. I should feel bad for skipping out on her, but I honestly can’t even make myself care. I am so tired and want to be done with everything. I cry myself to sleep that night. But hey, it’s my birthday and I can cry if I want to.

Chapter 10

May 30—Graduation Day

I wake up early to make a big breakfast. I want to try and be happy today, if only for my grandmother. Since my birthday, I’ve hardly spoken, and I know she is starting to worry about me. I need to forget about everything that happened. I mean, so what if Zane never told me happy birthday? Not like we’ve really talked that much lately anyway. Actually, we haven’t talked at all since a couple weeks before my birthday. I was going to text him a million times, ask him what is happening to us? How could he forget my birthday? Why can’t he love me? But there’s no point. I just need to move on with my life, and if he doesn’t want to be a part of it, then that’s on him.

As I’m putting the last piece of French toast on a platter, my grandmother walks in. “Good morning, Gram,” I say in what I hope is a cheery voice. “I made us some breakfast. I hope you’re hungry. It’s going to be a big day today!” I smile as I look up at her and almost drop the platter of food. The woman in front of me doesn’t look like my grandmother at all. She’s even paler this morning and seems to be holding on to the counter like she doesn’t trust she can stand on her own.

“Gram, are you okay?” I say, more scared than I care to admit. I walk over and take her arm to help her to the table so she can sit down. Once she’s settled, it still takes her a couple moments to get her bearings and to catch her breath.

Finally, she pats my hand, which is still hanging on to her for dear life, and gives me a weak smile. “I’m fine, sweetheart. I think I just overdid it a bit, picking up my room this morning. I’ll be fine after I rest for a minute.”

For some reason, I don’t believe her. It seems no matter what she does or doesn’t do, she keeps getting worse and worse. Something is most certainly wrong with her, and I need to find out what it is. “Gram, you should have told me and I would have picked up your room for you later. You don’t need to be working yourself so hard. That’s what I’m here for.” I walk to the sink to get her a glass of water.

“Oh, don’t be silly, child. I’m more than capable of cleaning my own room. Plus, you have more things to worry about today than your old grandmother.”

I know it won’t do any good to argue with her, so I’m going to have to do a better job of making sure everything is done so she doesn’t have to do it. I’ll sneak into her room if I have to. I drop the subject and sit down to eat my breakfast.

“What time do you need to be at the school for the ceremony today?” she asks me before she picks up her fork to take a small bite of her food. I know exactly what she’s going to do before she does it. She’ll chew what little bit is in her mouth, then put her fork down and take a drink of her juice. Then she’ll pick the fork up again to start cutting the rest of her meal, and then she’ll just push it around until I’m done. She will then try to get up to take my plate, which will then jump start my argument that I will take care of the dishes. Then she’ll dump her plate and insist on helping till I kick her out of the kitchen. Every time we sit down for a meal, it’s the same thing. No wonder she doesn’t have energy for anything; she never eats, but Heaven forbid if I argue with her about it. I know I should push more, but there’s really no use. At least she snacks during the day, so she’s getting some nutrients.

“Um, I think I need to be there at one o’clock to get my cap and gown, then start getting in position. I was thinking you could go with me when I leave so you can get a spot in the front.” And so she doesn’t have to drive herself, but I leave that part out. I also don’t mention that I want her to ride with me so I have an excuse to leave when everyone asks if I’m going to the party tonight at the lake. I don’t want to go, there’s too many memories out there that I don’t want to confront tonight. It would be nice to get out and maybe have a drink or two, but I know I won’t.

“That sounds good, honey. I’m going to go lay down a bit, but wake me up at noon if I’m not up already, okay?” She doesn’t even wait for me to reply before she gets up and starts her slow walk out of the kitchen. I make a mental note to stop somewhere along the way to get her a snack, and start to clean up the kitchen. Once I have that done, I head up to my room to get a little drawing time in before I have to start getting ready.

Before I know it, the morning has passed me by and it’s time to make sure Gram is up and to get myself together. I’m going to wear a simple sun dress since I’ll have my gown over the top. I decide to leave my hair down also, since I have to wear my cap anyway. After waking Gram, I'll only need to get dressed and I'll be ready.

I run down the steps and walk into my grandmother’s room. She’s lying peacefully on her bed napping and I almost want to leave her be, but that’s not an option today. I gently shake her and softly tell her it’s time to wake up. She slowly opens her eyes and gives me a little smile. I help her sit up and see that she has her dress lying on the other side of the bed, so I walk over and pick it up.

“Do you need help getting ready, Gram?” I know she’s going to say no, but I ask anyway. If there is anything I can offer to make things easier on her, I will do it.

“No, sweetheart, you go on and get yourself dressed.” I nod and lay her dress beside her, then head upstairs.

I took a shower last night, so to the only thing I need to do is freshen up a bit. I look in the mirror and instead of leaving my hair hanging limply around my shoulders, I quickly do a side braid. It will still be easy for me to take my cap on and off, but it will look nice with my dress as well. It’s a little country, but hey, I do live in Texas, so why not? I put on light eye shadow and some mascara, then add some lip gloss. Then I head into my room and get my dress on. It’s a little short, but it’s one of my favorites, with lots of greens, yellows, and white. I pair it with my cowboy boots and am ready to go. I toss my phone in my purse and head downstairs.

Gram is sitting in her chair with her eyes closed. I wait to see if she notices I’ve come into the room, but when she doesn’t, I walk over to her and gently lay my hand on her shoulder. “I’m ready to go, Gram.”

She slowly opens her eyes and it seems to take her a minute to focus on me, but once she does, she looks me up and down and a slow smile graces her tired face. “You look so lovely, Danielle. Just like your mama.”

I take a minute to breathe through my nose, hoping the tears I feel gathering in my eyes don’t fall. I manage a stiff nod and walk into the kitchen for a bottle of water.

By the time I’ve composed myself as best I can, I head back out to the living room to help her up. We slowly walk out to the car, and once she’s situated, I head to the gas station to grab us a quick snack. Then we head toward the school. Traffic is more hectic than usual because of graduation, but once we make it to the parking lot, I manage to find a space close to the doors. It helps that I have a handicapped sign in my car for when Gram rides with me.

I walk her into the gym and make sure she’s comfortable before I head off to the music room to wait till it’s show time. Thankfully, everyone is too excited to notice my entrance, so I manage to find myself a quiet corner to sit and wait.

A half hour later, Mr. Tate whistles to get everyone to quiet down. “Okay, everyone, please be quiet. I know you can’t wait to be done with this place, but until you have that diploma in your hand, you are still under my control.” He says this with an evil smile. We know he is only giving us shit, though. “Now, I want everyone to line up by the door in alphabetical order, and wait for my signal. We will then quietly walk into the gym. Once we get there, I will introduce our special guest, Mayor Gilmore, and he will give a brief speech. Adam will then proceed to give his Valedictorian speech and after that it will finally be time for you to receive your diplomas. We will call each of you up to the stage one at a time. Once you have received your diploma, please make your way quietly back to your seat. Once everyone is seated, I will announce you as the class of 2010 and you can toss your caps into the air. You will then make your way back here and wait to be released. Don’t worry about your cap, we will have them all brought back so you can take them home. Is everyone ready?”

Everyone either nods their head or says yes. “Okay then, get lined up.” He walks out the door, probably to notify whoever is in charge of the music that we are ready. A few minutes later, he returns. “Okay, let’s go. Remember! You will be quiet or I will make you all stay an hour after the ceremony for your last detention!” Some laugh while a few say things like “I’d like to see you try!” or “Just admit it, you’re going to miss us, Mr. Tate!”

Our class song, or what I assume is our class song, starts when we get closer to the gym. I couldn’t even tell you what the song is called, that’s how much I have been out of it the past year. I know it’s a country song, and it sounds like it could be Luke Bryan, but I’m really not sure.

When we arrive at the gym, we start the long walk to our seats. Once everyone is seated, Mr. Tate makes his way to the podium. I don’t hear anything after he thanks everyone for coming today. I don’t really care what he or the mayor says, and I probably won’t even listen to what Adam says. All I want is to get my diploma so I can get out of here, and never look back at this place. I wouldn’t have even walked in the ceremony if it weren’t for my grandmother.

Thankfully it doesn’t take long for everyone to give their speeches, and before I know it, I hear my name being called. “Danielle Rose DeChenne.” I stand up and make my way to the stage. When I reach Mr. Tate, he holds his hand out to shake mine.

“Congratulations, Ms. DeChenne.” He passes me my diploma with his other hand and I turn to look at Gram. She has a smile on her face and what looks like tears in her eyes. It means everything to me that she is here for me today. Before I look away, I notice Mr. and Mrs. Hendricks sitting next to her. I don’t know why they are here, but I give them a small smile before walking back to my seat.

Did my grandmother invite them, or did they come on their own? But the most important question that keeps going through my head: Is Zane here too? I force myself to look straight ahead and not around the room to see if I can spot him. I know if I do see him I will crumble, and I can’t afford that. But the main reason is because I don’t think I could stand the disappointment if he isn’t here. I lose no matter which way I slice it.

It doesn’t take long for all one hundred and twenty-two students to receive their diplomas, and soon Mr. Tate is walking back up to the podium. “I give you the class of 2010!” Everyone stands up and tosses their cap, except me. I just let it fall to the ground. I never really understood the point of tossing your cap. Why even have a cap if you are only going to wear it for a short period of time and then toss it in the air? Doesn’t make sense, but whatever. To each their own.

Once the chaos has settled a bit, we walk back to the music room. Well, we’re supposed to walk, but most everyone is jumping around, riding on someone’s back, or literally running. I stay with the crowd, but I am not as enthusiastic as everyone else.

It takes about twenty minutes for the janitor to bring a big bag full of caps back to us. Everyone has taken their gown off and is waiting to be released. Mr. Tate comes back in soon after and says we can all leave. I find my cap pretty quickly and start to walk back to the gym. I'm not sure if my grandmother will still be sitting there waiting for me, or if she has gone outside already. With a quick glance through the doors, I see she isn’t in there, so I head outside to the front of the school were everyone is congregating.

I spot my grandmother sitting at a picnic table off to the side, but she is not alone. Mr. and Mrs. Hendricks are with her. I guess I was going to have to talk to them sooner or later, but I've been hoping I wouldn’t have to do it with my grandmother right there.

When I reach them, Mrs. Hendricks pulls me in for a hug. She holds me tight and congratulates me. Then Mr. Hendricks pulls me to him and gives me a hug as well.

“We are so proud of you. I hope you don’t mind that we came, but we couldn’t miss this.” Mrs. Hendricks is a sweet lady, she really is. Now that they are here, I think I might have misjudged the situation. It's not as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. At least until my grandmother asks the one question I don't want to know the answer to.

“Where’s Zane? I didn’t see him in there.”

Looks like whether I want it or not, I’m going to get the answer.

“Ah, well, he’s not here actually. He, uh, he’s pretty busy with school right now,” says Mrs. Hendricks. If I wasn’t staring right at her, I would have missed the brief look of pain that crosses her face before she covers it up. So it seems like I’m not the only one who he has been ignoring. Or maybe they are still tense from the fight they had before he left for school. He never did tell me what happened that day, and never mentioned if things were better.

“Oh, I thought for sure he’d be here. With this being Danielle’s big day and all.” There is no malice behind my grandmother’s words; she is genuinely shocked that he hasn't come. I wish I could say I am too, but I guess I knew deep down that he wouldn’t be here. I mean, I haven’t even spoken to him in almost two months. It is like he dropped off the face of the earth, or he forgot about all of us. If my heart didn’t hurt so much, I would be majorly pissed off.